Well, Hello and welcome to my Little World of Weirdness!
I state for the record that, despite the fact I really, really wish I did, I don't own any of the official characters that will grace this story; it's all CLAMP's! Always has been, always will be! I *DO*, however, own Marcibay Hilligans and Hei-ying Reed!! I also own Mystrasa Kyree, and the dragon isn't mine, it's on loan from my good friend, the Blue Goo! And what the heck . . . I own the mansion as well! [Laughs] Also I don't pretend to have any Mastery over the language of Japanese or any clue as to correct grammatical structure. I put it in and hope it gets across the point I'm trying to make! And I don't pretend to be able to write any sort of accents so please don't hate me!
"Speaking"
*Stress/emphasis*
//Thinking//
In This Tainted Soul . . .
By Dr Megalomania.
Part Eleven: Courage
[Guess what happens when DrM is exposed to too much CCS mp3s . . . and if you know of any good websites with mp3s . . . please share!! But NO midis . . . they are evil . . . not in the good, wholesome DrM way . . . I LOVE PLATINUM!!!]
Clow had ordered a stagecoach to take the trio to the nearby town, it had been a while since they had last been and Clow wanted to get Keroberos used to the idea that there were other people inhabiting the earth. He stared worryingly at Keroberos; the lion had been very quiet since the attempted drowning incident. Clow had tried on several occasions to cheer him up, but even his favourite card, the Sweet, hadn't been able to cheer him up. Every attempt, Clow would catch Keroberos looking at him strangely as if he was confused by Clow's behaviour. Hei-ying was staring out the window, dressed in his depressing robes again. Clow glanced at Keroberos again, the lion held his eyes for a few moments until he looked away.
That . . . hurt.
Clow didn't understand what he had done to make Keroberos . . . he didn't even know what was wrong. Their lessons began to seem like the ones he used to give Hei-ying, after Hilligans, they were lifeless, and heavy. Clow sighed, if Keroberos began to turn into Hei-ying, he would be alone again. Clow squeezed his eyes shut, and swallowed, not willing to let either of his creations see their Master cry. He took an unsteady breath and turned his head to the window, he felt like a failure. He couldn't create anything that would keep him company; maybe he should just give---
"I'm still a kid, and I'm not nearly as powerful as Clow . . ." Clow turned at the sound of his name; the Cardcaptor was standing there, clutching her staff. She stepped forward, and held her hands to him. He realised she wasn't looking at him, she was talking to someone else, but the vision had elected to show him this . . .
She twirled the staff once, and grabbed it decisively, "But I'll work hard at it!"
Clow stepped towards her and tried to grab her hands, "I know you will!" He blurted, "But how can you hope to control the cards, when I have given you such dysfunctional guardians?!"
She smiled, and started to vanish. Clow twirled in the darkness as her voice continued to echo around him, "Rather than being the Mistress . . . the Mistress . . . Mistress . . ."
Clow tripped and fell backwards; he thought he was going to fall into the darkness. "WHOA!!" He cried as he landed on something warm, it jerked him, and he had to grab it's soft fur. Clow gasped as Keroberos smiled happily over his shoulder, the golden lion had a strange hat, or a helmet on, it had a bright red jewel set deep on its crown. He laughed and spread his wings. Keroberos was older, Clow realised //. . .and larger//. Clow laughed as Keroberos beat his wings strongly, he suddenly realised that they were flying, in a sky that was impossibly blue. He grasped the gold fur tightly as Keroberos took him on several high loose loops. "Rather than being the Mistress . . ."
"Ikou yo, ikou yo, ikou yo! Tsubasa hiroge!" Keroberos sang happily, Clow smiled and hugged his sun guardian tightly, the lion was singing a beautiful Japanese song about going flying and spreading wings. Another few loops and Clow realised they were alone anymore, there were more winged creatures flying though the bright blue sky with him. Clow raised his head to look at them, the pink butterfly girl was in front and she was giggling happily as she looped back towards Clow, she handed him a large hat Clow recognised as his own. He never wore it because it was large and heavy, but it was very warm in winter. Clow laughed as she stole it out of his hands and placed it on his head. She hugged him briefly, flew around him and held his hand before pulling away. A sudden blur of black obscured his vision as Hei-ying flew around Keroberos, before falling into a steady flight obediently by his side. Hei-ying's hair was slightly different and he had dragon wings rather than his feathered white wings. The black-scaled appendages beat steadily as Hei-ying turned his head to stare at him, his vastly shorter fringe covering half his face.
"HOLD ON TIGHT!" Keroberos roared as he suddenly dipped down. Clow held on to the back of his hat, as a huge dragon flew over him, Clow tipped his head back as the hard scaled underbelly of the dragon came dangerously over head. It was like the fly spirit in her full bird form, it was massive. "WAI!" Clow cried as it and Hei-ying peeled off.
"Rather than being the Mistress . . ." the girl's voice sounded again.
A beautiful, midnight blue panther twirled in the air, his black butterfly wings betraying a healthy sheen in the sunlight. The large blue panther pulled up alongside them, carrying the large gilded staff in his mouth, Clow grabbed it and petted the blue creature between the ears. "Arigato!!" He cried as the panther peeled away.
He gasped as the Fly card sudden materialised in his hand.
"Give it a try!" Keroberos laughed deeply. Clow stood uncertainly on his sun lion's back, and held up his staff. He took a moment to enjoy the sensation of flying on Keroberos, the sunshine was beautiful and while Hei- ying and the dragon had disappeared, the butterfly girl and panther flew side by side with Keroberos. He threw the fly upwards as he suddenly jumped into the air.
His hair trailed upwards as he managed to strike the card, "FLY!!" He tumbled and rolled in the air before stabilising, he looked up to see the panther, nod down at him, then peel away to reveal the . . .
"Rather than being the Mistress . . ."
. . .the butterfly girl smiled and giggled before rolling in the air to reveal. . .
". . .The Mistress . . ."
. . .Keroberos growl playfully as he looked down at Clow, he winked and pranced in the air, he rolled to the other side to reveal. . .
". . .Rather than being the Mistress . . ."
. . . the sunlight obstructed his view as the last figure looped elegantly in the air, there was a blur of white before Clow looked up again the figure was gone. He sighed and looked to the other side of him, the butterfly girl and the blue panther were on one side, they stared defiantly ahead, as they match his speed perfectly. He whipped his head around to see Keroberos grin at him; the lion beat his strong wings and started to pull ahead. Clow watch him briefly before he was aware that something had moved into Keroberos' place beside him. The elegant figure was back; it was the white haired angel. He looked focused as he maintained the same speed as Clow's winged staff. Clow was amazed by the finesse of the beautiful creature; he scrapped back the strands of his black hair to keep his eyes on the calm being. He smiled as the angel looked at him, and nodded. Clow nodded back, and the angel and the two other winged creatures pulled ahead of Clow. He watched as they pulled of some impressive manoeuvres together. They span and dived together, like a team, then the two cats looped back and dived towards him. They took up positions beside him. Clow was watching the two winged humanoid beings, as he concentrated on the white haired angel, which was the other guardian Clow would one day create. He wondered when the angel would come into his life. He waited for the angel to turn and say 'Whenever you decide it.'
