WHY His Head's So Big
Brought to you by BunnyGrrl and your local coca-cola bottling factory.
A/N Well... Everybody's been asking lately, and I figured- what the hell: I'LL answer that question!!! IN SHORT STORY FORM!! (GASP!) And now, without further adoo-doo, I present to you...
WHY DIB'S HEAD IS SO BIG
Once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away... There was a gigantic wheel of cheese. Now, this cheese was no AVERAGE cheese, heavens no! It was MAGICAL, INTELLIGENT, SUPER CHEESE!! And this particular cheese contained all the knowledge of the universe!! This cheese was the most saught after prize in the cosmos', and everyone wanted to get their hands on it- including the backwards species known as homosapiens.
As time went by, and the mysterious and powerful cheese was shrouded in an enigma of... Mystery, interest in finding it was dwindling. Because, as a rule, when something's too hard to do, you'll naturally 'take a break'- IE, you GIVE UP.
But one man, one human, wouldn't give up. And his name was...
PROFESSOR MEMBRANE (wah-na-na-NA!).
Now, Professor Membrane was a brilliant scientist on the tiny ball of filth known to many as Earth. Everybody else just called it "what's his face". So one day, this earth scientist was in the process of creating the PERFECT little boy- with sugar and spice, and every-
Wait... NO!
SO ONE DAY... This scientist guy was in the, uh, HOSPITAL! Yeah! His wife.... Uh.... BARBRA... Was having their first kid by the name of Dib! (god I'm good! ^^;;) Unfortunatly, this child had a very rare disease- he didn't have a brain.
"Now how will I get a brain for this spawn of pure icky?" Professor Membrane though, rubbing his chin (which was actually the collar of his lab coat... DOES THAT MAN EVEN HAVE A NECK UNDER THERE?!?!). "He needs a good brain, I'd hate for him to be confused by simple things such as doorknobs, and my tests have shown that children now-a-days are getting STUPIDER!!" He held up a stack of lab papers, then threw them in the trash. "Where can I find a brain for my freakishly deformed son... Hmm..."
Then, it occurred to him.
"THE SPACE CHEESE!!" He snapped his fingers together. "We've been studying that hunk of processed cow product for years, and it seems to be an intelligent species. Perhaps... Perhaps... No. A hunk of cheese could never serve as a proper brain!" He paused as he heard a doctor scream and say, "DEAR LORD!! THIS CHILD'S HEAD IS LIKE A PANCAKE!"
"He gets that from his father." A tired female voice said.
"... It's got to work!" Membrane cried, and took off running out the doors and to the parking lot where his... Eh... ROCKET SHIP! Was parked. He jumped in, gunned the engine, and blasted into space in search of the mysterious smart cheese.
When he returned (I don't feel like explaining his space journey, but believe you me- IT WAS EXCITING! WHOO!), Membrane snatched up the small boy from his mothers' arms, stuffed the giant wheel of cheddar into his ear cannal, and handed him back. The doctor's all stared at him, slack jawed, eyes wide.
"This NEVER happened." Membrane snarled at everyone in the room, pointing at them with a gloved finger. "My son is normal. NORMALLLLL!!!!"
--SOME TIME LATER...--
"... And that, son, is how you got your brain. It's also why your head is so freakishly large- the cheese stretched your young cranium to fit."
There was a long pause between father and son, as they sat staring at each other from either side of the small kitchen table.
"So you mean to tell me... That my brain is a BIG HUNK OF CHEESE?!?!" Dib screamed, pounding his fists onto the table, making his can of Poop spill onto the floor. "THAT'S INSANE!"
"But it's the truth."
"And you call ME nuts..." Dib growled and stomped out of the kitchen.
THE END
NOW YOU KNOW. Wonder if his brain ever starts to rot. Heh. I make a funny. KNOW THIS, PEOPLE: this was just to poke fun at Dib's gigantic head, and what makes it SO BIG. It's not SUPPOSED to make sense, so don't leave me reviews saying "TSK! That is IMPOSSIBLE!" I KNOW it's impossible... But... It's kinda funny, don't ya think? *nervous grin* (didn't use spellcheck cause i'm a lazy ass)
Brought to you by BunnyGrrl and your local coca-cola bottling factory.
