Chapter 21

Tara took her meals in her quarters and stayed away from Severus. She was feeling miserable but didn't know what to do about the situation. Madam Hooch was continuing where Severus had left off; teaching Tara how to utilize her powers, which she was starting to get a hold on, and as Tara's friend, had tried to get her to talk but to no avail.

Severus had come to see her several times but she wouldn't open the door to talk to him, and he respected her privacy so he didn't unlock the door himself to go in. But he was certainly depressed--days went by, then a few weeks. He was in a foul mood, snapping at his students even more than usual. Tara refused to come to the hall for meals, or leave her quarters unless it was necessary, and she would not speak to him. She had decided she wanted nothing to do with him, although she cried herself to sleep every night. It just seemed the best way to handle things. Her mother was very disappointed and upset for her, but agreed that it was better to find out before the wedding than after.

One snowy, stormy evening in early March, Tara went down to the storage room to play the piano. It had been weeks since she ventured out; she didn't want to take the chance of running into Severus, but she figured enough time had passed, so he probably wouldn't be looking or listening for her there. She unlocked the door and then said "lumous" and lit the room with her wand. She was very proud of that ability which had not so long ago been a distant goal. She played for about an hour and then the door blew open behind her. Damn door...she thought and whirled around, startled to see Severus standing in the doorway, looking at her intensely. The snow was blowing in and Tara shivered.

"Either close the door or leave, or both," Tara said sternly. She looked at the fireplace and muttered, pointing her wand at it and a fire began burning. Severus looked stunned. He closed the door behind him, stepping towards her.

"I must be drunk..." he muttered, "because I just saw something I can't believe. You just made a fire without damaging anything. Am I seeing things?" His words ran together and she saw that yes, he was drunk. He produced a bottle of red wine and a goblet from beneath his cloak and sat down beside her on the bench. She scooted over, away from him.

"Why won't you come to me?" he asked her, making a pained face.

"I don't want to anymore."

"Why the hell not?" he asked, pouring himself some wine.

"Because! The way you talk to the kids is appalling. I don't want to marry someone who is going to act like that to our kids one day..."

"What's that got to do with it? If we have kids, those are ours. I wouldn't talk to them like that..."

"How do I know that?"

"You'll have to trust me."

"Severus, I don't know if I can. It really really rubbed me the wrong way that one day--knocked my feet out from under me so to speak."

"I can't understand why, that's just my teaching...style."

Tara shook her head and hit a minor chord.

"I think it's too late," she said, and started the opening chords to an old Carole King song, It's Too Late.

She stopped, just where the vocals would start and looked at him. He was absolutely ripped. She had never seen him like this.

"I don't suppose you have one of those cigarettes, hmmm?" he asked.

"No. You don't want to do that anyway," she said, wondering why some people would want to smoke when they were hammered. Always seemed like a possible fire hazard to her.

"Damn. I was hoping you would have one..." he said, his voice trailing off.

"Nope. I flushed em. Plus, you said your potion would make it so unpleasant if I ever tried it again, I haven't been tempted. So you short circuited yourself there."

"Hmmmm. Tara, I think I'm feeling sleepy..." he said.

"Yes, I can see that. Why don't you take yourself up to your quarters and sleep it off?" she suggested, her anger starting to dissipate. There was something about him, being in the same room with her, for the first time in weeks--that was diluting her anger.

"Only if you help me," he said, a glimmer in his eyes.

"I'll help you get there if you want. I'd hate to think of you falling down all of those stairs," she said, hating it that she cared. She got up and so did he, a bit unsteadily. "Leave the wine here, you can get it later," she suggested. She put her arm around his waist, and he put his arm around her shoulders and they went out into the wind and snow.

The warmth of his body and his scent were making her feel giddy as they walked through the courtyard, the snow crunching under their feet. She threw open the door and they went in, and started up the stairs, in silence. Finally, they got to his quarters and he opened the door.

"Goodnight," she said, releasing her hold around his middle. He didn't release her shoulders.

"Aren't you going to make sure I am properly...tucked in?" he purred. Oh no.

"I think you can do that yourself." He made a face, and he released her and sat down. She went to his kitchen area and got him some water.

"Drink this down, and do you have any of that hangover stuff?" He nodded. "Where? You're gonna need it, babe," she said, and clapped her hand over her mouth at letting "babe" slip. A bright smile lit up his face. "You called me a nice name--a term of endearment," he said. "I think you still love me."

"No, I don't. Believe me," she said, but wasn't quite sure she believed it herself. She got him the hangover cure and set it beside him.

"I don't believe you," he told her. She said nothing.

"I have to go. I'll see you later," she said, turning to leave. He grabbed her hand and pulled her onto his lap.

"Severus! Don't do this!" she protested. He gave her a hurt look and released her hand. She stood up. "Goodnight, and make sure you take that stuff, else you are going to feel like hell in the morning."

"I will, Dr. Tara. Won't you please join me for breakfast tomorrow?" he asked.

"I'll think about it."

She left his quarters and paused outside the door. Her heart was pounding, she was dizzy, and felt like she was burning up with fever. This would never do. She shook her head and returned to her quarters and lay awake for what seemed like hours...could she have been wrong after all? Was it too late?