Disclaimer: I do not own Love Hina.
Pregnancy Test
Mutsumi then walks through the front door of Hinata Lodge and into the living room looking ten pounds heavier.
Mutsumi: It was me and Naru.
Naru: What?
Mutsumi: Yes, we both got very drunk at the party. Then we accidentally got in Keitaro's room and passed out. When I woke up, I went looking for more alcohol.
Mutsumi starts to smile
Mutsumi: Is anything wrong?
Naru: That can't be. I don't remember being in Keitaro's room that night or morning. How did I get out?
Mutsumi: I don't know. How did you get out?
Kitsune: Naru and Mutsumi, you know that you both have gained weight and been sick. Are you both pregnant?
Naru: AHHHHH!
Motoko chases Keitaro around the room. Su follows Motoko around. Haruka and Shinobu watch Motoko and Su chase Keitaro. Mutsumi laughs at all the excitement. Kitsune looks at Naru.
Kitsune: So, you and Keitaro have been doing nice or naughty things together. How was he? He He He.
Naru doesn't respond. She is in deep thought.
Naru (thinking): How could I be pregnant? I have never done *it*.
Naru blushes.
Naru (thinking): However, I've been sick for five weeks, and I've gained weight. Also, Mutsumi claims we were in his room after getting drunk. If I am pregnant, there is only one possible reason for it.
Naru glares at Keitaro with devilish anger.
Naru: Keitaro, you took advantage of me and had your way with my body! I demand satisfaction!
Everyone freezes and looks at Naru.
Kitsune: Well, that answers my question. Keitaro sucks in the sack. Ha Ha.
Naru (Fire in her eyes): Keitaro!
Naru stomps her way over to Keitaro and Motoko. Keitaro shivers with fear.
Motoko: Naru, allow me to punish Keitaro for you.
Motoko pulls out her sword. Naru looks at her.
Naru: No! I shall punish him this time.
Naru grabs Motoko's sword out of her hand and aims it at Keitaro. Keitaro still frozen with fear does not move.
Naru: Prepare to have you manhood removed!
Naru swings the sword at Keitaro pants.
Haruka: Naru, STOP!
Naru stops the sword one inch from Keitaro' crotch. She glares at Haruka.
Haruka: Naru, don't do anything rash until we learn the truth.
Naru: The truth!
Haruka: Yes. We do not know if anything has happened. You and Mutsumi could have just caught a bug.
Naru looks at the ground and drops the sword.
Naru: You're right. But if I am pregnant, Keitaro loses his best friends.
Naru points at Keitaro crotch. She walks out of the living room. Motoko, Kitsune, Shinobu and Su follow her.
Haruka: Keitaro, you are safe for now. Also, be... Did you pee your pants?
Keitaro has a huge wet stain in the front of his pants.
Keitaro (nervously): Yes.
Haruka and Mutsumi laugh loudly. Keitaro passes out from all the shocking developments in his life. Fifteen minutes later, Keitaro wakes up and hears people talking in the next room. He carefully sneaks over to the door and listens.
Naru: What do we do now?
Haruka: You and Mutsumi need to take a pregnancy test.
Su hangs on Motoko's back.
Su: Are pregnancy test delicious?
Mutsumi: I have two pregnancy test in my bag.
Naru: Why do you have two pregnancy tests in your bag?
Mutsumi: I got them in my Kindo-kun snacks.
Naru: What?
Mutsumi: The tests were prizes in my Kindo-kun snacks. Speaking of Kindo-kun, do you remember the time when two Kindo-chan thought Kindo-kun go them pregnant?
Naru: No.
Mutsumi: Well, one Kindo-chan ended up killing the other Kindo-chan to stop her from having a baby. Then the Kindo-chan married Kindo-kun. Wouldn't that be fun if it happened to us?
Naru: No! Give me that test, and lets take care of this.
Naru and Mutsumi go into two different bathrooms. Keitaro waits outside the door of one of the bathrooms.
Keitaro (thinking): They've been in there awhile, and I really have to talk to Naru.
Keitaro knocks on the door.
