CHAPTER 13
They could hear the rain falling on the top of the car as they all sat in silence, exhausted. Wesley and Groo sat in the front while Gunn, Fred and Lorne filled the back seat. The young ex-Pylean girl sat with her head resting on Gunn's shoulder, eyes closed, listening to the rain outside.
"How long has it been?" Gunn asked, his voice tired all of a sudden.
"A little over half an hour." Wesley replied with a deep in-take of air as he rested his head back slowly.
Fred opened her eyes and glanced at Lorne, who was silently looking out the window, probably trying to see Angel and Cordelia through the rain.
"Do you think they're going to be alright?" she asked in a strained, sleepy voice.
"Yeah sweetie…they're going to be alright." Lorne softly spoke, managing a tiny exhausted smile.
"Not exactly the happy ending I was lookin' for." Gunn whispered, leaning against t he cool window, an arm wrapped around Fred's shoulders.
"Oh, I wouldn't be so sure of that…" Lorne answered after a moment.
"What do you mean?" Fred asked, glancing out the window to see what he was looking at.
"Tonight, Princess and Angelcakes let go of the two probably most significant people who will ever come into their lives…but from where I stand, I don't see any pain or sadness." He said, staring at the two figures standing in the rain. "I see relief…peace." He whispered.
"How can we be certain that the future will not turn out to be just as horrible? How can we be certain that life will be better now?" Groo mused, speaking up for the first time in a long time.
"Faith." Wesley answered, as simply as possible.
"Who knows how things will turn out now…Who knows what the future will bring…" Fred sighed, listening to the rain.
"Only time, sweetie…" Lorne whispered, his eyes never leaving Angel and Cordelia's shadows. "Only time…"
--
They had been sitting there, on a bench under a little roof at the bus stop, for what seemed like hours. In silence. Side by side.
Angel looked at her and almost forgot that his heart could not beat. In that instant, he was certain he heard at least one tiny beat inside his chest. Her damp hair and soaking wet clothes made her look like a playful little girl, a teenager. Strands of hair stuck to the side of her face and she didn't seem to care. After a moment, Angel turned his eyes away, looking at the street where ambulances and police cars had previously roamed the place.
"She called me mom…" Cordelia finally let out in a strained whisper, awe filling her every word.
Angel turned to face her once again and their eyes locked. The rain had also had its effect on the vampire's face, Cordy thought. He looked much younger then usual. He looked vulnerable.
"I know…" Angel smiled, hearing Alessia's voice once again in the back of his head.
Cordelia paused, capturing the glimpse of happiness and wonder in his eyes as she looked at his handsome face.
"She called you dad…" she then added, in a bare whisper.
Her voice was almost hesitant, shy. Uncertain. But there was this relief and light on her face as she spoke them. Angel opened his mouth to say something, but he couldn't. The words simply did not come to him, and even though he was not prone to engage in long meaningful conversations, this time, Cordelia could not blame him. Speechlessness seemed very appropriate at the moment.
"Wow…" the word escape Cordy's lips after a long silence and she just looked down in front of her, grabbing the side of the bench gently with both hands.
Angel looked at her, waiting for more of that awe-filled comment.
"I saw her…" she continued, looking up into his eyes, knowing that he understood everything she was implying, all the things she didn't know how to describe. "When she let me look into her…I really saw her…" Cordelia swallowed back her emotions as a small tear of joy rolled down her cheek. "I saw her heart…" she whispered. "I felt…everything, as if I had been there. It wasn't like a vision, it was more like a dream…but the things that I saw…and felt…" she couldn't even express them with words.
She didn't have to. Angel understood it perfectly.
"I know." He replied, tenderly, as he took a deep unnecessary breath. "I've been having some dreams recently too that have felt so very real…" he confessed.
"What kind of dreams?" Cordelia asked, turning to him with the softest expression on her face.
"Uh…well…" he looked a bit embarrassed for a moment, if that's even possible for a vampire. "Just…dreams." He said, trying to hide the glimpse of a smile on his lips.
Cordy raised an eyebrow, smiling nervously, and then felt a little flushed for a moment.
"Oh." She simply said, smiling to herself, feeling a little embarrassed by Angel's confession, but also strangely amused.
