Well, Hello and welcome to my Little World of Weirdness!

I state for the record that, despite the fact I really, really wish I did, I don't own any of the official characters that will grace this story; it's all CLAMP's! Always has been, always will be! I *DO*, however, own Marcibay Hilligans and Hei-ying Reed!! I also own Mystrasa Kyree, and the dragon isn't mine, it's on loan from my good friend, the Blue Goo! And what the heck . . . I own the mansion as well! [Laughs] Also I don't pretend to have any Mastery over the language of Japanese or any clue as to correct grammatical structure. I put it in and hope it gets across the point I'm trying to make! And I don't pretend to be able to write any sort of accents so please don't hate me!

"Speaking"

*Stress/emphasis*

//Thinking//

In This Tainted Soul . . .

By Dr Megalomania.

Part Twenty: Aishiteru 

Clow ran his finger along the bookshelf in his bedroom; he could never sleep properly during snowstorms and often stayed up reading some of his old magic books. He slipped some nameless book off the shelf, and walked over to his window. He flicked through a couple of pages; it was his old lecture book. His mother would make him write down nearly every word she said during their lessons together. 'To truly appreciate magic, it is not sufficient to merely to practice it. Without understanding, mistakes can and will be made.' Clow smiled as he started to hear his mother's voice, as she used to pace in front of him, 'Every entity created requires a purpose, every spell a function, Clow-san, I cannot stress this law enough, as the sun gives us day, as the moon gives us night, these principles must always be obeyed . . .' 

Clow sighed; he suddenly wished he hadn't packed these books away. He mother had taught him so well, and he could have avoided his shortcoming with Hei-ying. He shook his head and flicked a few more pages; he wasn't going to even think about his worst mistake. He leaned again the window's frame, as he remembered his mother's lessons. Always in the kitchen as she cooked, he smiled, his mother was the greatest cook in the family, she could do everything. Cook, knit, sew, comfort, teach, and love. He brushed the page softly and began to talk aloud. "The present is merely the future and the past collided. Nothing that happens happens by mistake."

That was certainly true, Clow had realised that Eriol and Sakura' presence had caused the creation of the cards and of his guardians. The visions were merely prompts, but without them Clow would have probably gone with his original plan. He had moved away from both of his parents' families because he wanted to get away from the constant reminder that he was going to create some sort of new magic that would save the magic world from being forgotten.

Clow sighed as he turned the page, his mother had taught him these things and yet, he still had regrets about things he could never change. He looked over at the mantelpiece, even after twenty years it still held an empty frame. The frame had once held a picture that Yue had once drawn for him, but it, like so many things Hei-ying had corrupted, was gone. Clow had elected to burn the picture rather than seal it up in the rooms on the fourth floor. It was too painful to even look at; the picture had the two angels on it, Hei-ying when Clow had trusted him, and Yue . . . when he had been a child. He missed that Yue, but recently had been finding himself . . . Clow smiled as he recalled the new sensation; enjoying the attention Yue was giving him now. Not that Yue's emotional development had been stunted; if anything, it had been accelerated by the attack.

Yue had almost complete control over his emotions but over the last three or four years, Clow had noticed a slight awakened hint to Yue's gaze. The moon guardian tried very hard to hide it, and Clow always pretended he never noticed, but Yue had started to notice his Master, started to notice sexual feelings. Clow smiled, he had to admit he enjoyed the look, and he did find himself doing everything he could to make Yue blush, just a little, that faint flush in Yue's cheeks made Clow's breath quicken. But still Clow never enticed Yue to him, he had made that mistake with Hei-ying, had taken him too soon, and the star guardian had come to believe that *that* was love.

He frowned and returned his attention to the book, "Nothing that happens happens by accident . . . There is no coincidence in this world . . ." His attention slipped off the book again, turning to more tempting thoughts. He would wait, wait for Yue to come to understand his feelings, then perhaps, maybe, possibly Clow would start to return Yue's affections, then they could start a quiet little relationship . . . Clow shook himself out of his daydream; his imagination was straying down that path far too many times over the last two years. He stared at his lecture book, as he finished the line.

"There is only . . . the inevitable."

