Disclaimer: Same as before.
Ch-8 The Plot Thickens Considerably
Lavender: Legolas, be careful!
Legolas: Shut-up!
Cho: Lav, you're starting to irk me. Give it a rest.
Lavender: Aww, but Cho, look at him. He's gorgeous.
Cho: I know, but he's 2000 years old and you're 15.
Lavender: But he doesn't LOOK 2000 years old. And everyone says I look older than 15. We could hook up.
Cho: Oh my God, Lav, you are pathetic. You live in ENGLAND he lives in …. HERE. He is an ELF you are a HUMAN. You need to come to terms with the fact that you stand no chance with him.
(Legolas steps out from behind bush staggering slightly, rubs his eyes, and stares at crowd, then runs up to Cho and throws his arms around her.)
Legolas: Oh Cho, do not hide your feelings for me any longer because I can't hide mine for you.
Lavender: (gasps) Cho! You bitch! (Runs in other direction)
Cho: No! Lavender, I don't love him. Wait! Come back. Get off me elf- boy!
Legolas: Let her go. We need to be with each other.
Cho: No, we really don't. I just lost my boyfriend and I need some time ok.
Legolas: But Cho, I need you now!
Herm: Woah, Legolas why did you just pull a Trelawney?
Legolas: A what?
Herm: Well you went behind that bush and then came out loving Cho.
Legolas: I always loved Cho.
Merry: Yeah. Ok.
Ginny: What is wrong with everybody?
Mysterious Evil Voice: I think I can answer that.
(Out from behind a bush comes Snape with Draco. AC/DC's "Back in Black" plays from some unknown radio in the sky.)
Herm: Oh God no.
Dumbledore: Well, welcome Severus. I see you and Mr. Malfoy made it.
Draco: It was a bumpy ride and my hair got messed. Stupid floo powder.
Snape: We are clearly both in one piece, Draco. Hello Headmaster, Gandalf… (looks in disgust at hobbits) and… little… things…
Sam: Yo! Just cause we're short doesn't mean we aren't tough ok? We're people too!… Ok maybe we aren't but our opinions count for something!
Snape: Right. Good to see all of you by the way and… what on earth is Sybill doing?
(Trelawney is on the ground twitching.)
Trewlawney: Frodo, Frodo,… I saw you in my tea leaves.
Snape: (sighs) Is she having a "divine vision" again?
Dumbledore: No. She's just for some reason in love with this young hobbit.
Snape: I'm sorry.
Frodo: Eh, it's ok. Guess there's nothing I can do about it.
Snape: Do the kids know about the mission?
Gandalf: The kids shouldn't even be here!
Dumbledore: Well these are and we can't send them back yet. So we'll have to take them to Rivendell with us.
Legolas: Rivendell? But why?
Gandalf: You'll see. Aragorn and Elrond will explain everything.
Pippin: Yay! Yay! We're going to see the elves again!
Draco: Elves? What would we want to see some stupid elves for? So they can make us breakfast?
Herm: I'll explain on the way.
Legolas: I can't wait till I introduce Elrond to my new girlfriend.
Cho: I'm not your girlfriend.
Legolas: Of course you are. (kisses her on forehead.)
Cho: I…I…Oh.
Dumbledore: C'mon, everyone in the cart.
(Cho, Lavender, Herm, Ginny, Frodo, Sam, Pippin, Merry, Trelawney (bound), Legolas, Draco, and Snape all leap into the cart.)
Merry: Ow! Get off me! This cart isn't big enough.
Herm: Get your nasty hobbit foot out of my face!
Merry: Where would you like me to put it? Up your ass?
Herm: Why you little… (grabs him)
Ginny: The both of you stop, if you two fight you'll hurt all of us. Just deal. It can't be too far to this Rivendell.
Gandalf: It's about 3 days I'd say.
All: 3 DAYS!!
Frodo: We're gonna die in this cart while you two sit pretty at the helm.
Dumbledore: You won't die.
Snape: What about Minerva?
Dumbledore: We rendezvous with Professor McGonagall and Messers. Weasley and Potter at Rivendell.
Herm: Harry and Ron! Yes!
Gandalf: All right then, let's shove off. (Sets the horses going.)
See there is a plot. I wouldn't lie to you people.