The two of them sat there in complete silence for a few more minutes, before Cordy spoke again.
"You were alive…" she said, as if still not believing it, and Angel looked at her. "In her memories…you were alive…you had…" she stopped and then frowned, as if noticing something for the first time. "Facial hair??" she surprised herself by saying it out loud.
"What??" Angel looked at her suspiciously, and she suddenly let out a small chuckle as she remembered one of the images Alessia had let her see.
"You had this…thing…like you hadn't shaved in a couple of days…it looked…Well…" she laughed, remembering it perfectly now.
"From the look on your face, I'll throw a wild guess and say 'Funny'?" Angel said in a quiet voice.
Cordy looked at him with that smile of hers that he loves so much.
"Well, I was going to say handsome, but if you insist." She said throwing her hands in the hair.
The two of them smiled at one another softly and fell silent again. Angel heard Cordelia's rhythmic heart beat in his ear and found it somewhat comforting. After everything they had lived in the past three days – the things they'd seen and learned about the world and about each other – it almost seemed unreal that they would be sitting there feeling this way now. Angel had just let his son go, and Cordelia had watched her daughter disappear, and yet, there wasn't horrible pain, or deep sorrow. He didn't feel like staking himself or taking a walk into the sunlight. He felt…
Good.
It baffled him a little until he realized that Cordelia was feeling the same way. There was this warmth, this relief, peacefulness that overcame them. Faith in the future. Faith in the decisions they had been forced to make.
Suddenly, Angel felt Cordelia's fingers on his forearm and stood still. Her hand slowly traveled on his damp coat and finally found his cold hand. At the feel of her gentle, yet tentative touch, he slowly turned to look at her. She wasn't looking at his face. Her eyes were glued to their entwined hands and she held his gently.
"This thing…" she hesitated, as if looking for the right words. "These feelings…" she whispered, her voice strained and hopeful. "They were there long before Alessia came, weren't they?" she asked him, finally looking into his eyes.
Angel wrapped his fingers around hers and held her hand tightly into his and looked down. He simply nodded in response, finding it hard to capture his own voice at the moment.
"Angel…" Cordelia's voice was soft and sweet in his ears.
"Cordelia, I should have told you as soon as Alessia told me…I know this is probably not what you expected, or wanted…this is…" he quickly rambled on and on.
His words were cut short when Cordelia let go of his hand and grabbed his face tenderly, bringing his face down to hers in one long, emotion-filled kiss. The instant surprise of her gesture quickly wore off and all thoughts of what he had been about to say left him. The kiss seemed to last forever, happening all in slow motion.
When she pulled away, slightly enough to rest her forehead against his, she held her breath, despite the fact that she needed the air. She still cupped his face in her hands and finally took a deep breath, keeping her eyes closed. She felt Angel brush away the dripping wet hair from her face and tuck a few strands behind her ears. The two of them stood like that, speechless, for several seconds, lips inches apart.
"I was wrong you know…" Cordelia finally whispered, sending her warm breath brushing against his face.
"About what?" He softly spoke, holding the side of her face as well now.
"Things don't feel so complicated anymore…" she whispered, opening her eyes to look into his.
Their eyes locked and in that instant, they knew. With one kiss, they had once felt like they were complicating matters even more. This time, it felt so simple. So…right.
Slowly, their lips met again in a slow, deep kiss that grew both in intensity and depth as the seconds flew by. Their lips moved together perfectly, and Cordelia suddenly got a flash of those kisses in Alessia's visions. That love. That sense of belonging. It was there, with every touch and every kiss…she could feel it now.
[I] "You always said it was pouring rain when you realized that you were in love with him…" [/I]
Angel wrapped his arms around her, bringing her closer to him and Cordelia smiled and laughed softly through the kiss, as the sound of the rain all around them echoed into the night…
--
And as it always was, time went by. The events of that night, and Alessia's brief presence in their lives, would surely shape the years to come and the lives of everyone involved. That night, Angel and Cordy came to a silent realization. After that, one would have had to be blind not to see the connection and feelings between the two. Love. At first it felt strange on Cordy's lips. She never thought she would fall in love with a vampire…much less with one named Angel. But as the months went by, loving him became the easiest thing she'd ever done. It came naturally.