A knock at his door made him look up. "Come in . . ." He frowned a little; Keroberos and Yue didn't share his problem with sleeping in snowstorms. Yue stepped in, looking faintly disgusted with himself, and slightly nervous. He paused in the doorway, the room was dark, and the light afford from his single candle lit only the bottom half of his face.

Clow almost gasped, as the crashing realisation of an old vision came forth, as a wave of melodious love, of pure affection, and of yearning desire rolled over his senses. He was suddenly overwhelmed, it was Yue. //Yue, all this time . . .// This was the vision he had spent thirty years waiting for, the vision that he had been begging to happen. The vision that had made him so angry that he ignored it, and took Hei-ying in his lust and in revenge. Yue started to blush as Clow stared at him, the angel's fingers started to fiddle with the candle's base. Clow smiled and looked out the window, the snowstorm. //Finally . . . I have my last love// he thought happily.

"Clow . . . I apologise for the intrusion at such an hour but I . . . I . . ." Yue blushed again, what was he going to tell Clow, that his moon guardian had had a bad dream and now wanted comfort like a child?

Clow smiled and looked back at his moon angel, "I'm happy you're here, Yue . . . the storm . . ." Clow swallowed, Yue was here, //He really is finally here!// He forced a calm look on his face, ". . . The storm was upsetting me . . . will you stay with me?"

At first, Yue's face betrayed a look of surprise, then it dissolved into a look of gratefulness as he realised his creator was giving him an excuse for being here, and not have to admit the truth aloud. He stepped closer, "If I may?"

Clow smiled again, "Of course."

As he closed his lecture book and slid it gently onto his beside, Yue blew out the candle and carefully set it on a nearby table. He paused by Clow's bed, as if seeking permission to get on to the silken violet covers. Clow nodded, and held back from saying 'Of course you can sleep in my bed, sleep in my arms, sleep with *me*, Yue, please . . . I've been waiting so long for you . . .'  

Yue smiled and crawled onto the bed, he had hadn't slept so close to Clow in such a long time. His body suddenly reacted strangely to the idea of being in such a proximity to his creator, Yue swallowed and hoped he wasn't blushing; he sat rather awkwardly on the edge of the bed, unsure as to how close he was allowed.

Clow smiled and opened his arms, "Yue . . ."

With almost childlike glee, Yue dived into the embrace, and pressed his head against Clow's chest. Clow smiled and raised his hands. Clapping twice sharply, the lights all went out, the shadows crawling into place quickly.

"Goodnight Yue . . ."

"Goodnight Clow." Yue sighed, he was so warm, and Clow's aura was so intoxicating, he giggled slightly. He loved being so close to Clow, it was always so welcoming. Clow chuckled as well; Yue raised his head and looked at Clow. "Nani?"

Clow squeezed his arms around his moon angel; "I like it when you and Keroberos are near." He murmured, "You're both so soft and cuddly . . . And you're purring!"

Even in the dim light, Yue's pale face could be easily seen. His gentle features always reflected light; he was, of course, like the moon. His tender amethyst eyes glowed faintly, and Clow doubted he was aware of it. The soft light in his eyes meant he was aroused, no doubt by the prospect of spending a night with his creator, the man he had been slowly falling in love with over the last few years. Clow chuckled again; his direction of thought wasn't exactly being true. Clow was the one who had been slowly falling in love; he wondered how he appeared to Yue. Lying on his back, his dark hair unbounded; Clow Reed was gazing at his youngest creation. His dark eyes were no doubt wide as they attempted to take in every detail of the angel that was propped up on one elbow, with one hand resting lightly on his chest.

Clow swallowed, his hand trembling slightly as he raised a hand off Yue's slender waist to trace the pencil thin white eyebrow. Yue breathed out slowly, as if he was afraid of ruining this moment, his glowing amethyst eyes sliding shut.

"Clow . . ." he started to whisper, "Clow . . . I . . ."

"Shh . . ." Clow smiled as Yue frowned when he lifted his fingers off his face. He moved them slightly; the first tie in Yue's soft hair undid itself and folded itself neatly on his beside. "You wear your hair so tightly, allow me to . . ."

