Rurouni Kenshin OVA (Independent Series)
"Dominating Fate"
By: Goddess Nekko
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Disclaimer/Warning: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin or any of its characters, I just felt like creating my own OVA series, and so I will. Do not bother to sue me, I have no money anyway - and I will NEVER give up my Tomoe and Kenshin doujinshis!!!!!! So… yeah. This chapter is pretty much PG, if that, though it does contain a swear word or two. However, in the future you can expect another lemon and probably an R-rating for violence. You can blame the war for that!
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Author's Notes: Hello! Sorry this has taken me so long, but I was getting behind in school and working and yeah you probably think I'm making it all up and I'm lazy, but I wasn't being lazy about the fic! Just everything else and that's why I have this little setback *hem*… Anyway, I fixed up the first two chapters, and I can't stress enough that if you read chapter 2, you should give it a second read! I am MUCH happier with it now! As should Clay be since I fixed the, well, not-so-good references of certain things. I must add, as well, this chapter will really be digging deep beyond the surface of Kenshin and Tomoe, and the struggles they face within themselves outside the relationship. A lot of this is my own idea, since the OVA's don't even hint about the real pain and confusion they both were going through, and I hope you go into this with an open mind and heart. Anyway, please review at the end, and I ask this because when there are no reviews, how can I know that my efforts are worthwhile, that people are reading it or like it? Even if you don't like it… Please just supply SOME kind of feedback… Well, I'll shut up while you enjoy, please read on!! (I'm SO HAPPY NOT TO BE SICK ANYMORE!!!!!! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!! *was convinced she was dying LOL*) My apologies as well to Raphie and Midori who have really been supporting me and been so patient with me! Thanks guys!
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Chapter 3: The Sacrifice of Living in a Lie
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Tomoe sighed softly, consciousness slowly creeping into her senses. Her body felt heavy, trying to decide whether to return to slumber or prepare for the day, when she was startled into wakefulness feeling a hand move lightly against her hip. Eyes wide open, she stared into the blur of early morning. As she blinked away the haze, her eyes rested upon the gentle face of her lover, realizing it was his hand upon her, twitching in sleep. She smiled lightly, his face glowing in the early light cast just before sunrise, drawing her attention to the strand of hair lying across cheek. With gentle fingers she carefully moved it away from his skin, loving the tranquil look upon his face.
I would believe what happened was a dream… if I was not feeling your warmth now, feeling your arms around me… so close to you…
Another soft sigh and she let her eyes roam the room, spying the pile of clothes lying in a bundle by the door. She then looked upon Kenshin, wondering if he would wake if she tried to move. With a feather-light touch she trailed a finger over his cheek, across his lips, watching him curiously. His breathing remained soft, steady, almost silent even in the still, hushed morning.
Experimenting, she wiggled, trying to get free of his loose embrace. She didn't want to leave his arms, but her curiosity wouldn't allow her to keep still. As she moved, his hold merely tightened, yet it slacked moments later as the initial reflex faded. Pulling away from him slowly, she took his hand and set it in the vacant space where she had once been laying, nestling the blanket over his upper body.
For a few long moments she simply watched him, ignoring the mild chill in the air. She watched the slight rise and fall of his chest, the way his fingers would twitch, as if trying to reach for something… He looked absolutely peaceful. She smiled, relieved she had not disturbed him.
She watched him for moments more before she silently began to rise, soothed by the content picture he made, until suddenly she found herself falling backward on her heels as Kenshin shot up from the futon, piercing golden eyes staring into her own. Gasping for breath, Kenshin haphazardly threw the blanket away from him, those devilish eyes never once hinting to look away, to free her of his threatening glare.
Tomoe clutched her yukata tightly, the fabric just over her heart, silent as her eyes remained locked with his. Yet, Kenshin blinked as he held her gaze, the dangerous golden glint swallowed and obscured by oceans of glittering sapphire. He watched her for mere moments before he lowered his face, hiding himself beneath a deep red curtain of bangs. She noticed his shoulders shake slightly, his body tensing, gripping the blanket beneath his fingers in such a tight fist his knuckles became white.
"Anata…?"
Kenshin made no reply, his body heaving steadily with each deep breath he took, silently gasping for air. Tomoe's eyes softened into a sad expression, feeling responsible for whatever had pulled him so brusquely from the tranquility of sleep. She moved to him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders as she gently pulled him to her. He didn't resist her urgings in the slightest, lying his head almost limply against her shoulder as he leaned into her, his hot breath falling against her neck. She tightened her hold around him, reaching to take one of his hands in her own, relieved as he quickly responded with a firm grip. He was whispering something of which she couldn't understand, feeling his body begin to tense once more.
"Shh, my love… I'm here… I'm with you…" she murmured, stroking his back comfortingly. She was becoming fearfully worried by his every action, by the silence and confusion. She continued to console him, wordlessly murmuring to him until she felt him begin to relax against her. Relief calmed her senses as she felt him inhale deeply, releasing his worries on a soft breath through his parted lips.
"Aa… You are still here…" he whispered, relief dominant over the tone of dread in his voice. Yet, Tomoe did not miss the almost helpless sound of his voice, the fear, still a bit shaken but yearning to comfort him. She wondered what could have caused him to act in such a way, and though she had initially decided not to intrude, her heart could not rest until she knew what had affected him so.
"Anata… what's wrong? Was it a dream?" she inquired quietly, gently, stroking the loose strands of his hair as she gazed upon his crimson head. The simple action eased him, sensation promising he was awake and away from the dreams that so cruelly played upon his insecurities. Yet, he said nothing for long moments, about to apologize for his delayed response when he was silenced by a soft melody.
Tomoe continued to stroke his hair, humming the soft tune of a lullaby he might have heard as a child, if he could remember such things… He was thankful she hadn't pushed him into an explanation, to admit his deepest fears… His soul ached at such devoted, loving attention. He wanted to answer her, but found himself unwilling to disturb the beautiful sounds flowing from her lips, dimly hearing words within the soft tune. He realized then she was… she was singing for him…
Such a beautiful, gentle voice… Koishii…
"The clouds are gray, your heart is frightened… My love I am but a whisper away from your heart… So close, and I am always there to guide you… You are my love, my life, don't be scared… The storm will cease, the clouds will pass… My love I am but a whisper away from your heart…"
His fingers entwined through hers, Kenshin raised their locked hands to his lips, kissing the delicate white fingers of his wife. Finishing the verse, Tomoe gazed upon him softly, wondering. Yet, when he looked upon her, she let out a relieved breath finding a small smile adorning his face.
"That's beautiful… Did your… mother sing that to you when you were a child?" Kenshin asked in a quiet voice. He was worried that the subject would be painful or saddening for Tomoe, but she answered him with a slight smile and affirmative nod of her head.
"Yes, before she died," Tomoe confided softly. Kenshin's eyes widened slightly, lifting himself up and watching her curiously.
"Sumanu, I did not know…" he apologized. Again he was simply met with Tomoe's tender smile. She gazed down at the hand still holding hers, stroking over his fingers as she sought to continue.
"There is no way you could have known, it's all right… It was about nine years ago. She used to sing it to me when I was young, and after she died giving birth to my little brother, I often used it to get him to sleep," she replied, absently playing with his ring finger. He noticed that her eyes seemed to look past them, to see the life she used to have.
"You had a little brother?" he questioned softly, trying to read her expression. He could still remember what she had said the first night they met…
If I had a family to go back to, do you think I would be out drinking by myself so late…?
Perhaps… she had lost him too…
"Yes. I believe that there is much we do not know about each other…" Tomoe observed, her face betraying no signs of pain, of sadness… of anything. Kenshin wanted to ask her more about her past, but judging from her detached response, he felt it best to let her decide when she wanted to tell him. He then took a deep breath, his gaze wandering from her face to their hands. She had confided in him, and in turn he felt he should - no, could - do the same.
"Tomoe… this morning… I awoke, but I… didn't feel you near me. It struck me then that something might or could happen to you, whether it be my fault or someone else's, and I realized I have a great fear of… I… I'm afraid of losing you," Kenshin admitted, gripping her hand firmly as he stared at the floor.
Tomoe's eyes widened slightly, shocked by his words. He had awoken trembling, out of breath, all because he had almost lost her to some inner battle. She realized then, remembering his eyes, he had been angry. Not saddened or hopeless… He had been enraged.
Battousai… I think I finally understand the control that darkness has over you… So this is how you can kill without hesitation, without mercy… Can I really be a sheath to control you, as Katsura-san had said…? How can I when it is so strong inside you…? My soul tainted by revenge, my corrupt ideas… You wish to protect these, because you wish to protect me… I've come to realize that you don't value yourself, you don't value your own life, but now you want to live for me… You wish to atone, because you want to be worthy of life… I have been so wrong, and still I can't tell you the truth… I could not forgive myself if I was the cause of any more death…! But, when I am so weak in my own heart, how can I protect you…?
"Tomoe…! Tomoe!"
Broken from her thoughts, Tomoe's eyes fell upon Kenshin. There was worry shaping his every feature, and he carefully reached to touch her cheek, lightly caressing the soft skin. Yet, a silent gasp escaped Tomoe's lips as she realized the reason for his action feeling the clear, shining tears, so warm as they streamed down her cheeks. She met Kenshin's gaze, and inwardly he flinched.
"What's wrong? Why are you crying?" he asked, his voice unsteady, betraying his feelings of upset and anxiety.
Why do you look at me with such pity, such sadness… such pain?
Unable to find words, Tomoe threw herself into his arms, and Kenshin held her as she broke down into sobs, her tears soaking into the fabric of his yukata.
How can I…?! How can I control you?! How can I help you, when I myself am so weak…?! I've never wished to be so much for one person, but I want to give you everything! I'm so sorry…! I am so sorry for deceiving you…! Your death cannot avenge Akira-san, but the death of Battousai… Oh Gods, please… Please give me the strength to help this man fight the demon buried deep within his soul… I love you, Himura Kenshin, and I will not let things end the way I had planned…!
"Anata…!" Tomoe breathed, fighting against the sobs, letting the hot tears slide over her flushed face. If she could give him a life worth living, surely the light of his soul could dominate the darkness…
Kenshin's arms remained wrapped tightly around her, unwilling to let go. He closed his eyes, nuzzling his face into her hair as he waited for the pained tremors to subside. He had admitted he feared losing her, and in turn she had been silent. She had been silent until he called for her, trying to bring her back from the thoughts that were making her pale… and then the tears had come…
"Tomoe? What's wrong?" he asked, his voice wavering, his tone low. In answer she carefully turned her head, placing a kiss to his cheek. She then buried her face against his shoulder before he could attempt to meet her gaze, leaving him without answers. He was upset she wouldn't confide in him, exhaling as he gently pulled her back down to the bed, holding her protectively against his chest. He decided, at the very least, he could hold her until the pain passed. He could not, however, leave the situation as it was.
"Koishii… what thoughts pain you so much?" he asked quietly, unwilling to let the matter go. In answer she cuddled against him, taking a deep breath as Kenshin began consolingly stroking his hand over her hair, raven silk that had escaped its confines sometime during the night. She embraced him tightly before letting go, forcing her eyes shut to act as a barrier against the sobs lingering inside her heart.
"I… I have the same fear…" Tomoe whispered long moments later. Kenshin's gaze remained soft, hearing the pain and desperation of her voice hidden within the undertone. There had to be something more, something she wasn't telling him, but as of the moment he was left to wonder. Yet, he was not satisfied with merely holding her… He hated not knowing, he hated that she was in pain… He hated how helpless he felt…
I can't let you stay silent…
"I don't know what hurts you… I don't know if I have caused it or something else… Yet, no matter what the problem, please let me help you. As your husband, tell me what it is that causes you so much pain," he pleaded softly, the title strange as it left his lips, but comforting nonetheless. Almost instantly Tomoe pulled away from him, sitting up, her hands fisted in the blanket beneath them as her head hung weakly. Kenshin lifted himself, propping himself on his elbow, his breath constricting in his chest from her reaction to his words. He kept his face emotionless, confused by her actions, uncertain as to what they might mean. And, he realized, he was once again unable to read her…
She sat silently, face hidden by a veil of black silk. Kenshin was becoming utterly distressed until moments later when his eyes widened slightly, met by the glittering almond of her own, shocked by the strange, painful smile just barely shaping her lips. His body remained stiff as she brought her hand to his face, lightly caressing his cheek.
"My heart… my heart is what causes me so much pain… This heart that worries for your future, that worries for your life… How can we…" she paused, her hand falling to grip his shoulder. "How can I be part of your life, when you don't think your life is worth protecting?"
Kenshin's lips parted in a silent gasp, staring into the eyes of his lover, his savior. Yet, his heart gave a painful jerk from the truth in her words, and he found nothing but sorrow in her eyes as he searched for support, something to grab on to. Unable to face this, unable to face her, he jerked his head aside. Such a strange feeling washed over him, a silent agonizing torture much worse than any physical wound.
A long silence followed her words, making Tomoe uneasy. She could not speak, she could not move, she did not know what he was thinking. She did not know why she had spoken of her silent thoughts. She feared he was angry with her now… Yet, she realized suddenly, when she had even first seen him the foundation of her plan had been shaken. That first night, the way he stared at her after he looked up from the kill. Those eyes were so dark, so clouded, so cold… But more than that, there was regret that flashed dimly in those hungry, relentless midnight pools whence he had taken the life. Those same eyes had been shocked and indecisive when he had met her gaze, told he made it rain blood, as she stumbled towards him. You saw it too, didn't you, Akira-san…? The compassion hidden by a killer's face…
Tomoe then found herself reaching out to him, her expression soft and loving, needing to see those eyes… Needing to see the man who had stolen her heart…
Kenshin flinched slightly feeling the warmth of her hand upon his cheek, but when he turned his head to face her, he found his strength. The undying love, the understanding shimmering through the darkness of her eyes - she was reaching out to him. Pulling himself up, he wrapped his arms around her, fitting her small body against him. He rested his chin against her shoulder as her delicate arms reached to hold him, slim fingers threading through his hair as they embraced each other.
"I'm sorry… I have been speaking thoughtlessly… Please forgive me…" Tomoe whispered, her voice soft as her hot breath tickled his ear. He had been so worried, so upset, and he scolded himself for doubting her. His hold tightened, savoring the warmth of her body against his own.
"No, koishii… You're right… I have been running from the truth for too long, but I… I cannot deal with it yet… When the war is over, I want to face your words. I want to confront my own heart… But until then, please… Please be patient with me…"
I still need the answers tomorrow can bring…
Tomoe was surprised by his words, but deep in her mind she knew he could not continue to kill, to be active in the war, without the part of him that gave him the merciless, inhuman strength he required. More so than ever did she hate the war, yet, she hated even more the irony that had become painfully apparent to her… For Kenshin to keep his sanity - Battousai was essential. So many people had gone crazy with grief, with anger, because of the blood and death flooding the capital. Battousai was the only way for him to block out that pain, to numb himself as he took life after life. That cold persona had been given a title, always to be the shadow of the man she loved.
Kyoto will never forget him… will always hold such a dark history, dark memories, in the hearts of those who have seen the chaos…
"I can, and I will, my love," Tomoe whispered. The simple words eased the pain that had been mounting in Kenshin's chest, and he leaned back, his heart beginning to steady. He gazed into Tomoe's eyes and for long moments they simply indulged in the warmth of each other's company and understanding.
"I'm so happy… to have you as my wife," Kenshin whispered with a small smile, inclining his head to steal a kiss from his lover. Tomoe smiled softly, comforted by his words, and ever so gently she met his lips. The warmth tingled against her flesh, the kiss made unbearably sweet by the emotion and resolution it signified. Tomoe promised herself she would find a way to undo what she had planned, and no matter what she would have to do, she would not let Kenshin's life be taken.
"Tomorrow… tomorrow we should go into the village," Kenshin commented as he leaned away from Tomoe, his warm, careful hand caressing her soft cheek, seeking to call her thoughts to a lighter subject. She smiled fondly, curious yet too distracted to ask of his sudden suggestion, faintly nodding as she moved her face into his touch. Kenshin smiled lightly in response, unable to resist kissing her once more. For long moments they lingered, lips caressing lips, Kenshin's hand carefully stroking over her hair.
"Yes, we still have medicines to sell," Tomoe acknowledged as she placed one more kiss upon his lips, gazing upon him softly as she began to rise to her feet. "I'll start breakfast now."
"Aa."
Quietly, as they had always done, Kenshin rose to make the fire as Tomoe set to put away their futon before preparing their meal and tea. His gaze continuously wandered from his task to Tomoe as the flames built, appreciatively noting once again with what grace she folded their futon, sliding it back into its inconspicuous place before she moved towards him. Routinely she lifted the small kettle from its place above the fire, moving to the tiny area of their kitchen and filling it with water before replacing it.
Kenshin grinned to himself, simply watching as she began to prepare the rice and vegetables with practiced grace and attention. Tossing another log on the fire, he walked up behind Tomoe, placing his hands on her slender hips. She smiled, but continued to slice the vegetables with precision. Kenshin felt relieved she no longer had tears in her eyes, eagerly returning to the familiar routine born over the period of several months they had been living together.
"It seems we had a successful first harvest," Kenshin observed as he watched her carefully handle each ripe vegetable.
"I willingly admit I was surprised by your abilities in farming, but I am quite thankful for it," Tomoe replied with a smile. Kenshin grinned, nuzzling her hair for a moment before taking a step back. Tomoe handed him the herbs for the tea and he poured them inside the heating water.
"The one thing for which I can thank my father," Kenshin noted absently, moving to the small dresser near the back of the house and retrieving a robe that would suffice for the day's chores. Tomoe cast him a glance over her shoulder, but said nothing as she brought the vegetables to the table. She watched Kenshin curiously, but he seemed lost in thought as he knotted the tie around his waist, habitually reaching for his katana before he realized he didn't need it.
"Don't wander, I'll be done soon," Tomoe voiced as Kenshin headed toward the front door. He turned and grinned, giving her an acknowledging nod of his head before sliding open the door, stepping out into the beautiful morning. The slight breeze caressed him as he walked toward their small garden. He hoped that if there were any irreparable damage, it would be minimal. He decided then, as well, that while they were in town he would try to find another crop to experiment with before the winter set in.
Looking upon the grounds he found that there were only a few places still flooded, nothing that couldn't be repaired with the right amount of care. He glanced toward the sky, white clouds floating weightlessly in the endless blue, no longer threatening. For today at least, Kenshin knew the weather would be astounding. Should the weather remain as it was, the trip into town would be a welcoming one. He smiled fondly then, his thoughts suddenly drawn to memories of the day before. He recalled vividly Tomoe's slender, alluring body entrusted to his movements… Her sweet voice pleading as she whimpered his name…
Kenshin took a deep breath to steady his thoughts. The wind danced by, tugging lightly against wild, crimson hair, reminding him of gentle hands eagerly pampering him…
Tomoe…
He gazed over the lands for a short while longer, willing himself not to think of what had happened that morning. Yet, could he really ignore the truth set before him, of which he had been blinded to before? He felt stronger knowing Tomoe was by his side, ever ready to support him with whatever he did, always responding with such understanding…
Each day Kenshin found himself longing for a normal, simple life. They could live quietly in the country, or in a city if she preferred. They could have a home to call their own, take part in everyday life without a suffocating fear of the future. He imagined walking with her in the evenings, quietly enjoying each other's company, worries light and distant… Yet, for the time being, these were simply fantasies. The war still hung like a black cloud over the lands, and Kenshin knew deep in his heart he would have to kill again. He would have this dark past, dark title, to follow him for the rest of his life. However, Tomoe somehow saw past the bloodshed, helped even himself see the truth of what he could be, how he could change, the life they could live…
Kenshin breathed deep of the morning, his soul resolute, his thoughts clearer than they had ever been. He gave the sky one last gaze before he returned to the house, finding Tomoe setting the finishing touches upon their meal. She kneeled at their small table, pouring the tea as he approached. When she looked up to him he smiled, moving past her to a small chest and taking a dark strip of fabric from it, easily pulling his hair into a high ponytail.
"After a bit of work today, we should be able to salvage a good portion of the crops," Kenshin informed Tomoe as he sat down with her, reaching for his tea.
"I'm glad. I was afraid the rains had come on too strong this year," Tomoe replied softly, watching as he sipped the warm liquid. She couldn't help but smile when she looked upon him. Over time she had come to notice how drastically his features had changed since they began living in the country, his practiced narrow eyes and stiff posture much more relaxed, his eyes glittering with life. Part of her wished she had said nothing that morning, but another part of her was thankful they had been able to share their fears, to learn to confide in each other. Her heart felt light knowing that when the war ended, there was a real life awaiting them - a thought that could always make her smile.
Lifting his chopsticks and bowl, Kenshin contentedly partook of the meal his wife had prepared. Even with the limited availability of spices and meats, Kenshin always found himself savoring every bit of his wife's cooking that fell upon his tongue. It was much better than anything his master had ever made, and simply knowing she had made it herself, just for him, each bite tasted better than the first.
"Would you like to buy a new kimono tomorrow?" Kenshin asked, causing Tomoe to look up suddenly from her bowl. She finished eating what food she had in her mouth and looked at her husband with surprise.
"A new kimono? I don't need one," Tomoe refused graciously. Kenshin had expected such a response from her and grinned.
"I'm sorry that we could not have an official wedding, and I'm not sure when we could, but I wanted to do something to celebrate," Kenshin replied, setting down his bowl and smiling upon Tomoe. He watched as her eyes brightened, though she set her gaze upon the table.
"I couldn't…" she protested quietly, but Kenshin continued to grin with subtle amusement.
"Well, wouldn't you like something new to wear when I take you into town? Forget about the medicine, we can have a day just for us," Kenshin replied. He was delighted as Tomoe met his gaze, a small smile playing upon her lips. Though the town was a modest abundance of simple houses, it was also home to a lovely restaurant and a few shops. Yet, more than that, being in such a neutral, quiet town they were free to indulge in life as a normal couple. For the first time they could truly enjoy themselves.
"If it would make you happy, I cannot refuse," Tomoe replied, earning a deep grin from Kenshin. Carefully she lifted her cup and sipped her tea, trying to hide the immense pleasure she felt from the plans Kenshin spoke of. Yet Kenshin did not miss her telltale smile, overjoyed with her response.
They finished their meal in a content silence, Tomoe gathering their bowls and cups and washing them in the small basin near the front of their home. Kenshin then rose to his feet, grinning.
"Delicious, as always, koishii," Kenshin complimented as he walked up beside her. Tomoe smiled softly, continuing the cleaning.
"When I'm done with this I'll tend to our clothes," Tomoe stated, causing Kenshin to glance toward her.
"I can't let you. As I said, I was the one to start that, so I don't mind having to clean up afterward," he replied. He grinned as she shot him a mildly disapproving look, but simply kneeled to retrieve the clothes.
"What about the garden? If you start on the garden, I can finish up here then take the clothes to be washed and join you when I am done with that," Tomoe offered, her tone leaving Kenshin with little room to argue. Kenshin chuckled inwardly as he rose again to his feet, leaving the clothes untouched. If she so insisted on doing the chose, then who was he to say differently.
"Alright, if that's what you prefer," he replied with tender amusement, sliding open the door and reacquainting himself with the morning. Tomoe smiled to herself as she finished cleaning the dishes, walking to her small dresser and taking out a pale violet kimono. Quickly she dressed, feeling an overall giddiness and excitement thinking of tomorrow. With practiced grace she tied back her long raven hair, gazing at her reflection in the small hand mirror she owned, confident her appearance was acceptable before walking to the door and gathering the clothes into her arms. She walked outside, breathing deep of the glorious morning, gazing upon Kenshin who was kneeling near one of the rows of sprouting seedlings. He looked up, smiling as he returned her gaze, Tomoe's eyes glittering with contentment as she then turned to walk the short distance to a nearby stream perfect for their daily tasks of cleaning and fetching water.
The sun shines brighter, the air smells sweeter, the wind is more welcoming than I ever remember…
Kneeling down, she first took hold of Kenshin's gi. The navy cloth was covered in a layer of dried mud, clumps falling off intermittently as she inspected it. Dipping it into the water, she rubbed the cloth together, searching the bank for the soap she had forgotten the day before. Sure enough it was where she had left it, and scrubbing the gi, she watched as the mud disappeared.
The stain of blood can also be washed away, anata…
Pulling the gi from the water, she watched as the crystal droplets glittered with sunlight as they dripped from the fabric. The simplicity, the beauty, Tomoe was struck again by the reality of how precious life truly was. For so long she had immersed herself in hopelessness and anger, forgetting that it was the delicate balance of happiness and pain, joy and sadness, that gave people the will to live. It seemed a cruel irony that a heartless assassin had been the only one capable of reopening her eyes to that delicate truth.
Tomoe trailed her fingers over the navy fabric of Kenshin's gi before setting it aside, letting her gaze linger upon the stream, the shimmering water holding her attention for long moments before she found herself smiling fondly to some passing thought. Reminded of her chore, she lifted Kenshin's hakama from the pile and submerged it into the water, carefully scrubbing as she had done the first, making sure to clean away every last smudge. Such pleasant memories began dancing into her mind, bidding her only belatedly to hear someone calling to her. Looking up, she gasped, eyes widening in surprise as her smile vanished.
"Nee-san! Nee-san!"
Tomoe's breath caught in her throat, watching as a young boy sprinted towards her. Her body felt paralyzed as she recognized the person fully - her younger brother, Enishi. She could only stare as he ran, grinning, up to her. Her eyes softened as the young boy gazed upon her, delight evident in his features as he kneeled down beside her. His dark hair, those emotional young brown eyes - they were easily identifiable as siblings.
"Enishi…!"
"It's been so long! I've finally found you, nee-san!" Enishi exclaimed exuberantly. Tomoe was in shock, had never suspected she would ever see him again. So many questions flooded her mind, and forgetting the clothing, she embraced her younger brother.
"Let's go up to the house, we can talk there," Tomoe replied, rising to her feet. Enishi's smile widened, rising as she bundled the clothes and began carrying them back to the house. He followed readily, his young legs quick beneath him.
"You can come back home, nee-san! Finally!" Enishi chanted, seeming not to notice Tomoe's detached response. She watched him, her eyes curious but alarmed. How could he have found me? She felt relieved, joyous to see him, but a more dominant feeling of dread crept upon her. Even more so as they approached the house and Enishi froze.
Kenshin had noticed the slight movement in the distance, watched as Tomoe approached with a child at her side, his mind curious. He walked towards them, confused as the boy looked towards him, his eyes narrowing to insolent black slits. Tomoe looked strange as well, almost pale, and Kenshin instinctively followed them into the house as she made eye contact with him, unconsciously begging for help.
The boy seemed to ignore Kenshin as they entered, strategically keeping himself positioned between Kenshin and his sister. Kenshin observed him silently, unable to shake the surprise he felt from the sudden, unannounced visitor. From the looks of him, however, he could guess he was part of Tomoe's family.
"Would you like some tea, Enishi?" Tomoe asked quietly, already beginning to prepare another pot. Enishi simply nodded, watching Battousai attentively. Casually Kenshin moved to stir up the fire, settling himself at the table once he finished and Tomoe set the kettle over the flames. He had decided upon seeing them that he would wait for Tomoe to speak first of the situation.
"Enishi, why don't you sit down?" Tomoe suggested. As she had suspected, Enishi took one look at Kenshin and made no motion to go near him.
"I'll wait for you," he replied in a decisive monotone, and true to his word, did not move from the spot until Tomoe moved to sit, pouring tea for both he and Kenshin. Her brother then sat down beside her, staring into his tea if not at his sister. As her gaze wandered between the two, she couldn't help but notice Kenshin's baffled, confused look was still dominant on his features, feeling somewhat at a loss of how to explain things. Though, she knew, she must come up with something to ease the tension mounting in the room.
"Himura-san, this is my brother Enishi. I had sent him letters from Kyoto and he has tracked me down somehow," Tomoe explained quietly. It felt awkward using such an honorific with his name, however she could think of no other way to address him in front of her younger sibling. Kenshin flinched inwardly from the distance the simple word put between them, but it was also that which told him the situation was a complicated one. Accepting her position for what it was, he observed the two for moments more before deciding on an action.
"You two probably have much to talk about. I'll be outside if you need me," he voiced in a low tone, politely excusing himself. Something just didn't seem right, but if that should be the case, he would have to wait until Tomoe was ready to tell him so. She had seemed relieved when he had left them, and again he couldn't shake the chill from the cold look the young boy had given him. He also couldn't shake the disturbing truth of how the young man's eyes reminded him gravely of Tomoe's when he had first chanced to look upon her…
"Enishi, how did you find me? And who has been taking care of you?" Tomoe asked, worry dominant in her soft tone, speaking only as the door slid shut behind Kenshin. The grin that formed upon Enishi's face was unsettling, enough to send a disconcerting wave of fear over her body.
"When you left to Kyoto, I followed you. I found the man who hired you to help destroy Battousai, and I am here to tell you it's time. They have a meeting place set, and I'll tell you how to get there," Enishi explained, the disturbing grin still on his face.
Tomoe's body froze. The sting of reality penetrated through her entire body, and with her husband's smiling face in her mind, she leaned down to Enishi and cupped his face in her hands.
"Enishi, please, go back to Edo. Take care of father and forget about being involved in this," Tomoe pleaded softly, but in answer Enishi roughly jerked away from her touch, staring up into her eyes as his shimmered darkly with anger.
"What are you talking about?! I'm not leaving without you!" Enishi protested, shocked by his sister's words.
