Chapter three- Another Stab In The Heart
Trowa Barton sighed softly as he sat down in the stands.
The place was littered with filth from the crowd. The tent had been full only an hour ago. Business was great, peace was great, but something was missing.
Sure yea he had his sister Catharine Bloom and the whole circus crew but he missed the pilots.
And he missed his best friend, Quatre. He hadn't heard from Quatre in such a long time, not even the others kept in touch.
He was surprised not to hear from Duo almost every week.
He had called the first week after peace was brought and talked to him about his future. Duo did most of the talking while he listened.
Duo was a great guy, but Trowa knew he had a secret he wasn't willing to let out. He wasn't sure what it was, but it was something.
Trowa sighed again and slid off his mask that covered half his face. They had another night. Tomorrow night was supposed to be the biggest circus night they would have in years.
Trowa stood from the stand and moved out of the janitor's way as he walked by cleaning the mess up.
Trowa turned and stuffed his hands in the pockets of his green pants. The pants, were the circus's, along with the mask and spandex straps.
Trowa turned and started down the bleachers and jumped down to the dirt below. He crossed the center of the tent, heading towards the backstage. He had to practice his act along with everyone else.
Trowa replaced the mask on. As he entered the dressing room, Catharine Bloom stood from her vanity.
"Trowa wasn't it splendid. You saw all those people and there'll be more tomorrow night. This is so great!"
Trowa nodded. He never talked to her, but she usually understood. He was one of those people who liked to keep to himself.
Catharine dark blue eyes sparkled; her reddish brown hair curled and brushed her shoulders. Her star earrings glittered from the lights.
Trowa stared into her face and suddenly realized how much she meant to him. She had saved his life twice and he had done nothing in return.
She stopped him from self-detonating; absently Trowa rubbed his cheek.
And then when he lost his memory, she was there and took him in even though he had left her to fight. And he had done it again when Quatre came.
Trowa sighed and turned from her and stared at the mirror.
His reflection. The image of him, it was who he was, just a half. His auburn hair cut short in the back his bangs long that came down and hid the only revealing dark green eye.
"Trowa what's wrong?"
Trowa turned to Catharine, "Catharine...would you like to go out to lunch?"
Catharine smiled, "yeah I'd like that a lot Trowa. Let me go get dressed first."
Trowa slid into the booth across from Catharine. From a strangers point of view it would look like a couple out on a date.
But to Trowa, it was just him, taking out his only living relative to lunch. He loved his sister a lot but he never showed it.
Catharine looked around them at the elegant restaurant. "Wow Trowa. How did you get us into this place?"
Trowa shrugged and opened the menu. Catharine followed his example.
She stated, through the plastic covered paper "Why did you ask me out to lunch Trowa?"
Trowa set down his menu. He already knew his order. He stared down at the front page; it was of an Italian dish with fancy wine and breads shaped into hearts and stars.
"I...I just thought that I owed you...but I wanted to spend time with you to."
Catharine set down her menu already, she had selected her dish.
"You owe me? Trowa I owe you. You saved the circus, saved my job. What did I do for you?"
Trowa looked into her face. She was so much like a sister to him. But they weren't blood related. His family died long ago and he had lived in the orphanage most of his life. Then he became a pilot, joined the circus and met her.
That was his life and now it was all based around her and her alone. She cared for him. She took care of him when he needed her most or even refused it. She had been there when he had even pushed her away.
Trowa locked her eyes with his, his mask was gone, and now he couldn't hide anything anymore.
Instead of the clown suit he wore faded blue jeans, and a black shoulder sleeve shirt. His hair styled in the usual.
He cleared his throat, "you saved my life Catharine and I'm forever in your dept."
Catharine laughed, "I didn't save your life Trowa. I just knocked some sense into you. You never thought about the people who cared for you, or who'd miss you, ya know. I had to tell you before you took fate into your hands."
Trowa shook his head a soft smile playing on his face. "That's it Catharine. You cared for me. No one ever did, my whole life. I never had a mother, father or brother, not even a sister. You took me in and claimed me a part of your family."
Catharine sighed and shook her head at the nonsense of the whole topic.
