Disclaimer: Same as before. And I did not make up Pippin's thing about
cheaters, somebody else did.
Ch 29- Parting of the Ways.
A/N The Potions Mistress wrote this chapter.
Elrond: (comes out with arm around Cho) So have you guys completed the mission? Saurumon has been destroyed?
Merry: Not quite…
Dumbedore: You see, it turns out that Severus was behind it all. (gestures to bound Snape)
Elrond: You bastard! I wasted precious energy on that plan. Ah, whatever.
Dumbledore: We'd like to go home now.
Elrond: 'K Bye.
Dumbledore: We need Miss Chang.
Cho: I'm staying here with my elven love.
(Elrond sits down and Cho sits on his lap.)
Legolas: All right then, have some tequila to celebrate.
Cho: Cool! (Cho takes a drink. Elrond is stroking Cho's hair.)
Merry: Wait for it…
(Cho screams and a slapping noise fills the air followed by a man's howl of pain.)
Cho: GET YOUR DIRTY HANDS OFF ME YOU DISGUSTING OLD MAN!
Elrond: Cho? What did I do? You love me!
Cho: Ewwwwww! (jumps off of him and shakes with disgust.)
Elrond: Are you trying to kill me girl? Do you know that I can DIE of a broken heart?
Dumbledore: She was under a spell, put on her by Snape.
Cho: You idiot!
Dumbledore: Respect your elders, Cho, no matter how despicable they are.
Ron: But why? I don't understand why he did any of this. For fun?
(Dumbledore untapes Snape's mouth.)
Snape: I was trying to make all of the Hogwarts kids fall in love with people from middle-earth so they would want to stay here and Draco would be the star student at Hogwarts and I could be Headmaster. And I would have gotten away with it too if it hadn't been for those pesky kids and their hobbit too.
Ron: But wait, I didn't fall in love with anyone.
Draco: We just figured that you weren't much of a threat for me Weasley. I mean, come on, me or Weasley?
(Ron actually looks hurt.)
Pippin: You cheaters! I hate cheaters. We need to sweep aside those parasites of subsidized classrooms, who live on the profits of the minds of others and proclaim that man needs no morality, no values… (shakes head) Hey, has anyone seen my jellybeans?
(Everyone stares dumbfounded at Pippin.)
Pippin: What?
Aragorn: I seriously wonder about that hobbit sometimes.
(Ron emerges from a building carrying the bunny suit. He pulls out his wand.)
Ron: INCINDIO! (the suit bursts into flames) Ah. (he chucks the cursed thing into Elrond's fireplace.)
Merry: Can somebody please fix my hair?
Dumbedore: It will wear off in a few days.
Merry: Errrr.
Dumbedore: (waves wand. The mirror appears) I think it's time we head off now. My board of teachers needs to decide what to do with Severus.
Gandalf: Well it's been jolly good seeing you again Albus.
Dumbledore: Likewise Gandalf. (They hug.)
Elrond: Bye Cho.
Cho: Shove it, pedophile!
Elrond: It wasn't my fault. When you're 5000 and some beautiful teenager throws himself at you, we'll see what you do!
McGonagall: Don't worry Elrond, I still think you're sexy.
Elrond: Thanks Minerva.
Lavender: Goodbye Legolas.
Legolas: Bye Lav. I'm sorry for what happened.
Lavender: It's ok. You couldn't help it. You should come visit Hogwarts sometime.
Legolas: You know what? I should.
Merry: Yes, we all should.
Dumbledore: I don't know about this…
Harry: Oh come on, Headmaster, it'd be fun.
Sam: Oh yes, it would.
Dumbledore: I'll think about it. And now, Miss Weasley, you're time has come.
Frodo: Noooo!
Dumbledore: Yes. She must do it. Drink the tequila.
Ginny: I love you.
Frodo: I love you too, with all of my heart. Just promise me that you won't hate me after you're cured.
Ginny: Goodbye. (kisses him. Takes a swig of the tequila.)
(Everyone waits breathlessly to see what happens.)
Ginny: (after a moment of silence) I don't feel any different. Am I supposed to still love Frodo?
Frodo: Ginny, you still love me?
Ginny: Yeah.
Frodo: Oh thank God! (they hug)
Cho: Awww… Snape's potion must have missed her.
Ron: (dry) That's real cute, Gin. Wait till mum meets him.
Herm: And Fred and George.
Frodo: How many brothers do you have?
Ginny: Well, let's see, Bill, Charlie, Percy, Fred, George, and Ron. And they're all older than me.
Merry: So basically, if you break her heart you're a dead hobbit.
Ginny: Aww, but he won't break my heart.
Dumbledore: Say goodbye and let's go. Oh, and tell the Lady of the Wood that she is welcome to visit at any time
Hermione: Thanks for a great time guys, even if I did have to make out with the hobbit.
