Sailor Moon: Beautiful Dreams

Prologue

Sailor Mars does not know why she is here, or where "here" is, for that matter. She knows nothing of what she was doing only moments ago. As if she had somehow just awakened to this pale and dreary world. All around her, in every direction, she saw utter lifelessness. Not so much death, as anti-life itself. The buildings, the cars, the sky, all seemingly devoid of any life, color, or movement. There are no trees or plant life to be seen anywhere. No signs on any buildings or on any street corners. She only now notices that there is no wind, not even the slightest movement of air around her. As though even the air itself had died. She imagined that even if she were to look, she would not even find an insect anywhere in a thousand miles, or if she had a microscope, even the slightest trace of bacteria. The entire world, for as far as the eye could see, had been utterly and completely sterilized. Her footsteps on the asphalt of the street as she walked was the only sound she could here. She looked up, and was not surprised by what she saw. The sky was a colorless, gray, haze. Endless and eternal. It said a great deal about this world. Mars wondered if this was the past, or the future. She wondered if it was Earth, or some alien world. She dreaded the very idea that this might be her home, but she didn't recognize anything. She wondered if what had happened here had been the result of some horrible weapon used, something that could not only wipe out every form of life on a planet, but the heart and soul of a planet as well.

Through the haze in the distance, Mars' eyes begin to focus on a shape. As she nears it, she can now make out what it is. A large cross, planted in the middle of a large intersection. The sky is so hazy that she can not make out the details of it, so she continues to walk. She comes to realize what a terribly lonely sound her footsteps are, when they are seemingly the only sounds in the world. She blinks and now finds herself instantly standing before it. The mammoth, steel cross stands at least twenty feet tall, and Sailor Mars feels her heart ache when she looks up and meets Usagi's gaze. Metal spikes have been driven through her wrists, holding her to the structure, and her her entire body scourged and bleeding. Rivulets of red, the only color in this entire grey world, run down the metal structure to pool at its base.

"Usagi..." Mars speaks, barely above a whisper. Her voice cracking from the pain of the sight before her. Tears begin to well up in her eyes. Nothing, no horror she had ever encountered in her life could have prepared her for the sight of her dearest friend in such a manner.

"Rei-chan... " Usagi says in a voice barely audible from its weakness. "...why... why did they do this to me?" Blood pours out of her mouth and tears from her eyes as she speaks the words.

"Who... who did this to you?" Mars asks, the tears now flowing freely down her cheeks. Mars sees Usagi's eyes focusing on something behind her. Instinctively, Mars turns to face who or whatever it is. She sees, and feels, only the blade of a burning sword being driven through her body, setting her on fire from the inside.

Rei's eyes bolted open as she lay on her bed in the relative safety her bedroom. She did not scream. Her body, for several seconds, was paralyzed. All she could see was the ceiling above her and all she could feel was the horrible pain in her stomach where the dream-sword had run her though. Little by little, other sensations slowly became aware to her. Her hand was shaking slightly. The sweat that coated her entire body felt clammy, and there were tears starting to form around her eyes. For several seconds she cried. Slowly, she swallowed hard, and moved her arms behind her to tilt herself upright. It was a slow and delicate process, as a part of her was still wondering if she was alive and where, exactly, she was. She attempted to stand up and recoiled slightly from the dull ache in her stomach. She pulled her nightgown up and looked. As expected, there was no sign of any injury, just a phantom pain. Looking around her, she finally sat back down on the side of her bed and wiped the tears from her face.

"Just... just a dream." She finally said.

No, she thought. Not just a dream. Her body was still shaking slightly. She rarely remembered dreams more than a few minutes after she had awakened. The image of Usagi, bleeding and crucified, as well as the pain and shock of her own death, would be etched into her mind for some time.

Upon remembering the image, she cried for several minutes more.

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Sailor Moon: Beautiful Dreams - Chapter 1

By Captain Zefram Man

Sailor moon, the Sailor Senshi, and all related characters are TM and copyright their respective owners, who aren't me. This story and all parts there of are mine alone are and protected by copyright law. This story may not be reposted without the express permission of the author (except for Mystery Science Theater purposes), namely me, so please ask first.

Note: This story takes place after Super S and does not include Stars in the continuity. Sorry, I was determined to write this and I won't be seeing the fifth season for some time.

This fic is rated PG-13

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." - Unknown

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Tsukino Usagi quietly slept in her own bed, dreaming of being in her lover's arms.

"Mamo-chan." She said, smiling a playful grin as she slept.