"Yes . . ." Yue nodded slightly as Clow brought his fingers back to his angel's face. He bestowed slight kisses on the worn fingers, delighting in the rough flesh against his soft lips. "Clow . . . yes . . . anything . . ."

Clow's eyes closed a little as he repeated this process, for every tight ribbon undone, he would run his fingers over Yue's face. The angel would become more and more daring as Clow pressed his fingers against his lips. At first, he brush his lips over them, then Clow would let another tie loose, and Yue would kiss the finger. Clow battled a groan when Yue nipped at the fingers lightly. The last tie undone and Clow pulled his hand away from Yue's mouth. Yue moaned slightly, his eyes opened to reveal they were glowing slightly brighter. Clow quickly grabbed the hand Yue was resting on his chest, "Yue . . ."

Yue couldn't believe it, as Clow laced his fingers with his, and pulled his creation closer. Yue didn't think he'd ever be able to breathe again, he felt Clow's other hand stroke upwards slowly. He fought the urge to buck when Clow's hand ran over the spot where his wings would normally spurt. Clow's legs began to wrap around his leg slowly as it jerked slightly, "Steady Yue . . . let me . . ."

"Please . . ." Yue's voice moaned quietly as Clow's hand pressed slightly against the sensitive area. "Clow . . ." he squeezed his eyes shut tightly and pressed his forehead against Clow's chest. Yue was whimpering quietly, Clow knew why and he smiled as he pressed a little harder. His moon angel's teeth bit down delicately on his bottom lip as Clow directed a little magic to his hand. He unlaced his other hand and ran light fingers over his pale sharp jaw, pulling it up. Such a simple act, almost took Clow's breath away, his angel was trembling with the simple pleasure Clow provided. "Yue . . ." He ran his knuckles over the pale lips, "Yue . . . open your eyes, let me see you . . ."

Yue's eyes opened, and he breathed quickly. Frowns and smiles chased each other over his gentle features. He didn't know what to do, he wanted to tell Clow something, something that had been buried in his heart since the day he realised what it was. He moved slightly on to Clow, his mouth moving but no words would utter themselves. He frowned slightly as he watched Clow's eyes widen slightly, and his lips curve into a knowing smile.

Yue rolled off instantly, and lay by Clow's side. Slightly panting, he brought his hands up to cover his blushing face, //He felt me!// Yue sat up instantly, realising Clow could probably see how stimulated he was. "I-I-I-I'm so sorry Master Clow . . . I-I'd better get back to my own—" Yue scooted towards the end of the bed, without even glancing at the now very amused Clow. His pale feet didn't even touch the floor, when Clow suddenly wrapped his arms around Yue's waist. He turned his head slightly as Clow brushed his lips over the bejewelled ear. "Stay with me . . ."

"I shouldn't . . . I'm not . . ."

"Going to leave me?" Clow's fingers laced with his soft silvery white hair. "Yue . . . The storm's frightening me . . ." Clow pressed his face into Yue's silken white hair, the smell of lavender and ice invading his senses, he growled as his own arousal grew, "Stay with me . . ."

Yue's eyes threaten to roll back in his head, as Clow's hand pressed against his back, he threw his head back and pressed it hard against Clow's shoulder. "Clow!" Clow smiled as he moved his hand from Yue's hair, he pressed it hard against Yue's throat, allowing it to steal down the cumbersome dressing gown. He smiled as he realised Yue's hands were grasping the bed firmly.

Yue's eyes snapped open when he realised Clow was scooting back towards the pillows. He growled slightly as he turned to glare at Clow, he was painfully aroused and Clow had broken off suddenly. Clow smiled, and beckoned him closer. Yue paused, he could just dive into Clow's arms, but instead he chose to stand and walk around the bed. Clow sat up, keenly observing his bold angel, "Are you playing with me, my angel?"

Yue smiled and slowly removed every article of clothing on his back. His silvery mane every bit as fine as the small twirl of hair in Keroberos' tail, carefully hid his lean body from Clow's hungry eyes. Clow sat up straighter, when had Yue learned to be this seductive?

His long hair covered Yue climbed on to the bed, carefully making sure his every movement tantalisingly revealing but hidden at the same time. As he knelt on the soft sheets in front of Clow, the shimmering white locks pooled around him. "Clow?"

