Summary: A crisis threatens Sookie and Lorelai's success with their new inn, and Rory fights to maintain her relationship with Jess in the face of her mother's opposition.
Rating: PG
Content: Nothing you wouldn't see on the show.
Characters: General Lorelai and Rory, with subplots of Rory/Jess and Luke/Lorelai
Author's Notes: This takes place sometime in the future. The events in the Previously on... are all fictional.
Music references: Cat Stevens. The Barenaked Ladies. The Beatles. The laa-laas. (There's a bunch of variations. Imagine whichever one you want.) A theme I'm calling Townie Mischief. (See the scene in Christopher Returns, where Miss Patti spreads the word about Chris through town for an example of what I mean. It's sort of sneaky sounding.)
Disclaimer: I own nothing. I wish that I'd been the brilliant genius to create these characters, but I wasn't. Sometimes I cry about it at night.
*
Announcer: Previously on Gilmore Girls
(RORY and JESS sit on the couch, watching a movie)
(Scene of JESS pouring coffee for LORELAI and RORY. JESS smiles at RORY)
Rory: (Voice Over) We're just friends, Mom. He really needs a friend right now.
(Continuation of earlier scene, RORY and JESS have started making-out on the couch. LORELAI walks in, stops in shock. RORY looks guilty.)
(LORELAI runs into the inn's kitchen, clutching a piece of paper.)
Lorelai: Sookie! She signed it! We own the inn now!
Sookie: Oh my god!
Lorelai: I know! Can you believe it? (They hug.)
(LORELAI and RORY mid argument)
Lorelai: I don't trust him!
Rory: What about me? You trust me! (She searches LORELAI's face.) Don't you?
(LORELAI doesn't answer.)
(LORELAI sitting in her kitchen talking to SOOKIE.)
Lorelai: ...the catch is, we have to be open for business in two months!
Sookie: (horrified) Two months?!
(Continuation of the argument)
Lorelai: Are you sleeping together?
Rory: What?!
Lorelai: Are you?!
Rory: (defensively) If we are, it's none of your business.
Lorelai: From now on, he's not to be in this house if I'm not here!
(LORELAI talking with SOOKIE)
Lorelai: Do you really want to do this?
Sookie: I really want to do this.
*
(Open on the Gilmore kitchen, RORY and JESS enter. RORY's still wearing her uniform, and they're both carrying backpacks.)
Rory: I can't believe you'd say that!
Jess: (Sits down.) I can't believe you're disagreeing with me!
(RORY goes over to the coffeepot and turns it on, then returns to sit across from him.)
Rory: It's just that there's no comparison! I mean, versus ! Which one are people more likely to have heard of?
Jess: Notoriety has absolutely nothing to do with quality! Just because no one's heard of him doesn't mean he's in any way inferior!
Rory: (crossing her arms) I'm sorry, unless we're talking about the movie Shakespeare in Love, where Rupert Everett is better than Joseph Fiennes any day, Shakespeare was infinitely superior to Marlowe!
Jess: (laughing) You're wrong!
Rory: I am not! Shakespeare's themes remain as true today as they were four hundred years ago, whereas time has rendered Marlowe's writing almost obsolete!
Jess: (rolls his eyes) You got that out of a book, and it's not true! Marlowe knew what he was talking about!
Rory: (leans towards him flirtatiously) Okay, prove it!
Jess: (Thinks for a beat) O, thou art fairer than the evening air, clad in the beauty of a thousand stars.
Rory: Fine. Doubt that the stars are fire, doubt that the sun doth move, doubt truth to be a liar, but never doubt I love.
Jess: (looking charmed and annoyed at once) You're impossible!
Rory: (smiling) Thank you! (She stands to check the coffeepot, then searches the cabinet for a clean mug. He gets up as she lifts the pot, stands behind her, and gently kisses the side of her neck. She startles.)
Rory: Spilling coffee is high treason in the Gilmore household!
Jess: (Instead of moving away, he wraps his arms around her.) Should I fear for my life?
Rory: (She leans back, covers his arms with her own, and turns her head to look at him.) I think I might be able to arrange a royal pardon.
Jess: Good.