A laugh from his left caught his attention. "Not just yet," a rather neatly bred English accent said. Clow gasped, as he looked over to the blue panther, the blue haired boy was back, riding the panther as Clow had Keroberos. He laughed again as the panther rolled once. Something was missing Clow thought, the boy was wearing robes similar to his, but something was missing from them. Clow snapped his fingers as he pulled off the hat, and handed it to the boy. He laughed as he pulled it over his short blue hair, "Arigato!!"
"Wai!!" A sweet, girlish giggle made Clow turn his head to the right and saw that Keroberos was now carrying the Cardcaptor. "Faster!! Onegai Kero- chan! Faster!!" She squealed, and bravely lifted her hands into the air, trusting Keroberos so much with her frail child body. A beautiful crown now lay on her honeyed locks, and she was now wearing a pale yellow dress with tiny wings on the back.
He smiled as Keroberos laughed, "But of course!!" He roared as he pulled away. "Daijobu! Let's show our guts!!" Clow's heart lifted to realise, that Keroberos wasn't always going to be like this, not trusting Clow, and that the Cardcaptor was going to be happy with him.
He looked up at the two winged angels, they were flying back towards him, the girl flew with . . .Clow suddenly realised that he could ask the blue haired boy who he was, "MATTE!! Who are you? What's your name?" He called over to the three beside him.
"Eriol!" The boy smiled, "My name . . . it's*Eriol*!!" He shook a pale white finger at Clow, "And remember this, Clow Reed . . . Never give up!!" He reached over and clamped his small pale hand on Clow's arm, Clow still couldn't make out his eyes, but Clow knew they were filled with confidence, "We're depending on you!"
Eriol waved as he and his guardians pulled away again. The white angel flew along Clow's left, he was smiling as he spread his arms forward, and did some tight rolls, he was happy, Clow realised, the white haired angel was blissfully happy, and free up here in the deep blue sky. The white angel's short white fringe hid his eyes from Clow, but Clow didn't mind, it made him happy to see such a free being. A laugh from the other side made him turn his head; the Cardcaptor and Keroberos were back. "Hello Cardcaptor . . ." Clow ventured and was rewarded with a sharp gasp from the Cardcaptor.
"Cl-Clow-sama?!"
Clow smiled and nodded, "I'm glad to see you and Keroberos are getting along." He laughed as they did a roll together, "May I ask . . . what is your name?"
But the girl didn't seem to hear him, she stared at him and Clow realised she was beginning to fade, as was the angel, and Keroberos. The blue sky turned dark and Clow realised he was on the ground again. The Cardcaptor's voice sounded once more, "Rather than being the Mistress. . . I would like to be your friend. . ."
A cherry blossom floated in front of him, and he knew the beautiful vision was ending.
"Never give up . . . be your friend . . . Daijobu! Let's show our guts!! . . . we're depending on you . . . hold on . . ." the voices from his vision overlapped and echoed in his mind. Clow caught the cheery blossom, and stared at it, wondering what relevance a cherry blossom had to the Cardcaptor.
"Kitto . . ."
"Master?" Keroberos rested a warm paw on his Master's thigh, Clow had fallen into a deep sleep, and was now speaking, repeating 'probably . . .' in one of the many languages Clow had taught him, Keroberos fumbled slightly as he tried to remember the which language it was. "Kitto . . ." Clow mumbled again, then Keroberos realised it was Japanese. "Kitto . . ." Clow frowned in his sleep and opened his eyes.
"Kitto . . .?" Keroberos put both his front paws on Clow's lap and pushed up onto his hind legs, "Kitto . . .?"
"Eh!" Clow jerked slightly as he realised how close Keroberos was, "What?"
"Kittoooo?" Keroberos asked, very curious as to what Clow had been dreaming about. "Kitto what?"
"What do you mean?"
"You were saying 'Kitto' . . . probably what?"
Clow's mouth hung opened as he tried to recall what it was, he shrugged, "I've forgotten."
Keroberos sighed, and returned to his seat. He was still confused by what Hei-ying had said. Clow never seemed like he wanted Hei-ying to kill him, but still he was aware that Clow had a few problems, he dared a glance at Hei-ying, the star guardian was staring out of the window, legs and arms crossed. Keroberos wondered what Hei-ying was thinking; he seemed used to the deep sleeps that Clow every-so-often fell into. They unnerved Keroberos, always had done since he was a kitten and Clow had just collapsed onto the floor, only to wake up a few moments later as if nothing had happened. Hei-ying was quiet; they hadn't exchanged any conversation since Hei-ying had come into his room, and made him doubt the truthfulness behind Clow's ever-pleasant countenance.
He looked at Clow; he looked like he was on the verge of tears again. The magician tried so hard to hide his sad faces from them but recently had been starting to fail. Keroberos knew part of this was his own fault; he just couldn't get the idea out of his head that Hei-ying might be telling the truth. Perhaps Clow regretted his creation, Keroberos was aware that he was the complete opposite to Hei-ying, that he was neither as obedient nor as smart as Hei-ying but still Clow had never seemed like the type of person who could bare to be so silent for so long. Keroberos felt cold, saddened to realise that Clow might want him to be more like Hei-ying now that he had grown up.
The town was very busy, and Clow had told Keroberos not to say anything because the inhabitants of the town had never seen a lion before much less a talking lion. He stuck close to Clow's side instinctively as they weaved in and out of the stalls, the other people looked nothing like Clow, Clow was pale and orderly but these other people . . . he smelt the air, they were all so different. He growled as some small person tugged at his tail. Clow patted his lower back, encouraging him to sit. "Excuse me. . .?" He called to the squealing kids.
Keroberos glared at the kid that had yanked his tail, the child was giggling uncontrollably and was quite dirty. This amused Keroberos knowing that Clow had instructed Hei-ying that he wouldn't be able to use his powers of levitation. This would mean Hei-ying would be conscious of the fact that his boots, which Clow had created especially for the town visit, would be getting horrendously dirty. //Good!// he thought, as he sat patiently with Clow, the magician was explaining to the kids that Keroberos was a lion.
"Clow Reed?!" A voice called through the crowd, "Clow *Reed*!"
Clow produced some sweets from his pocket and handed them to the children, he never actually carried any in there, he just called them into existence. He petted them on the head, and ushered them away as a short, portly gentleman weaved his way through the crowd. He grabbed Clow's arms and tugged him away from the crowd. Keroberos growled slightly as the man pulled Clow away, Hei-ying's hand glowed a bit. Clow stopped and halted the man, "Come on! Don't worry, he's an old friend of mine!"
Once they were away from prying ears by a small steam and pond with a small stone bridge over it, the short man pulled Clow into a tight hug, "I'd know that aura anywhere, Clow Reed!"
Clow nodded, "I know I've been . . ."
"Hidden away from the magical world for almost a century now!" The portly man laughed and clapped Clow hard on the shoulder. Clow stumbled a little and, in a bat of an eyelid, Hei-ying stood between him and the ruddy-faced man. "Do not touch the Master!" He hissed.
The portly gentleman took a step back, "And who are you?"
