Chapter 3
She let the water run soothingly over her fingers, washing away the blood that had begun to dry on her skin. Alessia rubbed and scrubbed quickly, trying to erase the memory of Connor's lifeless body lying in her arms, bleeding on her, killing her just a little more in spirit.
Cordy stood in the doorway, silent, and slightly awkward, and watched as Alessia turned off the water and slowly dried her hands and face. There was something so eerily calm about Alessia Chase. Something very quiet and poised stemmed from her actions, and Cordelia found herself examining the girl from a small distance, holding clean clothes in her hands. Alessia looked up and saw Cordy standing there, looking at her, and the two shared a long pause.
"I, uh…I got you some clean clothes if you want…" Cordy managed to speak comprehensively as she handed Alessia a pair of worn-out jeans.
Alessia, who had taken off the infamous denim jacket and placed it on the counter near the sink was now standing there in a white, bloodstained t- shirt.
"Thanks…" Alessia said in a quick breath as she took the pair of jeans slowly from her mother's hands.
"And, here…" Cordy said, also handing her a black sweater. "I didn't have any here, so this is one of Angel's. It's a bit large, but…I mean…if you want to change…" she found herself rambling out of nervousness.
"It's perfect." Alessia replied, with a reassuring nod. "Thank you. Really." She said in all honesty as the emotions on her face became clear for all to see.
"No problem." Cordy whispered, not knowing what else to say.
They both looked at one another awkwardly at first, but then Cordy regained control of herself and smiled nervously.
"I'll let you change. If you need anything…I'll…I'll be right outside." She said, swallowed back the millions of questions that sprung in her mind.
Cordelia walked out and shut the door, quietly, behind her. Once she was out and standing in Angel's bedroom, she let out a deep sigh, almost forgetting that she had been holding her breath all this time.
Inside the bathroom, Alessia closed her eyes and clutched the sweater to her chest. Swallowing back a couple of tears, she looked down at the piece of clothing in her arms and took a deep breath. She slowly brought the sweater to her face and smelled it. It smelled like him. It smelled like Angel. Alessia closed her eyes again and placed the sweater on the counter. After a few seconds of regaining her composure, she dug into the pocket of her pants and pulled out a folded piece of paper. Slowly, she unfolded it, revealing a small, torn out family picture that seemed to have been to hell and back. On it were the smiling faces of two small children, Cordelia, Buffy, Angel, Gunn, Fred, Wesley, Xander, Lorne and Skip. Cordy was holding a little 3-year-old girl in her arms while Buffy had her arm wrapped around Fred's shoulders.
A small tear rolled down Alessia's face as she looked at Angel holding Connor on his lap. After a moment, she took a deep breath and folded the picture back, placing it on the counter beside the sweater. She looked up and saw her reflection in the mirror and found herself on the verge of tears.
"I can do this…I can make this right…" she whispered to herself, leaning forward against the counter, emotionally.
--
Angel's eyes were glued to the stairs, where Cordelia and Alessia had disappeared a few moments earlier. He, Skip, Wesley and Gunn were going over some plan of theirs to prevent Lilah and Gavin from starting the ritual. And even though they knew they had to think fast, their minds were all elsewhere.
On the two women that had walked up those stairs.
"She'll be fine." Skip said, noticing Angel's constant glancing toward the stairs.
Angel turned to face Skip, suddenly snapped out of his own thoughts.
"They both will be." Skip continued, as Angel lowered his eyes for a moment. "But I think there are some things that they need to talk about. I know it's a shock, but…"
"That's an understatement." Wesley chimed in, looking up from his book.
"It is an unusual situation, but Angel, you don't have to worry." Skip tried to reassure the concerned look on Angel's face.
"I know, but I'm just…" Angel began and trailed off.
"…worried about Cordelia. I know." Skip said as a matter of factly. "But I think it'll be easier for Alessia to open up without having a crowd of people surrounding her. She's been through so much already…the things she's seen and lived…" Skip said shaking her head slightly. "Let's just say that she needs this time with Cordelia." He added, as Angel glanced at the stairs once again. "Don't worry. They'll both be fine." Skip smiled.
--
Cordelia was sitting on the edge of Angel's bed when Alessia finally emerged from the bathroom, wearing the new clothes that belonged to Cordy and Angel. There was a long silence as the two of them tried to think of what to say to one another.