Clow tried to hold on to his mind, restrain himself from taking Yue, pulling into his arms and bestowing passionate kisses all over the angel's pale body. "Yue."

Yue smiled, and ran the tip of his tongue seductively over his cattish white teeth. "Come here . . ." He breathed, and was amazed as Clow obediently moved closer. Clow seemed focused purely on him, he enjoyed the heated gaze, and loved it even more when Clow spread his arms wide open. With almost innocent glee, Yue leapt into his embrace again. He wrapped his arms around Clow neck and stared into the dark eyes of his creator. "Clow . . . I . . ." Yue began, but found the dark eyes too mesmerising; he closed his eyes and held Clow closer. He mimicked Clow's actions as he breathed into his creator's ear, "Aishiteru . . ."

Clow didn't answer, he held Yue tighter, and pressed his lips against the pale skin of his shoulder. Yue sat back slightly, to allow Clow to kiss his way up his delicate throat. Yue gasped as he realised Clow was talking to him through his mind, // Aishiteru, Ich liebe du, J'adore, I have so many ways I could tell you . . . koibito . . . I love you!// Clow pulled back slightly, panting heavily, he licked his lips and gathered himself before he looked at Yue. He smiled, as he brushed his palms over the angel's flushed cheeks, pulled a damp lock of hair off his sweating brow. Yue's body was warm, Clow's hands travelled down his creation's body. He squeezed Yue's thighs briefly before moving his hands back up the heated angel's chest. Yue smiled, as he pressed his forehead against Clow's; "Make me your koibito forever."

Clow chuckled, and pressed his hand against the sensitive place on Yue back, as soon as the angel hissed slightly, Clow twined his fingers in the white mane, and pulled Yue's head closer. Their first kiss, their first proper kiss. Clow almost felt like dancing, Yue was going to be his, and he was going to be Yue's and then they would be together forever. Happily ever after.

The kiss was soft at first, gentle, it completely reflected the virgin that Yue was. Yue had never done this before, they were kissing, he had read about this in the library. He enjoyed it immensely, so much so that he didn't care if the world was coming to an end, as long as he and Clow remain locked like this forever, Yue would die happily. He felt Clow's hands slip down his back, one cupping him, drawing his body closer. The other slipped around the front; Yue fought the urge to giggle as Clow ran his fingers lightly over his tense stomach. //Please . . . Please touch me a bit lower . . .// Yue thought, forgetting Clow could hear him.

//Perhaps later . . . Who says we need to rush?//

//I want you now!//

Clow smiled into the kiss, //Koi . . . You are mine, as I am yours, for the rest of eternity . . . Be patient . . .// He tapped his fingers lightly against the tensing stomach. Yue jolted a bit, his excitement becoming a bit too demanding to bear.

//Please?//

Clow Reed sniggered a little at Yue's pouting tone; he broke the kiss and raised his hand to cup Yue's cheek. "Aishiteru . . ."

Yue's eyes were very gently as he leant into Clow's cupped hand, "Please . . .?" He murmured, "Please . . ."

"What are you asking for?" Clow smiled with amusement.

Yue slid off his Master's lap and stared at him, Clow blushed slightly as he watched look down his body, taking in everything. Yue sighed, and then drew in a breath as if preparing himself. Clow raised an inquisitive eyebrow as Yue began to lean forward, then he realised what the angel's aim was, "No!"

Yue jerked up quickly, "Master?"

Clow's face darkened quickly then cleared just as quickly, "You will never call me Master in bed . . . I love you," He pulled Yue closer again, "When we are together like this, we are equals . . . understand?"

The angel stared at him quietly, understanding this gift Clow was giving him, he smiled, "Then how am I to please you then, Clow?"

Clow turned slightly and gently pushed Yue down, he leant over his angel quickly, "Wait here a moment . . ." then the magician rolled out of the bed, and quickly walked over to his chest of drawers. Yue lay, staring up at Clow's canopy, it was a deep purple, Clow's favourite colour, and had a gold embroidered version of Clow's magic circle. Yue sighed happily, as Clow bounced back on to the bed. He laid a small dish of some oily substance carefully on the bed. "What is that?"