Hei-ying took another threatening step towards him, before Clow held his shoulders. He was surprised to feel Hei-ying was trembling in rage. "It's okay . . ." Clow murmured into his ear, "It's all right, I know him."
Hei-ying turned his head slightly to listen to Clow, he wasn't actually scared of the portly gentleman, but he didn't like anyone to touch Clow when he couldn't. When Hei-ying nodded his head, and stepped behind him, Clow motioned his good friend over to the small bridge, they sat on the wall. "Clow . . . who is this and where on earth did you get that . . ." he motioned at Keroberos, "That thing?"
Clow motioned Hei-ying closer, "This is Hei-ying and. . ." he beckoned Keroberos closer, "This is Keroberos." He turned slightly to address Hei- ying and Keroberos, "I'd like you both to say hello to a good friend of mine, he is the Reed family doctor . . . Doctor Louison."
Hei-ying looked from the doctor to Master Clow, and then pursed his lips together. He bowed curtly, "Ohayo."
"Pardon me?" The doctor raised an eyebrow at the unfamiliar greeting.
Hei-ying's eyes narrowed slightly, Keroberos knew this was because Hei-ying hated repeating himself. Keroberos glanced at Clow, the magician was staring at Hei-ying, disappointment colouring his expression. Keroberos knew he wasn't supposed to but he tentatively reached out with his mind to find out what his Master was thinking. Clow was so horrified by Hei-ying's behaviour that he didn't notice the hesitant mental intruder pluck the foremost thought from his mind.
Keroberos almost gasped aloud when he heard Clow think, //. . . Social failures . . . The both of them . . . I've made such a horrible mistake, the Cardcaptor will never survive . . .// Keroberos frowned, then shook his head, he never thought Clow would actually think of them as failures, //Well . . .// Keroberos drew a deep breath as he glanced at Hei-ying, //He can be the social failure, but I won't let Clow down! I'll . . . I'll show my guts!//
"I'm Keroberos!" He stepped forward, and smiled, "And a *very* good morning to you!"
The doctor's eyes widened, "My goodn--. . . Clow! You created this. . ."
"Lion, I'm a lion, I was created under the influence of the sun!" Keroberos cheerfully supplied.
"Really?"
"Indeed!" Keroberos wasn't too sure how to approach the stranger, but one look at Clow's surprised face made him feel daring. He leapt up onto the wall between his creator and the Reed family doctor. "I'm a Reed too! Or at least that what Clow tells me!" He began to chat happily away to the stranger, aware that Clow had begun to smile hopefully behind him.
"So. . . this mansion of yours. . ." Louison asked as they travelled back in the stagecoach, "Is that where you've been hiding all these years?"
"I haven't been hiding."
"Clow, nobody has seen you since your parents died, you packed up and left after the funeral . . . both the Reed's and the Li's have been worried sick about you and have been accusing the other of your abduction." He leant forward; "You do know how important you are, don't you?"
Clow sighed and shook his head, "I know . . . since I was old enough to speak, I've been told that I was going to bring a new dawn to magic. Oracles and fortunes have all been saying the same thing since the day I was born . . ." He snorted cynically, "I am the one who will bring magic to a new level, no one of my family would ever shut up about it . . . I was spoiled rotten, but I couldn't have any friends, no time for playing like normal children, the instant I could hold up a sword, I was trained . . . only my parents and my uncle seemed to take any pity on me, and then they died . . ." He looked down at Keroberos who had fallen sound asleep, he was resting his head in Clow's lap, "I . . . needed to get away . . ."
Hei-ying's head lolled slightly, as he sat opposite, he too was fast asleep. The day out had exhausted both guardians, the doctor continued. "Clow, you cannot escape your responsibilities . . . the magic world needs new blood like yours to help create new magic." He motioned to the two guardians, "And I can see you've already begun to create life forms with consciousnesses . . . they are a remarkable achievement."
Clow rubbed between Keroberos' ears affectionately, "I adore them . . . they will make excellent guardians."
"Guardians . . . Guardians of what?"
"Of. . ." Clow sighed, "I've already created the new magic, and I am the only one that can use them . . ."
"What?!" The doctor sat up suddenly, Keroberos growled slightly in his sleep and turned his head away from the surprised doctor, and Clow motioned him to be quieter. The doctor nodded, "What is it? The new magic? Is it powerful . . . can you control it?"
"Of course I can . . ." Clow whispered.
"Then why do you need guardians?"
"For after I die . . . I'm going to seal the cards, my new magic, in a book, until the right person comes along, and then and only then will the cards be released again."
"You're going to stop the magic world from using them . . . how long will we have to wait until this . . . this new Master of the cards appears?"
"I don't know exactly, but we'll be long gone by then, that I am sure of . . ."
"Clow . . . the magic world is already beginning to die . . ."
"I know. . . but there isn't anyone in this life honourable enough to use them. . . the Cardcaptor will be."
"But Clow . . ."
"No!" Clow snapped quietly, "I have seen the Cardcaptor . . . she will look after my cards, and she will never use my cards for personal gain . . . I can't say she won't use them to help her . . . but she's never going to try to destroy anyone with it . . . or try to force *dying* faiths upon people who simply don't believe anymore."
"Clow . . ." The Doctor chuckled lightly and patted the younger man on the knee affectionately, "If there's been one thing you've always been, you've always been stubborn . . ."
Clow stared out the window of the stagecoach; they had let the doctor off at his practice a little way out of town. The doctor was also the town's doctor, and had been for quite sometime. He would disappear every few decades and come back under a different name, once he was out of living memory. Clow sighed; the doctor had brought back some of the more unpleasant memories of his childhood.
His mother, a beautiful Chinese woman, had always been very stubborn, and could be quite scary when provoked, but she had been independent. Unlike other female members of her clan, she never allowed her magic skills to go untrained. She had done so since she had demanded that her foot binds be removed, and that she was allowed to go train with her brother.
Her brother, Clow's uncle, Hei-ying, had been a tough inflexible man, and he was the one that had installed the idea in Clow that he must never cry in front of anyone, for that would be a sign of weakness and anyone would take that as a way to defeat you. Despite this, Hei-ying had been a kind man to Clow, even with his objection to his parents' marriage. He had a furious glare, and could often break even Clow, who had been known to be even more stubborn than his mother. He had dark brown, piercing eyes, with a dark chocolate mop of short hair, which he obstinately refused to grow long into the traditional Chinese way. He looked almost exactly like that boy in the green robes, Clow reflected. Since Clow was the only child between his mother and father, Hei-ying's family line must have been carefully planned. Their blood must have been painstakingly kept clear of weaker magical blood, to ensure that the Li clan were ready for whatever magic Clow would release on the world. Clow laughed slightly, the Li's had been better prepared for Clow's magic than the Reed's had, they must have expected him to pull something like this.
Clow thought about his father, he hadn't been like the typical Reed, the Reed's were treated like the magical realm's answer to royalty. Because of this, many of the Reed's were very arrogant, but not Clow's father, he had been an honest hard-working man who had married for love rather than family honour. He was kind, and was always very practical.
Clow had loved the three very dearly, as they were the only ones who didn't remind him at every turn that he was going to do something special when he grew up. Instead they started to train him, prepare him for the various obstacles in his way. Teaching him every magic they knew of, training him in every magical style.