(She turns to face him. He kisses her mouth lightly, his hands cradling her face.)
Rory: (pulls back to look at him) What time do you have to work tonight?
Jess: No idea. (smiles) What day is it?
Rory: Thursday.
Jess: Not till five, then.
Rory: Good. (La-las begin. She pulls away, grabs her mug of coffee in one hand and his hand in the other, and leads him into her room.)
(Opening credits)
(Laa-laas play in the background. The kitchen at the Independence Inn. LORELAI enters with a long roll of paper.)
Lorelai: Sookie, I need you to look at something.
Sookie: (drying her hands on a dish rag) What?
Lorelai: Okay. (starts to spread out the paper) Is this counter dry?
Sookie: Not really.
Lorelai: How about over there?
Sookie: Nope.
Lorelai: I'll just hold it then. (She unrolls the blueprint midair, and SOOKIE leans over her arm to look at it.) Now, these are the plans for the kitchen. The problem is, I think the stove is in the wrong place.
Sookie: (frowns) Oh, yeah. That's definitely not right.
Lorelai: I thought so. So where's the stove supposed to go?
Sookie: OhI don't remember!
Lorelai: (stressed) Sookie!
Sookie: Okay, okay, okay, let me think! (She closes her eyes, mapping an invisible kitchen in her mind.) So the counter's over there, right? Which means the fridge is there(she gestures and knocks over a bowl of cherry tomatoes.) Oops! (giggles) One sec, I'll clean that up!
(As she bends down, MICHEL enters. He stands behind LORELAI and clears his throat.)
Lorelai: (not turning around) Yes, Michel?
Michel: I understand that you are very busy with your little house drawings, but I would greatly appreciate it if you did not completely ignore your actual job.
Lorelai: Oh, poor Michel. Are you feeling neglected?
Michel: No. (LORELAI smiles smirkily at him. He scowls.) Visualize my patience as being like a very thin layer of ice, which you are now treading upon with large, steel toed boots.
Lorelai: (brightly) Okay! (He waits, staring angrily at her.) Phone call for me?
Michel: Yes. (He leaves.)
Lorelai: (half laughing) I think if he has to come get me once more, Michel will have a nervous breakdown and we'll find him drooling on the reservation book.
Sookie: Come on, take pity on the guy. We have been extra distracted these last few weeks.
Lorelai: I know. (She hands SOOKIE the plans) Try to remember about the stove, okay?
Sookie: Okay.
(LORELAI walks out behind the counter and picks up the phone.)
Lorelai: Independence Inn, Lorelai speaking. (pause) Oh hi! We were just— (pause) Uh-huh. (Her face falls.) Okay, but you'll still be— (pause) What? You can't do that! (pause) Isn't there anyone you can call? (pause) Look, I really can't afford to...(pause) I see. (Pauses, then says quietly.) No, no, I'll figure something out. Okay. Bye, then. (She puts down the phone, and stands there for a moment, looking lost.)
(LORELAI reenters the kitchen, looking close to tears, or panic. SOOKIE's studying the floor plans.)
Sookie: (giggly) I figured it out! See, I was picturing the counter over there when it's actually—(she sees LORELAI's face) What's wrong, sweetie?
Lorelai: (blankly) Um, that was the contractor on the phone. He said that—he said that he can't do the renovation for the inn.
Sookie: (horrified) What?! How could this happen?!
Lorelai: (sitting down on a stool) Apparently he had a fight with his partner, they've dissolved the company, and he's returning to the family business in Milwaukee.
Sookie: But what about us?! He can't just up and leave!
Lorelai: Well, I tried to tell him that, but he started to cry so I dropped it. I mean, it's not like we have the money to sue him or anything.
Sookie: So what are we going to do?
Lorelai: I have no idea. Anyone we could hire now would never be able to start in time. (She sighs.) I guess we'll just have to open later.
Sookie: But then they won't be able to put us in that book!
Lorelai: I know, but there'll be other guide books.
Sookie: Not like that one! I had the menu all planned and everything!
Lorelai: I know you did, sweetie. (She tries to smile and fails. SOOKIE looks worried.)