Clow dipped a finger into it, "It's to make things easier between us . . ." He paused and looked at Yue very seriously, "Are you sure?" Yue smiled, and turned over; he knew what was going to happen to some extent, he had read about things like this. Pressing his head into the pillow, he braced himself for the first shock. Clow noticed Yue clenched his teeth as he nodded, "Yue . . . my angel . . . Relax first . . . I won't touch you, or it will hurt more . . ."

Yue breathed out and smiled as Clow rubbed his back in small circles, the magician hummed gently. He felt Clow play with his hair a bit, deliberately press on the wing joint and the flow of magic he directed to his hand as he did, he also felt Clow's other hand pass gently over his lower back, getting lower until he felt a cold finger dip into him.

Clow leant forward and kissed Yue's head as the white haired angel's back arched back, "Shhhh . . . it's okay, please my angel . . . Relax . . . shhh . . ." He pulled Yue's long locks out of the way and turned Yue's head so he could see his face. The angel's face creased in pain as Clow pushed his finger deeper then cleared and smiled encouragingly as Clow retracted it.

A few more moments of loving preparation, and Clow smiled as Yue pushed back against him. Yue's heavy eyelids opened as Clow retracted his fingers entirely, "Wha . . .?"

Clow smiled as he moved behind Yue, kneeling between the long pale legs. The angel's voice was leaden with desire as he sat up too. "Clow . . .?"

"Shh . . ." Clow murmured as he grasped Yue's hips firmly, he noticed he was becoming drunk with passion as well, "Turn around . . ." Clow ordered quietly, "Turn around . . . I want to see your face . . ."

As Yue turned, Clow leant forward to kiss his angel; the two were on the verge of being complete. Yue eagerly pressed himself against Clow, ready to take whatever Clow would bestow on him. The dark haired magician smiled and pulled back, he raised his hand again and cupped the angel's face again, "I love you . . ." Clow confessed again, Yue dipped his head and blushed, Clow shook his head, and lifted Yue's face to him again, "I love you . . . so much . . . I never want to be without you ever . . ."

Yue lifted his hand to Clow's lips, and whispered gently, "You won't ever know what it is to be without me . . ." He promised, " . . . I won't ever let you . . ."

Before the night was over . . . Clow promised himself as he gazed at his loving angel, before the night was over he would drive Yue insane with pleasure.

Clow's eyes widened as this thought crossed his mind, what if he really did drive Yue insane? Like he did Hei-ying?

"What is it?" Yue asked as Clow turned his face away, "What's wrong?"

"I can't do this to you, Yue . . ." Clow pulled him closer, "I can't risk this happening again, I love you too much!"

"What do you mean?" Yue pushed back from him and searched his face. "Why are you doing this? Is there something wrong with me? I thought . . ."

"Shh . . ." Clow brushed his fingers over Yue's lips, "Shhh . . . it's alright." He raised his hand in front of Yue's face, "I love you . . ." he closed his eyes and raised the hand in the 'Stop', he was unwilling to watch Yue's betrayed eyes slide shut as he fell unconscious.

Clow hurriedly got off the bed; he didn't look at Yue as he waved his hand in his direction. Yue's clothes and hair ties quickly attended him; Clow knew he wouldn't be able to see this through if Yue was still undressed. He pulled on his discarded dressing gown and walked quickly over to his dresser; there was a cool basin of water ready there.  He was going to wash his face, cool down, before he faced Yue again. He delved his fingers into the water, but paused as he heard voices from behind him. He looked at the window; the snow had slowed down substantially, yet it was still a storm. "A vision? After all this time?" Clow murmured as he turned, "What more could you possibly tell me?"

He wasn't in his own room anymore; in fact he was outside, in a shrine of some sort. It held some magic power, centred mostly on the moon. He smiled slightly; Yue would find this place very comforting.

"Leave me alone!" Clow spun at the sound of Yue's voice, who was hurting him?

"Yue! Come here, just let me . . ."

"I said leave me *alone*!" Yue didn't sound like he was in any pain; Clow moved towards the small hiding bushes, he sounded more like he was upset.