Clow looked at his guardians, //And now I am teaching you as well . . .// Keroberos' eyes fluttered open. He sat up groggily, and stared at Clow. He frowned, and then passed a look at Hei-ying. The black haired star guardian was still fast asleep, Keroberos looked out the window, it was nearing nightfall. He glanced at Clow again, who was smiling slightly, he looked uncertain. He raised a hand to Keroberos' cheek. "Are you . . . did you sleep well?"
Keroberos stared hard at Clow, trying to see if there was a grain of truth to what Hei-ying said, that Clow really wanted him dead, and he was going to let Hei-ying do his dirty work. The magician was still young, in comparison to the other magicians Clow had read to him about. And to Keroberos, Clow had never wished any inch of pain against him.
As Keroberos was making this internal comparison, Clow's hand dropped and lay in his lap, Keroberos had rejected him Clow decided. He was becoming just like Hei-ying, a silent servant, and one who would never ever even think about disagreeing with his Master.
Clow's heart constricted slightly, he felt a little jealous of the Cardcaptor, she was going to bring Keroberos back . . . back to the jolly, happy kitten that Clow used to sleep on his study's window seat with. Clow bit back a small whimper and turn his head to the window. He began to curse himself for being weak as a tear began to slide down his cheek. He felt trapped again, trapped and alone. He didn't dare even think that he would create a third guardian in this life, the third would become like Keroberos, and ultimately Hei-ying and Clow would truly be the failure he always knew he—
"Don't." Clow looked back at Keroberos. The lion was now staring at him with open concern. "Don't think like that."
"How do you . . .?"
"I've been . . ." Keroberos looked at the fading red seat; "I've been looking at your thoughts . . ."
"Then you know. You know how I've failed you and I've failed your brother, and now . . . I've failed the Cardcaptor."
"Don't!" Keroberos growled softly. "I don't want you to think like this! You're not, and if you give up now then you have failed the Cardcaptor." He put a heavy paw on Clow's arm, "You've gotta start showing your guts!"
Clow opened his mouth to respond, and then closed it as he thought of something else, "Why have you been so hushed around me lately?"
Keroberos was silent for a few moments, he didn't think that Hei-ying was right anymore, but still he didn't want to take the risk, so he lied, "I was . . . just a little scared after I heard you had destroyed all the ponds . . . I thought you might be a bit angry at me for getting myself caught in the water."
Clow's eyes widened, then he breathed out quickly. "You thought I was angry at you for nearly getting drowned?!" He turned and threw his arms around Keroberos; "I was so worried about you . . . I couldn't get angry at you for something like that even if I tried!!"
Hei-ying began to reawaken as they drew nearer to the mansion; they were passing through the barrier that kept trespassers out, he looked over at Master Clow. Keroberos was still lying in his lap, and Master Clow rested his hand on the lion's head, Hei-ying scowled at the scene, he hadn't had much of a chance to attempt another try on Keroberos' life. Master Clow had ordered him to help train Keroberos, and so he would have to wait until Keroberos' training was complete before he could try again. He wondered how he could do it, now that Master Clow had removed the ponds. Keroberos was getting to the point where he could sustain himself, and he had been leaving Master Clow alone since Hei-ying had first tried to drown him. Hei- ying sighed, allowing himself to stare at his handsome Master, perhaps now that Keroberos was older, Master Clow would want to resume their relationship. Hei-ying smiled, he decided he would approach the Master about it *soon*.
The next few days, and Keroberos returned to his normal personality, for this Clow was infinitely glad. It meant that he wasn't getting it wrong; that one day the Cardcaptor would have two very strong and wise guardians she could depend on. Clow was in his study alone as he was cleaning; it had been a while since he had last ordered everything in here. Papers scrawled with incantations, and spells, notes on the safety catches he placed on the cards, detailed descriptions of Hei-ying and Keroberos, everything he had created he had made orderly description about.
He had left them for the Cardcaptor originally, so that she would be able to understand the magic that she was given. He was going to leave them with the Li family he had decided, since they would be more responsible with it. He hoped that the books he would create from the notes would be passed down, read and understood. Clow thought that the girl would be from the Li family, since he was the only one that could use the cards; he assumed that it would only be his descendants that would be also.
Clow smiled as he came across the doodled pictures of other forms he had been thinking of creating for Keroberos and Hei-ying. He was very aware that they couldn't go out in public as they were, but they also found it very hard to not use their powers. His original idea was that he would create a sort of false form for them. Forms they could revert to when they didn't need their powers, Hei-ying's was a human boy, with chocolate brown short hair, but he would keep his jade green eyes. Keroberos' had been a little more fun, a tiny golden toy like thing with wings and a long tail with a small white poof of fur at the end. Clow had kept this secret from them, because he wasn't entirely sure how they would take to the idea that Clow wanted to be able to hide their true forms.
Putting these papers safely in a different drawer, he picked up a rough scrap of paper, this held doodles of the midnight blue panther, he had been wondering recently if he was meant to create the butterfly girl and the panther, but he had recently come to the conclusion that they weren't going to be created by him . . . their wings had been the tip off, he preferred white angel wings, and although he liked butterflies, he couldn't see himself creating such creatures.
He put the papers on the desk and picked up a small folded square of paper. He wondered what it was as he began to unfold it, it had his handwriting all over it. He frowned bemusedly as he turned it the right way up. It had doodles of stars and suns and moons all over it, and names, the same names repeated and redefined. Near the stars it read: 'Hi-yin, Hei-yan, Hei-ying' and 'Cerberus, Keroberos, Keroberosu' was decorated by the suns, Clow laughed slightly as he twisted the paper to read the names under the moons, 'Moon-yang, Hei-yang, Lunar, Lun-yang, Yang'. Clow frowned as he squinted to read one name that had been scribbled hurriedly. It was the last name he had been considering, but he had only just come up with it a few seconds before he was due to leave, hence it's illegibility. "You . . . Hugh . . .Hmmm . . ." He readjusted his spectacles and glanced out the window, it was getting late in the afternoon and the red light pouring in though the window meant the sun was setting. Clow put the paper on the desk and stared out the window.
The late autumn was turning into winter, but still was quite dry. His garden was starting to prepare for winter, but the magicked plants Clow kept were feeling the effect of the dryness. Clow sighed, and opened the window. He pulled out the Storm card, "Storm . . . create for me a rain storm to keep my plants well fed" he murmured as he tapped it lightly with his staff, "Release!"
After turning the staff back to a key, Clow lit a lamp on his desk and resumed his cleaning, forgetting about the tiny slip of paper that held the name of his final guardian, as it slipped off his desk and floated under his desk.
-------------------
And now it's Time for LEAVE IT TO DR MEGALOMANIA!!
Clow: Wonder who that could be?
DrM: Hmm?
Clow: Name on the paper. . . wonder who that could be?
DrM: I don't know. . . hmmmm. . .
[Clow and DrM sit back and press a finger against their lips, staring into nowhere as they think about it]
Hei-ying: Love of sanity. . .
Kero: Bah! As if you could talk!
