Disclaimer: Same as before.
Ch 26- On His Own
Frodo: We've lost more than half of our Fellowship. I thought you were the one who didn't want to leave anyone behind.
Dumbledore: Well, sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.
Gandalf: Yeah, ok Albus. I can't believe this: 5 people in 10 minutes.
Frodo: (groan) Does this hallway ever end?
Legolas: It must. What I don't understand is why nothing has attacked us yet. No orcs, uruk-hai… What gives?
Gandalf: I don't know, and I don't like it.
Frodo: Hey, what's that sound?
(They hear a whirring sound through the wall on their right.)
Gandalf: Hmmm. (He begins to tap the wall with his staff. He finds one spot where the wall sounds different.) Legolas, if you please.
(Legolas creeps back and runs at full speed at the wall. It busts open.)
Gandalf: Thank you my boy.
(They enter. Inside is an assembly line with about 100 Uruk-hai making…)
Gandalf: Socks?
Dumbledore: Guess so.
(They all gasp as they notice who's in the center.)
Dumbledore: Sybill!
(Trelawney looks like she is very stoned as she continues making socks. She lifts her head and sees Frodo.)
Trelawney: Frodo my beloved halfling!
All Uruk-hai: Halfling?
(They Uruk-hai all start running towards them.)
Legolas: Oh shit.
Gandalf: Legolas, you and Frodo go on ahead. We'll take care of them.
Frodo: Two old guys against 100 Uruk-hai and an insane fangirl? You really stand a chance.
Gandalf: I'm not as feeble as I look Baggins! …Ow don't touch that knee, that's my arthritis!
Dumbledore: We'll handle it. Don't worry about us, just leave!
(Frodo and Legolas run out.)
Frodo: Just us? Legolas no matter what happens, you can't leave me.
Legolas: I won't. I promise… Oh wow what a pretty mirror!
Frodo: We don't have time to look in a mirror… Legolas!
Legolas: Oh wow! Look at me. I'm one sexy bitch!
Frodo: Legolas, let's go. (Runs up to him and tugs on his arm. Legolas doesn't budge and Frodo falls over.)
Legolas: No, you gotta look at this.
Frodo: What??
Legolas: Me. I'm so beautiful. (Runs a hand through his fine, long, blonde elf hair. [A/N: Nice mental image for y'all].) C'mon, look in the mirror.
Frodo: No! God, I really hate mirrors now! (Looks at frame of mirror) Oh no. "Mirror of Narcissus".
Legolas: What?
Frodo: You're going to be standing there staring at yourself forever.
Legolas: And that's a bad thing? Are you making any sense right now? No. (after a second of silence) C'mon, just look in!
Frodo: No! Someone has to get rid of THIS. (pulls white sock out of his cloak) I wish the sock had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened. Goodbye Legolas. Fare thee well.
Legolas: Yeah, yeah. Ooh, check out those biceps! Damn, baby, I am one sexy piece of elven ass!
(Frodo shudders and walks on. He finally reaches a huge metal door that says "Through here to the main baddie" on it in flashing neon lights.)
Frodo: So this is it. Through this door are Sauramon and Voldemort. Wait a sec: I've never even seen Voldemort. How am I supposed to fight him? (sits down to cry) I can't go. (tears start to fall).
Little Voice in the Back of Frodo's Head: You must go, Frodo. You must save middle-earth.
Frodo: From what?
Little Voice: The socks!
Frodo: They're freaking socks. What are they gonna do, eat me in my sleep? I'm just a hobbit, ok?
Little Voice: You are a strong hobbit. You can do it. I know you can.
Frodo: Gin? Is that you?
Little Voice: Good luck, my love… (fades away)
Frodo: Ginny! (stands up) I'll do it! (reaches out, grabs knob, and pushes door open.)
Will Frodo survive the evils that await him behind the door? Will Legolas ever stop loving himself? Will Galadriel come back into this story? (Wait I can answer that now: no. Sorry Galadriel Weasley.) Tune into the next chapters of Ay Carumba! For all the answers to these questions and more. (We're almost done by the way folks. Just 3 chapters to go!)