"Are you alright? Do you need anything…?" Cordy ventured, hesitantly.
"I'm okay." Alessia answered simply.
The young woman then took a long hard look at her surroundings. Angel's bedroom. She remembered it so vividly. It was practically the same, except for the lack of windows, which Angel would have install later in the future, she assumed. This room was much darker and the furniture was disposed differently, but overall, it was just like she remembered it.
"Wow." She said in awe and smiled as she glanced around the room. "This is so surreal." She smiled to herself.
"What?" Cordelia asked, looking around to see what she could be referring to.
"I was born here." Alessia confessed after a short pause. "In this room." She then added, finally looking at a stunned Cordelia. "I mean, not that I remember – obviously. But I've been told the story often enough to still get that funny feeling." She let out a little laugh as she walked and sat beside Cordelia on the bed.
"You mean, you were actually born in Angel's bedroom? Your moth…I mean I gave birth to you here?" Cordy raised an eyebrow and waited for the girl to answer.
"Yeah…" Alessia said, staring at the bed she was sitting on. "Right on this bed. Or so you always told me…" she said touching the top of the covers with one hand.
As she did so, something around Alessia's wrist caught her attention; something she hadn't noticed before. Alessia seemed to be wearing a thick, metal bracelet tightly around her wrist. If Cordelia didn't know better, she'd have sworn that it seemed to hurt the girl. Impulsively, Cordy reached out and touched Alessia's wrist, tracing the contour of the bracelet.
As impulsive as her mother, Alessia jerked her hand away immediately.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean…" Cordy swallowed with difficulty, startled by the fact that Alessia had been startled herself.
"No, I'm sorry." Alessia apologized.
The two shared a long silence before Cordelia gathered the courage to ask.
"What is it?" she asked, referring to the piece of metal around her arm. "It looks like one of those things they had in Pylea…do you know about Pylea?" Cordy then frowned, not sure what this girl knew or didn't know.
"Yeah…"
Cordelia took a closer look at the bracelet and saw an inscription on it.
P:02
Alessia saw the puzzled look on Cordelia's face and pondered whether to tell Cordelia the truth or not about the identity of this bracelet and what exactly it was used for.
"It's nothing." Alessia calmly reassure Cordy. "It's just something I'm stuck with. It does look like those collars in Pylea, and its use is kind of the same."
"What?!" Cordy exclaimed all of a sudden, remembering what those collars were for in Pylea.
"Mine is deactivated. Don't worry." Alessia quickly affirmed. "It's a long story and it involves Wolfram and Hart, but it's not important." She said.
Cordelia wanted desperately to pry for more information but the far away look that came over Alessia's eyes as she looked down at her bracelet was enough to warn her not to. They once again shared a rather long, awkward silence, which Alessia broke with a very caring tone.
"You know if this is too weird for you…I'm sorry…" Alessia genuinely said, but Cordelia shook her head.
"No…I mean yes…it's weird…but…it's just mostly confusing." She admitted and Alessia couldn't help but smile to herself, nodding. "Can I ask you something?" Cordelia then hesitantly asked.
"Sure."
"Skip said that he prays to God we never see the things you've seen. What does he mean by that? What happens in the future?" She asked and sensed that Alessia hesitated to answer. "Alessia…what…What did you see?" Cordelia finally asked, her curiosity taking the best of her.
"I saw you die." Alessia finally whispered after a very long moment of reflection. "All of you."
Cordelia gasped as the words came out of Alessia's throat. She had to remind herself to breathe as she stared into the eyes of the girl sitting beside her. It seemed unreal that she was sitting there with a girl who claimed to be her daughter, and yet she knew nothing about her. It seemed unreal; then again, most things in her life felt that way nowadays.
"Tell me about you." Cordy then asked, carefully.
Alessia took a deep breath and looked down at her hands.
"Well," she began, thinking about where to start. "I'm 19 years old…" she said and noticed Cordelia's expecting eyes. "I don't what to say!" she then laughed out loud. "I hate broccoli…" she tried with a raised eyebrow.
Cordelia couldn't help but smile.
