CHAPTER 6
Connor's tiny little hands and feet flew in the air, aimlessly, as he shifted his weight from one side to the other in the crib. A soft blue blanket lay on his stomach, and the familiar teddy bear sat at the end of his small bed. A few little cries escaped his throat, demanding some attention.
Alessia stood still in front of the crib for a few minutes, staring down at the child with wide, teary eyes. A part of her wanted to reach down in the crib and that the small infant in her arms, but another part of her was petrified at the sight of Connor. After a few moments of hesitation, she reached down and touched Connor's little hand with her fingers, trying to calm the baby down. When that didn't seem to be enough, she swallowed back the lump in her throat and took a deep breath. A small tear rolled down her cheek as she picked up Connor and brought him closer to her chest, holding him tenderly in her arms.
"It's okay…it's okay…" she whispered, trying to comfort the crying child. "There you go…" she said, her breath catching in her throat as the realization of the situation dawned on her. Connor slowly stopped crying, staring childishly into Alessia's face. "Hi…" Alessia's emotions were all over the place by that point. "Hey you…wow…you're so small. I remember you heavier." She smiled through misty eyes.
She looked at him for a moment, struck by the beauty of this little guy, and Connor began to play with her hair.
Lorne stood in the doorway, having gone out of the nursery for a little while. Connor was to be left alone for no reason whatsoever. Order of Angelcakes and the Princess. Lorne smiled, watching Alessia and Connor.
"Whoa…one day, you'll probably get how weird this is." She whispered, bringing the child towards the bed, unaware of Lorne listening to her. "This is usually your job." She smiled. "Holding me, I mean. I guess it's my turn to play the big sister, huh?" her voice was full of emotion as she looked at the baby's face. "Yeah…"
Lorne froze in the doorway after hearing her last tender words.
"Oh my god…" he whispered to himself, able to sense the vibes coming from her with such intensity.
--
"Come on…Come with me" Skip said a little while later, leading both Angel and Cordelia up the stairs, towards Angel's bedroom.
"What are you doing Skip?" Angel asked him, his concerned expression mirroring Cordy's.
"There's something I need to show you." Skip answered, slowly opening the door and leading them into the bedroom.
Angel and Cordelia walked into the room and quickly found themselves looking down at the bed in front of them. There lay a sound-asleep Alessia, her arm protectively around an equally tired Connor. The two of them rested above the covers, Alessia still fully clothed in Cordy's pants and Angel's sweater.
Angel stopped in his tracks, his eyes taking in the beauty of this sight. If his heart had been beating, it would have pounded against his chest like a hammer right at that moment. He swallowed back his initial awe-struck feeling and took an unnecessary deep breath, while Cordelia stood still by his side. Her face softened as she looked upon the two sleeping bodies. Two children, from two different worlds…two different realities.
"I'm a big believer in miracles, but even I never thought I would see that." Skip confessed in a hushed tone. "But more importantly, I never thought the two of you would ever see that again." He added, his demon heart trembling beneath all that metal.
"Skip…" Angel began but was cut off.
"When you look at that, what do you see?" Skip asked as they both stayed silent, not knowing how to answer that. "As much as Lilah's words probably stung, they were true. She's a stranger here. When you first laid eyes on her, she was a stranger to you." He told them both. "But when she saw you, I know for a fact that it killed her not to be able to run into your arms." He added, looking at Cordelia. "But she didn't. And she probably won't. Because she doesn't want to hurt anymore than she has to, but more importantly, she doesn't want to hurt you." Skip continued and then paused as he stared at Cordelia and Angel's captivated faces. "She's not going to tell you the truth. Not all of it. She's not going to tell you how your refusal to let Connor go brought all of this upon her." He said, shooting a glare at Angel. "She's not going to tell you, how you almost lost her, and how you almost died giving birth to her in this very room." He shot at Cordelia, his anger over the situation rising within him. "She's not going to mention how you were stuck here to give birth to her, with only Buffy and Faith to help you!"
"What…?" Cordelia managed to ask, completely stunned by Skip's revelation.
"That's right. Unlikely trio if you ask me… You remember a couple of years ago? You had an accident – pretty nasty one involving an abandoned building and a rebar?" he asked, referring to the time when she was impaled by a rebar, and Cordy nodded numbly. "The doctors thought you would never be able to carry a baby to term. Not only were seers never supposed to bear their warrior's child, but it could have killed you both. Did you care? No…because you wanted her. But of course, Ally's not going to tell you that. 'Cause she doesn't want to hurt you." He added before turning to face Angel. "She's not going to tell you how she came home from school one afternoon, when she was 10, and found you slaughtered on the floor, bleeding to death, dying in Cordelia's arms. She's not going to say how Fred got gutted in the middle of the street when Ally was five. Or how Faith gave her life to save your parents Cordelia…ally's not going to tell you how she only met her grandparents when she was 7 years old, or how she watched as Connor bled to death in her arms, Or…" he began and then stopped himself at the thought that was going to be verbalized.
