"Never lose"
By Pixie
Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own DBZ. And if you thought I did, well, I must say, you are crazy.
Pixie: I know what you're saying. "Finally, she put up another chapter. And this one better be long." Well…be glad at least a chapters up. And it's a good chapter too. Everyone confesses! Yea! Here it is, Chapter 15: The Confessions Arise.
Marron's POV
"Pan…I've been so awful" Pan opened her mouth, as if to speak, but I waved my hand to silence her. "I understand, you may have a confession too. But Pan…. I have to say this. I feel like I've been preparing my whole life to say this. Let me speak now, in hopes I will gain some peace at last for me soul." Pan nodded and Bra looked at me anxiously. Celeste simply stared at me, both fascinated and frightened of my upcoming story. I took a deep breath. From somewhere inside of me, a voice sounding like my mother's spoke.
"It's time Marron…its time." I started to speak, softly at first.
"Yes…it is time. But what time is it? The time of the end of our friendship? The time for my redemption? I do not know. Perhaps I will not know until this is over. Since I was a child, I have loved a man. A man called Trunks Briefs. I often dreamed of him, I saw us kissing in the moonlight. But this dream was never meant to be, was it? No Trunks, the most eligible bachelor in the world, had eyes for only one woman. You, Pan. He told me so…He wanted me to find out if you liked him or not. The way you wanted me to find out if Trunks liked your or not. Jealousy…its more dangerous than the deepest set hatred. It will eat your soul from the inside out and no matter how much you fight, it will never release you from its deadly grips. It took me, Pan. It tore me apart. It spoke through me, telling Trunks you never loved him, when you did, and telling Pan that Trunks never liked her, when he did. Why? The question repeats in my mind over and over again, a worn out recording. There is one simple battle. The battle of love. It is a battle that nobody can win…and yet, you will never lose. Never, ever lose…" My voice faded as Pan's shock and horror grew. I waited for the yelling, the silent hatred for me, or worse of all, the disappointment. I could not stand it if she was disappointed. But a reaction came that I never expected. Pan threw her arms around me, crying silently.
"Marron…I understand. And you are my friend. I love you, and I forgive you." My eyes filled up with tears and I was speechless. But still…
I wish she had been disappointed.
Pan's POV
Of course I could forgive Marron. How could I not, with my own dark confessions in my heart. There is one more tale to be told tonight in this grungy apartment.
"I too, have a confession. I too loved a boy. A very strange, very wonderful boy. His name was JP. Our romance was short, but loving. He was so kind, always putting others before himself. And his smile…he had a smile for everyone he met. And then one night…he took me out to dinner. I remember staring into his eyes, and the dawning of the moment. I had fallen in love. Later…we went back to And there…we made love for the first…and only time. I remember not wanting to…but then I fell victim to those eyes and that smile, and I allowed him to enter my body. We never thought of any protection. Because that night, we'd planned to spend our whole lives together. We even began making plans for our wedding. But…these plans changed. JP was hit by a car the next day, and killed. And I…I was left with a deep sadness, intimate memories, and a child. Yes, a child. JP and I's child. I loved him so much…so incredibly much. I felt like dying as well. And in a way, part of me did. And so, Celeste and I left, gamblers of the night, throwing out all we had, hoping for a better chance. Would it be thrown our way? Not now…not here." I looked up at them, mixed confused emotions in the mirrors of their eyes.
"Oh, PANNY!" Bra flung her arms around me, "Come back to Japan Panny." Her blue eyes pleaded with me more than her words. Could I? Could I forget, leaving the past behind, and move on for a new life?
Celeste's POV
"Go Pan. Return to Japan." I spoke before I even realized what I was saying.
"Celeste?" Pan's voice was soft, and still clouded with tears.
"We were wrong Pan. Very wrong indeed. We should have never left college. Our past is not in the places where it occurred. It is right here." I placed my hand on my heart. "Etched into our hearts is our every pain, our every love, and everything we've ever done or experienced. We ran Pan, we ran from a past. We should have realized then, that we could never lose our past. Japan is where you started. Its where you must go now."
"Celeste…I didn't know you spoke Japanese," Pan said.
"My grandmother, who I grew up with was Japanese. She spoke English and Japanese. I just learned both."
"You speak Japanese?" Pan said softly. I saw wheels turning in her head. I nodded warily.
"Come with me to Japan." Pan sounded so excited about it, but I wasn't sure. Yes it sounded wonderful. And my grandmother would probably want to come with me. I knew she always wanted to die in the land she grew up in. But I was still held back. Invisible barriers of my pain held me in place. I closed my eyes, thinking. An image formed in my mind. I saw myself breaking through glass, stepping into light.
"I'll go with you, Pan. We'll all go to Japan, me, you, everyone. We must break free of our past," I said, smiling. Pan's smile broke through her tears, a rainbow after the storm. Marron's smile as well joined ours. Bra however faced the door, looking scared.
"How long have you been standing there?" she asked.
"I heard Marron speak." The voice from the door was cold and heartless, the storm was starting again, clouding the rainbows. We all turned to the door, daring to see what lay there. A boy stood at the door, a boy I'd only seen before in photographs. I though for a second, before suddenly remembering his name.
"Hello Pan." The voice was the silky, softly dangerous voice, of Trunks Briefs.