A SeeDy Christmas

By The 41st Maguanac aka Galatea

Chapter Four – A Rumble in the Corridor

Squall sat, sulkily, on the edge of his bed, flicking playing cards into his gunblade case. 'How crap,' he thought to himself. 'Humiliated in front of the whole of Garden, twice in one day. Nothing happens for 6 months, and then two things suddenly happen at once, both which victimise me. How typical. That's no surprise though is it? For as long as I can remember I've been victimised by sorceresses, girlfriends, friends, and basically everyone who picks on me because I'm not emotional like Zell…'

His thoughts were interrupted by a knock at his door. He decided to ignore it, and hope that whoever it was would get the message and go away.

"Squall? I know you're in there. Let me in."

'Oh, brilliant,' he thought, 'time for a chat with Rinoa which will no doubt leave me feeling confused and like a spoilt brat again. I think I could do without that, that you so very much.'

"Squall? You can't stay in there and sulk all day."

'Yes I can, now go away.' He thought. 'If I stay quiet for long enough, she'll have to go away.'

"I know you can hear me!" said Rinoa, sounding irritated. "Open this door, or I'll tell everyone in the corridor about how you got your embarrassing scar, and I don't mean the one on your forehead!"

Squall got off the bed and went to open the door. "What do you want from me? Do you want me to be all happy, and act like I don't care that the whole Garden is laughing behind my back?"           

"Don't be so ridiculous," said Rinoa, "It's not like you were the only one he did an impression of."

"No, I guess not, but I didn't see him do an impression of you. I suppose that's because he still has feelings for you."

"He meant no such thing, and you know it. You're just mad because I made fun of you this afternoon. You've got to admit, it was funny."

"It was not."

"Yes it was. People look at you like you're not quite human Squall. Let them know that you know how to take a joke, and you can learn to laugh at yourself!"

Squall rolled his eyes. "I have spent my whole life trying to get people to take me seriously, and you are totally undermining that!"

"The only one undermining you is your attitude problem."

"You're starting to sound like my mother… Well, how she would've sounded anyway."

"Maybe that's because you need to grow up a bit Squall. You're only 18. Sometimes you act like you're 50, and other times you act like you're 5. I just don't understand you!"

Outside in the corridor, a small crowd had collected around the outside of the door. Zell was trying desperately to peer through the crack around the edge of the doorframe.

"What can you see?" asked Irvine, craning his neck so he could look over Zell's shoulder.

"Not a lot. Rinoa's standing too close to the door. I can't see a lot more than her butt."

"Ooh! Let me see!"

"Get lost, ya damn pervert!"

"What are they saying?"

"Something about… laughing at Squall… and Squall's mum…"

"Rinoa is Squall's mum?! Isn't she a little young?"

"No, you idiot, they are talking about Squall's mum. I didn't even know he had one…"

"He had no mum? How did that work?"

"Oh, Irvine, don't be such a moron, and shut up, I can't hear what they're saying!"

"What are you doing?" said a loud voice over Irvine's shoulder.

"Be quiet, or they'll hear you!"

"Well!" said Selphie irritably, "maybe they'd like to know that you two are EAVESDROPPERS!!!"

"Would you shut up!" whispered Irvine and Zell in unison. Selphie knelt down next to Irvine.

"What are they saying?" she asked.

"Apparently, Rinoa is Squall's mum, and likes laughing at him!"

"His MUM?!"

"No, no, no!" said Zell, in a harsh whisper, "Squall doesn't have a mum!"

"He doesn't? Then how was he…"

"Oh, just everyone, shut up!"

"And furthermore…"

"What? Rinoa, you have insulted me in every possible way, and it doesn't seem to be working, does it?"

"You are such a big baby! Come out of your little shell of a room, and go and talk to people. Everyone gets embarrassed sooner or later. Today was just your turn!"

"My turn?! You'd think it was written in the stars, and planned since my birth, the way you talk about it!"

"Maybe it was!"

"No way," said Squall with a sigh, "Nothing is planned. Stuff just happens, and there's nothing anyone can do about it until it happens. You can't plan for it. That's life!"

"I'm sorry for you Squall. What kind of person goes through life with that kind of attitude?"

"What now?"

"Well, apparently, life isn't planned… or something… Squall being a baby… something about his birth… and she's sorry…"

"I knew it!" said Selphie, excitedly, "Rinoa is Squall's mum! They're talking about the birth, and how it wasn't planned, and that she's sorry she didn't tell him before!"

Zell rolled his eyes. "Selphie. I may have a 'C' grade in maths at the moment, but it doesn't take a genius to figure out that Rinoa would've only been a few weeks old when she, supposedly, conceived Squall!"

"Maybe something happened when time was compressed, that we don't know about! It could be like that episode of 'Red Dwarf', and Squall will turn out to be his own father, and Rinoa, his mother!"

"Okay, Selphie, now you're freaking me out…"

"Eugh!"

"Quiet! What is it, Irvine?"

"I just put my hand in something unpleasant, and squidgy."

"What is it?"

"I'm not sure I want to know… I think it smells like ketchup…"

"My hotdog! I was wondering where it had got to!"

"Well, kindly get it off my glove, and away from me, before I start to smell like you do."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Exactly what it sounds like!"

"Oh yeah? Why don't you go back to the farm, cowboy, and round up some cattle or something? You're probably better at that than you are at shooting things…"

"Guys! Please!"

"Keep out of it Selphie," replied Irvine, adjusting his hat, "You wanna make something of it, Chicken-Wuss?" Zell turned around, very slowly.

"What did you call me?"

"I called you chicken, as in the yellow-bellied type, with less guts than a Cactuar when Squall has a sharpened gunblade and 100 Auras!"

"Right, that's it cowboy, you're going down, man!"

"Come one then, shorty, let's see what you've got!"

Zell flung his entire weight at Irvine. He was damn good with his fists, and spared Irvine no mercy with a blow to his nose. Irvine kicked out, and caught Zell in the groin with his huge boot. This gave Irvine long enough to pull himself upright. In one fluid motion, Zell pushed Irvine backwards into the wall, knocking his Stetson off his head, and on to the floor. Zell laughed and picked it up.

"Ooh! Look at me! I'm Irvine, the cowboy. All the chicks love me, even though I'm as thick as a…" Zell didn't have time to finish that sentence. Irvine was feeling sick of being humiliated in front of Selphie, and decided that he had had enough. He dived at Zell, in an attempt to throw him against the wall, but slipped in a small pool of mustard and flung him into Squall's door instead. This bruised Zell's spine, and dented the door in one loud crunch. Squall stepped out of his door and looked down at the chaos around him.

"What the Hell is going on today?"

To Be Continued.