Keitaro: Naru, I really have to tell you something. I am sorry if I have gotten you pregnant, and I promise to do the right thing by marring you.
There is no response.
Keitaro: Are you there? I really plan to do the right thing and marry you.
Naru appears behind Keitaro.
Naru: So you plan on marrying her.
Keitaro: What are you doing there? I thought you were in this bath...
Naru punches Keitaro and runs off. Keitaro flies into the bathroom door. Mutsumi then opens the door.
Mutsumi: I think what you said is lovely, but shouldn't you tell Naru?
Keitaro chases after Naru to her room, but she slams hers door in his face.
Naru (thinking): Why did he tell Mutsumi he's willing to marry her if she's pregnant but not me? What am I thinking? I don't care what he does.
Keitaro pops into Naru's room through the hole in the floor.
Keitaro: Naru, I have to tell you something.
Naru (with hate in her eyes): How dare you enter my room without asking.
Keitaro: Naru...
Naru: What!
Keitaro: Those things I said to Mutsumi.
Naru: Yeah!
Keitaro: I meant to...say them to...you. I thought you...were in that bathroom.
Naru: What?
Keitaro: If you are...pregnant, I will...marry...you.
Naru's mind starts running wild with shock. Mutsumi enters Naru's room.
Mutsumi: Times up. The tests are done.
Naru (still in shock): That was quick.
Mutsumi: What do you expect? This is supposed to be a quick fan fiction?
Naru: What?
Mutsumi: Never mind.
Mutsumi, Naru and Keitaro go to the bathroom to check the tests.
Naru: Where are the tests? Do you have them Mutsumi?
Mutsumi: No. Do you know where they are, Keitaro?
Keitaro: How am I suppose to know? I wasn't there!
Just then Tama hovers into the bathroom with the pregnancy tests in her mouth.
Keitaro: Tama, give me those tests.
Tama flies off with the tests.
Naru: Get her!
Naru, Mutsumi and Keitaro chase after Tama. While chasing Tama, they pass Su, Motoko, Shinobu, Kitsune and Haruka in the living room.
Kitsune: What are you guys doing?
Keitaro: Tama has the pregnancy tests!
Naru: Help us catch her!
Everyone else gets up and begin to chase Tama.
Keitaro: Tama come back!
Su (smiling): When we catch her, I will eat her so that this will not happen again.
Naru: No! Don't eat her, just catch her.
They chase Tama to the roof of the Hinata Lodge. Keitaro jumps at Tama.
Keitaro: I got her.
Keitaro beings to lose his balance, and Tama slips out of Keitaro's hands. Naru grabs Keitaro, but his weight causes both of them to fall from the roof into the hot spring.
Naru: Damn it Keitaro! Why did you have to lose Tama?
Just then Mutsumi walks into the hot spring water, and Tama flies into her hands.
Mutsumi: Good girl.
Mutsumi looks at Naru and Keitaro.
Mutsumi: Why did we need to get Tama?
Naru: Because she has the pregnancy tests!
Haruka, Motoko, Su, Kitsune and Shinobu show up at the hot spring.
Kitsune: What colors are the tests?
Mutsumi: My pregnancy test turned blue.
Naru: My pregnancy test turned pink
Keitaro: Oh God!
Shinobu's eyes tear up.
Shinobu: You two got different results.
Shinobu runs off crying.
Su: Is blue or pink delicious?
Motoko: Keitaro, you have gotten either Naru or Mutsumi pregnant. I shall punish you.
Motoko raises her sword.
Haruka: Motoko before punishing him, we need to find something out.
Kitsune: Which one is pregnant?
Naru looks at Mutsumi.
Naru: Where did you put the directions?
Mutsumi; I don't know. Where did I put the directions?
Naru: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Mutsumi: I remember. I put them in the bathroom.
Haruka: I'll go get them.
Haruka leaves the hot spring. Motoko begins to sharpen her sword. Naru turns her attention to Keitaro.
Naru: Keitaro, you have dishonored either Mutsumi or me. For this, you will be punished.
Keitaro: Ummmmm.
