The thoughts of Gemma
I don't believe this. I need Dillion and here we are, outside of the hostel. He can't do this to me! My sister's dead, my home is burnt down. He knows he's all I've got.
I thought he cared. At least he believed me when I said I've been in a car crash, not when that nurse was looking at me strange and asking all those questions. I thought Dillion understood me. He did that night my sister died. He knew I had no one else left in the world for me. He let me go home with him. I lay there on the sofa, in one of his shirts feeling so grateful to him. At the same time I missed my sister and the nights effects were taking its toll on me. I couldn't stop crying that night but he sat there beside me and listened to all I said. When I crept into his room the next morning and did what I did he forgave me. I didn't think I would be able to look at him anymore. When he gave me that little talk later he actually managed to make me feel better and that it wasn't really my fault. At that time I thought he was great, to be as understanding as he was about my situation. I don't know what I would have done if he had thrown me out then. I would have been hysterical with no where to go and no one to turn to.
I'm being shown around the hostel now. All I can think about is Dillion, about how I shouldn't be here. I want him to come back. I don't like it here. There's no room. At least when I was with him I had some space and we could talk about stuff. I bet they will throw me out as soon as they can. I don't like the people here; there's a guy across the table giving me a really funny look and he's really scaring me. If only he could see this and then he could apologies about how stupid he was to even think about letting me stay here. Dillion was always kind to me. So was my sister. God, I really miss her! She shouldn't have died the way she did that night!
I'm in my room alone now. My mind is going through this morning again. This isn't home, not in the same way as Dillion's. He says it's going to be okay but somehow I don't think it will be. Where is he? I'm looking out the window and I want him to come back and change his mind. I can't cope. Not without him.
It's been a few hours now. Somehow I think he's not going to come back. I think I'm going to have to go to him.
~ Gemma leaving Holby ~
He can't promise to check up on me later. I can't go back there now. He couldn't help me this time. There's only one place I can go and that isn't the hostel! I can't live there I need Dillion. I need his help because I'm so alone and scared. He doesn't care enough if he says he'll help me later. He can't, he just can't. He just doesn't know how much I need him.
I'm tearing myself up inside. I don't know what to do anymore. I just want Dillion. Is that too much to ask for?
A/N: I had to do this. It was really bugging me! Personally I think Gemma was obsessed with Dillion but grieving at the same time, so there's your reason for repetitive use of his name!
I don't believe this. I need Dillion and here we are, outside of the hostel. He can't do this to me! My sister's dead, my home is burnt down. He knows he's all I've got.
I thought he cared. At least he believed me when I said I've been in a car crash, not when that nurse was looking at me strange and asking all those questions. I thought Dillion understood me. He did that night my sister died. He knew I had no one else left in the world for me. He let me go home with him. I lay there on the sofa, in one of his shirts feeling so grateful to him. At the same time I missed my sister and the nights effects were taking its toll on me. I couldn't stop crying that night but he sat there beside me and listened to all I said. When I crept into his room the next morning and did what I did he forgave me. I didn't think I would be able to look at him anymore. When he gave me that little talk later he actually managed to make me feel better and that it wasn't really my fault. At that time I thought he was great, to be as understanding as he was about my situation. I don't know what I would have done if he had thrown me out then. I would have been hysterical with no where to go and no one to turn to.
I'm being shown around the hostel now. All I can think about is Dillion, about how I shouldn't be here. I want him to come back. I don't like it here. There's no room. At least when I was with him I had some space and we could talk about stuff. I bet they will throw me out as soon as they can. I don't like the people here; there's a guy across the table giving me a really funny look and he's really scaring me. If only he could see this and then he could apologies about how stupid he was to even think about letting me stay here. Dillion was always kind to me. So was my sister. God, I really miss her! She shouldn't have died the way she did that night!
I'm in my room alone now. My mind is going through this morning again. This isn't home, not in the same way as Dillion's. He says it's going to be okay but somehow I don't think it will be. Where is he? I'm looking out the window and I want him to come back and change his mind. I can't cope. Not without him.
It's been a few hours now. Somehow I think he's not going to come back. I think I'm going to have to go to him.
~ Gemma leaving Holby ~
He can't promise to check up on me later. I can't go back there now. He couldn't help me this time. There's only one place I can go and that isn't the hostel! I can't live there I need Dillion. I need his help because I'm so alone and scared. He doesn't care enough if he says he'll help me later. He can't, he just can't. He just doesn't know how much I need him.
I'm tearing myself up inside. I don't know what to do anymore. I just want Dillion. Is that too much to ask for?
A/N: I had to do this. It was really bugging me! Personally I think Gemma was obsessed with Dillion but grieving at the same time, so there's your reason for repetitive use of his name!