I stopped dead in my tracks, grabbing Dätura by the arm. She gave me a calm look, meeting me gaze for gaze. I noted absently that she was acting normal again, which was much more comfortable for me.
"You mean she's here?" I almost squeaked, unable to hide my excitement. Dätura nodded once then shook her head.
"No, not necessarily here, but the man knew that she hadn't left the planet yet."
I nodded absently. "So I'm not losing my Jedi senses. Did you pick up where she might be?"
She shook her head again. "No, not exactly. She might be doing another job for him, though."
"And that means that the dealer probably knows where she is!" I grinned, and began to walk again. It took us a good half an hour to get to the hanger that the man in the bar had told me about. It was part of the more run-down district, which made me nervous even though we were both Jedi. I didn't have my lightsaber with me for the sake of blending in, and Dätura's was hidden. It was eerie, because I remember that district being rather high-class in my day. Now it was a filthy hole full of bounty hunters and spice dealers. Sure, I used to work with their kind all the time, and I was a smuggler by trade, but these were the types that almost screamed evil and death. It made me sick, just walking through there.
Walking into the bay 92 East, and up to the port A3 wasn't much better. We got some weird looks, which only made me feel worse. I had forgotten what I was used to seeing all the time, which was scum and villainy. The dealer wasn't hard to find once we were in, though.
"Remember, let me do the talking." Dätura whispered as we approached the small crowd at the edge of the abandoned hanger. I nodded.
"One-forth a kilo of virgin." I whispered back.
"U-natch bakta lao tibo!" One Rodian was saying to another hooded figure, which I guessed to be the dealer.
"I told you, the price stands." A female voice spoke from underneath the hood. She leaned forward carefully, placing her hands on the small table in front of her. "Now pay up, or get out before I have to kill you." Her voice was icy and hard, and I was reminiscent of how mine used to be. It shook me slightly, but I felt better once Dätura began to speak.
"We're here to pick up a forth of a kilo of virgin spice." She flashed her orange eyes towards the Rodian who was still huffing angrily. "And we are ready to pay the price." Her voice was smooth and calm, and her demeanor was a lot like Tori's. It had something a bit more to it, though. Something more… seductive.
The hooded figure nodded eagerly. "Good, a person willing to do business." The Rodian swore, then turned and stalked away. She pulled a small pouch out of her robes, tossing it on the table. Dätura picked it up, holding it to the only light source in the large space. I took it away from her, and inspected it myself. Nodding silently, I passed it back to the woman.
"We'll take it," Dätura stated. The woman began to pull something from underneath the table. "As long as we can know who brought it here, that is."
The dealer froze, straightening considerably. Crossing her arms, she shook her head. "I don't give out names, missy."
Dätura actually smirked. I guess I was rubbing off on her a bit. "Then I guess you've lost yourself two deals today." She turned to leave, but was stopped by the wave of the woman's arm.
"All right, but you've caught me on a bad day." She took a deep breath and leaned forward again. "Her name was Zoicite. Odd little thing, with tattoos all over her. I only met her once, when she brought in the load from a little planet called Morbos. There you are, now," She lifted a small, flat box out from under the table. "Leave."
Reaching forward quickly, Dätura grabbed her by the neck. She pulled the woman over the table in a second, sending her sprawling on the floor of the hanger. A blaster fell out of the robes of the woman, who now pinned to the floor by Dätura. I picked it up, and pointed both hers and mine at the woman's head. She met me with angry, but human eyes that appeared black in the darkness.
"You're going to regret-"
"Shut up," Dätura bit her off quickly, twisting her arm a little more. The woman made a painful face, growling softly. "Tell us where this girl Zoicite is, or my partner here with fire."
A strained laugh escaped the woman. "You wouldn't."
"Wanna make that a bet?" I said sharply, clicking the safety off on both guns. They hummed to life, like snakes that were eager to strike.
She glared at me with pure hate in her features, but I shrugged it off like I had done so many times before.
"She's gone into the old Imperial District looking for more work."