A/N Well... Everybody's been asking lately, and I figured- what the hell: I'LL answer that question!!! IN SHORT STORY FORM!! (GASP!) And now, without further adoo-doo, I present to you...
WHY DIB'S HEAD IS SO BIG
Once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away... There was a gigantic wheel of cheese. Now, this cheese was no AVERAGE cheese, heavens no! It was MAGICAL, INTELLIGENT, SUPER CHEESE!! And this particular cheese contained all the knowledge of the universe!! This cheese was the most saught after prize in the cosmos', and everyone wanted to get their hands on it- including the backwards species known as homosapiens.
As time went by, and the mysterious and powerful cheese was shrouded in an enigma of... Mystery, interest in finding it was dwindling. Because, as a rule, when something's too hard to do, you'll naturally 'take a break'- IE, you GIVE UP.
But one man, one human, wouldn't give up. And his name was...
PROFESSOR MEMBRANE (wah-na-na-NA!).
Now, Professor Membrane was a brilliant scientist on the tiny ball of filth known to many as Earth. Everybody else just called it "what's his face". So one day, this earth scientist was in the process of creating the PERFECT little boy- with sugar and spice, and every-
Wait... NO!
SO ONE DAY... This scientist guy was in the, uh, HOSPITAL! Yeah! His wife.... Uh.... BARBRA... Was having their first kid by the name of Dib! (god I'm good! ^^;;) Unfortunatly, this child had a very rare disease- he didn't have a brain.
"Now how will I get a brain for this spawn of pure icky?" Professor Membrane though, rubbing his chin (which was actually the collar of his lab coat... DOES THAT MAN EVEN HAVE A NECK UNDER THERE?!?!). "He needs a good brain, I'd hate for him to be confused by simple things such as doorknobs, and my tests have shown that children now-a-days are getting STUPIDER!!" He held up a stack of lab papers, then threw them in the trash. "Where can I find a brain for my freakishly deformed son... Hmm..."
Then, it occurred to him.
"THE SPACE CHEESE!!" He snapped his fingers together. "We've been studying that hunk of processed cow product for years, and it seems to be an intelligent species. Perhaps... Perhaps... No. A hunk of cheese could never serve as a proper brain!" He paused as he heard a doctor scream and say, "DEAR LORD!! THIS CHILD'S HEAD IS LIKE A PANCAKE!"
"He gets that from his father." A tired female voice said.
"... It's got to work!" Membrane cried, and took off running out the doors and to the parking lot where his... Eh... ROCKET SHIP! Was parked. He jumped in, gunned the engine, and blasted into space in search of the mysterious smart cheese.
When he returned (I don't feel like explaining his space journey, but believe you me- IT WAS EXCITING! WHOO!), Membrane snatched up the small boy from his mothers' arms, stuffed the giant wheel of cheddar into his ear cannal, and handed him back. The doctor's all stared at him, slack jawed, eyes wide.
"This NEVER happened." Membrane snarled at everyone in the room, pointing at them with a gloved finger. "My son is normal. NORMALLLLL!!!!"
--SOME TIME LATER...--
"... And that, son, is how you got your brain. It's also why your head is so freakishly large- the cheese stretched your young cranium to fit."
There was a long pause between father and son, as they sat staring at each other from either side of the small kitchen table.
"So you mean to tell me... That my brain is a BIG HUNK OF CHEESE?!?!" Dib screamed, pounding his fists onto the table, making his can of Poop spill onto the floor. "THAT'S INSANE!"
"But it's the truth."
"And you call ME nuts..." Dib growled and stomped out of the kitchen.
THE END
NOW YOU KNOW. Wonder if his brain ever starts to rot. Heh. I make a funny. KNOW THIS, PEOPLE: this was just to poke fun at Dib's gigantic head, and what makes it SO BIG. It's not SUPPOSED to make sense, so don't leave me reviews saying "TSK! That is IMPOSSIBLE!" I KNOW it's impossible... But... It's kinda funny, don't ya think? *nervous grin* (didn't use spellcheck cause i'm a lazy ass)