Angel stood, mouth slightly opened, pained by Skip's harsh tone and words, while Cordy's eyes welled up with tears.
"Or what?" she chocked up.
"Close your eyes." Skip told the two of them.
Angel and Cordy were about to protest, but Skip pressed them with a threatening tone.
"Close your eyes. Both of you. I would normally not do this, but in this case, I find visuals to be a lot more effective." He said.
After a few moments, Angel and Cordelia closed their eyes, reluctantly, and Skip placed his hands over their heads, sending bolts of lightening through them. Just like a vision, Cordy and Angel found themselves staring at a scene in front of them, unable to move or speak. All they could do was watch.
[I]
[b]scene[/b]
A ten-year-old little boy held a tiny, scared little girl in his arms as they hid behind a car. Cordelia heard herself scream into the night while Angel jumped in front of the two children. Moving at a frightening speed, Wesley jumped over the car and stood in front of Angel and Cordelia.
Wesley's face quickly changed, fangs appearing and yellow eyes glowing into the darkness. With his vamp face on, he leaped in the air, aiming for Connor and Alessia, who sat, bundled up on the floor. Cordy's scream rang into the night and she threw herself in front of Wesley. Angel grabbed him by the shoulders, throwing him onto the ground. A battle ensued…one, which Angel found himself losing rapidly. Just as Wesley was about to snap Angel's neck, a tearful Cordelia swung a stake in the air and staked Wesley.
Wesley turned to her, his face now human, and Cordelia fell to her knees as he turned to dust in front of her.
[b]Bolt of lightening[/b]
Cordelia holding Angel's dead and bleeding body in her arms, crying.
[b]bolt of lightening[/b]
A grown up Connor stood strapped to a large wooden cross, screaming in pain as experiments were being done on him. Across the room, closing her eyes in pain, was a 16-year-old Alessia, chained to the wall, forced to watch Connor's torture.
[b]Bolt of lightening[/b]
Willow and Buffy wrapped their arms around a weeping Connor, gathering him close and whispering to him as they cried with him.
"It's going to be okay…It's going to be okay…" Willow whispered in his ear. "You and Ally will be okay."
"She loved you…just like her own. It's not your fault." Buffy cried as she held the young man in her arms.
[b]end scene[/b]
[/I]
One last bolt of lightening shot through their body and both Angel and Cordelia found themselves gasping, opening their eyes quickly.
Skip stood in front of them, in Angel's bedroom, staring at them with a serious expression on his face. Cordelia brought her hand to her face and closed her eyes as tears rolled down her face. They had felt it. All of it. They had not just seen it and heard it…they'd felt it. Angel's face twisted in pain as Skip's voice was heard once again.
"You want to know the truth?" he asked them.
After a moment of pondering his question, Angel clenched his jaw and said though his teeth:
"Yes."
"After the ritual, the Powers That Be wanted to take Connor into a safe place. His absence from this world would have lessened the chances of the ritual actually working to its full capability. But you refused." Skip confessed, finally. "The years went by and Connor grew up, and the Powers never offered to take him again. Just like on your Birthday Cordelia. It had to be your choice. They couldn't do anything, unless it was your choice. So Connor grew into a little boy. You Shanshued." He looked at Angel and took a deep breath. "Cordelia gave birth to Alessia…and then everything became sort of a blur. Friends and family began to die. You died." He said, once again referring to Angel. "And then Cordelia died. Ally told you about that…But the thing is, you didn't die right away. And even though, you had made Ally and Connor promise to leave and run away…they didn't. They tried to find you…but Wolfram and Hart kidnapped them. Why they didn't kill them I will never know, but I'm not sure what they did to Connor and Ally is any better than death itself." Skip told the story in a hushed tone, glancing at Connor and Alessia once in a while.
Skip then moved towards the bed, motioning for Angel and Cordy to come closer.
"You see that bracelet?" he asked.
"She said it had something to do with Wolfram and Hart…she said she stuck with it." Cordelia remembered, her voice shaky and emotional.
"She didn't tell you what it does? I'm not surprised. You see, Connor had a similar one. These things are connected to their DNA. It was part of the experiments that Lilah and her little group of merry men did on the two of them."