The black cat drearily looked up at the sound. Yawning, she blinked and looked over at the clock on the nightstand.

"Four AM?" Luna said to herself. "I'll never get back to sleep now." Luna, in the slim hope that sleep might still reclaim her, though, lay back down on the foot of the bed. Only to be startled awake again by a beeping coming from the nightstand. She looked up to see Usagi, only half-asleep, answer the call.

"Mamo-chan." Usagi slurred.

"Usagi?" the voice from the communicator asked. It was Rei.

Usagi rolled over and the communicator slid from her hand and fell to the floor.

"Usagi? USAGI?" Rei's voice quickly filled with panic.

"Rei-chan, what's wrong?" Luna's voice responded. She was now seated in front of the communicator and whispered to avoid waking Usagi from her dream. At least one of us should get a full night of sleep tonight, she thought.

"Luna?" Rei asked. "What happened? Is Usagi there, is she all right?"

"She's asleep, what on Earth is wrong, Rei-chan?" Luna yawned again.

Rei considered her words. "N... nothing, Luna. I'm... I'm sorry if I woke you up." She switched off the communicator before Luna could persist.

Luna sat for a moment, and now began to do what she was seemingly best at... worry.

*******

The next morning found one Tenoh Haruka in her apartment in the city. She sat at the window in her pajamas, looking out over the glass and steel landscape. She sipped her coffee and, for a moment, enjoyed the sound of nothing. Michiru stepped out early to do some shopping and decided to let Haruka sleep in. Although there was little, if anything, that Haruka enjoyed more than simply being with Michiru, she still liked a moment where the only voice was that of the wind in the open window. The sound of the doorbell woke Haruka from the zen-like state she had drifted into. Tossing on a robe, she opened the door to find Hino Rei.

"Er... Rei-chan?" Haruka said. It was the first time she'd known any of the other senshi had come to visit, especially at such an early hour.

"Haruka-san, I'm sorry to come like this uninvited, but I really needed to talk with someone."

"No, it's all right." Over the years, Haruka and Michiru had learned to read each other to a point where they scarcely needed words to convey their feelings. She knew just from the look in Rei's eyes, the tone of her voice, that something was bothering her. She sat on the sofa opposite of Rei and asked what was wrong. She listened intently as Rei, in terrible detail, recalled the events of her dream. Haruka didn't know Rei as well as the others did, but she had heard about her abilities to see the future. If it weren't for the visions she and Michiru had had of The Silence approaching last year, she would never have believed in such things. Suddenly remembering that she was a reincarnated warrior from a kingdom on the moon, she quickly put what was left of her skepticism in a box and hid it in a corner of her mind. "Have... you told Odango or the others about this?" Haruka asked, using the pet-name she had for Usagi.

"Not yet. We are all going to meet at the shrine later so I figured I would tell them then." Rei said with some difficulty. "And... I don't think I could bring myself to tell Usagi... the details."

"But... you told me." Haruka, more as a statement of fact than anything.

"I knew that you and Michiru... that you might understand what it meant better than the others would." She looked up at Haruka. "You've seen the kind of visions that I have before, the kind of death and destruction, I was wondering if... you might know what any of it might mean."

"No, I can't really be sure." Haruka said, shaking her head. Rei had obviously come here because she saw her and Michiru as a source of strength, an image they do their best to convey in battle. She wasn't about to reveal just how badly the details of the dream had shaken her. She was grateful that she hadn't seen what Rei had.

*******

That day, as expected, found all five girls and both cats in the den of Rei's home. Rei was still waiting for the right moment to tell them a new enemy might be approaching.

"So what does he look like?" Minako asked.

"Is he handsome?" Usagi pressed.

"Who?" Rei asked.

"Ami's pen-pal on the internet." Usagi said.

"A russian chess player, they play each other on-line." Minako continued.

"I don't know, honestly, I've never seen him." Ami defensively said.

"If he's russian, then maybe he looks like Micheal Barishnikof." Makoto dreamily said.

"Or a great bear." Rei interjected.

The image of a stereotypical three hundred pound Russian with a thick, black beard cuddling Ami almost sent the entire room on it's ear. Luna, nursing a rather large headache, finally decided to intervene.

"ENOUGH ALREADY!!!"

The entire room froze and all eyes turned to look at Luna.

"This is no time for games, I asked all of you here on a very serious matter." Luna said curtly.

"Wha... what's wrong Luna?" Makoto asked.

