"About a Girl"
Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me; I'm just borrowing
them for a short period of time.
Show: Once and Again
Pairing: Jessie/Katie
Rating: PG
Author: Janine
Synopsis: What happens to girl's after their kiss in Jessie's room?
Email: jbstories@h...
Part 9
Jessie rested her head against the car door watching the houses and trees streak by absently, her mind pleasantly blank as they drove quietly to school. At least it was quiet for a while.
"Well?" Grace asked expectantly looking over at Jessie's oblivious form.
"Did I miss something?" Jessie asked tiredly, turning her head to look at Grace. "We weren't talking, so what could you possibly be 'welling'?"
"The dance is on Friday," Grace replied reaching out to play with the radio for a second. "So?" she continued when Jessie didn't reply.
"So what?" Jessie asked sighing deeply as she turned to look at Grace once more.
"Are you going?" Grace asked slowly, carefully pronouncing each word as if she thought that Jessie needed to get hooked on phonics.
"No," Jessie responded drawing her word out as painfully slowly as Grace had.
"Why not?" Grace asked scowling at her as she rounded a corner.
"Why do you care?" Jessie asked irritably turning her attention back the passing scenes outside the window. Just cause she had asked Grace for advice like once in her whole life it didn't mean that she wanted to talk about everything that had ever happened to her in excruciating detail with the girl.
"I don't," Grace replied in a similarly cranky tone. "Do whatever you want," she continued her tone clearly conveying that she thought that whatever it was Jessie had decided was plainly wrong.
"Fine," Jessie replied standoffishly. "I will."
"Fine," Grace muttered back, leaving the only the low sounds of radio to fill the car. "Why aren't you going?"
"Dances are stupid," Jessie responded. "All everyone ever does is stand around in corners with their friends and make stupid requests to the DJ so that they can go back to the corners with their friends and snicker about it," she continued huffily.
"You don't want anyone to know that you're dating her do you?" Grace accused glancing over Jessie. "That's why you let everyone go on thinking that it's Tad who's calling you in the middle of the night, and why you always shut up whenever mom brings up the dance," she continued gaining steam now. "You don't want to soil you're perfect little image."
"You don't have any idea what you're talking about," Jessie said softly, her tone all serious and vaguely hostile. "You're always going on about how I think I'm so perfect and blah, blah, sour grapes, but you're the one who thinks you're gods gift or something. All knowing, all seeing Grace Manning," she continued softly, her tone bitterly sarcastic. "Sell it to someone else," she went on brushing some hair out of her face. "You're no better at this than I am."
Grace opened her mouth to respond, but then clamped down stopping herself – for once – from saying the first thing that popped into her head. The last thing that she wanted was a repeat of what had happened between them in the bathroom weeks ago. Not only did she not want to see that look on Jessie's face again, she didn't really think that she could sit through another one of Jessie's verbal lashings either.
"You do whatever you want," Grace said quietly as she parked the car and popped the keys out of the ignition. "But she wants to go," she continued getting out of the car and turning on the automatic locks. "*She's* proud of you," she finished closing the door on Jessie who remained seated inside, her eyes following Grace's rapidly retreating figure.
==============================================================
Dr. Rosenfeld's (a.k.a. Therapy)
---------------------------------
"So I guess she's sort of right," Jessie admitted reluctantly. "But she's not right for the reason she thinks she's right for. She just kind of stumbled across a part of right by accident," Jessie mumbled looking over at Dr. Rosenfeld grouchily as if admitting that Grace could be even a little right about anything was on par with being kicked in the crotch.
"So you are a little ashamed of your relationship with Katie?" Dr. Rosenfeld asked, taking off his glasses and wiping them slowly.
"No!" Jessie responded quickly. "It's not … I mean it's more complicated than that. It's just that if they know, about us, they're going to start asking questions and I don't think I have the answers to those questions. I mean, I'm with Katie, and that's great, and I really, really like her. I know that. But I don't know what that means, you know? And they'll want to know, and if I can't tell them then …"
"They'll send you to therapy?" Dr. Rosenfeld asked with a gentle smile, which Jessie returned.