"What?!" Angel exclaimed, a little louder than he wanted.
"Drugs…pointy things…chains…programming…DNA experiments, testing…" Skip said and then raised his metal eyebrows. "Do I have to keep going?"
"No." Cordy nearly chocked on the words as she and Angel looked down at Alessia and Connor's sleeping forms.
"What the purpose of it was, I don't know. All I know is that no one should endure that kind of torture. What they put into their blood, Alessia will never get rid of. She ahs set backs some times…like aftershocks. Headaches, trembling, seizures. They were stuck there, for 2 years. And when they finally escaped, there was no way they could get rid of what W&H had done to them. It's in their DNA. That bracelet will never come off. She'll never be free of that." Skip said, his voice trembling as well. "And after she and Connor escaped, they went to the only people they had left. They went to Sunnydale. I'll skip the details…you saw some of it."
There was a long silence in the room as Skip paused and examined Angel and Cordelia's expressions. Heartbreaking. Pained. Sad.
Guilt.
"Take a good look at this image." Skip whispered, pointing to Alessia holding a sleeping Connor. "Not to go big on the Harry Potter rip-off here, but he's the little boy who lived. And she, the girl who survived. I saw them grow up, laugh and cry. So many times, the PTB thought that was it. That they would break. And they came close…but every time…every single time, they got back up. They lived for you. The two of you. Everything that they did, everything that they faced…every time they got back up…it was for you. And that girl, sleeping there, she may be wise beyond her years, she may be a young woman, a 19-year-old young woman…but she's still the girl who wants to be hugged. Who needs to be comforted. Who gets scared at night…she's still so very little in so many ways." Skip said, tearful himself. "I just want you to take a really good look…not just at them, but at yourselves. That's the only way this is going to work." Skip said and then headed to the door.
Angel spun around and called out to him.
"There is one thing you have to understand." Skip at last mentioned. "When all this is over and Alessia succeeds in changing the present and the future – and I know she will – the world as she knows it will disappear." He informed them. "She will have nowhere to go back to…her world will cease to exist to make room for a new one."
"So what? She'll just….disappear?" Cordy said through her tears. "Like she never existed?"
Skip paused, not answering that. But Cordy and Angel needed no answer. They knew, and it killed them to be confronted with the brutal truth.
"I have to go. You take care of her until I'm back." Skip said and then disappeared.
A breathless Cordy turned to face Angel, who simply looked at her with pained, tearful eyes.
--
Lilah slammed the ice pack on the conference table in front of her, sending all the little ice cubes scattering over the polished wood. A stern, not shaved, Groo stood in font of her, on the other side of the table.
"I want the book, and the boy, and I want them now. We can't waist any more time with this." Lilah spitted out.
Gavin shot a glare at FutureGroo, who then turned to Lilah and ventured:
"What about the girl."
"Get the damn girl too while you're at it!" Lilah said, her head throbbing and her patience thinning.
"And in exchange…" The older Groosalugg began, letting his voice trail.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah…we get you back to your own time." She said.
Groo nodded and steadily walked to the door, but was stopped by Lilah's shrieking voice.
"Oh!" she gritted. "And make sure not to bump into your old stupid, Rambo- wannabe present self while you're out there."
"What do you think I am, dumb?" Groo frowned.
"Well, I only have the present version of you to base that on. Do you really want me to answer that?"
With that Groo, left and Lilah let herself crumble into a chair.
--
Cordelia and Angel were sitting on the floor, their backs against the wall, a couple of feet in front of the bed, watching them. Connor. So little, so tiny, so innocent. Alessia. So exhausted, so young, so old. Angel and Cordy had been sitting like that, in semi-complete silence for about half an hour now, mumbling a few words here and there, but mostly just looking – and processing every word of Skip's.
The two sat close to one another, their arms brushing with every movement. Angel leaned his head back a little, noticing a tiny scar on Alessia's neck that he hadn't noticed before. It was more near her chin than her neck, and he just stared at it.
His daughter.
The simple thought brought on so many questions that he knew he should not – and could not – ask. It somewhat pained him not to share that knowledge with Cordelia, but he also knew better. There were reasons why Alessia had not blurted it out in the first place, and even though he knew that the girl was her to change the future, some things are better left unknown. Some things are better left to fate.
"You don't think…" Cordelia's tentative hushed voice broke the silence. "I mean…Alessia and Connor…you don't think that they're…you know…" she said with wider eyes.
It took Angel a few seconds to realize what she was referring too and he looked at her with a slightly shocked expression on his tired face.
"No…" he shook his head.