"Catharine that meant a lot more to me than anything... I'm sorry."
Catharine frowned, "Sorry? For what?"
Trowa pulled his gaze from the table to back to her face, then to the window behind her. "I'm getting to emotional. And this is Our Lunch to spend together."
Catharine took Trowa's hand and placed it between her palms. "Trowa it's alright to get emotional. It won't kill you. Just because that boy acted on life without his emotions, his true emotions..." She had stopped him from interrupting her with Heero acted on his emotion speech. "Doesn't mean you have to. You are your own person. A good person in fact."
Trowa pulled his hand away as the waiter approached them.
"May I take your order ma'am, sir?"
Catharine replied, "I'd like the Italian pasta and meatballs and a coke to drink."
The waiter nodded and wrote it down before turning to Trowa.
Trowa sighed and stated calmly, "Mozzarella cheese on plain noodles, a side dish of sauce and a coke to drink."
The waiter nodded once, wrote the order down and left them alone.
Trowa sat back in his seat. One hand on the table the other on his thigh. His gaze stared out the window next to their table.
Catharine sighed and crossed her arms over her chest and sat back. She waited for the food to arrive.
Trowa glanced out from behind the tent wall and stared at the crowd. It was larger than last night. He was slightly impressed by it.
Catharine came up to his side, "Wow look at all those people Trowa. We'll have to do an excellent job for them all."
She turned and left his side. Trowa turned and walked towards the lion cage. He knelt down and stared into the lion's eyes.
"Ya know you don't actually want to get to close. You never know when one of those things get hungry."
Trowa's back straightened. He slowly turned his head to the side and glanced over his shoulder.
"Duo."
"Trowa."
Trowa stood and turned to face the braided haired pilot.
"..."
Duo grinned, "Ya I know long time no see. And you want the 411 as to why I'm here...yea well..."
"Hey Trowa come on, we're on."
Catharine paused, when she saw Duo she deeply frowned, at the site.
Trowa stated, "I'll talk to you after the show Duo."
Duo shrugged, "yea sure whatever, I've only got a five days, so oh yea take your time."
Trowa raised an eyebrow in questioning, as he followed Catharine out of the dressing room.
Duo was sitting in the corner of the room when Trowa entered the room alone.
He was drenched with sweat after the acts. The crowd must have loved it with the uproar they put on. Trowa really had gotten a life here at the circus.
Trowa turned to him, a towel in hand as he wiped the sweat from his face and bare chest.
Duo stood as Trowa asked him calmly, "why are you here Duo?"
Duo sighed, "I wished I knew buddy. But I got a call from Dr. J."
Trowa sighed and turned from him his shoulders slumped.
Duo growled, "Hey do you think I wanted to come out here. Hell yes but on better reasons. I'd like to come here and maybe say Hey Trowa buddy, Merry Christmas, or Happy New Year. But I didn't want to come here and take you away from your life. But I have one week to find you, Q-man and Wu-man. Hee-man will find us I guess. And we are to go to Earth and give Relena a visit."
Duo rubbed his forehead, "I'd rather run from Hildi when she's PMSing then be here doing this to you and the others."
Trowa replied, "I understand Duo. It's not your fault. I'll pack my things and meet you at the carrier. In thirty minutes."
Duo nodded, "alright buddy see ya then."
Duo turned and walked out.
Trowa sighed and threw his suitcase on the vanity. He grabbed his things and stuffed them inside.
More missions, and more wars, when would it all end? They had only months to relax this time and it was going to start all over again.
"Your going to fight again aren't you?"
Trowa looked up in the mirror to see Catharine. He wished he didn't have to hurt her again. Or make her worry anymore about him.
He gave her a curt nod and snapped his suitcase shut.
He turned to see Catharine in the doorway. Tears fled from her dark eyes. They were already red from earlier tears.
He sighed; it hurt him deeply to see her like this. He damned Duo for this and he damned Dr. J for all the pain he would cause.
"Catharine, I'm sorry."
"I know you are. You always are."
Trowa frowned and dropped his suitcase. He stepped up to her and wrapped her into a tight hug.