"Is it the new enemy?" Minako asked, ready for action now and with no trace of the levity present only moments ago.

Rei almost spilled her tea.

"It's a situation I've feared the approach of for many months, and one I fear we are not prepared for. What is now coming may be the greatest challenge that you have ever had to face, and I fear that it may be impossible. From what I see here, you may not be able to handle it.

Artemis winced. He had never known Luna to sound so serious, or the girls to ever be unprepared for a challenge. Whatever Luna was talking about, he could see the girls were now visibly afraid.

"No, I won't accept that." Rei said defiantly. "You know that whatever happens, Luna, the Sailor Senshi will always be ready to fight with all our hearts to win."

"That's right!" Makoto said. "Whatever this great challenge is, we can win, Luna."

"Luna." Usagi began. "What could possibly be so terrible that you think we can't handle it, especially after all we've been through? What could be worse than the Dark Kingdom, The Black Moon, The Death Busters, and The Dead Moon Circus?"

Luna sighed. "I fear this will be more difficult than facing any of the enemies you've had up to this point." Luna said gravely.

All of the senshi fell silent as Luna continued. They leaned in closer...

"We must now prepare for what may be the impossible itself."

... and closer...

"We must help Usagi pass final exams."

... and fell flat on their faces.

"LUNA!!! How could you possibly make such a big deal about that!?!?" Usagi cried in protest.

"It was very easy after I saw your last report card." The cat said deadpanly.

Usagi fell on the floor again. "Ack... you're heartless!" She whimpered.

All the senshi were still recovering from Luna's joke. None of them would complain about her being too serious anytime soon. Ami was simply thankful she wasn't in the spotlight anymore.

Luna jumped on Usagi's chest and yelled right in her face. "This isn't a joke, Usagi! What will your parents say if you fail your final exams?"

Minako replied in a perfect imitation of Usagi's mother. "Oh Kenji! Our daughter has brought such terrible shame on all our family. From now on you will have to go to work, and I shopping, with bags over our heads... or a "mask of shame" like Zechs Marquis."

Rei continued in an impression of Usagi's father. "What, like you were surprised, Ikoku?"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!" Usagi cried. "I don't want my family to wear masks of shame!!!"

"Except Shingo and Chibi-Usa." Rei said. They'll just go on calling you "Bakka-Usagi", only this time they'll have the proof to back it up when you get back the test results.

Usagi was crying even more now, and it was easily the loudest she had cried in years. Rei's grandfather suddenly burst in. "What in the Kamis' name is happening here?"

"Nothing, grampa." Rei said, defensively. "We're telling Usagi what will happen if she fails her high school entrance exam. I haven't gotten to the part about her being eaten by hungry ghosts yet."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!" Usagi glomped onto Rei's grandfather and started crying into his robes. "I don't want to be eaten by hungry ghosts!"

"REI-CHAN!" Grandfather Hino said disapprovingly to his granddaughter, who was trying not to laugh herself unconscious. Grampa turned to the wailing girl. "Usagi, no ghosts are going to eat you if you fail the exam."

Usagi's crying slowed to a few sniffles.

"Now you're ancestors are another story, they might haunt you out of the shame you brought them. But you can always find refuge here and become an acolyte." Grampa said.

"Assuming you're not forced into prostitution to make ends meet." Rei replied.

Usagi turned blue and passed out. Ami sprayed her tea on Minako, the other senshi and cats sweatdropped, and Grandfather Hino shot Rei a most disapproving look while Rei herself smiled innocently.

*******

In a large room, hewn of living stone, the image of a man appeared. His long, green hair offsetting the tan and grey uniform he wore. He and his two comrades, also present via magical projection, looked up at a throne, also carved from the same grey stone as the room, where a woman sat. Her skin was grey, and her hair a deep violet. She was dressed plainly, in a cloak and leathers. To her sides were two blue-skinned women. One, quite powerfully built and wearing light armor, the other, more slight of build and much less imposing.

"Malech, tell me, how goes the plan?" The woman on the throne asked, her voice resonating a great strength.

"It proceeds as we speak, M'Lady." The green-haired man replied. "The dimensional fabric will be breached soon."

"Excellent. I see that your reputations were not exaggerated after all." She said as she smiled slightly. "Continue, Malach, and force open the way to the Earth Realm for us."

"I also have news from the mages' lab." He continued "The experiment is ready to begin."

"You were successful then?"

"We believe so. If this works, your shortage of... manpower, will no longer be a consideration." He replied. "I will be waiting just outside the location to confirm success. Barring interference, all should go as planned."