"Right…" Cordy said, not certain but mostly trying to believe Angel. "Because, that would be…that'd be way too weird…right?"
"Oh…" Angel sighed deeply. "Weirder than you think…" he whispered, almost to himself.
His comment didn't seem to register with Cordelia, as her mind was already on something else. She paused and then lowered her eyes, which Angel noticed since he had been staring at her pensive face by now.
"Angel?" she asked, hesitantly.
"Hmm?" he said, as fatigue seemed to overtake him a little.
"Am I going to be a bad mother?" she then asked, with misty eyes.
"What?!" Angel straightened himself and looked at her profile, while she stared at the bed where Alessia and Connor still slept.
"All these things that happened to her…I mean…I left her in a closet…and…I mean…will I do something wrong? Will all these things happen to her because I'm not a good mother?" her worries were genuine. Calm, but genuine.
"Cordy…" Angel said in a reassuring tone. "I don't think she would have come all the way back in time to save you, if you had been a bad mother. If anything…it means you'll be a great mom." He said and she looked up into his face.
"Thanks." She whispered, leaning her head against his shoulder as they admired the view. "Do you think she looks like me?"
Angel smiled to himself as he looked at Alessia's sleeping form.
"Cordy…she doesn't only look like you, she acts like you, talks like you, thinks like you, which is slightly scary, and at the risk of sounding gross, she smells like you." He said and Cordelia lifted her head from his shoulder to look at him with a raised eyebrow.
"Oh…and eewww…" she softly expressed, scrunching her nose.
"Well, it's not like I can help it. I can smell things." He grinned, looking down into her beautiful face. "You have a particular smell…a good smell…and she smells just like you." He whispered, which made Cordelia smile.
"Really?" her face lit up, almost childishly, and Angel couldn't help but smile at the somewhat excess of enthusiasm over this smelling thing.
"Wow…" Angel then marveled after a few minutes. "I'll shanshu…"
"We'll stake Wesley…" Cordelia tone was less enthusiastic and much more somber. "You know what the most disturbing thing about what Skip showed us was?"
"Wes being a vamp?"
"That too, but no. It was how I could feel it. Not just see it or hear it…I could feel what it would feel like…scary." She whispered.
They both fell silent again and Cordelia leaned back a little. They stayed like that for a few minutes, taking deep breaths, sighing heavily, and mostly just enjoying the calmness of it all. As Cordy's eyes momentarily rested on the little baby on the bed, her heart grew heavy and her eyes tearful. Skip's words came back to haunt her, and even though she didn't want to ruin this moment, the worries got the best of her.
"Angel…what if they ask you to give him up?" she ventured, looking at him with deeply concerned eyes.
"Cordy…"
"No, Angel, what if that's the choice. What if that's the trigger…that's the decision that set it all off. What if they come and ask you the same thing all over again…" she was talking so fast, Angel could barely hear the words she was speaking. "I mean…I heard Skip's story and I can see Alessia and what the future did to her…but if it means losing Connor…"
"Cordy don't talk like that." Angel whispered, holding back his tears as he cupped her face to calm her down. "Don't say that…"
"You know I'm right." She whispered back through her tears. "Changing the future will change everything…it will change her." She said pointing at Alessia, noting that the Alessia of the new future could possibly not by the girl that stands in front of them if they change the course of history. "On one hand, you could lose Connor…"
"And on the other…you could lose your daughter."
Cordy lowered her eyes but Angel still cupped her face, holding her close.
"I don't have her…how can I lose her." Her words were filled with sadness and regret.
"You could lose your chance to one day have her…" he said, almost reading her mind.
Cordelia looked up and Angel rested his forehead against hers, closing his eyes.
"We'll make it work…we're going to make this right…we'll find a way." He whispered, his cool hands holding onto the sides of her face as if it was his lifeline.
"Why do things have to always be this complicated around here?" Cordy sighed.
Angel opened his eyes and looked into her deep hazel. Their eyes locked and Cordy felt her heart skip a little beat, maybe out of confusion, maybe out of nervousness. Maybe out of anticipation. Slowly, Angel lowered his lips on hers and moved into a slow, long-overdue kiss. They marveled at the touch of their lips and then stilled. Cordelia pulled back slightly enough to look into his eyes and breathlessly spoke.
"What are we doing?"
Angel stared at her lips, and then up into her eyes before speaking.
"Complicating things." He answered as their lips met once again, willing and needing.