She was startled and went rigid in his arms. He nuzzled his nose in her hair and breathed in deeply. He was taller than her and that gave him a better advantage. To him she was like a little child lost and alone.
"A wise person once told me that I should act on my emotions. It's not bad to be emotional, it won't kill me, and she told me this many times. But I never believed her never thought about it till now."
Catharine let out a whimper that broke into a choked laughter. "Don't go Trowa, please."
Trowa grasped her arms and pulled back. He bent his head down to look her in the eyes, "I'll always be here Catharine. And I promise, once this is over I'll come back. I always did, didn't I?"
Catharine numbly nodded, "but every time you do there's something wrong. The first time you couldn't remember, and second time you drew up into yourself and wouldn't speak to me."
"I wont do it this time Cathy. I love you and I wont hurt you, not anymore."
Catharine choked on a sob as she drew back into his arms and held on tightly.
"I love you to Trowa."
Duo drummed his fingers on the armrest of his seat.
His eyes were blurry and he found it hard to keep from crying. He stared at the little ear devise he had taken out earlier.
Yea he knew how mean it was to eavesdrop on conversation. But what he had heard in the dressing room... Catharine and Trowa...god it broke his heart.
He had almost, called Dr. J back and wanted to say to him to go fuck himself. But Trowa had stated he'd comeback and he wouldn't hurt her anymore.
Duo planned that he would also help him keep that promise, even if it meant his life.
Duo crushed the earpiece between his thumb and index finger. He dropped the fragment onto the floor.
Duo looked up and saw Trowa step onto the carrier, right on time.
Wordlessly Trowa put his suitcase up above and sat down next to Duo. He stared at the seat in front of him as he buckled his seatbelt.
Duo frowned; he had drawn back up into himself. He sighed and looked out the window.
The flight attendant then spoke through the speaker, "thank you ladies and gentlemen for boarding accordingly as asked and found your seat without any problems. I'll be your flight attendant for the duration of your flight. In about four hours we will arrive on colony L4. Thanks again."
Trowa glanced at Duo with a frown. Duo winced, "yea I know, but Q-man has to come."
Duo looked back out the window and chose to stay quiet. He was still trying not to cry.
Trowa Barton sighed softly as he sat down in the stands.
The place was littered with filth from the crowd. The tent had been full only an hour ago. Business was great, peace was great, but something was missing.
Sure yea he had his sister Catharine Bloom and the whole circus crew but he missed the pilots.
And he missed his best friend, Quatre. He hadn't heard from Quatre in such a long time, not even the others kept in touch.
He was surprised not to hear from Duo almost every week.
He had called the first week after peace was brought and talked to him about his future. Duo did most of the talking while he listened.
Duo was a great guy, but Trowa knew he had a secret he wasn't willing to let out. He wasn't sure what it was, but it was something.
Trowa sighed again and slid off his mask that covered half his face. They had another night. Tomorrow night was supposed to be the biggest circus night they would have in years.
Trowa stood from the stand and moved out of the janitor's way as he walked by cleaning the mess up.
Trowa turned and stuffed his hands in the pockets of his green pants. The pants, were the circus's, along with the mask and spandex straps.
Trowa turned and started down the bleachers and jumped down to the dirt below. He crossed the center of the tent, heading towards the backstage. He had to practice his act along with everyone else.
Trowa replaced the mask on. As he entered the dressing room, Catharine Bloom stood from her vanity.
"Trowa wasn't it splendid. You saw all those people and there'll be more tomorrow night. This is so great!"
Trowa nodded. He never talked to her, but she usually understood. He was one of those people who liked to keep to himself.
Catharine dark blue eyes sparkled; her reddish brown hair curled and brushed her shoulders. Her star earrings glittered from the lights.
Trowa stared into her face and suddenly realized how much she meant to him. She had saved his life twice and he had done nothing in return.
She stopped him from self-detonating; absently Trowa rubbed his cheek.
And then when he lost his memory, she was there and took him in even though he had left her to fight. And he had done it again when Quatre came.
Trowa sighed and turned from her and stared at the mirror.
His reflection. The image of him, it was who he was, just a half. His auburn hair cut short in the back his bangs long that came down and hid the only revealing dark green eye.