The woman smiled. "Excellent, proceed."

In the center of the shopping mall, a janitor quietly went about his work making sure everything was tidy for when the stores opened. Had he looked more closely at the "Spicy Chikan" stand, he would not have noticed the invisible, imperceptible hole being forced open in the dimensional barrier that separated this world from others.

*******

Luna almost went into a fury when Usagi suggested going to the mall, but Makoto diffused the situation saying it would be the last chance they got for a month. Rei was uneasy, but none of the others seemed to notice. There were far too many things that caught everyones' eye and Rei decided that if she told them about her dream, it would only distract Usagi when she needed to focus more than ever. Rei decided to enjoy her time here with the others as best she could and hope her nightmare had been only that.

It wasn't long before Usagi stopped at a display of a video game store. "Oh Minako-chan." she called in a musical voice.

"Hmm... what? What is it?"

Usagi moved and Minako's jaw gaped at the site. "What the... They licensed Sailor V as a character in a martial arts fighting game?!?!"

"WOW! COOL!!!." Makoto said.

"I wonder if you have a Fatality Move?" Usagi asked, deliberately ribbing Minako.

"I bet it's something nasty." Makoto replied. "Like using your Crescent Beam to decapitate someone."

Minako was crying. "It's not fair! This is a tragedy! If they're going to destroy the good name of Sailor V they could at least PAY ME ROYALTIES!!!"

Everyone fell over this time.

"I'm going to go play!!!" Usagi chimed, running into the store.

"OH NO! Don't you dare, Usagi!" Minako said as she followed Usagi in.

"I want to be player two!" Makoto said as she followed them in.

Rei and Ami both sighed as they walked in after them. Usagi and Makoto were both playing the display game as Minako watched Usagi fail to block Makoto's attack. She looked on in horror as her likeness was disemboweled, decapitated, chopped into pieces, and then burned into charcoal by Makoto's character.

"FLAWLESS VICTORY... FATALITY!" The game's evil-sounding voice declared.

"I can't stand it." Minako cried, turning pale. "You could at least try to win, Usagi!"

"Don't blame me." Usagi whined. "Mako-chan has more practice at these kinds of games."

Minako looked to Makoto, who was smiling and giving the V sign. "That's it, out of the way! Okay Mako-chan, PREPARE TO DIE!!!" She said.

As the deathmatch continued in the background, Ami sighed and looked for some language software while Rei found herself lost in her own thoughts. Maybe it was just a dream, she thought to herself. The world she had seen was impossible, wasn't it? She wondered if the images were merely subjective, and represented something else. Haruka had told her that she and Michiru would keep their eyes open, and be there to help if anything happened that the other senshi, alone, couldn't handle. It was at least somewhat comforting, but she still worried.

"Rei-chan?!"

"W... what?" Rei was suddenly startled back into reality by Usagi's voice.

"You looked like you were staring off into space." Usagi said. "Thinking about Yuuichirou again?"

Uh oh, the other senshi collectively thought.

"I WAS NOT..." Rei paused. "No, I wasn't." Her tone having softened.

"Whew!" The other girls sighed in relief.

"I was thinking of Mamoru." Rei said, with a sly grin.

Uh oh, the others once again thought. Now it was going to get ugly.

"WAAAAH! Stop thinking of my Mamo-chan!" Usagi wailed chasing Rei through the mall.

"Oh no, we're going to get thrown out if they keep this up." Ami sighed.

*******

"I can't understand it." The owner said to his friend. "I thought for sure in this location I'd get more business."

"Might have something to do with how you spelled "chicken" on the sign."

"Huh? You think that's it?"

He didn't bother mentioning to his friend that the way he had misspelled chicken in "romanji" was actually pronounced the same as the the japanese word for a man who molests girls on a train. He had had more than his fair share of mangled "engrish", as some Americans liked to put it, in the store where he worked. He quietly shook his head at the memory of the "come in and sheet yourself" bedspread sale they had had last week.

While both men were turned away, the hole that had been steadily widening finally opened to the point where it would allow passage by the item sent through. A small, egg-like, object fell from mid-air and disappeared into a small oven and into the roasting chicken inside it.

The two men looked up to see two girls running by, one chasing the other. The girl in the lead stuck her tongue out and razzed the one pursuing her.

"Man, what is this country coming to?" He asked. "Every day I see kids losing more and more manners and respect."

"I blame it on a combination of American television and sugar." the second man said.

Within moments, the oven began to shake uncontrollably, attracting both mens' attention.