The kiss was more emotional. Deeper, more passionate, more intense. Their mouths moved in a slow, sensual rhythm, Cordy's hands moving up to meet Angel's wrists, and the whole world faded for a little while, leaving them to the beauty of the night…
-----
Connor's tiny little hands and feet flew in the air, aimlessly, as he shifted his weight from one side to the other in the crib. A soft blue blanket lay on his stomach, and the familiar teddy bear sat at the end of his small bed. A few little cries escaped his throat, demanding some attention.
Alessia stood still in front of the crib for a few minutes, staring down at the child with wide, teary eyes. A part of her wanted to reach down in the crib and that the small infant in her arms, but another part of her was petrified at the sight of Connor. After a few moments of hesitation, she reached down and touched Connor's little hand with her fingers, trying to calm the baby down. When that didn't seem to be enough, she swallowed back the lump in her throat and took a deep breath. A small tear rolled down her cheek as she picked up Connor and brought him closer to her chest, holding him tenderly in her arms.
"It's okay…it's okay…" she whispered, trying to comfort the crying child. "There you go…" she said, her breath catching in her throat as the realization of the situation dawned on her. Connor slowly stopped crying, staring childishly into Alessia's face. "Hi…" Alessia's emotions were all over the place by that point. "Hey you…wow…you're so small. I remember you heavier." She smiled through misty eyes.
She looked at him for a moment, struck by the beauty of this little guy, and Connor began to play with her hair.
Lorne stood in the doorway, having gone out of the nursery for a little while. Connor was to be left alone for no reason whatsoever. Order of Angelcakes and the Princess. Lorne smiled, watching Alessia and Connor.
"Whoa…one day, you'll probably get how weird this is." She whispered, bringing the child towards the bed, unaware of Lorne listening to her. "This is usually your job." She smiled. "Holding me, I mean. I guess it's my turn to play the big sister, huh?" her voice was full of emotion as she looked at the baby's face. "Yeah…"
Lorne froze in the doorway after hearing her last tender words.
"Oh my god…" he whispered to himself, able to sense the vibes coming from her with such intensity.
--
"Come on…Come with me" Skip said a little while later, leading both Angel and Cordelia up the stairs, towards Angel's bedroom.
"What are you doing Skip?" Angel asked him, his concerned expression mirroring Cordy's.
"There's something I need to show you." Skip answered, slowly opening the door and leading them into the bedroom.
Angel and Cordelia walked into the room and quickly found themselves looking down at the bed in front of them. There lay a sound-asleep Alessia, her arm protectively around an equally tired Connor. The two of them rested above the covers, Alessia still fully clothed in Cordy's pants and Angel's sweater.
Angel stopped in his tracks, his eyes taking in the beauty of this sight. If his heart had been beating, it would have pounded against his chest like a hammer right at that moment. He swallowed back his initial awe-struck feeling and took an unnecessary deep breath, while Cordelia stood still by his side. Her face softened as she looked upon the two sleeping bodies. Two children, from two different worlds…two different realities.
"I'm a big believer in miracles, but even I never thought I would see that." Skip confessed in a hushed tone. "But more importantly, I never thought the two of you would ever see that again." He added, his demon heart trembling beneath all that metal.
"Skip…" Angel began but was cut off.
"When you look at that, what do you see?" Skip asked as they both stayed silent, not knowing how to answer that. "As much as Lilah's words probably stung, they were true. She's a stranger here. When you first laid eyes on her, she was a stranger to you." He told them both. "But when she saw you, I know for a fact that it killed her not to be able to run into your arms." He added, looking at Cordelia. "But she didn't. And she probably won't. Because she doesn't want to hurt anymore than she has to, but more importantly, she doesn't want to hurt you." Skip continued and then paused as he stared at Cordelia and Angel's captivated faces. "She's not going to tell you the truth. Not all of it. She's not going to tell you how your refusal to let Connor go brought all of this upon her." He said, shooting a glare at Angel. "She's not going to tell you, how you almost lost her, and how you almost died giving birth to her in this very room." He shot at Cordelia, his anger over the situation rising within him. "She's not going to mention how you were stuck here to give birth to her, with only Buffy and Faith to help you!"
"What…?" Cordelia managed to ask, completely stunned by Skip's revelation.
"That's right. Unlikely trio if you ask me… You remember a couple of years ago? You had an accident – pretty nasty one involving an abandoned building and a rebar?" he asked, referring to the time when she was impaled by a rebar, and Cordy nodded numbly. "The doctors thought you would never be able to carry a baby to term. Not only were seers never supposed to bear their warrior's child, but it could have killed you both. Did you care? No…because you wanted her. But of course, Ally's not going to tell you that. 'Cause she doesn't want to hurt you." He added before turning to face Angel. "She's not going to tell you how she came home from school one afternoon, when she was 10, and found you slaughtered on the floor, bleeding to death, dying in Cordelia's arms. She's not going to say how Fred got gutted in the middle of the street when Ally was five. Or how Faith gave her life to save your parents Cordelia…ally's not going to tell you how she only met her grandparents when she was 7 years old, or how she watched as Connor bled to death in her arms, Or…" he began and then stopped himself at the thought that was going to be verbalized.