"Trowa what's wrong?"
Trowa turned to Catharine, "Catharine...would you like to go out to lunch?"
Catharine smiled, "yeah I'd like that a lot Trowa. Let me go get dressed first."
Trowa slid into the booth across from Catharine. From a strangers point of view it would look like a couple out on a date.
But to Trowa, it was just him, taking out his only living relative to lunch. He loved his sister a lot but he never showed it.
Catharine looked around them at the elegant restaurant. "Wow Trowa. How did you get us into this place?"
Trowa shrugged and opened the menu. Catharine followed his example.
She stated, through the plastic covered paper "Why did you ask me out to lunch Trowa?"
Trowa set down his menu. He already knew his order. He stared down at the front page; it was of an Italian dish with fancy wine and breads shaped into hearts and stars.
"I...I just thought that I owed you...but I wanted to spend time with you to."
Catharine set down her menu already, she had selected her dish.
"You owe me? Trowa I owe you. You saved the circus, saved my job. What did I do for you?"
Trowa looked into her face. She was so much like a sister to him. But they weren't blood related. His family died long ago and he had lived in the orphanage most of his life. Then he became a pilot, joined the circus and met her.
That was his life and now it was all based around her and her alone. She cared for him. She took care of him when he needed her most or even refused it. She had been there when he had even pushed her away.
Trowa locked her eyes with his, his mask was gone, and now he couldn't hide anything anymore.
Instead of the clown suit he wore faded blue jeans, and a black shoulder sleeve shirt. His hair styled in the usual.
He cleared his throat, "you saved my life Catharine and I'm forever in your dept."
Catharine laughed, "I didn't save your life Trowa. I just knocked some sense into you. You never thought about the people who cared for you, or who'd miss you, ya know. I had to tell you before you took fate into your hands."
Trowa shook his head a soft smile playing on his face. "That's it Catharine. You cared for me. No one ever did, my whole life. I never had a mother, father or brother, not even a sister. You took me in and claimed me a part of your family."
Catharine sighed and shook her head at the nonsense of the whole topic.
"Catharine that meant a lot more to me than anything... I'm sorry."
Catharine frowned, "Sorry? For what?"
Trowa pulled his gaze from the table to back to her face, then to the window behind her. "I'm getting to emotional. And this is Our Lunch to spend together."
Catharine took Trowa's hand and placed it between her palms. "Trowa it's alright to get emotional. It won't kill you. Just because that boy acted on life without his emotions, his true emotions..." She had stopped him from interrupting her with Heero acted on his emotion speech. "Doesn't mean you have to. You are your own person. A good person in fact."
Trowa pulled his hand away as the waiter approached them.
"May I take your order ma'am, sir?"
Catharine replied, "I'd like the Italian pasta and meatballs and a coke to drink."
The waiter nodded and wrote it down before turning to Trowa.
Trowa sighed and stated calmly, "Mozzarella cheese on plain noodles, a side dish of sauce and a coke to drink."
The waiter nodded once, wrote the order down and left them alone.
Trowa sat back in his seat. One hand on the table the other on his thigh. His gaze stared out the window next to their table.
Catharine sighed and crossed her arms over her chest and sat back. She waited for the food to arrive.
Trowa glanced out from behind the tent wall and stared at the crowd. It was larger than last night. He was slightly impressed by it.
Catharine came up to his side, "Wow look at all those people Trowa. We'll have to do an excellent job for them all."
She turned and left his side. Trowa turned and walked towards the lion cage. He knelt down and stared into the lion's eyes.
"Ya know you don't actually want to get to close. You never know when one of those things get hungry."
Trowa's back straightened. He slowly turned his head to the side and glanced over his shoulder.
"Duo."
"Trowa."
Trowa stood and turned to face the braided haired pilot.
"..."
Duo grinned, "Ya I know long time no see. And you want the 411 as to why I'm here...yea well..."
"Hey Trowa come on, we're on."
Catharine paused, when she saw Duo she deeply frowned, at the site.
Trowa stated, "I'll talk to you after the show Duo."
Duo shrugged, "yea sure whatever, I've only got a five days, so oh yea take your time."