"What the Hell?" The owner said. "No, c'mon baby, don't break down on me now!"

"I told you you'd regret it if you bought that piece of junk!"

"Don't listen to him, sweety! I know you're a good oven! Stay good! Please?!?!"

The oven started to shake even more violently.

"I think we better move away."

"What?" The owner asked. "It's an electric oven, not gas. It's not like it's going to..."

Rei, Usagi, and everyone else in the vicinity turned to the sound of the explosion. Standing in the middle of what was once The Spicy Chikan, now stood a monster of indescribable... strangeness.

"W... what the hell is that?!?!" The owner, his face scuffed, but undamaged, said.

"Where did you buy that oven? Chernobyl?" The friend asked, helping his friend to get away.

Malech suddenly appeared. "Oh good, it finally awakened." He looked at the result of the experiment. It wasn't what he had expected. "What the...?"

Standing in the pile of debris, the creature bore an unmistakable resemblance to a roast chicken. It's legs were vaguely human in shape, but it's skin was a golden brown and covered in greasy sauce. Instead of arms, it had a pair of useless, featherless, wings that twitched. All that in itself wouldn't have surprised Malech had the creature not been missing one important feature. It's head. Where its neck should have began, there was only a cavity filled with stuffing. It started to turn back and forth, as if looking for something.

The creature raised to its full height, and with a puny wing raised in the air, cried out...

"All of you fear me... for I... AM... CHIKAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!"

All the girls in the mall that were watching sweatdropped.

"Disgusting !"

"Ewww!"

"Probably some stupid adult video promotion."

"Somebody call mall security."

The monster sweatdropped. It had expected to hear more running and screaming.

Malech quietly wondered what he had done to deserve this. "You there, we have work to do!" he commanded. What the hell are you doing?"

The golden-browned Frankenstein turned toward the sound of its master's voice, but kept turning as if it couldn't find him.

"What the HELL is wrong with you?" He was now almost shouting. "Are you blind or something?"

The creature raised its greasy chicken wings to where its head should have been, but felt nothing but empty space. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! What happened to my head?!?!" It screamed, though, without a mouth, it was anyone's guess how.

Malech fell over. He sat up and started rubbing the bridge of his nose, trying to ease the terrible migraine that was slowly developing. The creature, in a literal blind panic, started running around the mall like the figurative chicken with its head cut off and screaming. It ran into walls, displays, and customers alike. Malech, meanwhile, continued to rub his temples. "So much for a successful experiment."

After a moment, the chicken returned with the head of a manikin sticking out of its neck cavity. "Eh, boss. You think this brings out my color?" It asked.

"I think that's more than enough for today." Malech said, as he worked to open the doorway home. He'd let the sages examine the results for themselves and find out what went wrong.

"Hold it right there!!!"

Malech and the marinated monster both turned to the voice's origin. Before them stood Sailor Moon and the other four senshi.

"You who interrupt happiness and peoples' shopping on weekends, in the name of..."

"MARS... FLAME... SNIPER!!!"

Malech leaped out of the way with only the smallest fraction of a second to spare as the flamimg arrow struck Chikan square in the chest. The creature exploded in a ball of fire and a hail of burnt chicken bits... and one mannequin head. "Lovely." Malech groaned. "I should have known this would happen." Not willing to stay around and fight, he raised his hand and disappeared.

"Mars!!!" Usagi said in a somewhat whiny tone. "What was the idea of stepping on my line like that?"

"I... I'm sorry." Mars said, looking over the destruction. "I guess I panicked and jumped the gun a bit. I didn't expect the monster to be so... well... weak."

"Yeah... no kidding." Jupiter said. "That was almost too easy!"

"Don't jinx it, Jupiter." Venus admonished. "Best not to count our blessings before they're hatched."

Jupiter sweatdropped. "Err... you mean chickens."

"What?!?!" Venus started looking in different directions. "There's more of them?"

The others fell over.

"Everybody, I think we'd better get out of here." Mercury said. With that, the senshi left.

The stand owner, who had been watching the whole thing, turned to his friend, plucking a piece of the monster chicken out of his hair. "And I only had sixteen more payments to make on that oven." He looked at the piece for a moment and proceeded to eat it.

"Eeeeegh... that's disgusting!" The friend said, making a face. "And it's probably radioactive, too."

He spit the piece out and wiped his mouth. "Hmm... kinda tastes like...."

"Don't say it."