Angel stood, mouth slightly opened, pained by Skip's harsh tone and words, while Cordy's eyes welled up with tears.
"Or what?" she chocked up.
"Close your eyes." Skip told the two of them.
Angel and Cordy were about to protest, but Skip pressed them with a threatening tone.
"Close your eyes. Both of you. I would normally not do this, but in this case, I find visuals to be a lot more effective." He said.
After a few moments, Angel and Cordelia closed their eyes, reluctantly, and Skip placed his hands over their heads, sending bolts of lightening through them. Just like a vision, Cordy and Angel found themselves staring at a scene in front of them, unable to move or speak. All they could do was watch.
[I]
[b]scene[/b]
A ten-year-old little boy held a tiny, scared little girl in his arms as they hid behind a car. Cordelia heard herself scream into the night while Angel jumped in front of the two children. Moving at a frightening speed, Wesley jumped over the car and stood in front of Angel and Cordelia.
Wesley's face quickly changed, fangs appearing and yellow eyes glowing into the darkness. With his vamp face on, he leaped in the air, aiming for Connor and Alessia, who sat, bundled up on the floor. Cordy's scream rang into the night and she threw herself in front of Wesley. Angel grabbed him by the shoulders, throwing him onto the ground. A battle ensued…one, which Angel found himself losing rapidly. Just as Wesley was about to snap Angel's neck, a tearful Cordelia swung a stake in the air and staked Wesley.
Wesley turned to her, his face now human, and Cordelia fell to her knees as he turned to dust in front of her.
[b]Bolt of lightening[/b]
Cordelia holding Angel's dead and bleeding body in her arms, crying.
[b]bolt of lightening[/b]
A grown up Connor stood strapped to a large wooden cross, screaming in pain as experiments were being done on him. Across the room, closing her eyes in pain, was a 16-year-old Alessia, chained to the wall, forced to watch Connor's torture.
[b]Bolt of lightening[/b]
Willow and Buffy wrapped their arms around a weeping Connor, gathering him close and whispering to him as they cried with him.
"It's going to be okay…It's going to be okay…" Willow whispered in his ear. "You and Ally will be okay."
"She loved you…just like her own. It's not your fault." Buffy cried as she held the young man in her arms.
[b]end scene[/b]
[/I]
One last bolt of lightening shot through their body and both Angel and Cordelia found themselves gasping, opening their eyes quickly.
Skip stood in front of them, in Angel's bedroom, staring at them with a serious expression on his face. Cordelia brought her hand to her face and closed her eyes as tears rolled down her face. They had felt it. All of it. They had not just seen it and heard it…they'd felt it. Angel's face twisted in pain as Skip's voice was heard once again.
"You want to know the truth?" he asked them.
After a moment of pondering his question, Angel clenched his jaw and said though his teeth:
"Yes."
"After the ritual, the Powers That Be wanted to take Connor into a safe place. His absence from this world would have lessened the chances of the ritual actually working to its full capability. But you refused." Skip confessed, finally. "The years went by and Connor grew up, and the Powers never offered to take him again. Just like on your Birthday Cordelia. It had to be your choice. They couldn't do anything, unless it was your choice. So Connor grew into a little boy. You Shanshued." He looked at Angel and took a deep breath. "Cordelia gave birth to Alessia…and then everything became sort of a blur. Friends and family began to die. You died." He said, once again referring to Angel. "And then Cordelia died. Ally told you about that…But the thing is, you didn't die right away. And even though, you had made Ally and Connor promise to leave and run away…they didn't. They tried to find you…but Wolfram and Hart kidnapped them. Why they didn't kill them I will never know, but I'm not sure what they did to Connor and Ally is any better than death itself." Skip told the story in a hushed tone, glancing at Connor and Alessia once in a while.
Skip then moved towards the bed, motioning for Angel and Cordy to come closer.
"You see that bracelet?" he asked.
"She said it had something to do with Wolfram and Hart…she said she stuck with it." Cordelia remembered, her voice shaky and emotional.
"She didn't tell you what it does? I'm not surprised. You see, Connor had a similar one. These things are connected to their DNA. It was part of the experiments that Lilah and her little group of merry men did on the two of them."