"I was born and raised in this hotel." Alessia suddenly continued, in a much lower and reminiscing tone and Cordy stopped smiling and listened. "I know every inch of it. Every dark corner and every spot of light." She paused and then looked at Cordelia for a long while. "You always said that I had my father's eyes. I think it was mostly the eyebrows. And he always said that I had your smile. I remember sitting in the courtyard, watching the sunrise with him…" Alessia said, remembering herself sitting on her father's lap at 5 years old.
Cordelia felt her mouth getting dry as a horrible thought crossed her mind.
"Yes he did." Alessia promptly answered, even before Cordy could even ask it out loud. "He died too."
"How? How did you know what I was thinking before I even…?" Cordy asked, clearly puzzled and taken aback.
"I am half-demon too, you know. And I do have about twenty something years of technology, practice and evolution on you. It's one of my powers…and one of yours that you have yet to discover." Alessia said with a smile.
Cordelia stared at her and her heart sank a little. She was half-demon. For some reason, Cordelia had almost forgotten about that; about the fact that any child of hers would also have demon blood in her.
"I was born with my powers and I developed them pretty quickly."
"So you read minds?"
"Sort of." Alessia said. "When I was little, you and dad refused to listen to Skip and bind my powers. He said that it wasn't good for a child to be able to peak into people's head on the street or anywhere. But you didn't want to do that…though you eventually taught me how to control it – thank God!" Alessia laughed.
"Why? What happened?" Cordy asked, intrigued.
"I think it was the sex talk at the dinner table that prompted the decision." Alessia said with a grin and wider eyes. "There are just some thoughts parents shouldn't want their kids to read!"
"Oh…OH!" Cordelia said, realizing exactly what Alessia was referring to.
"Yeah…after that, you trained me to control my power. And we kind of struck a deal. In honour of preserving a certain normalcy in our mother/daughter relationship, we agreed that I was never going to read your mind, and you would never read mine." She said simply. "And after that, I never did." Alessia confessed and then paused. "Except once…" she said as her eyes grew sad and she looked away from Cordelia.
"What is it?" Cordy asked, concern filling her voice.
"It's nothing." She dismissed but Cordy didn't buy it.
"Alessia, what is it?"
"It's just…nothing….it's being here…it's just hard, remembering." She said, tears filling her eyes. She then turned to face Cordy and began to speak again. "I remember the last time that I saw you…" Alessia whispered with tears in her eyes. "We had lost so many people already…and you were trying to hide us – me and Connor. I remember that you took us to this abandoned building, because you knew that they were coming to get you. I can remember it so clearly…" she continued, getting up from the bed and walking around the room. "That night, I watched you from the bed where I was tucked in, and I saw you standing by the window. You knew what was going to happen, and yet there you were, smiling." She added, amazed at the memory herself. "I didn't understand at the time how you could be smiling, watching the rain pour outside. I can still see it…I remember that in the middle of the night, you sat by my side on the bed, with tears in your eyes, and I will always remember what you said to me." Cordelia was listening to Alessia tell her the story of that night and chills ran through her entire body, as if she was living it. "You looked into my eyes and took me in your arms and told me never to be afraid of who I was or where I was from. You said that I could do anything and that I could be anything, and that no matter you would always be with me. You kissed my cheek and hugged me for a long time without saying anything, and then you smiled through your tears and told me that you were proud of me." Alessia said, her voice shaking under her tears. "You asked me to never let anyone convince me otherwise. You asked me to be a strong and brave little girl. And I know I asked you why you were crying, but you smiled and said that it was because you loved me." Alessia paused, taking a deep breath and wiping a few tears from her eyes. "You let me read your mind that night. You held my face and you kissed my forehead, and you passed on the visions to me. You stayed with me that night and held me until I fell asleep. And in the morning, when they came you asked Connor to take me with him and you hid us in a huge closet. I can still see you bend down on your knees in front of me and take my little hands and kiss them, and you said 'you can change the world Alessia. You changed mine.'" She whispered, reciting Cordelia's words. "I heard everything in there. The cries and the yelling and the fighting…Connor held me and we stayed in there. You had made us promise that we'd stay hidden. But I heard them drag you out into the rain…And even though I had promised, I burst through the door when I heard you scream. I remember going to the window and I saw them beat you up and shove you into a car. You weren't crying. You weren't even fighting anymore. And I stood there and watched…" Alessia breathed heavily and swallowed back the trembling in her voice. "And that was the last time I ever saw you…until now."