Off on the other side of the mall, where a crowd of bystanders had gathered to watch the short battle, Haruka and Michiru were both standing.

"This couldn't have been what Rei-chan predicted, could it?" Michiru asked.

"No." Haruka replied. "Either this was only the tip of a very big iceberg, or something completely different has just popped up. In any case, it's over for now." With that, both girls quietly left.

*******

Later that night found the "inner" senshi, including Chibi-Usa, and the cats gathered in the den of Rei's house. Rei had told everyone about the dream she had had, minus some of the most graphic details. Usagi had received the information about as well as could be expected.

"Are you sure you weren't just watching too much late-night TV, Rei-chan?"

For Usagi, that is.

"That's you, Bakka-Usagi, not Rei-chan." Chibi-Usa pointed out... "OW!" ... right before being pinched by Usagi. Soon, a pinching war was on between the two.

"Rei-chan," Minako began. "why did you go to Haruka and Michiru's before coming to us?"

"I... before The Silence was upon us, I was having dreams about the end of the world. I kept them to myself hoping I could figure out what they meant, but we were attacked by the first Daimon almost that day." Rei paused. "I didn't want to take a chance, so before I came to meet with everyone I went to Haruka and Michiru to ask them if they had felt anything. They knew about the approaching Silence long before I did, so I thought that they might know something."

"Did they?" Ami asked.

"No." Rei said, somewhat downcast in her expression. "Haruka said that they hadn't noticed or felt anything out of the ordinary."

"That doesn't entirely surprise me." Luna stated. "The Outer Senshi were specifically empowered to guard against threats from outside the solar system, such as the Deathbusters."

"So if there's a threat now," Artemis began. "It's from our own back yard."

Luna turned back to Rei. "At least now I know why you sounded so worried last night."

"It doesn't make any sense, though." Makoto said. "Rei said she had seen an entire city, maybe the entire world dead. Could it really be cause by the ones who sent that thing earlier?"

"It can't be coincidence, can it?" Ami asked.

"Ami-chan is right." Luna stated. "Better to overestimate our enemies than underestimate them."

"Usagi..." Minako began. "... what do you think?"

"Yes you do!" Chibi-Usa yelled. " I saw you with your face glued to the TV during that scene with the cup in Evangelion!"

Rei fell over. It was going to be a long night.

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Next chapter...

More light is shed on the mysterious enemies as two massive armies clash in a battle for supremacy in a dying, forgotten world. Meanwhile, the senshi prepare Usagi, and themselves, for final exams, but the enemy has plans of their own.

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Author's notes:

The first chapter is now done, and I can honestly say, this is the first time I've ever seen a spellcheck program raise a white flag on me. If you have taken the time to read this far, I ask that you send feedback on what you may have liked or disliked about it. Feedback, good or bad, is the lifeblood by which a writer or artist lives (at least when he's not getting paid, that is).

All comments may be sent to...

zefmann9901@aol.com

My website, containing other examples of my work, may be found at...

http://www.geocities.com/captainzman/sailormoon

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Translation Notes:

Senshi basically means soldier or warrior. It does not have a plural form, so when reffering to all the senshi it remains unchanged. Same with youma. Because most of the enemies are not native japanese, they will commonly refer to the senshi as "Sailor Soldier" when talking amongst themselves.

A "chikan" is a pervert who feels up girls on a train, usually because people are so tightly packed together, it's hard to know who's doing it, and the offender can disappear into the crowd.

"Engrish" is a less than flattering term sometimes used in the states to describe the more unusual examples of Japanese using english roman type in various places (usually ads and billboards).

The "cup scene" in Eva is just something you'll have to see (and hear) for yourself, so don't ask.

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Thanks go to...

Naoko Takeuchi, Toei Animation, Studio Chikashitsu, Mountain Dew, VKLL, Pioneer, Golden's Field Guid to Rocks and Minerals, and Macintosh Computers (think different).

Other thanks go to...

Jannelle Himenez, John Biles, and Jeff Hosmer, for writing what would be my very first exposures to fanfiction, and doing a good enough job to inspire me to take up writing. Dean Koontz for writing a novel that could scare the crap out of me. All the guys I "convinced" to help me proofread this story. The guys who made the "Deadlock" strategy game for an alien computer opponent that trash-talks me right before he razes my colony to the ground. The makers of "Master of Orion 2", for a strategy game that lets me live out all my megalomaniacal universe-destroying fantasies in a game, thus saving innocent alien armadas the possibility of me going out into space and doing it for real. The guy(s) that invented the internet, you rule.