"That's on the other side of the planet." I noted carefully.
"Yeah," the woman said, her voice sounding even more strained than before. "Said she needed money, and quick. Asked her why, but she didn't say."
I glanced to Dätura, to make sure the woman was telling the truth.
"You're lying about something." That answered my question.
The woman forced another snicker. "How would you know, missy?" She grunted in pain as Dätura twisted her arm a bit more. "All right, she said it was 'for a friend'! Now let me go."
Dätura nodded at me, signaling it was my turn.
"Oh, I don't know, I think we should kill her." I laughed outright, as the woman's eyes grew wide with fear. I lowered my voice. "Or we could just leave her here with a nice five hundred credits to clear her memory a bit." I raised my eyebrow. "Death or money, death or money… Oh, which one should you pick?" I taunted, feeling somewhat myself again in this situation.
"All right, all right, I'll take the money. Forgetting is something I'm good at, don't worry."
Dätura nodded, and stood up gracefully. I tossed the woman her blaster and a small bag of credits after she had stood back up. We turned away, heading out of there as quickly as possible.
***
Three days later, we were across the planet in the Imperial District. Apparently, it had kept its name through the actual Imperial days, and into the New Republic. It was always called that, even before the Empire, probably for the presence of so many capital buildings. There wasn't much smuggling going on there, but what was there was going for high prices.
That's probably why we spent three days looking, and found not a single clue to Tori's whereabouts. I even tried a Jedi trance, but either she was hiding or wasn't on the planet anymore. I believed it was the latter, despite Dätura insisting that the woman had told us the truth.
"Maybe she just thought she was telling us the truth." I stated, sounding more and more distraught by the hour. We were seated in a bar just outside what was considered the 'tourist' part of the district.
Dätura shook her head. "No, I don't think so. Maybe Tori is hiding from us. Like she's got some unfinished business." She took a sip of her drink.
Now I was shaking my head. "I just can't imagine that Tori would do that. She knows how much I need her, and I'm sure that she can see how much pain I'm in." I stopped abruptly, hoping that Dätura didn't really register that last part. All I needed was another person worrying about me even more. There was an awkward silence between us before she broke it.
"You two were lovers, weren't you?"
Or, should I say, shattered it.
"Eh?" I jumped in my seat a little bit, and in the back of my mind I noted that she had done that to me a lot lately. "Lovers? No, never… What gave you that idea?" And, if I didn't know better, I would have said that Dätura turned bright red and that her eyes got as big as saucers right then. I almost called her on it, and I regret to this day not doing so.
"Well, with you talking about how much you need her and everything, I just assumed." She coughed nervously. "Nevermind."
I sat there looking at her downcast eyes for a long moment. I finally decided what to say, though nobody ever said anything about tact. "Dätura, why is it you get all upset when I talk about her?"
She straightened, and, to my surprise, glared at me. "Why do you think, Dez?"
I lifted my arms up in surrender. "I don't know, Dai. That's why I'm asking! Why did you come on this mission with me if you're against me finding her?"
"I'm not against you finding her, its just…" She took a deep breath, and broke my gaze. "It just seems like she doesn't want to be found."
Her words hit me like stones, stinging and bruising their way into me. "How can you say that?"
She met my eyes again, this time reluctantly. "Because that's the way it looks to me, Dez. I'm just stating my opinion, that's all."
I huffed and sat back. "Sounds more like you're trying to discourage me, Dai." I opened my mouth to speak again, but cut myself off before I said something that really hurt her. It was odd, looking at this girl whose shell I had tried to break. Now she was close to cracking herself wide open, and I wasn't sure that I wanted to see. A horrible thought, I know. I tried not to cringe.
"I think we should return to the ship now, Deseray." Dätura's voice was so soft and frail, I could barely believe it. I nodded my agreement, and we returned.