"Look, I can be just as stubborn as you!" The unfamiliar voice sounded again, "you're upset and you're upsetting Keroberos, and Keroberos is upset so *both* of you are upsetting the kaijuu!"

"I am not upset!"

"Then how come you stuck halfway through your transformation?" Clow finally found them; a tall dark haired boy was standing next to a floating cocoon of Yue's white fluffy wings, the boy was trying to pry the wings apart. "What was it you saw in that pond?"

"I'm not stuck and that's none of your business!" Clow frowned slightly at the tone of Yue's voice, Yue was very upset. Clow wished he would let the dark haired boy comfort him.

"Yue! Come out here this minute! "

"Since when did I pronounce you the Card Master?! Go away!"

"Yue! Out or I'm coming in!" There was a pause as Yue tried to hide a laugh, the dark haired boy smiled as he realised that Yue was softening, "I'm deadly serious, I'm coming in, and then I'll drag you out if needs be!"

The was another pause before Yue's wings started to peel back, Yue stood, floating a few inches off the ground. He looked upset and amused at the same time, "I saw Clow . . ."

"Wasn't that good?"

Yue landed and made his wings disappear, he turned away, "It was, but then it wasn't . . . I . . . I . . ." He turned back to the dark haired boy, "I love *you*." The dark haired boy blinked, as Yue turned away again.

"I love you too," the dark haired boy wrapped his arms around Yue, "I've told you this so many times . . . I have always loved you and Yukito. Both of you mean everything to me."

Yue's face creased as the dark haired boy confessed this, "I know, I know, we both know . . . but Clow . . ."

The dark haired boy pulled a hand up and cupped Yue's cheek, he leant closer towards Yue, "He's gone . . . but I'm here, let me. . ."

Yue didn't let him finish as he pushed up on his toes and kissed the boy. Clow watched with infinite sadness, as he realised that Yue was very practiced at kissing this boy, "So this is the one . . ." Clow murmured as the vision began to fade, Clow smiled as he watch Yue's face soften, losing all of his sadness and indulging in the love this other held for him.

Clow swallowed as he returned to his room, he gazed at Yue, who was now fully dressed, sleeping lightly on the covers. "Sleep card . . ." he murmured, "Place Yue in a slumber so deep that every word he hears from me will be imbedded in his mind, but he will always dismiss as a mere dream . . ."

As the sprightly fairy dusted Yue with her glowing blue dust, Clow climbed on to the bed again. He knelt and clasped his hands in his lap. He wasn't sure how to begin, he thought briefly of quoting some great poetry, some great literature piece that would sum up what Clow had to say, but none seemed adequate. "Yue . . . I love you, but I can't risk the evil that struck down Hei-ying to take you . . ." he brushed a soft lock from Yue's face, "I wouldn't be able to cope with losing you . . . if only I had listened to Mister Hilligans, huh? Then I would be so happy with you . . . I could just hold you in my arms for the rest of my life and then some . . . but I can't, I *won't* . . ." He paused, and took a couple of quick breathes, not caring that he was beginning to cry, "But don't worry, while I won't be able to show you how much you mean to me . . . you will be well taken care of, you will find a love so much better deserving of you . . ." Clow snorted cynically, "Because there will be someone else you will love, someone else, another . . . someone purer than this tainted soul . . ." he smiled as he brushed his finger over Yue's lips, "And he will take my place within your heart . . ." He shook his head, "I was wrong, so very wrong . . . I chose the wrong angel for the wrong reasons and now . . . I'm going to lose you . . . but I love you . . . Yue, I love you . . ."

Keroberos pushed the door slightly open, he'd just woken up, when he realised that Yue wasn't in bed. He'd panicked at first, but then realised Yue was in Clow's bedroom. He listened quietly as Clow made his tearful confession.

"I always . . ." Clow leant over Yue and brushed one last wistful kiss over the pale lips he had longed for, for so long, ". . . Will . . ." Clow sat up and dried his eyes; he stared at Yue for a short while before raising his hand. Waving it over Yue's face, he murmured a simple spell. "Forget . . . Forget, every kiss you have given me . . . Forget, every word of love you have given me . . . Forget this night of passion, and remember simply that you came here for comfort . . . wake tomorrow and know you have received this calm . . ." Clow paused as another fragment of an old vision came back. Again the vision of the day when he will Yue and Keroberos that he was going to die . . .

