Harry Potter and the Spiked Pumpkin Juice
Chp. 2: Shopping Fun (How Often Do You Bathe?)
Author's Note: Thanks for reading! Yay, 17 reviews for chapter one. I'm happy. I appreciate reviews. And suggestions. I am really gonna try to work people's suggestions in. skipping!Harry, slutty!Snape, cold things... you know, whateeeever! And I'm sorry that this chapter took so long to come out. My life interfered, plus I started writing it and it got TOO ANGSTY. It scared me so I had to change it. And *-* is for emphasis.

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Ooooohhhhh, look at this one!

Ugh, no.

But Harry! It's cashmere!

I would never wear that, Draco, and you know it.

But it would look so *good* on you.

Flattery will get you nowhere, Draco.

You have no taste, Potter.

Why do you always do that?! Harry demanded. Every time you get mad at me you start calling me by my surname! Every time!

Shut up, hissed Draco, giving Harry a menacing look. I do *not* always do it, Harry.

Look, I'm not going to wear that sweater, okay? Not ever, Draco, so just put it back.

Draco scowled. You are completely impossible to shop with, you know that.

As if you would know, Harry retorted. You are not shopping *with* me, Draco, you are shopping *for* me. You're not even listening to me!

That's because you have horrible taste! screeched Draco, warranting odd looks from the other people in the store. If it were up to you, you would probably go to that party naked! You have no fashion sense, no fashion sense at all!

What is your *problem* Draco?! You always find something to complain about!

I'm sorry that I have *standards*!! Is that what you want me to say?! That I'm sorry?!

Yes, Draco, yes! That is what I want you to say! I want you to apologize!

Draco hissed, lowering his voice. The weird looks were starting to get to him. Fine, Harry, I'm *sorry,* all right? I'm sorry -

Harry nearly shouted. You should apologize, Draco, because -

- I'm sorry, Harry! I'm *SORRY* that you have no fashion sense! I'm *SORRY* that you're a complete git! I'm *SORRY* that I have standards and you don't! I'm *SORRY* that -

Shut up, Harry muttered. Please, Draco. You're giving me a headache.

Draco stopped yelling and gave Harry a look of concern. he said, pulling Harry into a hug in the middle of the sweater isle. Poor baby. I really *am* sorry, Harry.

Harry sniffed. It's okay. But I *do* have fashion sense, you know.



Harry exclaimed in indignation, pushing Draco away. I do! I *DO*!!

Draco said, not looking in the eye. You do...

Harry pursed his lips. Well, anyway, it'll be too hot for a sweater. I need something that won't make me all sweaty.

Oh, yes, said Draco, nodding vehemently. As long as you continue to curse deodorant as a tool of the Dark Lord -

Hey! Are you saying I stink?!

I'm simply saying, Harry, that when one goes weeks without bathing -

Shut up, I do *not* do that!

It's not so much of a stench as just a rather pungent, unpleasant odor... Draco continued, sniggering.

It's not funny, Draco! I bathe! You know I do!

said Draco. And here I was prattling on about you and *your* tastes, when *I'm* the one who's going out with you.

I don't smell!

It's only noticeable when you're within five meters -

Draco! I do NOT smell!

It could be worse. You could be Finnigan or something.

You know I bathe!

Can you imagine? Draco went on, now ignoring Harry completely as he began to head out of the store. Being Finnigan? Gods, I think I'd kill myself.

Who were you shagging in the Prefects' bathroom just three days ago, Draco? WHO?! It was me, that's who. And -

I mean, Finnigan is just so... skanky. And the Weasel thought *I* was skanky? Ha. Compared to Finnigan I'm a fucking Hufflepuff or something.

We were shagging IN THE BATHTUB!! IN THE BATHTUB!!

Draco gave Harry an annoyed look. Yes, and you were quite good. Now would you please shut up? I'm trying to tell you how different I am from your stupid friends.

And I care because...?

Because I am Draco Malfoy. I am dead sexy, I have the nicest arse you will ever see, and everything I ever say is important. That's why, Harry.

But I don't wanna hear you bad mouth Seamus, Harry pouted. Can't we talk about something else?









If you like leather so much, why not buy yourself a pair of leather trousers?

Where did *that* come from? That's random.

Answer the question, Harry.

Why don't I get my own leather trousers? Well because they would look so much sexier on you.

Hmm. Well, I guess you're right.

You're so vain. But anyway, leather is only sexy when someone *else* is wearing it.