"What?!" Angel exclaimed, a little louder than he wanted.
"Drugs…pointy things…chains…programming…DNA experiments, testing…" Skip said and then raised his metal eyebrows. "Do I have to keep going?"
"No." Cordy nearly chocked on the words as she and Angel looked down at Alessia and Connor's sleeping forms.
"What the purpose of it was, I don't know. All I know is that no one should endure that kind of torture. What they put into their blood, Alessia will never get rid of. She ahs set backs some times…like aftershocks. Headaches, trembling, seizures. They were stuck there, for 2 years. And when they finally escaped, there was no way they could get rid of what W&H had done to them. It's in their DNA. That bracelet will never come off. She'll never be free of that." Skip said, his voice trembling as well. "And after she and Connor escaped, they went to the only people they had left. They went to Sunnydale. I'll skip the details…you saw some of it."
There was a long silence in the room as Skip paused and examined Angel and Cordelia's expressions. Heartbreaking. Pained. Sad.
Guilt.
"Take a good look at this image." Skip whispered, pointing to Alessia holding a sleeping Connor. "Not to go big on the Harry Potter rip-off here, but he's the little boy who lived. And she, the girl who survived. I saw them grow up, laugh and cry. So many times, the PTB thought that was it. That they would break. And they came close…but every time…every single time, they got back up. They lived for you. The two of you. Everything that they did, everything that they faced…every time they got back up…it was for you. And that girl, sleeping there, she may be wise beyond her years, she may be a young woman, a 19-year-old young woman…but she's still the girl who wants to be hugged. Who needs to be comforted. Who gets scared at night…she's still so very little in so many ways." Skip said, tearful himself. "I just want you to take a really good look…not just at them, but at yourselves. That's the only way this is going to work." Skip said and then headed to the door.
Angel spun around and called out to him.
"There is one thing you have to understand." Skip at last mentioned. "When all this is over and Alessia succeeds in changing the present and the future – and I know she will – the world as she knows it will disappear." He informed them. "She will have nowhere to go back to…her world will cease to exist to make room for a new one."
"So what? She'll just….disappear?" Cordy said through her tears. "Like she never existed?"
Skip paused, not answering that. But Cordy and Angel needed no answer. They knew, and it killed them to be confronted with the brutal truth.
"I have to go. You take care of her until I'm back." Skip said and then disappeared.
A breathless Cordy turned to face Angel, who simply looked at her with pained, tearful eyes.
--
Lilah slammed the ice pack on the conference table in front of her, sending all the little ice cubes scattering over the polished wood. A stern, not shaved, Groo stood in font of her, on the other side of the table.
"I want the book, and the boy, and I want them now. We can't waist any more time with this." Lilah spitted out.
Gavin shot a glare at FutureGroo, who then turned to Lilah and ventured:
"What about the girl."
"Get the damn girl too while you're at it!" Lilah said, her head throbbing and her patience thinning.
"And in exchange…" The older Groosalugg began, letting his voice trail.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah…we get you back to your own time." She said.
Groo nodded and steadily walked to the door, but was stopped by Lilah's shrieking voice.
"Oh!" she gritted. "And make sure not to bump into your old stupid, Rambo- wannabe present self while you're out there."
"What do you think I am, dumb?" Groo frowned.
"Well, I only have the present version of you to base that on. Do you really want me to answer that?"
With that Groo, left and Lilah let herself crumble into a chair.
--
Cordelia and Angel were sitting on the floor, their backs against the wall, a couple of feet in front of the bed, watching them. Connor. So little, so tiny, so innocent. Alessia. So exhausted, so young, so old. Angel and Cordy had been sitting like that, in semi-complete silence for about half an hour now, mumbling a few words here and there, but mostly just looking – and processing every word of Skip's.
The two sat close to one another, their arms brushing with every movement. Angel leaned his head back a little, noticing a tiny scar on Alessia's neck that he hadn't noticed before. It was more near her chin than her neck, and he just stared at it.
His daughter.
The simple thought brought on so many questions that he knew he should not – and could not – ask. It somewhat pained him not to share that knowledge with Cordelia, but he also knew better. There were reasons why Alessia had not blurted it out in the first place, and even though he knew that the girl was her to change the future, some things are better left unknown. Some things are better left to fate.
"You don't think…" Cordelia's tentative hushed voice broke the silence. "I mean…Alessia and Connor…you don't think that they're…you know…" she said with wider eyes.
It took Angel a few seconds to realize what she was referring too and he looked at her with a slightly shocked expression on his tired face.
"No…" he shook his head.