On the way back, I considered leaving the planet. If Tori really didn't want to be found, maybe she wanted the whole world to herself as well. Or maybe she really was in trouble. What if her Jedi powers had been disabled, and she was defenseless? My blood went cold. Or maybe she didn't remember me at all… Maybe she sees me, but doesn't know who I am so she hides? What if-
"Deseray, the lock."
I looked up suddenly, and found myself back with the Galaxia. Dätura was touching my arm lightly, asking me to unlock it. I gave her a dazed glance, and opened it. We would stay one more day, then I would go into another Jedi trance and try to locate Tori. Instinctively, I sat in the pilot's chair, and I vaguely noticed that Dätura sat by me in the co-pilot's seat. I kept thinking my thoughts, oblivious to her fiddling idly with some switches, checking this and that.
"Are you mad?" she asked softly, bring me out of my thoughts.
"At you? No, I'm just a bit ... overwhelmed. That's all. And I'm sorry for snapping at you, too." I sighed deeply, flashing her a grin. "It's not your fault I'm all strung out."
There was a pause. Her voice came a bit stronger this time. "Is there anything I can do to help?"
I shook my head. "I don't know..." I rubbed my eyes, feeling rather lost.
I heard her stand slowly, and when I looked up, her eyes were full of fire.
What happened next changed me forever, though I didn't know it at the time.
She placed a hand on either side of the chair I was in, leaning in close to me. "So…" She whispered, warm breath tickling my face. "You and Tori aren't together?" Her voice was oddly playful, making me a little nervous and a little excited.
I shook my head slowly, staring back at her orange coals of eyes. They burned more than ever, with some hidden light that she was only letting me see just now. I couldn't get out of her eyes, even as she leaned closer to me. Something inside made me want to dive in, and drown myself inside of those liquid fire pools of hers.
Something pushed me to ask her why, to get an explanation. Why she was leaning closer and closer, but my mind fogged as I felt hers brush against mine. Softy at first, testing my walls. Then she moved closer to me, our noses almost touching. I swear I could hear my heart pounding inside of my chest as she whispered inside of my mind a million things at once. Asking me if I had seen this coming, asking me if I had cared for her like this, asking me why I didn't tell her things, asking me if I had known the strength of my own charisma.
I held my breath as Dätura's lips brushed mine.
Time stopped.
I think that my mind exploded with the flood of emotion and memories she forced upon me. Everything she had ever done, every little falter she took when I was around was all because of … this.
She kissed me again, and I felt myself light on fire. My throat grew tight and I couldn't breath. She pulled away slowly, gasping heavily against my skin.
"Deseray, I'm sorry, I…" My eyes drifted open just in time to see her retreat into the next room. My mind was still reeling at the suddenness of her advances. Or maybe they weren't so sudden after all…
I followed her quickly, finding her leaning against the table, head turned away from me. I put a careful hand on her pale shoulder, but she spun violently away, facing me fully. Her eyes were desperate.
"Please don't be mad, I just… I couldn't just wait around anymore… Knowing…" Her breath was coming ragged and quick, and she was more emotional than I had ever seen her before.
"Knowing you had a chance, Dätura?" I finished for her softly, stepping closer to her and caressing both her shoulders. She nodded slowly, her eyes calming. "How could I refuse such a girl as yourself, Dai?" I leaned in, smiling as her eager eyes lit up. This time I kissed her, and she wrapped her arms around my waist, pulling me close. This felt so right and so good, it was insane. My head began to spin as she used the Force to set me alight yet again.
She hopped backward onto the table without breaking the kiss, quickly straddling me with her now free legs. I groaned deeply as she began to rock against me. Wave after wave of pleasure washed over my body as she deepened the kiss even more, sending liquid fire into my mouth.
She tasted like honey.
I grasped her tightly, not wanting to let go. I could feel her inside of my mind, caressing, soothing, and turning up the heat. I could feel it deep inside of me now, pulsing out from between my legs and up through my torso.
"Deseray," Dätura gasped out suddenly, her voice throaty and her hands tangled in my hair. She met my eyes, burning with lust. I drowned in orange pools of fire.