Hei-ying: [ignoring Kero] . . .Please R&R!!!
I state for the record that, despite the fact I really, really wish I did, I don't own any of the official characters that will grace this story; it's all CLAMP's! Always has been, always will be! I *DO*, however, own Marcibay Hilligans and Hei-ying Reed!! I also own Mystrasa Kyree, and the dragon isn't mine, it's on loan from my good friend, the Blue Goo! And what the heck . . . I own the mansion as well! [Laughs] Also I don't pretend to have any Mastery over the language of Japanese or any clue as to correct grammatical structure. I put it in and hope it gets across the point I'm trying to make! And I don't pretend to be able to write any sort of accents so please don't hate me!
"Speaking"
*Stress/emphasis*
//Thinking//
In This Tainted Soul . . .
By Dr Megalomania.
Part Eleven: Courage
[Guess what happens when DrM is exposed to too much CCS mp3s . . . and if you know of any good websites with mp3s . . . please share!! But NO midis . . . they are evil . . . not in the good, wholesome DrM way . . . I LOVE PLATINUM!!!]
Clow had ordered a stagecoach to take the trio to the nearby town, it had been a while since they had last been and Clow wanted to get Keroberos used to the idea that there were other people inhabiting the earth. He stared worryingly at Keroberos; the lion had been very quiet since the attempted drowning incident. Clow had tried on several occasions to cheer him up, but even his favourite card, the Sweet, hadn't been able to cheer him up. Every attempt, Clow would catch Keroberos looking at him strangely as if he was confused by Clow's behaviour. Hei-ying was staring out the window, dressed in his depressing robes again. Clow glanced at Keroberos again, the lion held his eyes for a few moments until he looked away.
That . . . hurt.
Clow didn't understand what he had done to make Keroberos . . . he didn't even know what was wrong. Their lessons began to seem like the ones he used to give Hei-ying, after Hilligans, they were lifeless, and heavy. Clow sighed, if Keroberos began to turn into Hei-ying, he would be alone again. Clow squeezed his eyes shut, and swallowed, not willing to let either of his creations see their Master cry. He took an unsteady breath and turned his head to the window, he felt like a failure. He couldn't create anything that would keep him company; maybe he should just give---
"I'm still a kid, and I'm not nearly as powerful as Clow . . ." Clow turned at the sound of his name; the Cardcaptor was standing there, clutching her staff. She stepped forward, and held her hands to him. He realised she wasn't looking at him, she was talking to someone else, but the vision had elected to show him this . . .
She twirled the staff once, and grabbed it decisively, "But I'll work hard at it!"
Clow stepped towards her and tried to grab her hands, "I know you will!" He blurted, "But how can you hope to control the cards, when I have given you such dysfunctional guardians?!"
She smiled, and started to vanish. Clow twirled in the darkness as her voice continued to echo around him, "Rather than being the Mistress . . . the Mistress . . . Mistress . . ."
Clow tripped and fell backwards; he thought he was going to fall into the darkness. "WHOA!!" He cried as he landed on something warm, it jerked him, and he had to grab it's soft fur. Clow gasped as Keroberos smiled happily over his shoulder, the golden lion had a strange hat, or a helmet on, it had a bright red jewel set deep on its crown. He laughed and spread his wings. Keroberos was older, Clow realised //. . .and larger//. Clow laughed as Keroberos beat his wings strongly, he suddenly realised that they were flying, in a sky that was impossibly blue. He grasped the gold fur tightly as Keroberos took him on several high loose loops. "Rather than being the Mistress . . ."
"Ikou yo, ikou yo, ikou yo! Tsubasa hiroge!" Keroberos sang happily, Clow smiled and hugged his sun guardian tightly, the lion was singing a beautiful Japanese song about going flying and spreading wings. Another few loops and Clow realised they were alone anymore, there were more winged creatures flying though the bright blue sky with him. Clow raised his head to look at them, the pink butterfly girl was in front and she was giggling happily as she looped back towards Clow, she handed him a large hat Clow recognised as his own. He never wore it because it was large and heavy, but it was very warm in winter. Clow laughed as she stole it out of his hands and placed it on his head. She hugged him briefly, flew around him and held his hand before pulling away. A sudden blur of black obscured his vision as Hei-ying flew around Keroberos, before falling into a steady flight obediently by his side. Hei-ying's hair was slightly different and he had dragon wings rather than his feathered white wings. The black-scaled appendages beat steadily as Hei-ying turned his head to stare at him, his vastly shorter fringe covering half his face.
"HOLD ON TIGHT!" Keroberos roared as he suddenly dipped down. Clow held on to the back of his hat, as a huge dragon flew over him, Clow tipped his head back as the hard scaled underbelly of the dragon came dangerously over head. It was like the fly spirit in her full bird form, it was massive. "WAI!" Clow cried as it and Hei-ying peeled off.
"Rather than being the Mistress . . ." the girl's voice sounded again.
A beautiful, midnight blue panther twirled in the air, his black butterfly wings betraying a healthy sheen in the sunlight. The large blue panther pulled up alongside them, carrying the large gilded staff in his mouth, Clow grabbed it and petted the blue creature between the ears. "Arigato!!" He cried as the panther peeled away.
He gasped as the Fly card sudden materialised in his hand.
"Give it a try!" Keroberos laughed deeply. Clow stood uncertainly on his sun lion's back, and held up his staff. He took a moment to enjoy the sensation of flying on Keroberos, the sunshine was beautiful and while Hei- ying and the dragon had disappeared, the butterfly girl and panther flew side by side with Keroberos. He threw the fly upwards as he suddenly jumped into the air.
His hair trailed upwards as he managed to strike the card, "FLY!!" He tumbled and rolled in the air before stabilising, he looked up to see the panther, nod down at him, then peel away to reveal the . . .
"Rather than being the Mistress . . ."
. . .the butterfly girl smiled and giggled before rolling in the air to reveal. . .
". . .The Mistress . . ."
. . .Keroberos growl playfully as he looked down at Clow, he winked and pranced in the air, he rolled to the other side to reveal. . .
". . .Rather than being the Mistress . . ."
. . . the sunlight obstructed his view as the last figure looped elegantly in the air, there was a blur of white before Clow looked up again the figure was gone. He sighed and looked to the other side of him, the butterfly girl and the blue panther were on one side, they stared defiantly ahead, as they match his speed perfectly. He whipped his head around to see Keroberos grin at him; the lion beat his strong wings and started to pull ahead. Clow watch him briefly before he was aware that something had moved into Keroberos' place beside him. The elegant figure was back; it was the white haired angel. He looked focused as he maintained the same speed as Clow's winged staff. Clow was amazed by the finesse of the beautiful creature; he scrapped back the strands of his black hair to keep his eyes on the calm being. He smiled as the angel looked at him, and nodded. Clow nodded back, and the angel and the two other winged creatures pulled ahead of Clow. He watched as they pulled of some impressive manoeuvres together. They span and dived together, like a team, then the two cats looped back and dived towards him. They took up positions beside him. Clow was watching the two winged humanoid beings, as he concentrated on the white haired angel, which was the other guardian Clow would one day create. He wondered when the angel would come into his life. He waited for the angel to turn and say 'Whenever you decide it.'