Yue instantly looked up, he fought a short battle with himself, and chose to fall to his knees by Clow's chair. He picked up Clow's hand and started to press it against his face. Clow leaned towards him, the smell of fresh snow and lavender emanated from Yue; he ran his fingers into the silken hair, "Then why?" Yue sobbed finally.

Clow murmured his response, "Because I am sick of knowing everything that has happened, that is happening, that will happen."

"But I love you!" Yue cried then flinched as if he had committed some terrible sin. He looked down in shame; Clow slid his fingers under the angel's chin and pulled it up gently. "I knew this as well . . ."

Clow's eyes closed as he realised that the next time, the first time from Yue's point of view, and the last from Clow's that Yue would ever tell Clow that he loved him would be the last day of his life. He suddenly felt a great pain in his heart, Yue's love for him would always be in his eyes, but Clow would never be able to acknowledge it . . . forever, like a drowning man could see the surface of the water, forever Clow would be able to see Yue's love but never touch it . . . he suddenly understood the tale of Midas.

"Clow . . .?"

Clow's eyes snapped open as Keroberos' voice sounded close by, the lion was sitting on the end of the bed. He looked at him, "Never again . . ." he said, "He won't remember a word I have said, or at least he will never believe it . . . and you are not going to tell him . . ." 

Keroberos sighed, "You have a lot of problems, Clow . . ."

Clow nodded, still staring at Yue as he completed the spell, "That I have . . ." he drew a quick breath, "I've made the worst mistake of my life . . . and I will always regret it . . ." he looked at Keroberos, the guardian's eyes reflected sympathy and regret too, "But I wonder is this . . .?"

"It's the right decision . . ." Keroberos padded closer and sat beside his creator, he put a heavy paw on his arm, together they stared down at Yue, who slept on; unaware of the pain Clow was suffering.

"It's the right one . . ."

-------------------

And Now It's Time For LEAVE IT TO DOCTOR MEGALOMANIA!!

Clow: [falls to knees] NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Yue: What's wrong?

Keroberos: [jabs Clow in ribs] Shh! He doesn't remember!

Clow: [sniffles] Yue please leave for moment . . . [Yue shrugs and steps out for a second, Clow turns on DrM] I was so close, how could you?!

DrM: 'Cause I am a wimp and can't write really good yaoi! Everyone else's is soooo much better . . . and anyway . . . it's so much angsty when you don't get any . . .

Clow: bitch . . . bitch, bitch, bitch! And for the dude at the back taking notes, Dr Megalomania is a bitch!

DrM: [chuckles] And your point is? [Turns to readers] I know, I know . . . not enough . . . but come on; I had to get the title in somewhere! And a big arigato to Mateem Bluewing's 'Season Kaleidoscope' and Beautiful Midnight's 'Winged Salvation' for the sensitive wings thing . . . If you haven't read those story, go, go now . . . yes, *now* and read it . . . and then come back later and leave me a review . . . please? Oh, and then go back and leave both a review and Demand that A. Mateem add more 'cause it finished prematurely and B. Winged Salvation get updated!! . . . what can I say? I'm really impatient . . . what have you go to say, Clow?

Clow: [grouchy] Please R&R and demand she re-write it! Or better yet, demand that she finish writing and post the next part of unrequited 'cause I've seen that and I definitely get it on there!! [Sighs] But still give the hard-nosed, wimpy bitch a review anyway . . . [Pointedly] even though she should be shot for wimping out again . . .

 DrM: [Sighs]

Clow: What now?

DrM: This is the last DrM bit for this story . . .because well, I can really explain it, but it's the run up to the last chapter and the set up to the next story . . . so I can't really put any author's notes on the end of the next four chapters . . .

Clow: [to Kero and Yue] Bet she breaks and adds a chapter dedicated purely to A/N's! [Yue and Kero nod]

DrM: Bet I don't!

Kero: Ah, no . . . She'll break before then and fix it so she can put author's notes on it anyway . . .

DrM: You're so mean! [To reader] Please R&R!! Until next time, Hon na na!!