Days past, and not once did it cross my mind that her moves on me were sudden. Nor did it cross my mind that I have hardly ever thought of girls in the way I was thinking of Dätura now. I never once considered it to be odd and not once did I question her about it after that day.
We just were, and I stopped thinking for awhile. The air between us was conformable and scarce, if you know what I mean. We kissed, hugged, and held each other. She slept beside me, but we never went too far. I thought it was an act of passion between us, or an act of pure lust. I considered myself attractive, after all… And so was she. For me it was nice to have someone close. And for her… I never knew what it was to her. I never knew the depth of her feelings, and never truly understood her until ... Oh, now I'm getting ahead of myself again.
So we stopped in our search for Tori for a few days, and I convinced myself that if we kept asking around, we would draw a little too much attention to ourselves. I had fun. We went out at night and drank a little and I got into a bar fight, which was over in two seconds flat. I felt really happy for the first time in what seemed like an eternity.
Then the dreams started.
First they were fragments of memories and feelings. Tori and I in a Morbonian bar, stirring up some trouble. Obi-Wan talking about Ani's increasing anger problems to me. My first and only trip with spice, before I decided to smuggle it and not use it. My last drink before Obi-Wan drugged me into stasis. The emotions were there too. Love and betrayal and anger and fear and denial. They were all swirling into each memory while it played before my unwilling mind.
I talked to Dätura about them, or at least, I tried. She attempted to interpret them for me, or help me sleep better, but nothing helped. All the while this kind of unintentional anger at the people who brought me here, myself included. Yes, it had given Dätura and me a chance to be together, but it still kept dangling my last hope in front of my nose, not giving me what I really, really wanted.
So we would go out, and I would inquire and people would give me leads. We almost got in serious trouble before I became more discreet. And Dätura followed without a word, holding my hand possessively. When I looked into her eyes, the anger was burned away, but it soon came back, chilling me to the bone. I know now that she saw what was to become of us, and what was happening to me. I'll never know why she didn't say anything when I got to be short tempered, or when I would swear up a storm for no reason. She would just look at me, and I'd be sorry. I'd do whatever it took to make it right again, even if the person I had hit had already been taken away by a few wary friends, and even if my swearing only continued. Point is I tried, right? Right…
I tried to find Tori. I think that, in a way, I was succeeding when Dätura kissed me for the first time. But then... I got a lead. I got an address. I got the name and species of the lead spice trader of the district. Tori always worked with the biggest and the best, after all. Plus, there were rumors of a strange tattooed girl who kept running planet-side deals nobody thought could be done. I knew it was her, right away. I knew where to find her, and I knew what to do. Just waltz in there, ask for her whereabouts, kick some ass, and get the info after hacking a bit. Or maybe they'd give me enough trouble so I'd actually have to try. I remember thinking that warming up my fighting skills would be a nice change to the usual 'hit-em-and-they're-out' deal I'd been seeing lately.
The night before I planned to seek out the small facility, Dätura did something strange.
She asked me to bring my lightsaber. Ok, so maybe it doesn't seem all the strange now, but at the time, it surprised me. I hardly ever brought it along with me unless I was expecting a big fight. Just walking into a building a mugging a secretary hardly seemed … challenging. And I didn't like to draw attention to the fact that I was trained in the Jedi arts, because then people start expecting things to fly across the room and then they have the incredible desire to kill you. Weird, ne?
So I asked her why, and she said for my protection. I held her, and wondered to myself if she saw something that I didn't in all this. I pushed it aside, though, and the next day I walked down into the lower levels of Corusant. I walked through the door of the building. I noticed a hotel just by it, and considered going in.
Goddess knows to this day, I wish I had.
So I entered, and the first things I noticed were the white, serial walls. The second was the secretary, a Twi'lek, who looked up abruptly upon our entrance. The third and last thing I ever noticed in that building was the scent of death. Thick, black and hazy.
Goddess knows I should have checked the hotel first.
End Chapter 9
My artwork for this chapter: