Disclaimer:         First part; you know…

Rating:               G

Chapter Seven: Changes

The admiral preceded her, she followed glancing at her home, at the life she left behind. In the corners of her eyes she saw them leave. They entered the Observation Lounge of the Decoy, again it was a small and dark room compared to those of the Enterprise.

"Crew, this is Commander Troi, former Ship's Counselor of the USS Enterprise." The word 'former' was as a knife through her heart. She sensed they were cautious and had taken an instant dislike towards her.

"She'll be the key-person in our mission. Commander, our doctor, first officer, chief engineering and our security chief." As welcome they just nodded, nothing more, nothing less. They would act hostile towards her, she had enough experience to predict that. The doctor was different though. He too was cautious and hostile but he was also anxious and excited. She had seen him before; though she didn't recognize his face she recognized the way he felt. He comforted and scared her; a shiver crawled over her back.

"Alright, our schedule is tight. All primary preparations must be finished when we cross federation's boarders. You each have your orders, report back here at 1800 hours."

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The time past slow; every second seemed to be a minute, every minute seemed to be an hour. And all that time she hadn't felt at ease and therefore she couldn't concentrate. Several times she had almost, almost called out for him; knowing he would be there, listening.

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Will sat in his quarters, Beverly had send him there, she had probably locked his doors. An hour after Deanna had left he suddenly had the urge to find her, the need to see her. He had gone to the Holodeck, but her hologram had only made him realize he needed to feel her, to feel her soul, her heart beat. In blind despair he ran through the entire ship looking for her; not with his eyes but with his heart. When he couldn't find her he screamed out her name on the top of his voice.

"Deanna!!!" ~Imzadi~ Beverly had been able to calm him, down. And now in his silent quarters he could vaguely sense her, it gave him some comfort to know she was still out there.

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Light-years away Deanna heard his cry for her, ~Imzadi~, it tore her apart. He felt so desperate, so...lost.

"Why always those goddamn choices!" She fell on the floor and cried, the tears came from her very soul and she cried until there were none left.

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Quickly she took a shower before she went to the briefing. All the others were already there. Their hostility and irritation struck her; she was only half a minute late.

"Good, you're here. How far are you?"

"I've finished background and language studies."

"And you know them through and through?" She ignored the disdain of the crew and answered self-assured.

"Yes, I do."

"Good. Doctor, how far are you?"

"Aren't we going to test her sir?" The chief engineer interrupted, he didn't believe she was capable. She wondered how much they knew.

"No. We can't, the information she received has been selected by the High Council and is classified." They exchanged looks of distrust and disdain, Deanna felt very alone.

"Doctor?"

"I have the hypospray and will prepare the operation." There was something else, something that worried her, she could pin it down. Brusquely the admiral nodded.

"Chiefs?"

"The distress device isn't finished yet."

"Alright; you know what to do. Next meeting here at 2200 hours." Deanna left first, avoiding their glazes.

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This time she used her time more efficiently: part of it she used to do some research at this crew. She had noticed how efficiently they worked, not a word too much. There were a lot of secrets on board and there was friendship among the crew. Different than on the Enterprise though. On the Enterprise their friendship had grown over the years but it had always been there. Everybody actually liked each other and cared for one another. Here the friendship seemed forced and partially fake. Constantly Deanna was aware that Will as thinking about her and from that awareness she draw strength. She wouldn't be the same person she had been for over 40 years in a matter of hours. Fortunately time past fast now and the next and last briefing for Deanna Troi was there.

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Deanna was on time, even a bit early. By now she refused to avoid their feelings; she'd would confront one of them soon.

"Status everyone?"

"Ready to operate." The doctors enthusiasm surprised her, he was eager to start.

"How long will it take?"

"5 or 6 hours."

"Commander?"

"I'm ready." Deanna was nervous for the surgery, it would change so much.

"And the distress device?"

"Is finished."

"How long will it take to explain?"

"That depends on the Counselor herself." The hatred and sarcasm in his voice were loud and clear. It irritated her, and luckily for her, it irritated the admiral as well.

"She's a full Commander, she has been offered an admiral's and ambassador's post more than once and has served on the Enterprise for 14 years." A flush occurred on his cheek, it made her feel better.

"A minute or so." Inwards she evilly laughed.

"Alright, we will cross the boarders in approximately 11 hours. Before we do all Starfleet signs will be erased, including computerfiles and uniforms. Commander good luck with your surgery, doctor...you know what to do." Those last words scared her, more so did their feelings. Clearly there was something she wasn't supposed to ever find out.

"There will be another meeting before the transformation." Again in a hurry the admiral left. The doctor tapped Deanna on the shoulder and indicated her to follow him. While he guided her through the ship she figured he would be the best person to ask about the hostility of this crew. She had seen no sign of a ship's counselor and therefore assumed he had taken that task upon him.

"Welcome to our sickbay Counselor Troi."

"Thank you." She wasn't at all happy being there.

"And is it very different from the Enterprise's?"