"Enishi, please, go back home. That is the best thing you can do for me right now," Tomoe responded softly, her gaze falling to the floor. In answer Enishi grit his teeth, unbelieving of the words she spoke.
"Nee-san… What's wrong with you?! He should die! That man should die! He is the one who stole your happiness - he is your mortal enemy! How can you let him live after what he's done?!" Enishi demanded, fisting his small hands as he struggled to understand the foolishness of his sister's words. Tomoe was stuck silent by his heated exclamations, knowing the truth in them well enough.
"You are too young to understand. This situation is beyond my control, and now I must find a different way to resolve things-"
"He is Battousai! Have you forgotten?! He destroyed your life - destroyed ours! How can you stand to even look at him?!"
Taking a deep breath, Tomoe gently took her brother into her arms.
"I'm sorry you feel you must come here and be part of this. I have failed you if you think this is right, that this is just. Akira-san's soul cannot simply find peace through the death of this one man. He is like any man in the world," Tomoe attempted to explain. Part of her feared saying anything directly about her relationship with Kenshin, knowing that surely her cold recruiter Tatsumi would force it out of him. She knew deep in her heart what she had done he could never understand. She herself may never understand, however, Kenshin was her husband. She became his wife because they shared a love much deeper and more passionate than anything she had ever felt before.
"Why are you talking like this?! Why are you defending him?! I don't understand you at all!" Enishi proclaimed, staring dejectedly at the floor.
"I'm so sorry you have had to go through this Enishi, but please forget about it and go back to Edo. My heart can never rest until I know you are safe with father," Tomoe replied softly, looking upon her brother with a pained look. He scowled immensely, though as he sat with his legs crossed, hands fisted in his lap, his anger seemed to cool slightly.
"I want you to come back," Enishi stated, brown eyes shadowed. "I want you to have your revenge."
"Enishi, I promise that when I have found closure, not simply for me but for Akira-san, I will return home and watch over you until you are old enough to begin your own life. Until then, you must remain in Edo. Kyoto is a very dangerous place now, and I don't want you near it," Tomoe instructed softly but with growing authority. Enishi sat staring at his feet, pulling at the hem of his sleeve.
"Fine. But promise me as soon as this is over and Battousai is gone we can be a family again," Enishi began. "I never want to see anyone hurt you ever again."
"I know it's been hard for you to watch this happen, but promise me you will return to Edo. Tatsumi is a very dangerous man, and he should never have even considered recruiting you," Tomoe replied, beginning to hate the man more than she ever thought possible.
"Fine, but I will tell you, after the second snow in winter Tatsumi-san wants you to meet him in a small shack on the mountain to discuss Battousai. It's simple to find if you follow the path to the west," Enishi added, looking up at his sister. He could almost snarl, finding her face so cold and detached.
"Enishi, I want you to take something to father so he knows that I'm alright. Can you do that for me?" Tomoe requested softly. Enishi merely frowned.
"Battousai's the one who stole the warmth from you… I would kill him myself if I could," Enishi threatened. Tomoe's eyes widened.
"Enishi, I forbid you to talk like that! Death is not something to take lightly!" Tomoe stated, shocked by the darkness that had fallen over her brother. His mouth formed a lop-sided grin as he watched her.
"And what about Battousai? He doesn't even give his victims a second thought! He's a demon, a damn worthless-"
"Enishi! Stop, please!" Tomoe pleaded. Once again her brother's horrid grin turned into an even darker scowl.
"What is it you want me to give father? I can't stay long," Enishi informed his sister. Deep in his heart he wished for nothing more than to protect her, absolutely livid at the idea she would now wish to defend such a damnable demon of a man. Yet, he respected her, finding himself unwilling to deny her the small request, though he would not return to Edo unless she was with him. He believed she could overcome this sudden foolishness and return to him. Yet, Tomoe looked upon him sadly, placing her hand upon his. At first touch, his hand twitched as though he would jerk it away, but he ultimately left it in her care.
"Enishi, I have come to realize that the yearning for revenge is a deep flaw in a person's character. It blinds you to the truth, makes your heart cold and hard. I don't want you to go through that kind of suffering. Yes, he did steal my happiness, but in turn I found out things about him I could never have fathomed were true. I cannot explain these things to you, it is horribly complicated, but I only beg you forget what has happened and concentrate on building your own life," Tomoe whispered softly. Enishi couldn't ignore the seriousness of her voice, the desperation, watching with dark eyes as she stood. He hoped these things she had found out, that she spoke of, would be beneficial to Battousai's undoing - blindly believing she was still intent upon leading Battousai to his death. He watched her walk to a corner of the house, carefully lifting her umbrella into her hands. She gazed upon the deep, rich purple for a moment, tracing a finger over the folded cherry petal design before returning to her brother.
"This is what I want you to take to father, and tell him I am alright. No one else can watch over him now, and you being the eldest male child of the Yukishiro family must stay with him whilst I cannot," Tomoe explained on a gentle breath. Enishi released an indignant exhale, but gave her a slight nod of his head as he accepted the object into his care.