"Do you know what I mean?" she continued a moment later though. "It's like I'm confused about the big picture, the big picture's like a fuzzy dot to me."
"Why do you think you have to worry about the big picture now?" Dr. Rosenfeld asked glasses back on now.
"Because they'll be concerned with the big picture," Jessie responded with a sigh. "And I don't know what to tell them. I like Katie so I'm obviously a little gay. But how gay? Can you measure gay? Am I completely gay, or like gay lite? Just one calorie," she continued slumping in her chair. "I mean, I've heard all of that sexuality is fluid, it's like a colour scale or a pie chart and stuff, but…" she began trailing off, her eyes drifting around the room.
"But what?" Dr. Rosenfeld asked trying to coax her attention back to him.
"I don't think that *they* know that stuff," Jessie replied her eyes crinkling at the corners as her features drew together worriedly.
"You feel like they want something from you that you can't give them?" Dr. Rosenfeld questioned though it was really more of a statement.
"I guess that pretty much sums it up," Jessie replied glumly. "All of it maybe," she continued thinking about that 'perfect' wedding dress her mother had shown her when she was six and had told her she was saving for her 'perfect' wedding.
"Nobody has all the answers Jessie," Dr. Rosenfeld replied watching her carefully. With Jessie you could almost learn more about her from the expressions that flowed across her features than from her words. "No matter what they tell you, or how old or young they are. Except for me," he went on earning a tiny smile for his last crack. "If you wait until you're absolutely a hundred percent certain about something, to talk to your parents about it, then you're all just going to have to get very comfortable playing charades together, because no matter what, no matter when there's always going to be doubts. Nothing is ever one hundred percent. All we can hope for is a sincere belief, and certainty in our hearts if not our heads."
Jessie looked up and over at him upon hearing that, her features relaxing and her eyes clouding over, getting a distant look in them as she considered what he said.
==============================================================
TBC...
Thank you for reading, I hope that you enjoyed it. Comments are very
much welcome and would be GREATLY appreciated, I'm a feedback whore,
enable me … please! :) jbstories@h...
Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me; I'm just borrowing
them for a short period of time.
Show: Once and Again
Pairing: Jessie/Katie
Rating: PG
Author: Janine
Synopsis: What happens to girl's after their kiss in Jessie's room?
Email: jbstories@h...
Part 9
Jessie rested her head against the car door watching the houses and trees streak by absently, her mind pleasantly blank as they drove quietly to school. At least it was quiet for a while.
"Well?" Grace asked expectantly looking over at Jessie's oblivious form.
"Did I miss something?" Jessie asked tiredly, turning her head to look at Grace. "We weren't talking, so what could you possibly be 'welling'?"
"The dance is on Friday," Grace replied reaching out to play with the radio for a second. "So?" she continued when Jessie didn't reply.
"So what?" Jessie asked sighing deeply as she turned to look at Grace once more.
"Are you going?" Grace asked slowly, carefully pronouncing each word as if she thought that Jessie needed to get hooked on phonics.
"No," Jessie responded drawing her word out as painfully slowly as Grace had.
"Why not?" Grace asked scowling at her as she rounded a corner.
"Why do you care?" Jessie asked irritably turning her attention back the passing scenes outside the window. Just cause she had asked Grace for advice like once in her whole life it didn't mean that she wanted to talk about everything that had ever happened to her in excruciating detail with the girl.
"I don't," Grace replied in a similarly cranky tone. "Do whatever you want," she continued her tone clearly conveying that she thought that whatever it was Jessie had decided was plainly wrong.
"Fine," Jessie replied standoffishly. "I will."
"Fine," Grace muttered back, leaving the only the low sounds of radio to fill the car. "Why aren't you going?"
"Dances are stupid," Jessie responded. "All everyone ever does is stand around in corners with their friends and make stupid requests to the DJ so that they can go back to the corners with their friends and snicker about it," she continued huffily.
"You don't want anyone to know that you're dating her do you?" Grace accused glancing over Jessie. "That's why you let everyone go on thinking that it's Tad who's calling you in the middle of the night, and why you always shut up whenever mom brings up the dance," she continued gaining steam now. "You don't want to soil you're perfect little image."