"No, it's just smaller." 'And darker' she added unspoken.

"Well we don't have 1200 crewmembers." 'And no Will Riker.' She sadly added in her thoughts.

"Doctor, can I ask you something?"

"Sure." He was putting all his equipment in place.

"Why is everybody so hostile towards me?" For a second he froze than he turned towards her.

"They're not."

"I know they are."

"Oh, that's right; you're an empath." He had been very aware she was empathic ever since she came on board. Why did he lie about it now? "Well, the main reason is probably that we're a very close crew, we've lost common friends." Deanna folded her arms and looked at the floor.

"I see, now you consider me an intruder." She raised her searching eyes, closely watching his reaction.

"Yes, on this ship, with the missions it has, friends and trust are very important."

"And you think I want to make a quick career over your backs."

"Sort of." He admitted ashamed.

"Than I have some things to clear out." Her voice was hard and cold.

"I don't have to make a career anymore. And if I could resign from this assignment I would."

"It's a bit to late for that."

"If I hadn't been the only one with a reasonable change to succeed I would have stayed on the Enterprise, I..."Almost she had given away Their secret but she shut up just in time.

"Are you implying they forced you?" A second she thought about that.

"In a way they have." After a painful silence she asked him to begin with the operation.

"Of course. If you'll lay down here I'll put you under narcoses with a hypospray." She felt a little sting in her neck and all of a sudden her eyelids were extremely heavy. He watched her slip away; he couldn't wait to begin. This woman had intrigued him ever since he first had seen her, years ago on a psychologists convention on Betazed. Since than he had monitored her actions closely. Now she was Starfleet's most renowned and respected Counselor, but more important to him, he was about to operate on her.

"Imzadi" Was the last word to cross Deanna's lips.

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Satisfied he watched her; his method was an success and he was proud of it. The alterations were clearly visible and would soon be completed. The most interesting would be, of course, to find out if her personality had changed.

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Unable to really feel her Will had gone to Deanna's quarters, hoping her signal would be stronger there. She had warned him that her signal would faint for a while and so he was prepared. But still it made him uncomfortable and more alone than he already was.

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The alterations had been completed, it was time to bring her out.

Deanna twisted several times and blinked with her eyes. Slowly she opened them and looked around her; confused about where she was. She had felt like this before, years ago on another undercover mission.

"How do you feel?" It took her a while before she understood his question.

"A bit dizzy and stiff."

"That'll faint." With her hand she touched her forehead and remembered what the prupose of the operation was.

"How do I look?"

"Different, I'll get you a mirror." Seconds later the doctor returned, holding a mirror in his hands. He laid it down on her stomach so she could pick it up whenever she was ready. Deanna took a deep breath, gathered her courage and slowly picked up the mirror. With fear in her heart she looked at her reflection; bright green eyes stared back. She studied her new face carefully, than deeply sighed.

"Well, if Will sees this the wedding will be off again." Before she knew it she had spit it out.

"Wedding?" Again she sighed, no longer it was a secret between her and her Imzadi.

"Yes. I was going to get married in a few weeks."

"I'm sorry for you. So I assume Will is your fiancé?" Sadly she nodded; if only he was there with her.

"And 'off again'? Deanna laughed at him.

"What's so funny?"

"Beverly is very curious too, just like you. She wants to know everything."

"Beverly? Oh, you mean the Enterprise's CMO."

"Hmm, hm." Again she nodded.

"Must be a doctor's thing."

"Can I get up?"

"Give it a try." Laborious she tried to up right herself. The huge pressure she felt on her head made her fall back.

"I guess that's a 'no'." She said semi-amused.

"I don't sense anything!" The realization struck and frightened her.

"I gave you a hypo that suppresses your abilities."

"Why?"

"Safety measures." He was definitely holding something back. Deanna was less than comfortable.

"Do you have any idea when they will return?"

"No." Though she couldn't sense his emotions she knew he was lying, she just didn't know about what part.

"I would have appreciated it if you would have discussed this with me." In her anger she tried to sit up. Suddenly sickbay was spinning around her. The doctor pushed her back and stroke a lock of hair out her face.

"Take another half hour rest. We'll see after that." Agreeing Deanna nodded and made herself more comfortable. Quicker than she had expected she fell a sleep. From his office he watched her closely.

"CMO to admiral."

Doctor, how did it go?

"The operation was successful sir. I don't know how long I'll be able to suppress her empathy though, she might find out what's going on."

We'll deal with that when the time is there. Good work doctor, let me know when you're ready for the next briefing.

"Aye sir." He decided to start wiping out traces of Starfleet in sickbay. When he passed her he stood still and looked at her. The longer he looked at her, the prouder he became; she was perfect. He bend over and placed a kiss on her mouth, just to know how it felt. After he was finished he woke her up.

"Counselor, wake up." He pushed her shoulder but aside of some muttering she didn't respond.

"Counselor, it's time." Refusing to wake up she turned around and buried her face in her pillow. Again he pushed her.

