Bathroom Wars

By the Fellowship of the R.O.W.

Disclaimer: We realized that we never put disclaimers…ok here it is. We do not own anything here except the plot and, of course, our characters.

As/N: Yuki Hello. Ever wonder why I always appear in the Author's notes? Well, I'm the one typing it all! Manual labor 'to people! Oh yeah, if it's messy, it's because there are 5 different people writing.

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"Vacuum!" Fukuda yelled. Sendoh grabbed onto a pillar, knowing what was coming next.

"It's getting a bit windy, don't you think?" an English man observed.

A screaming was heard as the wind blew even harder. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!" Dorothy ran around, screaming her guts out as Toto followed her. "I don't wanna go back! I don't wanna go back!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" she screamed, going insane.

"Dammit Dorothy!" Nayomi yelled over the howling wind. "SHUT UP!!!" (casts Death)

"I don't wanna go back (10x)!" Dorothy screeched really fast.

Jack the Ripper appeared through the floor and impaled the screaming…er…wench.

"Yes!" cried Nayomi. "She's dead!"

"We can use that new funeral pyre I got!" Hoshi said excitedly, pressing a button on her bracelet. A funeral pyre suddenly appeared beside the arena, and pixies took Dorothy's body and laid it on the pyre.

*BAM*

The pixies all fell to the floor in a heap. Mikara swooped down from the shadows, brandishing her colt .45 long barrel. "Damn munchkins. Too pesky, too annoying and way too pink."

"Well," sighed Akai, finally waking up. "At lest we don't have to pay them."

"Who hired these things in the first place???"

"I did!" Nayomi said proudly.

"By the way," Akai piped in, scratching her head. "Where the heck is Yuki?"

They looked around to see her under Soujiro Seta's chair, shaking like hell, looking pale---er than usual. Yuki: Heehee…Soujiro…

Soujiro was looking concerned. "What's wrong, Yuki-chan?"

"P-p-p-pink---"

She fainted.

"I was going to use them as shooti---Ack!" Nayomi was still explaining before she was blown away by Fukuda's "Vacuum". She grabbed her microphone and said into it, "Fukuda is still doing his counter attack!"

"Dammit! Yamette! It's too much! SILENCE!" Hoshi said (more like screamed), making Fukuda silent. The spell dissolved and the wind grew weaker. "That was entirely uncalled for! The effects of a spell must not go beyond the arena!" (Nayomi falls back to the ground)

"Darn!" said Akai. "This fight is going to destroy our stadium! Our budget!" She picked up her trusty basketball – "Here's to you, Mr. Fukuda" – Then chucked it at him. The basketball was promptly sucked up by Fukuda while he was sucking up more air for his next attack, and Fukuda choked and died.

"Uh…" Mikara sweatdropped. "And the winner is SENDOH!"

Sendoh: *smiley smiley*

Kogure snapped his fingers in disappointment. "Damn, my creation lost!"

"That's okay sempai," Hoshi said, "you've got lots to spare!"

"LIKE ME!" chirped in Legato Yuki: Read Mikara's Anime Academy Awards Chapter 2 for info on Legato. happily, swooping out of the pandimension and glomping Kogure immediately. "Ne, ne, Kogure-san?" Hoshi: Which Legato? Mikara: No S

"Get off!!!" Nayomi shrieked. Legato felt a sudden pull as Nayomi yanked her off her beloved Kogure. She landed near Soujiro's chair, causing a shockwave, waking Yuki up.

"WHAT THE - ?" Yuki screamed Nayomi: OMG, she screamed!. "PINK?! PINK?! WHERE'S THAT HIDEOUS COLOR?!" Forgetting she was under Soujiro's chair, she stood up and…er…you know what happened next. Ouchies for both of them…

"Ow," Yuki said, touching the lump on her forehead. "That…DIDN'T HURT! HAHAHA!"

"Anyway," Mikara started. The crowd was still recovering from the "Vacuum" attack. "Let's have our next match! Please welcome our next contenders, FUJIMA VS MAKI!"

"What?! Fujima?! Doko?!" Hoshi yelled, jumping off the stage thingy and running out.