Cordelia was speechless. Tears were rolling down her cheeks involuntarily as she stared at a shaken Alessia. What was she to say now? What could she possibly say to that? Her heart broke at the thought of what this little girl had to see and endure.
"You gave your life, just like dad had done, to save me and Connor." Alessia said in a stronger voice.
There was that question again. Her father.
"Your father…" Cordelia began but Alessia cut her off.
"I can't tell you who he was. Is…will be…" Alessia said, now confusing herself with her verb tenses. "I like to believe that you don't me to find him…I like to think that some things are just meant to happen…"
Cordelia nodded, a little disappointed but at that point, a bit too emotional too care. She cleared her throat and spoke again in a weak voice.
"Were we at least happy?" Cordy said with tears in her eyes. "I mean, were you happy, just for little while at least?" Cordelia desperately needed to know that not everything had been horrible and tragic. She needed to know that with all her heart.
Alessia sat back down on the bed and smiled through her teary eyes.
"Very." She whispered. "You were happy, and most of all you were loved."
Cordelia felt a sigh of relief escape her throat at the sound of those words. She was loved. That thought seemed a bit foreign right now, but she held on to Alessia's words.
"My father loved you with all his heart, and gave his life for you…never doubt that."
They both took deep breaths and stood silent for a little while. After wiping the tears from their eyes, Cordelia raised an eyebrow, and looked at Alessia sheepishly.
"Can't you…like…give me a little hint? Just a tiny little hint…" she grinned.
Alessia pondered that question and smiled.
"You always told me that it was pouring rain when you realized that you were in love with him." Alessia grinned back.
"That's the hint? That's all?" Cordy said with wide eyes.
"It'll be enough, you'll see." Alessia whispered.
Angel stood in the doorway, unbeknownst to the two women, with tearful eyes, as he watched them. He saw Cordy tentatively reach a hand up and place it on Alessia's shoulder. The scene made his un-beating heart tremble. They never saw that he was there, but he had been there long enough to hear everything from Alessia's story. He swallowed back the lump in his throat and closed his eyes, unable to take the image of Alessia and Connor in a closet out of his mind.
"Angel?" Cordy's voice made him open his eyes quickly and he saw the two young women stare at him from the edge of the bed.
She let the water run soothingly over her fingers, washing away the blood that had begun to dry on her skin. Alessia rubbed and scrubbed quickly, trying to erase the memory of Connor's lifeless body lying in her arms, bleeding on her, killing her just a little more in spirit.
Cordy stood in the doorway, silent, and slightly awkward, and watched as Alessia turned off the water and slowly dried her hands and face. There was something so eerily calm about Alessia Chase. Something very quiet and poised stemmed from her actions, and Cordelia found herself examining the girl from a small distance, holding clean clothes in her hands. Alessia looked up and saw Cordy standing there, looking at her, and the two shared a long pause.
"I, uh…I got you some clean clothes if you want…" Cordy managed to speak comprehensively as she handed Alessia a pair of worn-out jeans.
Alessia, who had taken off the infamous denim jacket and placed it on the counter near the sink was now standing there in a white, bloodstained t- shirt.
"Thanks…" Alessia said in a quick breath as she took the pair of jeans slowly from her mother's hands.
"And, here…" Cordy said, also handing her a black sweater. "I didn't have any here, so this is one of Angel's. It's a bit large, but…I mean…if you want to change…" she found herself rambling out of nervousness.
"It's perfect." Alessia replied, with a reassuring nod. "Thank you. Really." She said in all honesty as the emotions on her face became clear for all to see.
"No problem." Cordy whispered, not knowing what else to say.
They both looked at one another awkwardly at first, but then Cordy regained control of herself and smiled nervously.
"I'll let you change. If you need anything…I'll…I'll be right outside." She said, swallowed back the millions of questions that sprung in her mind.
Cordelia walked out and shut the door, quietly, behind her. Once she was out and standing in Angel's bedroom, she let out a deep sigh, almost forgetting that she had been holding her breath all this time.