"Will. Let me sleep, I don't have the Bridge Watch this morning." Amused the doctor watched her attempts not to wake up. Once more he pushed her.

"Dammit Will!"

"You're not on the Enterprise, Will isn't here." Those words had the wished for effect; Deanna opened her eyes and looked at him, wondering who the hell he was.

"Come, there's a briefing in 5 minutes." Remembering what was going on she hopped of the biobed and followed him. She was very insecure about her new face and the lack of her empathy only increased that. 'Scared to death' as Will would say. A smile came through when she realized she could still sense him; it proved once more how strong their bond was.

"Doctor, was the operation successful?" A warm welcome by the first officer.

"See for yourself." Deanna walked in and locked her eyes on each of them. They stepped back, scared, she realized.

"That's quite a change." The Security Chief stambled it out.

"Commander, how do you feel?"

"Evil." In contradiction to what she had expected nobody laughed or even smiled.

"Chief, will you explain the working of the device to her."

"Aye sir." Admiral Necheyev stepping to the center point of the room.

"Alright, everybody; listen up." Piercingly she looked around, her eyes locked on to Deanna's when they met.

"We've received a message from Starfleet Command." She held her breath, she didn't need her empathy to predict this wasn't good news.

"The risk level is now High Caution Red." Deanna widened her eyes in disbelieve and than cast them down, slowly the meaning of the admiral's words dawned.

"Imzadi, no." The doctor was the only one who heard her plea; he wondered what it meant.

"You are familiar with that Commander?" Indignant and sad she looked up and fold her arms.

"I know it means that basically I'm going on a suicide mission."

"That's one way to put it." Someone from behind her laughingly remarked.

"What caused it?"

"The government has announced they will undertake military actions to rebels and enemies; the military officers have been ordered 'not to take prisoners'. Transformation will start in two hours, at that time will your captain also arrive. That's all." And again the admiral left hastily. The chief walked up to her to explain.

"This is the device." He showed her a tiny white box, no bigger than half a centermeter in length.

"That? It's so...small."

"That's the idea." Indignant and insulted she locked her eyes on his and exactly achieve what she was hoping for; his body language showed his uneasiness.

"You'll warn us by destroying it, the closest vessel will be send to pick you up."

"So I can use it only once."

"Yes and only we will receive the signal." 'So much for the safety guard.'

"I understand." She took the box out his hand and left, confused and relieved he watched her.

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'High Caution Red, suicide, High Caution Red, only once, suicide, Imzadi, only once.' The words kept spinning in her head at an horrifying tone.

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With a sigh the chief sat down with his friends.

"I hope that arrogant lady won't stick with us much longer. I don't think I've ever met anyone so self-centred and cocky as her."

"I agree." The other chief backed him up.

"Just because she has served on the Enterprise she thinks she's better than us; I can't stand her."

"What about you doc?"

"I don't agree." Surprised the others looked up.

"You don't?"

"I don't." Deanna's surgical altering was quite possible the greatest achievement in his career; he felt to protect her. He took a moment, than started to explain.

"We're a close crew, we know each other through and through, we trust our lives to one another. But we're also reluctant to welcome new members, certainly when we know it'll only be temporal. She knows that and has her own reasons not to try to make us change our mind." Still amazed that he backed her up they challenged him to explain.

"Which are?"

"A friend of mine has served on the Enterprise for several years; he often told me ho much he liked the sense of friendship around that vessel, he also told me how kind and understanding his counselor was. We must not forget that the Enterprise D and E have had the same Senior Staff, with exception of the Security Chief, since 2364. All of them have been offered several promotions and all of them turned them down; they wouldn't have done that if they hated each other." He drank his glass empty and continued his plea.

"We stick together, we feel the loss of someone deeply; but she has lost all her long-time friends in one day." Reluctantly agreeing the others nodded.

"You've got a point."

"But still it was her own choice."

"If...you were told that you are the only one with  a reasonable change to fullfill a mission and save billions of lives, what would you do?" They thought about that for a moment, than one of them spoke up.

"I'd go, what is my life compared to those of a billion others?"

"And if you don't want to?"

"I'd still go, you can't just throw away a billion lives." The, to them self-evident answer came quickly and spontaneous.

"How would you feel about it?"

"Well...I'd be sad that I had to leave my friends and probably a bit angry too."

"Would you see it as a choice?" Again question they had to think about.

"Well...that depends. If I didn't want to go I probably wouldn't see it as a choice, if I did want to I would."

"You're trying to tell us that she's been forced right?" Slowly he nodded.

"That's easy to say afterwards." Stubborn as he was the Chief Engineer refused to give in. Not in the mood to keep this discussion going the doctor decided to end it.

"She was supposed to get married in 3 or 4 weeks." Stunned they didn't know what to say. The doctor stood up to get himself another drink. When he came back he changed the subject.

"So did you receive the information about our following mission yet?" Confused they looked up.

"Hmm? O, yes. It promises to become a very interesting one."

~D~

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