Ch-8 The Plot Thickens Considerably
Lavender: Legolas, be careful!
Legolas: Shut-up!
Cho: Lav, you're starting to irk me. Give it a rest.
Lavender: Aww, but Cho, look at him. He's gorgeous.
Cho: I know, but he's 2000 years old and you're 15.
Lavender: But he doesn't LOOK 2000 years old. And everyone says I look older than 15. We could hook up.
Cho: Oh my God, Lav, you are pathetic. You live in ENGLAND he lives in …. HERE. He is an ELF you are a HUMAN. You need to come to terms with the fact that you stand no chance with him.
(Legolas steps out from behind bush staggering slightly, rubs his eyes, and stares at crowd, then runs up to Cho and throws his arms around her.)
Legolas: Oh Cho, do not hide your feelings for me any longer because I can't hide mine for you.
Lavender: (gasps) Cho! You bitch! (Runs in other direction)
Cho: No! Lavender, I don't love him. Wait! Come back. Get off me elf- boy!
Legolas: Let her go. We need to be with each other.
Cho: No, we really don't. I just lost my boyfriend and I need some time ok.
Legolas: But Cho, I need you now!
Herm: Woah, Legolas why did you just pull a Trelawney?
Legolas: A what?
Herm: Well you went behind that bush and then came out loving Cho.
Legolas: I always loved Cho.
Merry: Yeah. Ok.
Ginny: What is wrong with everybody?
Mysterious Evil Voice: I think I can answer that.
(Out from behind a bush comes Snape with Draco. AC/DC's "Back in Black" plays from some unknown radio in the sky.)
Herm: Oh God no.
Dumbledore: Well, welcome Severus. I see you and Mr. Malfoy made it.
Draco: It was a bumpy ride and my hair got messed. Stupid floo powder.
Snape: We are clearly both in one piece, Draco. Hello Headmaster, Gandalf… (looks in disgust at hobbits) and… little… things…
Sam: Yo! Just cause we're short doesn't mean we aren't tough ok? We're people too!… Ok maybe we aren't but our opinions count for something!
Snape: Right. Good to see all of you by the way and… what on earth is Sybill doing?
(Trelawney is on the ground twitching.)
Trewlawney: Frodo, Frodo,… I saw you in my tea leaves.
Snape: (sighs) Is she having a "divine vision" again?
Dumbledore: No. She's just for some reason in love with this young hobbit.
Snape: I'm sorry.
Frodo: Eh, it's ok. Guess there's nothing I can do about it.
Snape: Do the kids know about the mission?
Gandalf: The kids shouldn't even be here!
Dumbledore: Well these are and we can't send them back yet. So we'll have to take them to Rivendell with us.
Legolas: Rivendell? But why?
Gandalf: You'll see. Aragorn and Elrond will explain everything.
Pippin: Yay! Yay! We're going to see the elves again!
Draco: Elves? What would we want to see some stupid elves for? So they can make us breakfast?
Herm: I'll explain on the way.
Legolas: I can't wait till I introduce Elrond to my new girlfriend.
Cho: I'm not your girlfriend.
Legolas: Of course you are. (kisses her on forehead.)
Cho: I…I…Oh.
Dumbledore: C'mon, everyone in the cart.
(Cho, Lavender, Herm, Ginny, Frodo, Sam, Pippin, Merry, Trelawney (bound), Legolas, Draco, and Snape all leap into the cart.)
Merry: Ow! Get off me! This cart isn't big enough.
Herm: Get your nasty hobbit foot out of my face!
Merry: Where would you like me to put it? Up your ass?
Herm: Why you little… (grabs him)
Ginny: The both of you stop, if you two fight you'll hurt all of us. Just deal. It can't be too far to this Rivendell.
Gandalf: It's about 3 days I'd say.
All: 3 DAYS!!
Frodo: We're gonna die in this cart while you two sit pretty at the helm.
Dumbledore: You won't die.
Snape: What about Minerva?
Dumbledore: We rendezvous with Professor McGonagall and Messers. Weasley and Potter at Rivendell.
Herm: Harry and Ron! Yes!
Gandalf: All right then, let's shove off. (Sets the horses going.)
See there is a plot. I wouldn't lie to you people.