"Right…" Cordy said, not certain but mostly trying to believe Angel. "Because, that would be…that'd be way too weird…right?"
"Oh…" Angel sighed deeply. "Weirder than you think…" he whispered, almost to himself.
His comment didn't seem to register with Cordelia, as her mind was already on something else. She paused and then lowered her eyes, which Angel noticed since he had been staring at her pensive face by now.
"Angel?" she asked, hesitantly.
"Hmm?" he said, as fatigue seemed to overtake him a little.
"Am I going to be a bad mother?" she then asked, with misty eyes.
"What?!" Angel straightened himself and looked at her profile, while she stared at the bed where Alessia and Connor still slept.
"All these things that happened to her…I mean…I left her in a closet…and…I mean…will I do something wrong? Will all these things happen to her because I'm not a good mother?" her worries were genuine. Calm, but genuine.
"Cordy…" Angel said in a reassuring tone. "I don't think she would have come all the way back in time to save you, if you had been a bad mother. If anything…it means you'll be a great mom." He said and she looked up into his face.
"Thanks." She whispered, leaning her head against his shoulder as they admired the view. "Do you think she looks like me?"
Angel smiled to himself as he looked at Alessia's sleeping form.
"Cordy…she doesn't only look like you, she acts like you, talks like you, thinks like you, which is slightly scary, and at the risk of sounding gross, she smells like you." He said and Cordelia lifted her head from his shoulder to look at him with a raised eyebrow.
"Oh…and eewww…" she softly expressed, scrunching her nose.
"Well, it's not like I can help it. I can smell things." He grinned, looking down into her beautiful face. "You have a particular smell…a good smell…and she smells just like you." He whispered, which made Cordelia smile.
"Really?" her face lit up, almost childishly, and Angel couldn't help but smile at the somewhat excess of enthusiasm over this smelling thing.
"Wow…" Angel then marveled after a few minutes. "I'll shanshu…"
"We'll stake Wesley…" Cordelia tone was less enthusiastic and much more somber. "You know what the most disturbing thing about what Skip showed us was?"
"Wes being a vamp?"
"That too, but no. It was how I could feel it. Not just see it or hear it…I could feel what it would feel like…scary." She whispered.
They both fell silent again and Cordelia leaned back a little. They stayed like that for a few minutes, taking deep breaths, sighing heavily, and mostly just enjoying the calmness of it all. As Cordy's eyes momentarily rested on the little baby on the bed, her heart grew heavy and her eyes tearful. Skip's words came back to haunt her, and even though she didn't want to ruin this moment, the worries got the best of her.
"Angel…what if they ask you to give him up?" she ventured, looking at him with deeply concerned eyes.
"Cordy…"
"No, Angel, what if that's the choice. What if that's the trigger…that's the decision that set it all off. What if they come and ask you the same thing all over again…" she was talking so fast, Angel could barely hear the words she was speaking. "I mean…I heard Skip's story and I can see Alessia and what the future did to her…but if it means losing Connor…"
"Cordy don't talk like that." Angel whispered, holding back his tears as he cupped her face to calm her down. "Don't say that…"
"You know I'm right." She whispered back through her tears. "Changing the future will change everything…it will change her." She said pointing at Alessia, noting that the Alessia of the new future could possibly not by the girl that stands in front of them if they change the course of history. "On one hand, you could lose Connor…"
"And on the other…you could lose your daughter."
Cordy lowered her eyes but Angel still cupped her face, holding her close.
"I don't have her…how can I lose her." Her words were filled with sadness and regret.
"You could lose your chance to one day have her…" he said, almost reading her mind.
Cordelia looked up and Angel rested his forehead against hers, closing his eyes.
"We'll make it work…we're going to make this right…we'll find a way." He whispered, his cool hands holding onto the sides of her face as if it was his lifeline.
"Why do things have to always be this complicated around here?" Cordy sighed.
Angel opened his eyes and looked into her deep hazel. Their eyes locked and Cordy felt her heart skip a little beat, maybe out of confusion, maybe out of nervousness. Maybe out of anticipation. Slowly, Angel lowered his lips on hers and moved into a slow, long-overdue kiss. They marveled at the touch of their lips and then stilled. Cordelia pulled back slightly enough to look into his eyes and breathlessly spoke.
"What are we doing?"
Angel stared at her lips, and then up into her eyes before speaking.
"Complicating things." He answered as their lips met once again, willing and needing.
The kiss was more emotional. Deeper, more passionate, more intense. Their mouths moved in a slow, sensual rhythm, Cordy's hands moving up to meet Angel's wrists, and the whole world faded for a little while, leaving them to the beauty of the night…
-----