A laugh from his left caught his attention. "Not just yet," a rather neatly bred English accent said. Clow gasped, as he looked over to the blue panther, the blue haired boy was back, riding the panther as Clow had Keroberos. He laughed again as the panther rolled once. Something was missing Clow thought, the boy was wearing robes similar to his, but something was missing from them. Clow snapped his fingers as he pulled off the hat, and handed it to the boy. He laughed as he pulled it over his short blue hair, "Arigato!!"
"Wai!!" A sweet, girlish giggle made Clow turn his head to the right and saw that Keroberos was now carrying the Cardcaptor. "Faster!! Onegai Kero- chan! Faster!!" She squealed, and bravely lifted her hands into the air, trusting Keroberos so much with her frail child body. A beautiful crown now lay on her honeyed locks, and she was now wearing a pale yellow dress with tiny wings on the back.
He smiled as Keroberos laughed, "But of course!!" He roared as he pulled away. "Daijobu! Let's show our guts!!" Clow's heart lifted to realise, that Keroberos wasn't always going to be like this, not trusting Clow, and that the Cardcaptor was going to be happy with him.
He looked up at the two winged angels, they were flying back towards him, the girl flew with . . .Clow suddenly realised that he could ask the blue haired boy who he was, "MATTE!! Who are you? What's your name?" He called over to the three beside him.
"Eriol!" The boy smiled, "My name . . . it's*Eriol*!!" He shook a pale white finger at Clow, "And remember this, Clow Reed . . . Never give up!!" He reached over and clamped his small pale hand on Clow's arm, Clow still couldn't make out his eyes, but Clow knew they were filled with confidence, "We're depending on you!"
Eriol waved as he and his guardians pulled away again. The white angel flew along Clow's left, he was smiling as he spread his arms forward, and did some tight rolls, he was happy, Clow realised, the white haired angel was blissfully happy, and free up here in the deep blue sky. The white angel's short white fringe hid his eyes from Clow, but Clow didn't mind, it made him happy to see such a free being. A laugh from the other side made him turn his head; the Cardcaptor and Keroberos were back. "Hello Cardcaptor . . ." Clow ventured and was rewarded with a sharp gasp from the Cardcaptor.
"Cl-Clow-sama?!"
Clow smiled and nodded, "I'm glad to see you and Keroberos are getting along." He laughed as they did a roll together, "May I ask . . . what is your name?"
But the girl didn't seem to hear him, she stared at him and Clow realised she was beginning to fade, as was the angel, and Keroberos. The blue sky turned dark and Clow realised he was on the ground again. The Cardcaptor's voice sounded once more, "Rather than being the Mistress. . . I would like to be your friend. . ."
A cherry blossom floated in front of him, and he knew the beautiful vision was ending.
"Never give up . . . be your friend . . . Daijobu! Let's show our guts!! . . . we're depending on you . . . hold on . . ." the voices from his vision overlapped and echoed in his mind. Clow caught the cheery blossom, and stared at it, wondering what relevance a cherry blossom had to the Cardcaptor.
"Kitto . . ."
"Master?" Keroberos rested a warm paw on his Master's thigh, Clow had fallen into a deep sleep, and was now speaking, repeating 'probably . . .' in one of the many languages Clow had taught him, Keroberos fumbled slightly as he tried to remember the which language it was. "Kitto . . ." Clow mumbled again, then Keroberos realised it was Japanese. "Kitto . . ." Clow frowned in his sleep and opened his eyes.
"Kitto . . .?" Keroberos put both his front paws on Clow's lap and pushed up onto his hind legs, "Kitto . . .?"
"Eh!" Clow jerked slightly as he realised how close Keroberos was, "What?"
"Kittoooo?" Keroberos asked, very curious as to what Clow had been dreaming about. "Kitto what?"
"What do you mean?"
"You were saying 'Kitto' . . . probably what?"
Clow's mouth hung opened as he tried to recall what it was, he shrugged, "I've forgotten."
Keroberos sighed, and returned to his seat. He was still confused by what Hei-ying had said. Clow never seemed like he wanted Hei-ying to kill him, but still he was aware that Clow had a few problems, he dared a glance at Hei-ying, the star guardian was staring out of the window, legs and arms crossed. Keroberos wondered what Hei-ying was thinking; he seemed used to the deep sleeps that Clow every-so-often fell into. They unnerved Keroberos, always had done since he was a kitten and Clow had just collapsed onto the floor, only to wake up a few moments later as if nothing had happened. Hei-ying was quiet; they hadn't exchanged any conversation since Hei-ying had come into his room, and made him doubt the truthfulness behind Clow's ever-pleasant countenance.
He looked at Clow; he looked like he was on the verge of tears again. The magician tried so hard to hide his sad faces from them but recently had been starting to fail. Keroberos knew part of this was his own fault; he just couldn't get the idea out of his head that Hei-ying might be telling the truth. Perhaps Clow regretted his creation, Keroberos was aware that he was the complete opposite to Hei-ying, that he was neither as obedient nor as smart as Hei-ying but still Clow had never seemed like the type of person who could bare to be so silent for so long. Keroberos felt cold, saddened to realise that Clow might want him to be more like Hei-ying now that he had grown up.
The town was very busy, and Clow had told Keroberos not to say anything because the inhabitants of the town had never seen a lion before much less a talking lion. He stuck close to Clow's side instinctively as they weaved in and out of the stalls, the other people looked nothing like Clow, Clow was pale and orderly but these other people . . . he smelt the air, they were all so different. He growled as some small person tugged at his tail. Clow patted his lower back, encouraging him to sit. "Excuse me. . .?" He called to the squealing kids.
Keroberos glared at the kid that had yanked his tail, the child was giggling uncontrollably and was quite dirty. This amused Keroberos knowing that Clow had instructed Hei-ying that he wouldn't be able to use his powers of levitation. This would mean Hei-ying would be conscious of the fact that his boots, which Clow had created especially for the town visit, would be getting horrendously dirty. //Good!// he thought, as he sat patiently with Clow, the magician was explaining to the kids that Keroberos was a lion.
"Clow Reed?!" A voice called through the crowd, "Clow *Reed*!"
Clow produced some sweets from his pocket and handed them to the children, he never actually carried any in there, he just called them into existence. He petted them on the head, and ushered them away as a short, portly gentleman weaved his way through the crowd. He grabbed Clow's arms and tugged him away from the crowd. Keroberos growled slightly as the man pulled Clow away, Hei-ying's hand glowed a bit. Clow stopped and halted the man, "Come on! Don't worry, he's an old friend of mine!"
Once they were away from prying ears by a small steam and pond with a small stone bridge over it, the short man pulled Clow into a tight hug, "I'd know that aura anywhere, Clow Reed!"
Clow nodded, "I know I've been . . ."
"Hidden away from the magical world for almost a century now!" The portly man laughed and clapped Clow hard on the shoulder. Clow stumbled a little and, in a bat of an eyelid, Hei-ying stood between him and the ruddy-faced man. "Do not touch the Master!" He hissed.
The portly gentleman took a step back, "And who are you?"