(It's drizzling as LORELAI crosses the town common and enters Luke's. LUKE walks over and pours her a cup of coffee. She sits at the counter, looking depressed.)
Luke: What's up?
Lorelai: I don't want to talk about it.
Luke: Okay. (He starts to walk away.)
Lorelai: (slams down her mug) People can be so irresponsible! (LUKE turns around and comes back, leaning against the counter to listen.)
Luke: Why do you say that?
Lorelai: It's the stupid contractor Sookie and I hired to renovate the inn! He just called and canceled, and now it'll be weeks before we can find someone else to do it!
Luke: Well, don't worry. I'm sure it'll all get done eventually.
Lorelai: That's the problem! There is no eventually!
Luke: What do you mean?
Lorelai: We got this incredible offer from a friend of Mia's who's writing a guidebook of New England inns. As a favor, Mia asked him to review us. (She takes a sip of the coffee.) And it would be perfect—it was his review that got the Independence Inn off the ground—but he has a deadline, and needs to have the review written in three weeks!
Luke: (surprised) Three weeks!
Lorelai: I know! (She takes another sip.) I hate people! They never do what they say they're going to do!
Luke: Tell me about it! Jess was supposed to be here for his shift half an hour ago, but do you see him anywhere?
Lorelai: (suspicious) Jess isn't here?
Luke: Of course not! (LORELAI sits up straight, watching him wide eyed.) I swear to God, someday I'm going to—
Lorelai: (sharply) You know what? I have to go! (She jumps up and leaves. LUKE watches her go.)
(La-las in background. Rory's room. RORY and JESS are curled up together on her bed, each reading a book. RORY's book is Survivor, JESS's is Girl With a Pearl Earring. After a minute she puts down her book and studies him. He looks at her out of the corner of his eye, then raises an eyebrow.)
Rory: (smiles) How's the book?
Jess: Good.
Rory: See? I told you.
(She picks up her book again. After a second of silence LORELAI comes charging through the door. RORY and JESS sit up and JESS scrambles to his feet.)
Lorelai: (furious) I can't believe this!
Rory: Mom!
Jess: (Holding up his hands defensively) Lorelai, we were just reading, I swear.
Lorelai: (Turning her fury on him) You! Out!
Jess: Okay, I'm going. (He starts towards the door, and as he passes her she grabs his book.) Hey!
Lorelai: (Venomously) That's my book! (He pauses.) Now get out! (JESS leaves, and she follows him out into the kitchen)
(RORY enters the kitchen and stands nervously in the doorway. LORELAI pours herself a cup of coffee without turning around.)
Rory: (pleading) Mom—
Lorelai: Don't! I don't want to hear it!
Rory: We were just reading!
Lorelai: Do I look like I care? (turns around, stirring her coffee furiously) I can't believe you would deliberately disobey me like that!
Rory: I didn't think you were serious about that rule!
Lorelai: Why? Why would you think that?!
Rory: Maybe because it seemed more like something your parents would have done! And I thought you were better than that! (Looks disgusted) I guess I was wrong!
Lorelai: Oh, that was low!
Rory: (angry now) Deservedly!
Lorelai: I am nothing like my parents!
(RORY shrugs and goes back into her room.)
Lorelai: (putting down her coffee and following her) Hey! I don't have to take that from you! (RORY flops down on her bed.) Don't you dare accuse me of being like my parents! You have no idea how good you have it with me!
Rory: (sitting up) You know what?!
Lorelai: What?!
Rory: I am so sick of hearing you talk about what a saint you are! Everyone keeps watching me like I'm going to screw up, but you're the one who got pregnant at sixteen, not me!
Lorelai: Look, I may have screwed up, but don't go knocking me too much, okay! You're here because of my lapse of judgment!
Rory: That's a stupid thing to hold over my head! I didn't ask to be born, you know!
Lorelai: So what? I didn't ask for you to be born, either!
(There's a moment of stunned silence.)
Lorelai: Oh god, I—
Rory: (starting to cry) Get out!
Lorelai: Rory, I didn't mean that!
Rory: Get out! Get out! (She forces LORELAI out the door and slams it.)
(LORELAI sits down at the table and starts to cry.)
(first commercial break)