VAMPTANIC
Old, ancient Buffy/Petunia (Petunia) wheels herself into the game hall at the retirement home. As most old ladies usually do, she starts talking to herself and telling her story to nobody…
Buffy/Petunia: They called it the ship of dreams.. and it was, it really was.
Buffy/Petunia dies.
Director comes on-set waving his hands around and yelling at her. She comes back to life and hits him with her purse because he has once again brought her back from heaven. He reminds her that she has a contract and she goes on with the show.
Buffy/Petunia: FINE. Theycalledittheshipofdreamsandohitwasitreallyreallywas.
*Fades to a magnificent boat, prepared for it's maiden voyage, and on the side of the boat the name of it is sprawled out in elegant letters written in blood: VAMPTANIC*
A young Buffy/Petunia and Angel are getting out of their expensive silver Porsche as OZ runs up; he is one of the attendants.
OZ: May I help you with your bags, sir?
Angel: Hm, yes. But there are too many for you to carry… Oh, boy!
Oz runs back and forward, he is also now the second steward.
Angel: Very good, you two may carry our bags.
Buffy/Petunia: Oh, Angel, you're so manly!
Angel: I know.
Buffy/Petunia and Angel try to board the ship with Oz (playing steward 1 and 2) tries to follow them, but he misses his step and falls into the sea, hitting his head on the boat. Buffy/Petunia and Angel do not notice.
Meanwhile…
BOB/RILEY is acting cool and tough playing cards on land with other Oz-es. Every time someone needs to make a move he jumps to the next chair.
Bob/Riley: Haha, I am cool and tough and smarter then you.
Oz (annoyed that now he not only has to play cards for everyone, he must actually talk to Riley): Smarter then WHO?
Bob/Riley: No one in particular. Just everyone.
Oz: I see. (Oz, now confused as to what character he is playing, makes a bad move in the game and accidentally loses)
Oz: Oh my, what have I done. *rolls eyes*
Bob/Riley: HaHA! I win! I win! (Bob/Riley starts to do a strange dance)
Oz: You'd better catch the boat now.
Bob/Riley: Why?
Oz: I think you won a ticket or something.
Bob/Riley: Ok!
Oz: WAIT!
Bob/Riley: What?
Oz: You're supposed to say something witty and cool that mocks your opponents before you leave.
Bob/Riley: Um.. ok! Nanny nanny boo-boo! I beat you!
Oz (rolls his eyes again): Good one.
(Bob/Riley runs to the boat and jumps on, thus looking all cool, but then we see that he has wires attached to him.)
Bob/Riley: HA HA! I'm on top of the..boat.
Petunia/Buffy/Petunia sees him, and since she did not notice the wires, he seems to be cool. She bats her eyelashes, but then we see that they are fake and they fall off.
Buffy/Petunia: Is it time for my nude scene yet?
Behind-the-scenes man: No.
Bob/Riley/: Yes!
Old, ancient Buffy/Petunia (Petunia) wheels herself into the game hall at the retirement home. As most old ladies usually do, she starts talking to herself and telling her story to nobody…
Buffy/Petunia: They called it the ship of dreams.. and it was, it really was.
Buffy/Petunia dies.
Director comes on-set waving his hands around and yelling at her. She comes back to life and hits him with her purse because he has once again brought her back from heaven. He reminds her that she has a contract and she goes on with the show.
Buffy/Petunia: FINE. Theycalledittheshipofdreamsandohitwasitreallyreallywas.
*Fades to a magnificent boat, prepared for it's maiden voyage, and on the side of the boat the name of it is sprawled out in elegant letters written in blood: VAMPTANIC*
A young Buffy/Petunia and Angel are getting out of their expensive silver Porsche as OZ runs up; he is one of the attendants.
OZ: May I help you with your bags, sir?
Angel: Hm, yes. But there are too many for you to carry… Oh, boy!
Oz runs back and forward, he is also now the second steward.
Angel: Very good, you two may carry our bags.
Buffy/Petunia: Oh, Angel, you're so manly!
Angel: I know.
Buffy/Petunia and Angel try to board the ship with Oz (playing steward 1 and 2) tries to follow them, but he misses his step and falls into the sea, hitting his head on the boat. Buffy/Petunia and Angel do not notice.
Meanwhile…
BOB/RILEY is acting cool and tough playing cards on land with other Oz-es. Every time someone needs to make a move he jumps to the next chair.
Bob/Riley: Haha, I am cool and tough and smarter then you.
Oz (annoyed that now he not only has to play cards for everyone, he must actually talk to Riley): Smarter then WHO?
Bob/Riley: No one in particular. Just everyone.
Oz: I see. (Oz, now confused as to what character he is playing, makes a bad move in the game and accidentally loses)
Oz: Oh my, what have I done. *rolls eyes*
Bob/Riley: HaHA! I win! I win! (Bob/Riley starts to do a strange dance)
Oz: You'd better catch the boat now.
Bob/Riley: Why?
Oz: I think you won a ticket or something.
Bob/Riley: Ok!
Oz: WAIT!
Bob/Riley: What?
Oz: You're supposed to say something witty and cool that mocks your opponents before you leave.
Bob/Riley: Um.. ok! Nanny nanny boo-boo! I beat you!
Oz (rolls his eyes again): Good one.
(Bob/Riley runs to the boat and jumps on, thus looking all cool, but then we see that he has wires attached to him.)
Bob/Riley: HA HA! I'm on top of the..boat.
Petunia/Buffy/Petunia sees him, and since she did not notice the wires, he seems to be cool. She bats her eyelashes, but then we see that they are fake and they fall off.
Buffy/Petunia: Is it time for my nude scene yet?
Behind-the-scenes man: No.
Bob/Riley/: Yes!