Inside the bathroom, Alessia closed her eyes and clutched the sweater to her chest. Swallowing back a couple of tears, she looked down at the piece of clothing in her arms and took a deep breath. She slowly brought the sweater to her face and smelled it. It smelled like him. It smelled like Angel. Alessia closed her eyes again and placed the sweater on the counter. After a few seconds of regaining her composure, she dug into the pocket of her pants and pulled out a folded piece of paper. Slowly, she unfolded it, revealing a small, torn out family picture that seemed to have been to hell and back. On it were the smiling faces of two small children, Cordelia, Buffy, Angel, Gunn, Fred, Wesley, Xander, Lorne and Skip. Cordy was holding a little 3-year-old girl in her arms while Buffy had her arm wrapped around Fred's shoulders.
A small tear rolled down Alessia's face as she looked at Angel holding Connor on his lap. After a moment, she took a deep breath and folded the picture back, placing it on the counter beside the sweater. She looked up and saw her reflection in the mirror and found herself on the verge of tears.
"I can do this…I can make this right…" she whispered to herself, leaning forward against the counter, emotionally.
--
Angel's eyes were glued to the stairs, where Cordelia and Alessia had disappeared a few moments earlier. He, Skip, Wesley and Gunn were going over some plan of theirs to prevent Lilah and Gavin from starting the ritual. And even though they knew they had to think fast, their minds were all elsewhere.
On the two women that had walked up those stairs.
"She'll be fine." Skip said, noticing Angel's constant glancing toward the stairs.
Angel turned to face Skip, suddenly snapped out of his own thoughts.
"They both will be." Skip continued, as Angel lowered his eyes for a moment. "But I think there are some things that they need to talk about. I know it's a shock, but…"
"That's an understatement." Wesley chimed in, looking up from his book.
"It is an unusual situation, but Angel, you don't have to worry." Skip tried to reassure the concerned look on Angel's face.
"I know, but I'm just…" Angel began and trailed off.
"…worried about Cordelia. I know." Skip said as a matter of factly. "But I think it'll be easier for Alessia to open up without having a crowd of people surrounding her. She's been through so much already…the things she's seen and lived…" Skip said shaking her head slightly. "Let's just say that she needs this time with Cordelia." He added, as Angel glanced at the stairs once again. "Don't worry. They'll both be fine." Skip smiled.
--
Cordelia was sitting on the edge of Angel's bed when Alessia finally emerged from the bathroom, wearing the new clothes that belonged to Cordy and Angel. There was a long silence as the two of them tried to think of what to say to one another.
"Are you alright? Do you need anything…?" Cordy ventured, hesitantly.
"I'm okay." Alessia answered simply.
The young woman then took a long hard look at her surroundings. Angel's bedroom. She remembered it so vividly. It was practically the same, except for the lack of windows, which Angel would have install later in the future, she assumed. This room was much darker and the furniture was disposed differently, but overall, it was just like she remembered it.
"Wow." She said in awe and smiled as she glanced around the room. "This is so surreal." She smiled to herself.
"What?" Cordelia asked, looking around to see what she could be referring to.
"I was born here." Alessia confessed after a short pause. "In this room." She then added, finally looking at a stunned Cordelia. "I mean, not that I remember – obviously. But I've been told the story often enough to still get that funny feeling." She let out a little laugh as she walked and sat beside Cordelia on the bed.
"You mean, you were actually born in Angel's bedroom? Your moth…I mean I gave birth to you here?" Cordy raised an eyebrow and waited for the girl to answer.
"Yeah…" Alessia said, staring at the bed she was sitting on. "Right on this bed. Or so you always told me…" she said touching the top of the covers with one hand.
As she did so, something around Alessia's wrist caught her attention; something she hadn't noticed before. Alessia seemed to be wearing a thick, metal bracelet tightly around her wrist. If Cordelia didn't know better, she'd have sworn that it seemed to hurt the girl. Impulsively, Cordy reached out and touched Alessia's wrist, tracing the contour of the bracelet.
As impulsive as her mother, Alessia jerked her hand away immediately.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean…" Cordy swallowed with difficulty, startled by the fact that Alessia had been startled herself.
"No, I'm sorry." Alessia apologized.
The two shared a long silence before Cordelia gathered the courage to ask.
"What is it?" she asked, referring to the piece of metal around her arm. "It looks like one of those things they had in Pylea…do you know about Pylea?" Cordy then frowned, not sure what this girl knew or didn't know.
"Yeah…"
Cordelia took a closer look at the bracelet and saw an inscription on it.
P:02
Alessia saw the puzzled look on Cordelia's face and pondered whether to tell Cordelia the truth or not about the identity of this bracelet and what exactly it was used for.