Trowa raised an eyebrow in questioning, as he followed Catharine out of the dressing room.
Duo was sitting in the corner of the room when Trowa entered the room alone.
He was drenched with sweat after the acts. The crowd must have loved it with the uproar they put on. Trowa really had gotten a life here at the circus.
Trowa turned to him, a towel in hand as he wiped the sweat from his face and bare chest.
Duo stood as Trowa asked him calmly, "why are you here Duo?"
Duo sighed, "I wished I knew buddy. But I got a call from Dr. J."
Trowa sighed and turned from him his shoulders slumped.
Duo growled, "Hey do you think I wanted to come out here. Hell yes but on better reasons. I'd like to come here and maybe say Hey Trowa buddy, Merry Christmas, or Happy New Year. But I didn't want to come here and take you away from your life. But I have one week to find you, Q-man and Wu-man. Hee-man will find us I guess. And we are to go to Earth and give Relena a visit."
Duo rubbed his forehead, "I'd rather run from Hildi when she's PMSing then be here doing this to you and the others."
Trowa replied, "I understand Duo. It's not your fault. I'll pack my things and meet you at the carrier. In thirty minutes."
Duo nodded, "alright buddy see ya then."
Duo turned and walked out.
Trowa sighed and threw his suitcase on the vanity. He grabbed his things and stuffed them inside.
More missions, and more wars, when would it all end? They had only months to relax this time and it was going to start all over again.
"Your going to fight again aren't you?"
Trowa looked up in the mirror to see Catharine. He wished he didn't have to hurt her again. Or make her worry anymore about him.
He gave her a curt nod and snapped his suitcase shut.
He turned to see Catharine in the doorway. Tears fled from her dark eyes. They were already red from earlier tears.
He sighed; it hurt him deeply to see her like this. He damned Duo for this and he damned Dr. J for all the pain he would cause.
"Catharine, I'm sorry."
"I know you are. You always are."
Trowa frowned and dropped his suitcase. He stepped up to her and wrapped her into a tight hug.
She was startled and went rigid in his arms. He nuzzled his nose in her hair and breathed in deeply. He was taller than her and that gave him a better advantage. To him she was like a little child lost and alone.
"A wise person once told me that I should act on my emotions. It's not bad to be emotional, it won't kill me, and she told me this many times. But I never believed her never thought about it till now."
Catharine let out a whimper that broke into a choked laughter. "Don't go Trowa, please."
Trowa grasped her arms and pulled back. He bent his head down to look her in the eyes, "I'll always be here Catharine. And I promise, once this is over I'll come back. I always did, didn't I?"
Catharine numbly nodded, "but every time you do there's something wrong. The first time you couldn't remember, and second time you drew up into yourself and wouldn't speak to me."
"I wont do it this time Cathy. I love you and I wont hurt you, not anymore."
Catharine choked on a sob as she drew back into his arms and held on tightly.
"I love you to Trowa."
Duo drummed his fingers on the armrest of his seat.
His eyes were blurry and he found it hard to keep from crying. He stared at the little ear devise he had taken out earlier.
Yea he knew how mean it was to eavesdrop on conversation. But what he had heard in the dressing room... Catharine and Trowa...god it broke his heart.
He had almost, called Dr. J back and wanted to say to him to go fuck himself. But Trowa had stated he'd comeback and he wouldn't hurt her anymore.
Duo planned that he would also help him keep that promise, even if it meant his life.
Duo crushed the earpiece between his thumb and index finger. He dropped the fragment onto the floor.
Duo looked up and saw Trowa step onto the carrier, right on time.
Wordlessly Trowa put his suitcase up above and sat down next to Duo. He stared at the seat in front of him as he buckled his seatbelt.
Duo frowned; he had drawn back up into himself. He sighed and looked out the window.
The flight attendant then spoke through the speaker, "thank you ladies and gentlemen for boarding accordingly as asked and found your seat without any problems. I'll be your flight attendant for the duration of your flight. In about four hours we will arrive on colony L4. Thanks again."
Trowa glanced at Duo with a frown. Duo winced, "yea I know, but Q-man has to come."
Duo looked back out the window and chose to stay quiet. He was still trying not to cry.