Ch 26- On His Own
Frodo: We've lost more than half of our Fellowship. I thought you were the one who didn't want to leave anyone behind.
Dumbledore: Well, sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.
Gandalf: Yeah, ok Albus. I can't believe this: 5 people in 10 minutes.
Frodo: (groan) Does this hallway ever end?
Legolas: It must. What I don't understand is why nothing has attacked us yet. No orcs, uruk-hai… What gives?
Gandalf: I don't know, and I don't like it.
Frodo: Hey, what's that sound?
(They hear a whirring sound through the wall on their right.)
Gandalf: Hmmm. (He begins to tap the wall with his staff. He finds one spot where the wall sounds different.) Legolas, if you please.
(Legolas creeps back and runs at full speed at the wall. It busts open.)
Gandalf: Thank you my boy.
(They enter. Inside is an assembly line with about 100 Uruk-hai making…)
Gandalf: Socks?
Dumbledore: Guess so.
(They all gasp as they notice who's in the center.)
Dumbledore: Sybill!
(Trelawney looks like she is very stoned as she continues making socks. She lifts her head and sees Frodo.)
Trelawney: Frodo my beloved halfling!
All Uruk-hai: Halfling?
(They Uruk-hai all start running towards them.)
Legolas: Oh shit.
Gandalf: Legolas, you and Frodo go on ahead. We'll take care of them.
Frodo: Two old guys against 100 Uruk-hai and an insane fangirl? You really stand a chance.
Gandalf: I'm not as feeble as I look Baggins! …Ow don't touch that knee, that's my arthritis!
Dumbledore: We'll handle it. Don't worry about us, just leave!
(Frodo and Legolas run out.)
Frodo: Just us? Legolas no matter what happens, you can't leave me.
Legolas: I won't. I promise… Oh wow what a pretty mirror!
Frodo: We don't have time to look in a mirror… Legolas!
Legolas: Oh wow! Look at me. I'm one sexy bitch!
Frodo: Legolas, let's go. (Runs up to him and tugs on his arm. Legolas doesn't budge and Frodo falls over.)
Legolas: No, you gotta look at this.
Frodo: What??
Legolas: Me. I'm so beautiful. (Runs a hand through his fine, long, blonde elf hair. [A/N: Nice mental image for y'all].) C'mon, look in the mirror.
Frodo: No! God, I really hate mirrors now! (Looks at frame of mirror) Oh no. "Mirror of Narcissus".
Legolas: What?
Frodo: You're going to be standing there staring at yourself forever.
Legolas: And that's a bad thing? Are you making any sense right now? No. (after a second of silence) C'mon, just look in!
Frodo: No! Someone has to get rid of THIS. (pulls white sock out of his cloak) I wish the sock had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened. Goodbye Legolas. Fare thee well.
Legolas: Yeah, yeah. Ooh, check out those biceps! Damn, baby, I am one sexy piece of elven ass!
(Frodo shudders and walks on. He finally reaches a huge metal door that says "Through here to the main baddie" on it in flashing neon lights.)
Frodo: So this is it. Through this door are Sauramon and Voldemort. Wait a sec: I've never even seen Voldemort. How am I supposed to fight him? (sits down to cry) I can't go. (tears start to fall).
Little Voice in the Back of Frodo's Head: You must go, Frodo. You must save middle-earth.
Frodo: From what?
Little Voice: The socks!
Frodo: They're freaking socks. What are they gonna do, eat me in my sleep? I'm just a hobbit, ok?
Little Voice: You are a strong hobbit. You can do it. I know you can.
Frodo: Gin? Is that you?
Little Voice: Good luck, my love… (fades away)
Frodo: Ginny! (stands up) I'll do it! (reaches out, grabs knob, and pushes door open.)
Will Frodo survive the evils that await him behind the door? Will Legolas ever stop loving himself? Will Galadriel come back into this story? (Wait I can answer that now: no. Sorry Galadriel Weasley.) Tune into the next chapters of Ay Carumba! For all the answers to these questions and more. (We're almost done by the way folks. Just 3 chapters to go!)