Hei-ying took another threatening step towards him, before Clow held his shoulders. He was surprised to feel Hei-ying was trembling in rage. "It's okay . . ." Clow murmured into his ear, "It's all right, I know him."
Hei-ying turned his head slightly to listen to Clow, he wasn't actually scared of the portly gentleman, but he didn't like anyone to touch Clow when he couldn't. When Hei-ying nodded his head, and stepped behind him, Clow motioned his good friend over to the small bridge, they sat on the wall. "Clow . . . who is this and where on earth did you get that . . ." he motioned at Keroberos, "That thing?"
Clow motioned Hei-ying closer, "This is Hei-ying and. . ." he beckoned Keroberos closer, "This is Keroberos." He turned slightly to address Hei- ying and Keroberos, "I'd like you both to say hello to a good friend of mine, he is the Reed family doctor . . . Doctor Louison."
Hei-ying looked from the doctor to Master Clow, and then pursed his lips together. He bowed curtly, "Ohayo."
"Pardon me?" The doctor raised an eyebrow at the unfamiliar greeting.
Hei-ying's eyes narrowed slightly, Keroberos knew this was because Hei-ying hated repeating himself. Keroberos glanced at Clow, the magician was staring at Hei-ying, disappointment colouring his expression. Keroberos knew he wasn't supposed to but he tentatively reached out with his mind to find out what his Master was thinking. Clow was so horrified by Hei-ying's behaviour that he didn't notice the hesitant mental intruder pluck the foremost thought from his mind.
Keroberos almost gasped aloud when he heard Clow think, //. . . Social failures . . . The both of them . . . I've made such a horrible mistake, the Cardcaptor will never survive . . .// Keroberos frowned, then shook his head, he never thought Clow would actually think of them as failures, //Well . . .// Keroberos drew a deep breath as he glanced at Hei-ying, //He can be the social failure, but I won't let Clow down! I'll . . . I'll show my guts!//
"I'm Keroberos!" He stepped forward, and smiled, "And a *very* good morning to you!"
The doctor's eyes widened, "My goodn--. . . Clow! You created this. . ."
"Lion, I'm a lion, I was created under the influence of the sun!" Keroberos cheerfully supplied.
"Really?"
"Indeed!" Keroberos wasn't too sure how to approach the stranger, but one look at Clow's surprised face made him feel daring. He leapt up onto the wall between his creator and the Reed family doctor. "I'm a Reed too! Or at least that what Clow tells me!" He began to chat happily away to the stranger, aware that Clow had begun to smile hopefully behind him.
"So. . . this mansion of yours. . ." Louison asked as they travelled back in the stagecoach, "Is that where you've been hiding all these years?"
"I haven't been hiding."
"Clow, nobody has seen you since your parents died, you packed up and left after the funeral . . . both the Reed's and the Li's have been worried sick about you and have been accusing the other of your abduction." He leant forward; "You do know how important you are, don't you?"
Clow sighed and shook his head, "I know . . . since I was old enough to speak, I've been told that I was going to bring a new dawn to magic. Oracles and fortunes have all been saying the same thing since the day I was born . . ." He snorted cynically, "I am the one who will bring magic to a new level, no one of my family would ever shut up about it . . . I was spoiled rotten, but I couldn't have any friends, no time for playing like normal children, the instant I could hold up a sword, I was trained . . . only my parents and my uncle seemed to take any pity on me, and then they died . . ." He looked down at Keroberos who had fallen sound asleep, he was resting his head in Clow's lap, "I . . . needed to get away . . ."
Hei-ying's head lolled slightly, as he sat opposite, he too was fast asleep. The day out had exhausted both guardians, the doctor continued. "Clow, you cannot escape your responsibilities . . . the magic world needs new blood like yours to help create new magic." He motioned to the two guardians, "And I can see you've already begun to create life forms with consciousnesses . . . they are a remarkable achievement."
Clow rubbed between Keroberos' ears affectionately, "I adore them . . . they will make excellent guardians."
"Guardians . . . Guardians of what?"
"Of. . ." Clow sighed, "I've already created the new magic, and I am the only one that can use them . . ."
"What?!" The doctor sat up suddenly, Keroberos growled slightly in his sleep and turned his head away from the surprised doctor, and Clow motioned him to be quieter. The doctor nodded, "What is it? The new magic? Is it powerful . . . can you control it?"
"Of course I can . . ." Clow whispered.
"Then why do you need guardians?"
"For after I die . . . I'm going to seal the cards, my new magic, in a book, until the right person comes along, and then and only then will the cards be released again."
"You're going to stop the magic world from using them . . . how long will we have to wait until this . . . this new Master of the cards appears?"
"I don't know exactly, but we'll be long gone by then, that I am sure of . . ."
"Clow . . . the magic world is already beginning to die . . ."
"I know. . . but there isn't anyone in this life honourable enough to use them. . . the Cardcaptor will be."
"But Clow . . ."
"No!" Clow snapped quietly, "I have seen the Cardcaptor . . . she will look after my cards, and she will never use my cards for personal gain . . . I can't say she won't use them to help her . . . but she's never going to try to destroy anyone with it . . . or try to force *dying* faiths upon people who simply don't believe anymore."
"Clow . . ." The Doctor chuckled lightly and patted the younger man on the knee affectionately, "If there's been one thing you've always been, you've always been stubborn . . ."
Clow stared out the window of the stagecoach; they had let the doctor off at his practice a little way out of town. The doctor was also the town's doctor, and had been for quite sometime. He would disappear every few decades and come back under a different name, once he was out of living memory. Clow sighed; the doctor had brought back some of the more unpleasant memories of his childhood.
His mother, a beautiful Chinese woman, had always been very stubborn, and could be quite scary when provoked, but she had been independent. Unlike other female members of her clan, she never allowed her magic skills to go untrained. She had done so since she had demanded that her foot binds be removed, and that she was allowed to go train with her brother.
Her brother, Clow's uncle, Hei-ying, had been a tough inflexible man, and he was the one that had installed the idea in Clow that he must never cry in front of anyone, for that would be a sign of weakness and anyone would take that as a way to defeat you. Despite this, Hei-ying had been a kind man to Clow, even with his objection to his parents' marriage. He had a furious glare, and could often break even Clow, who had been known to be even more stubborn than his mother. He had dark brown, piercing eyes, with a dark chocolate mop of short hair, which he obstinately refused to grow long into the traditional Chinese way. He looked almost exactly like that boy in the green robes, Clow reflected. Since Clow was the only child between his mother and father, Hei-ying's family line must have been carefully planned. Their blood must have been painstakingly kept clear of weaker magical blood, to ensure that the Li clan were ready for whatever magic Clow would release on the world. Clow laughed slightly, the Li's had been better prepared for Clow's magic than the Reed's had, they must have expected him to pull something like this.
Clow thought about his father, he hadn't been like the typical Reed, the Reed's were treated like the magical realm's answer to royalty. Because of this, many of the Reed's were very arrogant, but not Clow's father, he had been an honest hard-working man who had married for love rather than family honour. He was kind, and was always very practical.
Clow had loved the three very dearly, as they were the only ones who didn't remind him at every turn that he was going to do something special when he grew up. Instead they started to train him, prepare him for the various obstacles in his way. Teaching him every magic they knew of, training him in every magical style.