"It's nothing." Alessia calmly reassure Cordy. "It's just something I'm stuck with. It does look like those collars in Pylea, and its use is kind of the same."
"What?!" Cordy exclaimed all of a sudden, remembering what those collars were for in Pylea.
"Mine is deactivated. Don't worry." Alessia quickly affirmed. "It's a long story and it involves Wolfram and Hart, but it's not important." She said.
Cordelia wanted desperately to pry for more information but the far away look that came over Alessia's eyes as she looked down at her bracelet was enough to warn her not to. They once again shared a rather long, awkward silence, which Alessia broke with a very caring tone.
"You know if this is too weird for you…I'm sorry…" Alessia genuinely said, but Cordelia shook her head.
"No…I mean yes…it's weird…but…it's just mostly confusing." She admitted and Alessia couldn't help but smile to herself, nodding. "Can I ask you something?" Cordelia then hesitantly asked.
"Sure."
"Skip said that he prays to God we never see the things you've seen. What does he mean by that? What happens in the future?" She asked and sensed that Alessia hesitated to answer. "Alessia…what…What did you see?" Cordelia finally asked, her curiosity taking the best of her.
"I saw you die." Alessia finally whispered after a very long moment of reflection. "All of you."
Cordelia gasped as the words came out of Alessia's throat. She had to remind herself to breathe as she stared into the eyes of the girl sitting beside her. It seemed unreal that she was sitting there with a girl who claimed to be her daughter, and yet she knew nothing about her. It seemed unreal; then again, most things in her life felt that way nowadays.
"Tell me about you." Cordy then asked, carefully.
Alessia took a deep breath and looked down at her hands.
"Well," she began, thinking about where to start. "I'm 19 years old…" she said and noticed Cordelia's expecting eyes. "I don't what to say!" she then laughed out loud. "I hate broccoli…" she tried with a raised eyebrow.
Cordelia couldn't help but smile.
"I was born and raised in this hotel." Alessia suddenly continued, in a much lower and reminiscing tone and Cordy stopped smiling and listened. "I know every inch of it. Every dark corner and every spot of light." She paused and then looked at Cordelia for a long while. "You always said that I had my father's eyes. I think it was mostly the eyebrows. And he always said that I had your smile. I remember sitting in the courtyard, watching the sunrise with him…" Alessia said, remembering herself sitting on her father's lap at 5 years old.
Cordelia felt her mouth getting dry as a horrible thought crossed her mind.
"Yes he did." Alessia promptly answered, even before Cordy could even ask it out loud. "He died too."
"How? How did you know what I was thinking before I even…?" Cordy asked, clearly puzzled and taken aback.
"I am half-demon too, you know. And I do have about twenty something years of technology, practice and evolution on you. It's one of my powers…and one of yours that you have yet to discover." Alessia said with a smile.
Cordelia stared at her and her heart sank a little. She was half-demon. For some reason, Cordelia had almost forgotten about that; about the fact that any child of hers would also have demon blood in her.
"I was born with my powers and I developed them pretty quickly."
"So you read minds?"
"Sort of." Alessia said. "When I was little, you and dad refused to listen to Skip and bind my powers. He said that it wasn't good for a child to be able to peak into people's head on the street or anywhere. But you didn't want to do that…though you eventually taught me how to control it – thank God!" Alessia laughed.
"Why? What happened?" Cordy asked, intrigued.
"I think it was the sex talk at the dinner table that prompted the decision." Alessia said with a grin and wider eyes. "There are just some thoughts parents shouldn't want their kids to read!"
"Oh…OH!" Cordelia said, realizing exactly what Alessia was referring to.
"Yeah…after that, you trained me to control my power. And we kind of struck a deal. In honour of preserving a certain normalcy in our mother/daughter relationship, we agreed that I was never going to read your mind, and you would never read mine." She said simply. "And after that, I never did." Alessia confessed and then paused. "Except once…" she said as her eyes grew sad and she looked away from Cordelia.
"What is it?" Cordy asked, concern filling her voice.
"It's nothing." She dismissed but Cordy didn't buy it.
"Alessia, what is it?"