Mikara stopped whatever she was doing and looked up. "Woo hoo…this should be interesting."

Yuki grinned. "I know Mole-boy's weakness," she said coolly. Ignoring Hoshi, Fujima quickly ran to Yuki, shaking her by the collars.

"What's his weakness?!?!" he said, shaking her harder. He immediately stopped though, receiving Yuki's 'Shake-me-again-and-I-swear-you-won't-see-daylight-ever-again-…-not-to-mention-you're-gonna-have-pimples-in-your-back' look. Fujima's eyes goggled.

"Give me a good reason why I should tell you."

"Well," he leaned in closer (but not too close. He doesn't want to have frostbite), "To impress the ladies, duh."

She snickered. "Like hell as if I'd tell you! Let Maki enter…NOW! (lighning strikes)," Yuki yelled, shoving the point guard away.

A cloaked figure creeped closer. "Pssst, Fujima."

"Hmm?" Fujima looked around to see a shadowy figure near the corner.

"Wanna know his weakness?" it hissed.

Fujima, extremely delighted, answered, "YEAH!"

"It's gonna cost you, though." It came closer and extended its hand.

"How much?"

"Oh…about 1,000 bucks."

"Deal!" Fujima said as he dealt out the cash.

"Ok, this is it (whisper whisper)."

"No way!"

"(Whisper x2)"

"Really?!"

"(Whisper x2)"

"Ha ha ha! Okay, got it!" Fujima went straight to the arena. (Yuki went near Fujima. "Pay us another 1,000 bucks for wasting fic space.")

The cloaked figure, er…uncloaked itself to reveal Nayomi. "He he he…"

Back at the ringside, Mikara and Hoshi were lousing around, waiting for the fight to begin. Mikara leaned on the arena's top.

"I sorta get the feeling that this is going to be a match to remember."

"Why?"

"Dunno. But I'm really excited more than usual. Anyhow, LK (yo) N-han!"

"What?" Nayomi said.

"Are you done with whatever it was that you said you had to do that was so important that you and Yuki asked me to delay the match until you came back and told me that you were done with whatever it was that you said you had to do that was so important because Maki's getting irritated and Fujima looks excited and I don't want to waste this golden opportunity when the captains of two rival teams, numbers 1 and 2 in the Kanagawa prefecture go against each other and I don't think the audience would want to miss this golden opportunity either???"

"WHAT???"

"I said, C'N I START THE MATCH NOW???"

"Alright already!!!" Nayomi replied.

"And for our next contenders…we are pleased to present…FUJIMA KENJI!!!"

The crowd went wild, with hoots and cheers and yells and wavings of all sorts of banners and fingers Mikara: Not their middle ones, doofus.. The ambulance team was hard-pressed, what with all the screaming, pitching and fainting fan girls. Mikara smiled widely. She liked being a referee.

"And please welcome…MAKI SHINICHI!!!"

Dead silence (except for Yuki's uncontrollable laughing).

Mikara sweatdropped. "Uh…one more time…MAKI SHINICHI!!!"

Still no reaction from the spectators. When they were once almost a riot at the sound of Fujima's name, now they were silent and unmoving. Only the paramedics were as frantic as ever, because at the sound of Maki's name more than half of the fainting R.F.G.s went into cardiac arrest.

"Uh…ok, START THE MATCH!!!"

The bell struck. Mikara stood in between the two contenders, and winced at Maki's poisonous breath, which he had been emitting while grunting. "Now you two," she said in an undertone, "the last thing these people want is a nice, clean fair fight, so do anything and everything you impossibly can to win, got that?" She winked at the R.O.W. members. The two contestants looked dubious so she motioned over her shoulder.

They could see screaming, punching, kicking, redfaced fans as far as the eye could see, yelling for blood, guts and gore, recovered fangirls having catfights over front-row seats and quickly growing mosh pits scattered all over the stadium. Maki sweatdropped, Fujima sighed (he was used to it) and Mikara took out her whistle.

"Three…Two…One…GO!"

A/N: READ AND REVIEW!!!