1 A/n: I know the beginning wasn't all that funny, but I may modify it
later. I just couldn't think of anything.
2
3
4 Vamptanic
Part 3
Buffy/Petunia: Oh, what a stupid ship!
Oz has now joined Bob/Riley, and is trying to play the accordion.
Bob/Riley: Oh, my, who is that daring beauty? She's almost as good looking and cool as me!
Oz: (in Italian accent) You don't want to be getting involved with other rich passengers, now, let me offer you some advice-
Bob/Riley doesn't want to hear this line, thus, he hits Oz with his large portfolio and Oz falls from the boat.
Buffy/Petunia is bored and hops up on the railings of the ship. She is playing a balancing game.
Bob/Riley: Hello. You must now try to commit suicide or slip, so I can save you to appear all brilliant and cool.
Buffy/Petunia laughs at him, but as she does so, Oz reaches up from the side of the boat and holds to her ankle for dear life, causing her to slip.
Buffy/Petunia: Help me! Help me!
Bob/Riley, frantic, since he had no plan whatsoever to save her, grabs a lifesaver and hits Buffy/Petunia upside the head. This time she falls on top of Oz, causing him to fall as well, and they topple into the sea. Bob/Riley ponders how to cover up the murder until he sees that Buffy is climbing up the boat. She has only just made it to the top when Angel, out of nowhere, approaches with a plastic birdbath and begins to hit Bob/Riley with it repeatedly.
Buffy/Petunia: YES! YES! KILL HIM NOW!
Bob/Riley: No! Don't kill Bob! Don't kill Bob!
Angel realizes he has lost his soul again, and goes away.
Buffy/Petunia goes insane, since she must have a boyfriend.
Xander: I will be your big boyfriend!
Buffy/Petunia: Oh, wonderful!
Suddenly Xander is struck by a wrecking ball and is obliterated.
Buffy/Petunia: No more men left!
Bob/Riley: What about me?
Buffy/Petunia: You're not a man! Oh, well, I guess I'll just be a lesbian, then.
She kisses Bob/Riley, then makes a face. It leaves a really bad taste in her mouth, so she runs into the nearest room, the captain's room, for a breath freshener. The captains are bleaching their mustaches and waxing their legs. Bob/Riley runs after Buffy/Petunia but is distracted by this.
Bob/Riley: Can I join you?
Suddenly, Giles runs in a new blue dress and starts to sing in a Celine Dion-type voice.
Giles: Neeearrrrrr farrrr… whereEVER you are… I believe that my body functions go onnnnnnn…
Buffy/Petunia: My mother has flipped.
Bob/Riley: Oh! Pink nail polish!
Tara Willow/captains: Let's have a 'Gay Pride Captain Day'!
Director: That's what I want! We must all be politically correct!
He magically turns Oz into an African-American with Native American roots. He also puts him in a wheelchair.
Buffy/Petunia: Aren't we getting off the subject?
Angel enters and begins hitting her repeatedly with an electronic keyboard.
Meanwhile, Spike looks out his window portal thingy and begins to type on his typewriter. Suddenly the color goes all funny and we have to strain our eyes to see.
(Typing)
This story is about truth, freedom, beauty, and above all, love. The woman that I loved.. is.. dead.
(Ceases typing)
A little midget jumps out and suddenly the room gets all twirly and sickening.
Wait, wrong movie.
2
3
4 Vamptanic
Part 3
Buffy/Petunia: Oh, what a stupid ship!
Oz has now joined Bob/Riley, and is trying to play the accordion.
Bob/Riley: Oh, my, who is that daring beauty? She's almost as good looking and cool as me!
Oz: (in Italian accent) You don't want to be getting involved with other rich passengers, now, let me offer you some advice-
Bob/Riley doesn't want to hear this line, thus, he hits Oz with his large portfolio and Oz falls from the boat.
Buffy/Petunia is bored and hops up on the railings of the ship. She is playing a balancing game.
Bob/Riley: Hello. You must now try to commit suicide or slip, so I can save you to appear all brilliant and cool.
Buffy/Petunia laughs at him, but as she does so, Oz reaches up from the side of the boat and holds to her ankle for dear life, causing her to slip.
Buffy/Petunia: Help me! Help me!
Bob/Riley, frantic, since he had no plan whatsoever to save her, grabs a lifesaver and hits Buffy/Petunia upside the head. This time she falls on top of Oz, causing him to fall as well, and they topple into the sea. Bob/Riley ponders how to cover up the murder until he sees that Buffy is climbing up the boat. She has only just made it to the top when Angel, out of nowhere, approaches with a plastic birdbath and begins to hit Bob/Riley with it repeatedly.
Buffy/Petunia: YES! YES! KILL HIM NOW!
Bob/Riley: No! Don't kill Bob! Don't kill Bob!
Angel realizes he has lost his soul again, and goes away.
Buffy/Petunia goes insane, since she must have a boyfriend.
Xander: I will be your big boyfriend!
Buffy/Petunia: Oh, wonderful!
Suddenly Xander is struck by a wrecking ball and is obliterated.
Buffy/Petunia: No more men left!
Bob/Riley: What about me?
Buffy/Petunia: You're not a man! Oh, well, I guess I'll just be a lesbian, then.
She kisses Bob/Riley, then makes a face. It leaves a really bad taste in her mouth, so she runs into the nearest room, the captain's room, for a breath freshener. The captains are bleaching their mustaches and waxing their legs. Bob/Riley runs after Buffy/Petunia but is distracted by this.
Bob/Riley: Can I join you?
Suddenly, Giles runs in a new blue dress and starts to sing in a Celine Dion-type voice.
Giles: Neeearrrrrr farrrr… whereEVER you are… I believe that my body functions go onnnnnnn…
Buffy/Petunia: My mother has flipped.
Bob/Riley: Oh! Pink nail polish!
Tara Willow/captains: Let's have a 'Gay Pride Captain Day'!
Director: That's what I want! We must all be politically correct!
He magically turns Oz into an African-American with Native American roots. He also puts him in a wheelchair.
Buffy/Petunia: Aren't we getting off the subject?
Angel enters and begins hitting her repeatedly with an electronic keyboard.
Meanwhile, Spike looks out his window portal thingy and begins to type on his typewriter. Suddenly the color goes all funny and we have to strain our eyes to see.
(Typing)
This story is about truth, freedom, beauty, and above all, love. The woman that I loved.. is.. dead.
(Ceases typing)
A little midget jumps out and suddenly the room gets all twirly and sickening.
Wait, wrong movie.