Clow looked at his guardians, //And now I am teaching you as well . . .// Keroberos' eyes fluttered open. He sat up groggily, and stared at Clow. He frowned, and then passed a look at Hei-ying. The black haired star guardian was still fast asleep, Keroberos looked out the window, it was nearing nightfall. He glanced at Clow again, who was smiling slightly, he looked uncertain. He raised a hand to Keroberos' cheek. "Are you . . . did you sleep well?"
Keroberos stared hard at Clow, trying to see if there was a grain of truth to what Hei-ying said, that Clow really wanted him dead, and he was going to let Hei-ying do his dirty work. The magician was still young, in comparison to the other magicians Clow had read to him about. And to Keroberos, Clow had never wished any inch of pain against him.
As Keroberos was making this internal comparison, Clow's hand dropped and lay in his lap, Keroberos had rejected him Clow decided. He was becoming just like Hei-ying, a silent servant, and one who would never ever even think about disagreeing with his Master.
Clow's heart constricted slightly, he felt a little jealous of the Cardcaptor, she was going to bring Keroberos back . . . back to the jolly, happy kitten that Clow used to sleep on his study's window seat with. Clow bit back a small whimper and turn his head to the window. He began to curse himself for being weak as a tear began to slide down his cheek. He felt trapped again, trapped and alone. He didn't dare even think that he would create a third guardian in this life, the third would become like Keroberos, and ultimately Hei-ying and Clow would truly be the failure he always knew he—
"Don't." Clow looked back at Keroberos. The lion was now staring at him with open concern. "Don't think like that."
"How do you . . .?"
"I've been . . ." Keroberos looked at the fading red seat; "I've been looking at your thoughts . . ."
"Then you know. You know how I've failed you and I've failed your brother, and now . . . I've failed the Cardcaptor."
"Don't!" Keroberos growled softly. "I don't want you to think like this! You're not, and if you give up now then you have failed the Cardcaptor." He put a heavy paw on Clow's arm, "You've gotta start showing your guts!"
Clow opened his mouth to respond, and then closed it as he thought of something else, "Why have you been so hushed around me lately?"
Keroberos was silent for a few moments, he didn't think that Hei-ying was right anymore, but still he didn't want to take the risk, so he lied, "I was . . . just a little scared after I heard you had destroyed all the ponds . . . I thought you might be a bit angry at me for getting myself caught in the water."
Clow's eyes widened, then he breathed out quickly. "You thought I was angry at you for nearly getting drowned?!" He turned and threw his arms around Keroberos; "I was so worried about you . . . I couldn't get angry at you for something like that even if I tried!!"
Hei-ying began to reawaken as they drew nearer to the mansion; they were passing through the barrier that kept trespassers out, he looked over at Master Clow. Keroberos was still lying in his lap, and Master Clow rested his hand on the lion's head, Hei-ying scowled at the scene, he hadn't had much of a chance to attempt another try on Keroberos' life. Master Clow had ordered him to help train Keroberos, and so he would have to wait until Keroberos' training was complete before he could try again. He wondered how he could do it, now that Master Clow had removed the ponds. Keroberos was getting to the point where he could sustain himself, and he had been leaving Master Clow alone since Hei-ying had first tried to drown him. Hei- ying sighed, allowing himself to stare at his handsome Master, perhaps now that Keroberos was older, Master Clow would want to resume their relationship. Hei-ying smiled, he decided he would approach the Master about it *soon*.
The next few days, and Keroberos returned to his normal personality, for this Clow was infinitely glad. It meant that he wasn't getting it wrong; that one day the Cardcaptor would have two very strong and wise guardians she could depend on. Clow was in his study alone as he was cleaning; it had been a while since he had last ordered everything in here. Papers scrawled with incantations, and spells, notes on the safety catches he placed on the cards, detailed descriptions of Hei-ying and Keroberos, everything he had created he had made orderly description about.
He had left them for the Cardcaptor originally, so that she would be able to understand the magic that she was given. He was going to leave them with the Li family he had decided, since they would be more responsible with it. He hoped that the books he would create from the notes would be passed down, read and understood. Clow thought that the girl would be from the Li family, since he was the only one that could use the cards; he assumed that it would only be his descendants that would be also.
Clow smiled as he came across the doodled pictures of other forms he had been thinking of creating for Keroberos and Hei-ying. He was very aware that they couldn't go out in public as they were, but they also found it very hard to not use their powers. His original idea was that he would create a sort of false form for them. Forms they could revert to when they didn't need their powers, Hei-ying's was a human boy, with chocolate brown short hair, but he would keep his jade green eyes. Keroberos' had been a little more fun, a tiny golden toy like thing with wings and a long tail with a small white poof of fur at the end. Clow had kept this secret from them, because he wasn't entirely sure how they would take to the idea that Clow wanted to be able to hide their true forms.
Putting these papers safely in a different drawer, he picked up a rough scrap of paper, this held doodles of the midnight blue panther, he had been wondering recently if he was meant to create the butterfly girl and the panther, but he had recently come to the conclusion that they weren't going to be created by him . . . their wings had been the tip off, he preferred white angel wings, and although he liked butterflies, he couldn't see himself creating such creatures.
He put the papers on the desk and picked up a small folded square of paper. He wondered what it was as he began to unfold it, it had his handwriting all over it. He frowned bemusedly as he turned it the right way up. It had doodles of stars and suns and moons all over it, and names, the same names repeated and redefined. Near the stars it read: 'Hi-yin, Hei-yan, Hei-ying' and 'Cerberus, Keroberos, Keroberosu' was decorated by the suns, Clow laughed slightly as he twisted the paper to read the names under the moons, 'Moon-yang, Hei-yang, Lunar, Lun-yang, Yang'. Clow frowned as he squinted to read one name that had been scribbled hurriedly. It was the last name he had been considering, but he had only just come up with it a few seconds before he was due to leave, hence it's illegibility. "You . . . Hugh . . .Hmmm . . ." He readjusted his spectacles and glanced out the window, it was getting late in the afternoon and the red light pouring in though the window meant the sun was setting. Clow put the paper on the desk and stared out the window.
The late autumn was turning into winter, but still was quite dry. His garden was starting to prepare for winter, but the magicked plants Clow kept were feeling the effect of the dryness. Clow sighed, and opened the window. He pulled out the Storm card, "Storm . . . create for me a rain storm to keep my plants well fed" he murmured as he tapped it lightly with his staff, "Release!"
After turning the staff back to a key, Clow lit a lamp on his desk and resumed his cleaning, forgetting about the tiny slip of paper that held the name of his final guardian, as it slipped off his desk and floated under his desk.
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And now it's Time for LEAVE IT TO DR MEGALOMANIA!!
Clow: Wonder who that could be?
DrM: Hmm?
Clow: Name on the paper. . . wonder who that could be?
DrM: I don't know. . . hmmmm. . .
[Clow and DrM sit back and press a finger against their lips, staring into nowhere as they think about it]
Hei-ying: Love of sanity. . .
Kero: Bah! As if you could talk!
Hei-ying: [ignoring Kero] . . .Please R&R!!!