Haruka returns with the papers.
Haruka: If the test turns blue, you are... It the test turns pink, you are...
Kitsune: Who is pregnant?
Haruka: Mutsumi,...you are not pregnant.
Naru wrestle Keitaro to the ground, and beats his head to the word baka.
Naru: Keitaro, you baka baka Baka Baka BAKA BAKA BAKAAAAAAAA!
Motoko and Su grab Naru off Keitaro.
Motoko: You are pregnant. Let us take care of him.
Su holds Keitaro down as Motoko pulls out her sword.
Motoko: I shall carve off your manhood.
Su: What's a manhood? Is it delicious?
Everyone stares at Su and Motoko.
Motoko: Manhood is not delicious.
Su: You have had it before?
Motoko blushes.
Motoko: No.
Su (confused): How do you know then?
Motoko: Just trust me.
Su: But if you never had manhood, how do you know?
Motoko looks at Kitsune.
Motoko: Kitsune, why don't you tell her what it taste like?
Kitsune (angry): I've never sucked on manhood.
Su: Manhood is like a sucker. Since a sucker is tasty, manhood should be tasty.
Naru: No it is not. Manhood is terrible.
Su: So you have had manhood?
Naru: No. Um I mean yes. I don't remember.
While everyone argues, Keitaro starts to sneak away. Then he feels a hand on his shoulder.
Naru: Where are you going?
Keitaro: Ummmmmmm.
Naru: Your not leaving yet.
Naru beats Keitaro to ground.
Naru: I will punish you for knocking me up!
Haruka: STOP! Naru isn't pregnant either.
Everyone collapses to the ground.
Naru: What? How is that possible?
Haruka: Mutsumi and Naru took different pregnancy tests. For Mutsumi's test, blue means not pregnant. For Naru' test, pink means not pregnant.
Mutsumi: That right. I had two different pregnancy tests from my Kindo-kun snacks.
Naru: Let Keitaro go. There is no proof he did *it* to me or Mutsumi.
Sarah and Seta walk into the Hot Spring unnoticed.
Naru: I do wish I knew how I got out of Keitaro's room five weeks ago?
Seta: I can answer that question.
Kitsune: Where did you two come from?
Sarah: Papa and I just got back from our trip.
Naru: Forget about that. Seta, how did I get out of Keitaro's room?
Seta: Sarah and I arrived at the Hinata Lodge after the party. While walking around, we found Mutsumi wearing a whip cream top.
Mutsumi: That why my top dissolved when I got alcohol on it.
Keitaro begins to picture Mutsumi in a whip cream top. His nose begins to bleed, but he covers it up before anyone notices.
Naru: Mutsumi, don't interrupt Seta.
Seta: After seeing Mutsumi, Sarah and I passed Keitaro's room and saw both of you in bed together.
Kitsune: What? So Naru and Keitaro did get it on. He He
Seta: No, they didn't.
Naru: How did you know?
Seta: You both still had your kinky clothes on.
All the ladies: Thank God. Kinky clothes!
Everyone looks at Naru and Keitaro.
Naru (nervously): I don't know what he's talking about, but why did you take me out of Keitaro's room?
Seta: Sarah told me to.
Sarah: Yeah, I figured that I could use this against Keitaro if he ever talks about my bruise. However, it looks like that's already come out.
Seta: What bruise?
Sarah: Never mind.
Naru: I'd still like to know why I was in there.
Mutsumi: I remember why.
Everyone looks at Mutsumi.
Naru: Why?
Mutsumi: Because we thought it would be funny if Keitaro woke up next us, his nose would have explode.
Naru (in shock): Really?
Mutsumi: That's why we were there and wearing kinky clothing.
Keitaro: What were you wearing?
Mutsumi: I was in a whip cream top, and Naru was wearing leather. Should we try that again?
Keitaro begins to smile and his nose bleeds.
Naru: No!
Naru looks at Keitaro.
Naru: What are you smiling and bleeding about?
Keitaro: Nothing.
Naru (with anger in her eyes): You die now!
Naru chases Keitaro around the lodge.
THE END