"You know I don't care about our family name," he replied flatly. In response Tomoe merely watched him with sad eyes.
"I know you don't mean that, Enishi," she replied, walking him to the door. He continued to frown as he slipped into his sandals, Tomoe embracing him one last time as she stood there with him, sliding open the door and walking out with him.
"I hope you come to your senses," Enishi stated in a low angry tone, clutching the umbrella to his chest, his hateful gaze falling upon Kenshin as he looked towards the two. Kenshin simply watched, betraying no signs of acknowledgment to the irate expression the young boy cast his way.
Tomoe could say nothing as he turned on his small feet and began to walk away, frustration still evident in his young face. She looked toward Kenshin then, yet he had already returned to working the field, his back to her as he carefully reset the soil, tool in hand.
Tomoe's lips were a thin line of upset as she returned back inside the house, lifting Enishi's untouched cup of tea. Her mind quickly reminded her how thin he looked, of his disheveled black hair, how lifeless his eyes had become. Lifeless until the dark glitter of revenge danced into his gaze. It was a look a child should never hold…
Glancing towards the clothes once again left in a pile by the door, she lifted the two garments she had washed, walking to the back of their small home where a line had been put up for the laundry. Carefully she hung them, hands sliding over the dark fabric of Kenshin's gi, painful thoughts lingering of her brother. Her chest hurt painfully, knowing full well that the time she feared with all her heart, the time she would have to confront Tatsumi, was quickly drawing nearer. Maybe, when she traveled to the designated place, she could lie to him and save her husband. Deep in her mind she knew it was a risky decision, probably destined to fail, but she latched on to the single hope that she could save his life. She realized then, she still had to explain to Kenshin about her brother. He seemed to accept her earlier explanation, but she knew he was not satisfied with it.
Tonight, she decided, she would be able to come up with something by tonight. Returning to the house, she slid open the door and grabbed her clothes, gazing upon Kenshin as she began the walk back to the spring. His back remained to her, enveloped in his chore. She felt relieved he was giving her time to herself, almost as if he understood the amount of upset it had caused her. Or, suppose he didn't, simply unsure how to approach her. In any case, she needed the time alone.
The stream rippled in its familiar fashion, and Tomoe dropped the clothes to the ground, kneeling on the soft grass. She gazed at her reflection in the crystal clear water, the picture broken by the movement of the stream, though she already knew she must look in a bad condition. Dipping her fingers into the water, the cool liquid stroked against her skin, and for a moment she lost herself in the soothing serenity of nature. A small fish swam past her fingers, and she smiled. Life was so delicate, so beautiful…
Enveloped in gentle thoughts, she did not notice Kenshin's presence behind her, a few feet off. He watched her, his face a calm surface hiding the storm raging beneath. Such a delicate woman, so loving. He did not like the pain he saw in her eyes - a pain of which he had never seen before. He wanted to approach her, though he hung back, not wanting to disturb her. He recalled again how her eyes had been distant as her gaze fell upon him, seeming to look through him even as they cried out to him - a phenomenon ultimately causing the resurrection of the walls designed to enclose, almost imprison, his emotional self.
He gave her one last long gaze before he returned to his small field, closing his eyes as he took a deep breath. He lifted his hoe, driving it into the ground to upturn the soil, oblivious to what velocity and force until he stopped to wipe the sweat from his brow. Unaware of how much time had passed, he glanced toward the house, finding Tomoe's kimono and robes hung next to his own. She, however, was nowhere in sight.
His throat dry, his body feeling the effects of his diligent work, he let his tool drop to the ground as he headed toward the house. As old habits took effect, he carefully opened the door, senses aware of everything around him. He stepped into the house, turning the corner to stand in front of the small bucket of water next to the basin. Dipping in a small cup, he drank eagerly from it.
She's sitting with her journal.
As he had slid open the door, he had heard the quiet yet unmistakable rustle of paper. Again his emotions were being pushed deep down inside him, the knowledge of her sitting with her most private thoughts making him uneasy, an almost detached persona taking control of his mind and actions. He took another drink of the cool water before returning to the door.
"I'll be out to help you in a moment," Tomoe called to him in a small voice.
"Don't worry about it, there are just a few more areas I need to tend to," Kenshin replied in a surprising monotone. He waited for a few moments, but continued to head out the door when Tomoe made no response.
He began walking - not really sure where he was going but neither did he care - with one single thought on his mind…
I should never have neared the house.
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Author's Notes: Okay, somewhat of a cliffhanger, don't kill me for taking so long! Anyway, I'll probably end up proofing this some more after it's posted, but that's just a habit of mine. A perfectionist's work is never done. In any case, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this chapter. I wasn't too confident with it, but when I had some close friends of mine look over it, it was reassuring. After being awake to give it a serious read over, I also believe I have created something worthwhile here. Also, considering how things have begun to progress, a lemon with Battousai may be near approaching - what do you think? Hopefully I'll be able to get chapter 4 out soon, and I most definitely will try if I get some feedback on this! Anyway, questions? Comments? You can find my email address pretty easily, if you care enough. Anyway, I wish all the happiness in the world to you and hope to see you again!
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