Lilah recovered from her gunshot wound, and never pressed charges against Cordelia for firing the gun. It probably would have made things too easy, not satisfying enough. But after many trials and errors, Wolfram and Hart became a mere threat to Angel Investigations.
And as it appears, Alessia had been right. A year later, Angel's soul was anchored permanently. And as the years went by, Angel and Cordy often saw glimpses of the future Alessia had known and described. Some good things, some bad ones. Faith's released from prison did not equal the end of her redemption, but slowly, she regained the trust of the people around her. And slowly, but surely, lives changed, became entwined, got pushed apart and then back together…the ups and downs of life, really. And somewhere along the line, friendships were reaffirmed, some grew deeper, love stories began and ended, some lasted…
Life went on. A new life. A new future.
[b]2006[/b]
"You!" Cordelia gritted through her teeth, her voice low, strained, and filled with pain.
Sweat rolled down her forehead and around her intense frown as she repeated her accusatory 'you' one more time. She clenched her jaw and closed her eyes, noises and voices slowly coming into earshot around her.
"You…" said again, this time letting her head fall back on the bed with a huge thump. "This is all your fault!" she said through her teeth, breathing heavily.
Angel gathered her into his arms but she pushed him away, obviously in pain and not knowing how to position herself anymore. Angel looked like a lost boy by her side, not knowing when or where to touch her, or when to speak.
"Alright, Cordelia…you're doing great…" Willow's voice was heard from the edge of the bed.
By her side stood two very horrified, twisted faces: Faith and Buffy. The two slayers seemed to flinch every time Cordelia did. Who would have thought giving birth would frighten the two probably most powerful slayers Cordy had ever met. Granted, they were the only two slayers she knew, but still…Willow, now a doctor, had rushed to Cordelia's apartment as soon as Cordelia had begun to have her contractions.
"Why didn't we go to a hospital?!" Faith let out, hurting for the woman lying on the bed before them.
"They tend to specialize in full 100% human babies…we never know, with Cordy being part-demon and all, what this baby will…" Willow started, looking up from her task.
"Willow!!" Angel and Cordy yelled at once and glared at her.
"Right. Perfectly human-looking it will be!" Willow corrected herself with an embarrassed grin.
Buffy and Faith had been looking in amusement for the last half hour at Angel and Cordelia's behaviors. Cordy had pushed Angel's tentatively comforting hands away from her several times. One second she was clinging to him and the other she was ordering him to stay silent and to not touch her. Both, Buffy and Faith, had to repress a smile at the baffled and concerned look on Angel's face.
"Don't.!"
"Cordy…"
"Don't…don't talk…don't say word…"
"But…"
"It's getting on my nerves…Angel…don't say a word!"
"What, they can talk to you but I can't?"
"Yes!!"
"Cordy…"
"That's a word!" she said through her teeth as she let her head fall back on the pillow with exhaustion and pain.
"But…"
"Another one!"
"Cor…"
A loud groan escaped her throat and Angel fell silent instantly, while Buffy and Faith burst out laughing on the other side of the bed.
"Hormones." Buffy simply told him, trying to reassure him.
"Next time, you get to carry it for nine months…" Cordy then said, breathing heavily and Angel nodded.
"Okay." He agreed instantly.
What was he? Stupid? Like he was going to argue with her [I]now![/I]
"You go through all the pain."
"Of course."
"You give birth to him or her!"
"Whatever you want." He nodded again, agreeing to every single word she was saying in her delirium.
"Why don't they make drugs for part-demons, huh?!" she then gritted and Angel squeezed her hand and swallowed back as he stood by her side.
Buffy, Willow and Faith exchanged an amused and envious glance as they watched and listened to the couple. One second they were arguing and the next they were whispering sweet nothings to one another. It brought a smile to the three women looking on.
Cordelia felt another contraction and grabbed the side of the bed, trying to hold back the painful groan inside her throat. Angel grabbed one of her hands, wiping the sweat away from her face, trying to say comforting things to her even through his awkwardness and nervousness.
"This is all your fault!" she said again, pointedly looking at him with an accusatory glare.