"You don't have any idea what you're talking about," Jessie said softly, her tone all serious and vaguely hostile. "You're always going on about how I think I'm so perfect and blah, blah, sour grapes, but you're the one who thinks you're gods gift or something. All knowing, all seeing Grace Manning," she continued softly, her tone bitterly sarcastic. "Sell it to someone else," she went on brushing some hair out of her face. "You're no better at this than I am."
Grace opened her mouth to respond, but then clamped down stopping herself – for once – from saying the first thing that popped into her head. The last thing that she wanted was a repeat of what had happened between them in the bathroom weeks ago. Not only did she not want to see that look on Jessie's face again, she didn't really think that she could sit through another one of Jessie's verbal lashings either.
"You do whatever you want," Grace said quietly as she parked the car and popped the keys out of the ignition. "But she wants to go," she continued getting out of the car and turning on the automatic locks. "*She's* proud of you," she finished closing the door on Jessie who remained seated inside, her eyes following Grace's rapidly retreating figure.
==============================================================
Dr. Rosenfeld's (a.k.a. Therapy)
---------------------------------
"So I guess she's sort of right," Jessie admitted reluctantly. "But she's not right for the reason she thinks she's right for. She just kind of stumbled across a part of right by accident," Jessie mumbled looking over at Dr. Rosenfeld grouchily as if admitting that Grace could be even a little right about anything was on par with being kicked in the crotch.
"So you are a little ashamed of your relationship with Katie?" Dr. Rosenfeld asked, taking off his glasses and wiping them slowly.
"No!" Jessie responded quickly. "It's not … I mean it's more complicated than that. It's just that if they know, about us, they're going to start asking questions and I don't think I have the answers to those questions. I mean, I'm with Katie, and that's great, and I really, really like her. I know that. But I don't know what that means, you know? And they'll want to know, and if I can't tell them then …"
"They'll send you to therapy?" Dr. Rosenfeld asked with a gentle smile, which Jessie returned.
"Do you know what I mean?" she continued a moment later though. "It's like I'm confused about the big picture, the big picture's like a fuzzy dot to me."
"Why do you think you have to worry about the big picture now?" Dr. Rosenfeld asked glasses back on now.
"Because they'll be concerned with the big picture," Jessie responded with a sigh. "And I don't know what to tell them. I like Katie so I'm obviously a little gay. But how gay? Can you measure gay? Am I completely gay, or like gay lite? Just one calorie," she continued slumping in her chair. "I mean, I've heard all of that sexuality is fluid, it's like a colour scale or a pie chart and stuff, but…" she began trailing off, her eyes drifting around the room.
"But what?" Dr. Rosenfeld asked trying to coax her attention back to him.
"I don't think that *they* know that stuff," Jessie replied her eyes crinkling at the corners as her features drew together worriedly.
"You feel like they want something from you that you can't give them?" Dr. Rosenfeld questioned though it was really more of a statement.
"I guess that pretty much sums it up," Jessie replied glumly. "All of it maybe," she continued thinking about that 'perfect' wedding dress her mother had shown her when she was six and had told her she was saving for her 'perfect' wedding.
"Nobody has all the answers Jessie," Dr. Rosenfeld replied watching her carefully. With Jessie you could almost learn more about her from the expressions that flowed across her features than from her words. "No matter what they tell you, or how old or young they are. Except for me," he went on earning a tiny smile for his last crack. "If you wait until you're absolutely a hundred percent certain about something, to talk to your parents about it, then you're all just going to have to get very comfortable playing charades together, because no matter what, no matter when there's always going to be doubts. Nothing is ever one hundred percent. All we can hope for is a sincere belief, and certainty in our hearts if not our heads."
Jessie looked up and over at him upon hearing that, her features relaxing and her eyes clouding over, getting a distant look in them as she considered what he said.
==============================================================
TBC...
Thank you for reading, I hope that you enjoyed it. Comments are very
much welcome and would be GREATLY appreciated, I'm a feedback whore,
enable me … please! :) jbstories@h...