Dedicated to Dee-chan.
Author's Note: Edited some of this…and have reached the end of my patience with my computer.
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The garden of the Ohtori mansion was flooded with lilies in the spring. And they were tended to in such a careful, gentle manner by Kanae's mother that she could sometimes sense her father's jealousy.
Thin, pale, and allergic to just about everything, Kanae's father was almost always ill for some reason of another. His confidence was only to be found at Ohtori academy. At home, he said little and read often.
He could tolerate the lilies, but they were never allowed in his office. Very little was allowed in his office.
The only time he had ever raised his voice was when Kanae had crept in one night and sat at his desk coloring in pictures in her sketchbook. She had never made that mistake again.
Kanae shook her head trying to let memories go as she glanced at the lilies by her window that she still had yet to throw away.
She couldn't bring herself to do it, but she had to. There was no way they could stay after all. They looked so sad. The petals were beginning to fade and drooped as though wincing at how easily they were to be abandoned.
Winter had retreated and the lilies beginning to emerge from the soil when her father's health had begun to take a sharp turn for the worst. Even for him. He spent more time in the study and coughing then anything else.
Kanae regarded him with sad eyes whenever he appeared at dinner, skin ridiculously pale, and eyes shining a strange dark green. He would push his blonde hair from his face and smile at her weakly. It took everything in her not to cry.
It had been an oddly cold spring day when she had been allowed in her father's study for the second time ever to the best of her recollections.
Her mother had been the one to tell her. She smirked after she had relied the message for Kanae to go to the study. Her mother's brown eyes had pierced her though her main focus was still the frosted lilies that she was defending for the cold. Kanae had shivered the cold feeling more intense the longer she tried to hold her mother's gaze. She bit her lip almost drawing blood and she had gone inside.
The house was oddly silent when she entered and took off her shoes. She whispered that she was home, though no one was there to care.
Slipping off her coat, she stared up at the two ornate and spiraling staircases in the very center of the house. They wound around each other like snakes. One lead to the west wing with the bedrooms, the east wing was mostly her father's world. The library was the furthest place down that hall that she had ever been.
It felt draftier than usual and she wished she had put on something warmer than the white cotton dress she was wearing. Her fingers clasped the white silk scarf around her neck and she had breathed in the soothing fragrance of the vase of lilies by the top of the stairs. She remained there until she knew hesitating any longer would be rude.
Once she reached the dark red door of her father's study, she knocked gently and was surprised when a purple-haired Indian girl with glasses flashed her a mostly vacant smile and ushered her in.
She glanced around nervously at the painting of her grandfather and grandmother in the corner before looking over at her father and.....
She forgot just about everything the first time she saw Akio. Except his eyes, shining with genuine amusement like twin stars...though in the corner of them, there was something darker.
"Konnichiwa(1), Kanae-san," he said before the effects of his gaze were interrupted by her father's coughing.
Kanae had blushed and looked down. Unsure what to make of this man whom she had never met but looked at her in such a familiar way.
Her father had told introduced them and told her that her wanted her to make dinner.
She nodded agreement and went back downstairs.
She had sensed something more was meant by everything that had just happened. Throughout preparing dinner, she had felt like invisible eyes were watching her. She tried to brush it away, but she couldn't help feeling nervous.
Her father and Akio looked rather pleased with themselves as they sat down to eat. Her mother had been icy and unpleasant particularly in her direction when she had shakily spilt some of the soup onto her mother's plate rather than into the bowl on top of it.
Anthy had quickly taken over the task while Kanae sat down next to Akio uncertainly.
She focused on the lilies in the center of the table and wished for dinner to be over as soon as possible. Wishing for everyone to just go away when she felt her hands being gently squeezed.
She looked up at Akio who gave her a small smile before moving his hands back to his side as the servants made themselves useful cleaning up the plates.
Her father gave her a sincere smile that made her even more nervous, saying in strained voice, "That was very good, Kanae-chan."
"A-arigatou(2)," she managed.
"Onii-sama (3) cooks very well too," Anthy said with a smile that baffled Kanae entirely. She couldn't bring herself to look at her for more than a few seconds. Something troubled her about Anthy though she had no idea how to articulate this.
Then, her father had made the announcement and everything else that night had been a blur.
She remembered them leaving though. Her mother had given Anthy some lilies which she accepted in icy politeness.
Kanae had felt too much like she was drowning to say anything at all, even when her father prompted her to say good-bye.
Her father had given her a reproachful look when Akio laughed.
"She's had a long day, ne?" he had said on her behalf. "It's all right. She'll have more to say tomorrow hopefully when Anthy and I drive her to school."
Kanae had nodded dumbly and left the room. She had paused at the staircase leading to the bedroom but her feet didn't seem to have the will to move.
"Upset, Kanae-chan?" Her mother had said smiling.
"No..just..." she shook her head unsure what to say.
"He's a nice boy. He'll be a very good match for you, I'm sure," her mother had said, eyes gleaming.
Kanae had nodded on the verge of tears. Perhaps with the small grain of pity her mother possessed she sensed it. She squeezed Kanae's shoulder rather tightly, digging in her nails.
"It'll work out, dear. Why, your father and I had an arranged marriage and look how well we're doing."
There was a pause and her mother started to chuckle.
Kanae had blinked back tears telling herself her mother was just drunk.....but....the words stung so sharply that she forced herself to begin moving up the stairs lest her mother add anything.
Her mother sank down on the steps laughing loudly before dissolving into something more like crying. Kanae heard the shattering of a vase, and turned around watching water run down the tiles like transparent blood. The lilies lay strewn about, victims of her mother's rage. She turned and saw her father climbing the stairs to his study indifferently.
Maybe Akio was right. Maybe she should throw the lilies away, Kanae thought beginning to cry in the present moment.
~TBC~
Good afternoon Thank you(3) Honorable older brother