So you don't want a sweater?

No, I have plenty from Mrs. Weasley, Harry said happily, looping his arm through Draco's. I like them just fine, thanks.

Draco chose not to comment on the Weasleys, instead opting to change the subject.

Let's go get that jelly, okay?

Harry said, frowning slightly. But Draco, why did you change the sub-

Jelly now! Draco exclaimed. Let's go, Harry.

But I thought you wanted to get your outfit now?

Draco stopped. Oh, yeah. That's right. Well in that case, we'd better start shopping again. How much time do we have left?

Harry said, looking at his watch. Two and a half more hours.

Well then, hurry up! Draco demanded, grabbing Harry's hand and dragging him into the nearest store. I'm sorry, Harry, but you can't go to that party wearing... anything you own.

Harry frowned. I already told you, Draco, I like my clothes!

Less talking, more shopping!

Harry pursed his lips and glared at Draco, who ignored him as he looked for something nice to wear.

Harry mumbled, stalking of to look at jeans. I need a new pair of jeans anyway.

No jeans! Draco called.

Harry called back. Then how about spandex?

Draco shuddered and Harry laughed. That boy has no taste, Draco said to himself, closely inspecting a shirt. Well, no taste in *fashion* anyhow. He must have some taste. He did chose *me,* after all. Draco smirked to himself as he looked at a green shirt. he exclaimed. This color would match Harry's eyes perfectly!

Draco! Hey, Draco! Harry called, making his way back over to Draco, holding something. Look what I found!

Draco smiled indulgently. What is it? Another pair of those grungy... Draco stopped mid-sentence, his mouth hanging open.

Harry smirked at him and held up the pair of leather trousers. What do you think? Yes?

Draco breathed, salivating over the tight, black trousers. My arse would look so good in those!

Your arse *will* look so good in these.

Draco nodded fervently. And look what I found *you* to wear, Harry.

Harry groaned. Oh, Draco, I don't know -

Go try it on, Draco said, shoving the shirt into Harry's hands. Go now.

Harry turned on his heel and left for the changing room without saying another word to Draco. There's just no use talking to him while he's shopping, he mumbled.

Draco called after Harry's retreating form. He looked down at the leather trousers. Oh, yes. My arse will look so good in these.

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TBC. It's not as perfect as I would want it to be, no, it's not, but I need to get this chapter out. Anyway, I think that's enough shopping for now. Chapter three should be the beginning of the party. Coming soon: Fred and George (Oh, hell ya!), and SEAMUS!!! Yeessss! And like I said before, please REVIEW. And thanks again to everyone who did/ is going to. Just a few comments...


- SoulSister said: they're like a cross between an old married couple and two little kids. but much sexier, by far

I couldn't agree more. They bicker, but you know they care. :P And they are SO SEXY.

- bone said: is there going to be anything about Ron's love life?

Hmm. I *have* thought about this, I just haven't decided yet. Do people WANT romantic Ron stuff? Because if you do, I will most certainly write it.

- bwaybaby79 said: I'm looking forward to more Dominatrix!Draco, BadSexJokesSeamus, Playa!Snape and FeamleTrevor. :D And Harry's kinda kinky w/the jello thing. Maybe he'll develop some new interests?

Should he have new interests?? Hmm. This means I'll have to think of something even kinkier than the jell-o thing... anyone have a suggestion? I'd love to hear it. ^_^

- ViEiRA said: Why cherry or was it the first thing which came into your head? And, (this has just come to me right now) if you're thinking about ANOTHER sequel how about vodka jelly or something?!

Cherry was on purpose, because, well, okay, it's sort of a thing. Not that Harry is virginal anymore, you know, hee. But, uh... ahem. Vodka jelly?!?!? I think I love you. *huggles* I doooo love you! What an excellent idea!!! I love it!! ^_^

- mandraco said: i can just imagine them going shopping. are you going to write that scene or just leave it up to the imaginations of your readers and skip straight to the party?

Actually, your review is what made me write this. I was gonna skip straight to the party. Too bad this chapter sux, or writing it would be okay...


And YES, I am fully aware that this chapter is below my standards. Just rest assured when I tell you that I will totally make it up to you. I promise. More Seamus and Neville and everyone. And thanks to EVERYONE who reviewed because I love reading my reviews and I laugh and everything. I just don't have anything IMPORTANT to say in response to them. Unless you consider an intelligent comment... R&R!!!!!