Merry: Oh why don't you… let's be friends, ok?
Herm: Are you sure?
Merry: Yeah. I'm sorry for being an asshole.
Herm: And I'm sorry for getting pissed off after you tripped over my newspapers. (they shake hands)
Aragorn: Hey, Harry, no hard feelings man.
Harry: Good. I'm sorry Arwen.
Arwen: It's ok.
Dumbledore: Can… we… just…
McGonagall: For heaven's sake, Albus, we're going. Keep your robe on. (Runs at full speed at the mirror. It swallows her.)
Dumbledore: I'm going through with Severus and Draco. Bye all. (Runs through dragging Snape and Draco behind him.)
Lavender: I'm next. Bye Legolas. (runs through the mirror)
Harry: Wait a sec, what about Sirius and Lupin and Trelawney? Shouldn't we wait for them?
Elrond: Sirius and Remus have already been informed of Sybill's condition and are on the look out for her as we speak. And don't worry about them getting back, Harry. There's more than one way to get to middle-earth. (smiles)
Harry: If you say so. Bye everyone. (runs through mirror)
Cho: Wait for me. (runs after him)
Herm: Guess I'm next. Bye hobbits.
Hobbits: Bye Hermione.
(She runs through the mirror.)
Frodo: Are you going to come visit me Ginny?
Ginny: Whenever I can. You come to Hogwarts too. I can't wait until Pavarti and Padma and Angelina and Alicia meet you.
Frodo: Is your school nice?
Ginny: It's heaven on earth. (kisses him) See you real soon.
Pippin: Bye Miss Ginny.
Ginny: Bye you little cuties. (runs through the mirror. She arrives in a room with everyone else who just ran through.
Dumbledore: And now, to close the seal. (waves wand and the mirror stops glowing)
Ginny: No, wait!
Dumbledore: For what? The portal's closed now.
Ginny: Ron's still there!
McGonagall: Oh dear. Well, he'll just have to wait a while. The portal can't be opened again for a least another week.
Harry: Blimey, I hope those fangirls don't get a hold of him.
Ginny: Oi Vay!
THE END!!!!
Yes, my dear readers, we have come to the end. Tragic as this is, I would like to thank everyone who has read this and found it funny. I would also like to thank my teachers for not yelling at me while I did this in class, and Wanda for coming up with half of the crazy stuff in this story.
Sequel anyone? I already have some ideas for jokes going. Me and Wanda just need to work out a plot. Thank you again. And stay tuned for part 2.
Ch 29- Parting of the Ways.
A/N The Potions Mistress wrote this chapter.
Elrond: (comes out with arm around Cho) So have you guys completed the mission? Saurumon has been destroyed?
Merry: Not quite…
Dumbedore: You see, it turns out that Severus was behind it all. (gestures to bound Snape)
Elrond: You bastard! I wasted precious energy on that plan. Ah, whatever.
Dumbledore: We'd like to go home now.
Elrond: 'K Bye.
Dumbledore: We need Miss Chang.
Cho: I'm staying here with my elven love.
(Elrond sits down and Cho sits on his lap.)
Legolas: All right then, have some tequila to celebrate.
Cho: Cool! (Cho takes a drink. Elrond is stroking Cho's hair.)
Merry: Wait for it…
(Cho screams and a slapping noise fills the air followed by a man's howl of pain.)
Cho: GET YOUR DIRTY HANDS OFF ME YOU DISGUSTING OLD MAN!
Elrond: Cho? What did I do? You love me!
Cho: Ewwwwww! (jumps off of him and shakes with disgust.)
Elrond: Are you trying to kill me girl? Do you know that I can DIE of a broken heart?
Dumbledore: She was under a spell, put on her by Snape.
Cho: You idiot!
Dumbledore: Respect your elders, Cho, no matter how despicable they are.
Ron: But why? I don't understand why he did any of this. For fun?
(Dumbledore untapes Snape's mouth.)
Snape: I was trying to make all of the Hogwarts kids fall in love with people from middle-earth so they would want to stay here and Draco would be the star student at Hogwarts and I could be Headmaster. And I would have gotten away with it too if it hadn't been for those pesky kids and their hobbit too.
Ron: But wait, I didn't fall in love with anyone.
Draco: We just figured that you weren't much of a threat for me Weasley. I mean, come on, me or Weasley?
(Ron actually looks hurt.)
Pippin: You cheaters! I hate cheaters. We need to sweep aside those parasites of subsidized classrooms, who live on the profits of the minds of others and proclaim that man needs no morality, no values… (shakes head) Hey, has anyone seen my jellybeans?
(Everyone stares dumbfounded at Pippin.)
Pippin: What?
Aragorn: I seriously wonder about that hobbit sometimes.
(Ron emerges from a building carrying the bunny suit. He pulls out his wand.)