"That's right! Go Woman!" Faith exclaimed and Buffy elbowed her quickly. "What? I'm encouraging her…we're the pep-squad team…isn't that what we're here for?" she looked at Buffy as innocently as Faith possibly could.
"My fault?" Angel defended himself, still grabbing her hand. "May I remind you that you were quite active in this…in fact, you were…" he said with wide eyes.
"Okay!" Willow exclaimed suddenly. "Do we really need to hear this?" she asked.
Cordelia lifted her head and looked at Willow with a raised eyebrow.
"You've got both hands in placenta at the moment, are you [I]really[/I] going to start getting prudish on me [I]now???[/I]" Cordy breathed out.
"Right." Willow responded. "Point taken. Please feel free to continue." She pointed towards Angel, who suddenly felt embarrassed.
"You were up to the part about the juicy details of your hot and passionate sex lives..." Faith said when he didn't speak.
Buffy glared at her as if she was a child who had done something terribly wrong. Faith shrugged, bummed she didn't get her juicy details, but didn't have the time to respond. Cordelia painful scream alerted them all.
"Alright, Cordelia…I'm going to need you to push now…" Willow informed her. "You can do it…you're doing great…just a few more pushes…" she repeated.
"I'm pushing!" an irritated Cordy said through her teeth.
Cordy was obviously in pain and Angel wrapped his arms around her, holding her and grabbing her hand with his. He looked into her eyes and saw the sweat and the tears and the love and the fear…
He looked at a loss for a moment there, looking at her silently.
"Can I speak now?" he asked, his voice sounding like that of a child.
"Yes…" Cordy whispered, clinging to his hand.
Angel placed a long, loving kiss on her forehead, whispering to her, as the voices around them became a bit blurry. Cordelia heard Willow guide her through the very difficult delivery, with Angel right by her side through it all.
Outside, waiting impatiently, were the rest of the Scoobies and Fang Gang, as well as Cordelia's parents, whom Cordy was still estranged with, but both sides were making efforts. It was a beginning.
Hours later.
The small cries of a baby were heard in the room, while Cordelia almost limply fell back into Angel's arms, completely drained of strength and energy. Alessia had warned her the delivery was going to be tough, but this definitely had been worse than what she'd anticipated. She tried to catch her breath as Angel stroke her wet, sweaty hair with both hands, placing gentle kisses on her cheek.
"You did it…" Willow let out, emotionally drained as well. "Wow…" she whispered, looking down at her arms.
Cordy found the energy to lift her head as tears welled up in her eyes.
"Is it a boy or a girl?" she asked, expectantly.
"Whoa…nice tail…" Willow said her eyes growing wide.
Cordy and Angel jerked up with a loud: "What?!" and Willow burst out laughing. At the look on Angel's face, she realized the joke may have been too much.
"Where's the humor…" she smiled and then looked up to see Cordelia's exhausted face.
Willow carefully placed the baby in Cordelia's arms.
"You have a beautiful little girl…" Willow said, stepping back and joining Buffy and Faith near the door as they all watched the scene before them.
Angel felt his heart stop and held his breath as he looked down at the precious child in Cordelia's arms. Cordy's trembling hands wrapped around the tiny baby and a tear rolled down her face. She felt Angel's lips on her forehead as he held her in his arms.
A baby girl.
Their baby girl.
--
Hours later…
Cordelia was woken by the sound of a small, child-like voice filling her ears.
"Is that her?" she heard the voice of a little boy whisper. "Is it?" he repeated, excitement filling his voice. "She's so little…" he said in wonder. "Can I touch her? Can I hold her?"
Cordy slowly opened her eyes and frowned at her surrounding. Where was she? The last thing she remembered was falling asleep in Angel's arms as their newborn little girl slept beside the hospital bed in her little crib.
When she opened her eyes, everything around was white. She was lying on a large white bed with white sheets. The walls around her were white, through the windows came a white light, the floor was white…And then here eyes traveled to the other corner of the empty room and that's when she saw them.
Skip and a little boy were looking down into the crib where baby Alessia was sleeping.
"She's so tiny…Is it really her?" the boy asked excitedly.
Cordelia slowly pushed the sheets off of her legs and stood up, wearing a white hospital gown. She couldn't believe what she was seeing. Awe and disbelief swept through her, as well as slight confusion. She carefully walked towards the two figures, silently.