"It's just…nothing….it's being here…it's just hard, remembering." She said, tears filling her eyes. She then turned to face Cordy and began to speak again. "I remember the last time that I saw you…" Alessia whispered with tears in her eyes. "We had lost so many people already…and you were trying to hide us – me and Connor. I remember that you took us to this abandoned building, because you knew that they were coming to get you. I can remember it so clearly…" she continued, getting up from the bed and walking around the room. "That night, I watched you from the bed where I was tucked in, and I saw you standing by the window. You knew what was going to happen, and yet there you were, smiling." She added, amazed at the memory herself. "I didn't understand at the time how you could be smiling, watching the rain pour outside. I can still see it…I remember that in the middle of the night, you sat by my side on the bed, with tears in your eyes, and I will always remember what you said to me." Cordelia was listening to Alessia tell her the story of that night and chills ran through her entire body, as if she was living it. "You looked into my eyes and took me in your arms and told me never to be afraid of who I was or where I was from. You said that I could do anything and that I could be anything, and that no matter you would always be with me. You kissed my cheek and hugged me for a long time without saying anything, and then you smiled through your tears and told me that you were proud of me." Alessia said, her voice shaking under her tears. "You asked me to never let anyone convince me otherwise. You asked me to be a strong and brave little girl. And I know I asked you why you were crying, but you smiled and said that it was because you loved me." Alessia paused, taking a deep breath and wiping a few tears from her eyes. "You let me read your mind that night. You held my face and you kissed my forehead, and you passed on the visions to me. You stayed with me that night and held me until I fell asleep. And in the morning, when they came you asked Connor to take me with him and you hid us in a huge closet. I can still see you bend down on your knees in front of me and take my little hands and kiss them, and you said 'you can change the world Alessia. You changed mine.'" She whispered, reciting Cordelia's words. "I heard everything in there. The cries and the yelling and the fighting…Connor held me and we stayed in there. You had made us promise that we'd stay hidden. But I heard them drag you out into the rain…And even though I had promised, I burst through the door when I heard you scream. I remember going to the window and I saw them beat you up and shove you into a car. You weren't crying. You weren't even fighting anymore. And I stood there and watched…" Alessia breathed heavily and swallowed back the trembling in her voice. "And that was the last time I ever saw you…until now."
Cordelia was speechless. Tears were rolling down her cheeks involuntarily as she stared at a shaken Alessia. What was she to say now? What could she possibly say to that? Her heart broke at the thought of what this little girl had to see and endure.
"You gave your life, just like dad had done, to save me and Connor." Alessia said in a stronger voice.
There was that question again. Her father.
"Your father…" Cordelia began but Alessia cut her off.
"I can't tell you who he was. Is…will be…" Alessia said, now confusing herself with her verb tenses. "I like to believe that you don't me to find him…I like to think that some things are just meant to happen…"
Cordelia nodded, a little disappointed but at that point, a bit too emotional too care. She cleared her throat and spoke again in a weak voice.
"Were we at least happy?" Cordy said with tears in her eyes. "I mean, were you happy, just for little while at least?" Cordelia desperately needed to know that not everything had been horrible and tragic. She needed to know that with all her heart.
Alessia sat back down on the bed and smiled through her teary eyes.
"Very." She whispered. "You were happy, and most of all you were loved."
Cordelia felt a sigh of relief escape her throat at the sound of those words. She was loved. That thought seemed a bit foreign right now, but she held on to Alessia's words.
"My father loved you with all his heart, and gave his life for you…never doubt that."
They both took deep breaths and stood silent for a little while. After wiping the tears from their eyes, Cordelia raised an eyebrow, and looked at Alessia sheepishly.
"Can't you…like…give me a little hint? Just a tiny little hint…" she grinned.
Alessia pondered that question and smiled.
"You always told me that it was pouring rain when you realized that you were in love with him." Alessia grinned back.
"That's the hint? That's all?" Cordy said with wide eyes.
"It'll be enough, you'll see." Alessia whispered.
Angel stood in the doorway, unbeknownst to the two women, with tearful eyes, as he watched them. He saw Cordy tentatively reach a hand up and place it on Alessia's shoulder. The scene made his un-beating heart tremble. They never saw that he was there, but he had been there long enough to hear everything from Alessia's story. He swallowed back the lump in his throat and closed his eyes, unable to take the image of Alessia and Connor in a closet out of his mind.
"Angel?" Cordy's voice made him open his eyes quickly and he saw the two young women stare at him from the edge of the bed.