3.


This was the third time Warren was interrupted from his reading in one day. "WHAT? WHAT!?"

"Is Ray with you inside?" Jubilee asked from behind the bathroom door where Warren had been sitting, trying to avoid all the noise in the mansion. "We can't find him anywhere."

Warren rolled his eyes. "Well, if you can find him here that would be damned bloody queer now, don't you think so?"

Jubilee made a sound as if an irritated donkey would. "Just tell me, have you seen him?"

"God, NO! I've been in the bathroom since an hour ago!"

"All right, all right!" Jubilee voice faded away, mumbling curses most likely. Warren shook his head as he reread the novel and tried to sit comfortably in the bath tub.


"You - look - funny, Ray."

Hank and Bobby laughed aloud. Ray did indeed look funny. He had a tall pointed hat on, a gnarled staff in his hand, a voluminous robe that seemed to shine under the sun, and beneath it all, Reebok shoes peeked out.

But what did it was the fact that he had beard. White beard, in fact, that flowed down to his chest. He seemed to be unconscious of that, though, because right now he was too confused to notice.

"Tell me! Where the hell am I? I found myself staring at the most frightening creature in my life! It had green skin and a snout for nose instead, bald, eyes that burn and teeth yellower than dirt!"

"Calm down," Hank said, pulling him to sit down but Ray seemed to have been stuck to the ground. Bobby pointed to the air between them.

"Oh no. Those damned scripts again."

"Bobby, it's your script," Hank said as he sat down.

"Oh well." Bobby stood up. "Here we go. 'Don't be frightened, old man. This is the Woods, after all. You can rest here with us, recover your strength or you may join us if you like. We are on a quest.' God I sound like some stupid kid reading."

"You sound corny if that's what you mean," Hank whispered. "Oh, my script. 'Yes, old man. You are invited to join us here. We have food and water.' Eh? Do we?" Hank looked around and sure enough, there were flasks of water and something roasting on a spit. It smelled good.

Ray meanwhile read his own script. "Thank you for your kindness. I will join you all." Only then he started to move and with that he stumbled forward. Bobby caught him just in time.

"Really, Bobby," Ray remarked later on as they sat around the fire. "Whatever have you gotten us into this time."

Bobby feigned a hurt expression. "Please. I am not solely responsible. I only bought this game. I did nothing else."

Ray slapped Bobby's forehead. "Next time read the fine print."

"There are too many fine prints, stupid."

"What should we do next?" Hank was sharpening his blade with a flint he found along the area. "Go and rescue a princess?"

"Wouldn't that be cool," Ray chimed in.

"I don't remember a princess mentioned in the guide," Bobby said. "Only a - "

There was a loud rumble underneath them and the ground shook for a moment. Next a bright light shone from above them before breaking out in a rainbow all around.

"Hallelujah," Hank said to himself.

"Not precisely, Hank," Bobby muttered. "It's time for us to walk again. The resting period has expired, and that is supposed to show us wonderful adventures waiting for us along the journey." He nodded toward the light that had faded.

"Oh. Wonderful. How quaint." Ray shook his head.

Hank turned to Ray, smiling. "Monosyllabic becomes you, Ray." He grabbed hold of Ray's beard and tugged at it. "Nice beard, anyway."

The latter yowled; it actually hurt! "Hank! I'll shave you clean when we get out!"


They knew something was making them walk, like a bunch of chess pieces handled by invisible hands and left to fend themselves whenever danger presented itself in the many forms: orcs (the weakest), dark elves, goblins, caterpillars that spit out corrosive liquid, crows that would peck out your eyes if you weren't careful, and something Bobby recognised as Tyudans and a Tyudan Sergeant, a bunch of winged menaces that shoot out petrify rays of their eyes. Plus, they fly higher than most, which makes them tough to kill.

But nothing a bit of Burning Hands spell wouldn't kill. "I'm getting good as this!" he exclaimed as he kept his hands aloft so that the spell wouldn't be interrupted.

Hank was busy cutting down the wings of the Tyudans; he could do so now that Ray had cast Minor Invisibility over him. As long as he kept his distance he could clip off their wings and kill them without any much incident. "Hey, that one has a Halberd +1 on it! Shoot it Ray! Shoot it!"

Without much ado Ray cracked open a seal that contained Magic Missiles. Red balls of light began to gather around his outstretched fingers and he lifted them up carefully. Then: "Go to hell you no-good-Tyudans!!" he released the burgeoning balls of energy.

Two, three times, the spell hit the Tyudan Sergeant. Hank saw its flap of wings weaken and wasted no time throwing an axe at the flying creature, which in return lifted off his invisible cover.

However, in its last breath the Sergeant summoned the last bit of its energy and caught Hank unprepared as it shot out petrify rays to him.

"Hank, look out!"

Ray looked on, speechless as Hank slowly froze before him and simultaneously the creature fell down with a harsh twisted cry and a soft thud on the ground. "Oh no, Hank, no…"

Bobby dropped the loot he was checking and ran to Hank's frozen form. "Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit." He looked at Ray whose face was wrinkled with fear. "Now what do we do?"

"Do you have a Stone to Skin scroll or spell with you?" Ray asked him.

"I'm a necromancer, Ray, not a monk! You're a wizard, a sorcerer, you must have better spells than I do!"

"I don't! It's a high-level spell!" Ray furiously scratched his head in anger.

Bobby was close to tears by now. "Oh my God. Now what do we do? If we don't cure him in one hour's time he'd crumble to dust!"

Ray watched him closely. "Are you sure you're not exaggerating things, Bobby? You reputation precedes you, you know, of being the best exaggerator of all times."

Bobby looked up from between his shoulders. "You think I'm kidding? That spell is for real, Ray, and if we don't get help soon he'd die."

Something in his voice made Ray sit down dumbfounded. Now, really, what could they do?

Now what could they do? Any suggestions?