1 Vamptanic
Part 2
Bob/Riley winks at Buffy/Petunia, and she laughs at his pathetic attempt to be cool. Angel decides to be suddenly evil and pulls out a tennis racket and hits Buffy/Petunia repeatedly. When they both recover, he apologizes and hides the weapon and Buffy/Petunia gets up and forgives him again. He then has to go a hundred years without going evil again before he can retrieve his soul. Or something like that.
Later, we see Bob/Riley sketching in an artistic nature on deck. Oz realizes he must be a curious passenger and runs to his position, then casually strolls down the deck until he reaches Bob/Riley.
Oz: I say, what are you drawing there?
Bob/Riley: Pictures. I'm an artist. Would you like to see my work?
Oz: Indeed!
Bob/Riley gives his pictures to Oz and he looks at them disgustedly.
Oz: This looks like porn!
Bob/Riley: Well, it is porn. But not only do guys pay big money for it, all the girls think it's something brilliant and artistic.
Oz: I see. You're very brilliant.
Bob/Riley: I am brilliant, handsome and cool.
Oz: Good for you.
Oz looks at the script and realizes he must be Bob/Riley's Italian friend and runs to get his accordion.
Meanwhile…
The captain of the ship (Tara/Captain and Willow/Captain), the builder of the ship (Xander), Buffy/Petunia, Angel, and Mary/Cordelia Cookie (Cordelia) are all sitting around drinking tea.
Mary Cookie/Cordelia: ..And so then I beat the shit out of him.
Buffy/Petunia: I could've done it ten times better then you, bitch.
Angel becomes suddenly evil again and draws from behind his chair a surfboard and hits Buffy/Petunia with it repeatedly. He looses his soul again and Buffy/Petunia forgives him. Spike says something cool. Buffy/Petunia throws herself at him and they have sex on the table.
Mary/Cordelia: Well, that was rude, Miss Creek.
Buffy/Petunia: I'm sorry, I'm just very modern. I believe that everyone should obey his or her emotions and feelings, thus making me all neat and unaccepted by everyone. *starts to cry* Why?! Why can't I do what IIIII WANNNT?! WAHHHH!
Buffy/Petunia throws a fit. Angel starts to hit Mary/Cordelia with a ridiculously large sandwich. Oz, as a waiter, serves Xander a hotdog with mustard, thus causing XANDER to throw a fit because the 'hot dog' is far too small for someone of his stature. Oz suggests that perhaps his obsession with big things means he is confiscating for something, and Xander attacks him.
GILES enters the scene in a green dress, and tells Buffy/Petunia to behave. Angel sees him and rips the large dictionary from his hands and begins hitting OZ repeatedly. Willow/Captain and Tara/Captain have crawled under the table to hide and are now passionately making out and ripping each other's clothes off when they remember that they are both one person and it'd be pretty gross to have sex with themselves, thus making the captain a pretty sick guy. Spike sits in his chair and pouts. The director runs on the scene waving his arms wildly and we fade to black.
Part 2
Bob/Riley winks at Buffy/Petunia, and she laughs at his pathetic attempt to be cool. Angel decides to be suddenly evil and pulls out a tennis racket and hits Buffy/Petunia repeatedly. When they both recover, he apologizes and hides the weapon and Buffy/Petunia gets up and forgives him again. He then has to go a hundred years without going evil again before he can retrieve his soul. Or something like that.
Later, we see Bob/Riley sketching in an artistic nature on deck. Oz realizes he must be a curious passenger and runs to his position, then casually strolls down the deck until he reaches Bob/Riley.
Oz: I say, what are you drawing there?
Bob/Riley: Pictures. I'm an artist. Would you like to see my work?
Oz: Indeed!
Bob/Riley gives his pictures to Oz and he looks at them disgustedly.
Oz: This looks like porn!
Bob/Riley: Well, it is porn. But not only do guys pay big money for it, all the girls think it's something brilliant and artistic.
Oz: I see. You're very brilliant.
Bob/Riley: I am brilliant, handsome and cool.
Oz: Good for you.
Oz looks at the script and realizes he must be Bob/Riley's Italian friend and runs to get his accordion.
Meanwhile…
The captain of the ship (Tara/Captain and Willow/Captain), the builder of the ship (Xander), Buffy/Petunia, Angel, and Mary/Cordelia Cookie (Cordelia) are all sitting around drinking tea.
Mary Cookie/Cordelia: ..And so then I beat the shit out of him.
Buffy/Petunia: I could've done it ten times better then you, bitch.
Angel becomes suddenly evil again and draws from behind his chair a surfboard and hits Buffy/Petunia with it repeatedly. He looses his soul again and Buffy/Petunia forgives him. Spike says something cool. Buffy/Petunia throws herself at him and they have sex on the table.
Mary/Cordelia: Well, that was rude, Miss Creek.
Buffy/Petunia: I'm sorry, I'm just very modern. I believe that everyone should obey his or her emotions and feelings, thus making me all neat and unaccepted by everyone. *starts to cry* Why?! Why can't I do what IIIII WANNNT?! WAHHHH!
Buffy/Petunia throws a fit. Angel starts to hit Mary/Cordelia with a ridiculously large sandwich. Oz, as a waiter, serves Xander a hotdog with mustard, thus causing XANDER to throw a fit because the 'hot dog' is far too small for someone of his stature. Oz suggests that perhaps his obsession with big things means he is confiscating for something, and Xander attacks him.
GILES enters the scene in a green dress, and tells Buffy/Petunia to behave. Angel sees him and rips the large dictionary from his hands and begins hitting OZ repeatedly. Willow/Captain and Tara/Captain have crawled under the table to hide and are now passionately making out and ripping each other's clothes off when they remember that they are both one person and it'd be pretty gross to have sex with themselves, thus making the captain a pretty sick guy. Spike sits in his chair and pouts. The director runs on the scene waving his arms wildly and we fade to black.