Ron: INCINDIO! (the suit bursts into flames) Ah. (he chucks the cursed thing into Elrond's fireplace.)
Merry: Can somebody please fix my hair?
Dumbedore: It will wear off in a few days.
Merry: Errrr.
Dumbedore: (waves wand. The mirror appears) I think it's time we head off now. My board of teachers needs to decide what to do with Severus.
Gandalf: Well it's been jolly good seeing you again Albus.
Dumbledore: Likewise Gandalf. (They hug.)
Elrond: Bye Cho.
Cho: Shove it, pedophile!
Elrond: It wasn't my fault. When you're 5000 and some beautiful teenager throws himself at you, we'll see what you do!
McGonagall: Don't worry Elrond, I still think you're sexy.
Elrond: Thanks Minerva.
Lavender: Goodbye Legolas.
Legolas: Bye Lav. I'm sorry for what happened.
Lavender: It's ok. You couldn't help it. You should come visit Hogwarts sometime.
Legolas: You know what? I should.
Merry: Yes, we all should.
Dumbledore: I don't know about this…
Harry: Oh come on, Headmaster, it'd be fun.
Sam: Oh yes, it would.
Dumbledore: I'll think about it. And now, Miss Weasley, you're time has come.
Frodo: Noooo!
Dumbledore: Yes. She must do it. Drink the tequila.
Ginny: I love you.
Frodo: I love you too, with all of my heart. Just promise me that you won't hate me after you're cured.
Ginny: Goodbye. (kisses him. Takes a swig of the tequila.)
(Everyone waits breathlessly to see what happens.)
Ginny: (after a moment of silence) I don't feel any different. Am I supposed to still love Frodo?
Frodo: Ginny, you still love me?
Ginny: Yeah.
Frodo: Oh thank God! (they hug)
Cho: Awww… Snape's potion must have missed her.
Ron: (dry) That's real cute, Gin. Wait till mum meets him.
Herm: And Fred and George.
Frodo: How many brothers do you have?
Ginny: Well, let's see, Bill, Charlie, Percy, Fred, George, and Ron. And they're all older than me.
Merry: So basically, if you break her heart you're a dead hobbit.
Ginny: Aww, but he won't break my heart.
Dumbledore: Say goodbye and let's go. Oh, and tell the Lady of the Wood that she is welcome to visit at any time
Hermione: Thanks for a great time guys, even if I did have to make out with the hobbit.
Merry: Oh why don't you… let's be friends, ok?
Herm: Are you sure?
Merry: Yeah. I'm sorry for being an asshole.
Herm: And I'm sorry for getting pissed off after you tripped over my newspapers. (they shake hands)
Aragorn: Hey, Harry, no hard feelings man.
Harry: Good. I'm sorry Arwen.
Arwen: It's ok.
Dumbledore: Can… we… just…
McGonagall: For heaven's sake, Albus, we're going. Keep your robe on. (Runs at full speed at the mirror. It swallows her.)
Dumbledore: I'm going through with Severus and Draco. Bye all. (Runs through dragging Snape and Draco behind him.)
Lavender: I'm next. Bye Legolas. (runs through the mirror)
Harry: Wait a sec, what about Sirius and Lupin and Trelawney? Shouldn't we wait for them?
Elrond: Sirius and Remus have already been informed of Sybill's condition and are on the look out for her as we speak. And don't worry about them getting back, Harry. There's more than one way to get to middle-earth. (smiles)
Harry: If you say so. Bye everyone. (runs through mirror)
Cho: Wait for me. (runs after him)
Herm: Guess I'm next. Bye hobbits.
Hobbits: Bye Hermione.
(She runs through the mirror.)
Frodo: Are you going to come visit me Ginny?
Ginny: Whenever I can. You come to Hogwarts too. I can't wait until Pavarti and Padma and Angelina and Alicia meet you.
Frodo: Is your school nice?
Ginny: It's heaven on earth. (kisses him) See you real soon.
Pippin: Bye Miss Ginny.
Ginny: Bye you little cuties. (runs through the mirror. She arrives in a room with everyone else who just ran through.
Dumbledore: And now, to close the seal. (waves wand and the mirror stops glowing)
Ginny: No, wait!
Dumbledore: For what? The portal's closed now.
Ginny: Ron's still there!
McGonagall: Oh dear. Well, he'll just have to wait a while. The portal can't be opened again for a least another week.
Harry: Blimey, I hope those fangirls don't get a hold of him.
Ginny: Oi Vay!
THE END!!!!
Yes, my dear readers, we have come to the end. Tragic as this is, I would like to thank everyone who has read this and found it funny. I would also like to thank my teachers for not yelling at me while I did this in class, and Wanda for coming up with half of the crazy stuff in this story.
Sequel anyone? I already have some ideas for jokes going. Me and Wanda just need to work out a plot. Thank you again. And stay tuned for part 2.