The boy then turned from the crib and saw her. He escaped Skip's gentle hold and stood in front of Cordelia with a wide grin on his face. Cordelia felt her heart stop.
"Six months early…" Skip finally spoke, looking at her lovingly.
Cordelia knew what he was referring to and she smiled back. In this new future, Alessia had been born six months earlier…
"I was never one for patience." She confessed and then looked down at the little boy who was staring at her.
"Are you Cordy?" he asked and Cordelia bent down in front of him, in awe of the little boy.
Cordelia was suddenly speechless as she realized just who this little boy was.
"The one and only." Skip answered him.
"You're pretty." The boy smiled and Cordy laughed softly.
"And you're all grown up…" Cordy whispered in an emotion-filled voice as tears filled her eyes.
"We don't have much time…but the Powers wanted to give you a little congratulatory gift…" Skip spoke softly as Cordy's eyes went back to the little boy.
This was a glimpse of what they soon would have. One day. When? Who knew…but someday.
"Is this her? Is this Alessia?" the boy asked with such excitement in h is voice Cordy couldn't help but giggle.
"Yeah…" she whispered, happily.
"She's so little…" the boy laughed.
"She's going to have big shoes to fill." Skip said as he looked down at the tiny baby.
"No." Cordy informed him, taking a deep breath. "Just her own."
If there was one thing she and Angel had always agreed on, it was that whoever this baby girl turned out to be, they never would try to make her into someone she wasn't. They knew she would not be the girl they'd met years ago. They never tried to recreate the future….they just lived it.
There was a long pause between the two as Cordy looked at the boy's face. He had the same features as his father. She could see Angel's eyes in that little face of his. Then, Connor did something that took Cordelia by surprise. The boy reached out and let his small fingers run across her face. He slowly traced the lines on her forehead and then lingered around her eyebrows as if he was marvelling in the feel of it. The look in his eyes was one of pure innocence, as if touching a stranger's face was something completely ordinary. He continued to travel down her cheek, and then he touched her nose gently…
Cordy let him, unable to take her eyes away from him, holding her breath.
"You look a little like her…" a four-year-old Connor whispered to her as he stilled his hand on her left cheek.
"Who?" Cordy found herself asking.
"My guardian angel…" he grinned.
Cordy felt her heart skip a beat as she looked up to find Skip looking down at them.
"She gave me a message for you…" Connor then spoke.
"What is it?" Cordy tenderly inquired.
Connor quickly wrapped his arms around her neck and place and tiny gentle kiss on her cheek, hugging her like only children know how to do. Cordelia closed her eyes and held the little boy tightly in her arms and then a warmth swept through her and she saw a huge flash of white light sweep through the room.
Cordy opened her eyes and found herself lying down on the hospital bed, with Angel's arm wrapped around her protectively and lovingly. She looked around at the dark room and then at the crib beside the bed where a tiny Alessia slept soundly. She shifted her eyes to a sleepy Angel as he stirred by her side. A smile came across her lips as she realized what had just happened. The PTBs weren't known for nice gestures, but they always seemed to have a soft spot for Alessia. They'd witnessed it that night in the rain.
"Cordy?" he asked, his voice rusty and filled with sleep.
"Shhh…." She said, leaning forward and giving him and soft kiss on the cheek.
"What was that for?" he asked with a sleepy smile.
"That was from a friend…" she smiled in the dark, wrapping her arms around his neck. "And that's from me…" she said as she slowly captured his lips with hers, enjoying the feel of him kissing her back.
A tiny little voice spoke to her from the heart as she nestled in Angel's arms.
[I]"It's what's in the middle that counts…"[/I]
END
They could hear the rain falling on the top of the car as they all sat in silence, exhausted. Wesley and Groo sat in the front while Gunn, Fred and Lorne filled the back seat. The young ex-Pylean girl sat with her head resting on Gunn's shoulder, eyes closed, listening to the rain outside.
"How long has it been?" Gunn asked, his voice tired all of a sudden.
"A little over half an hour." Wesley replied with a deep in-take of air as he rested his head back slowly.
Fred opened her eyes and glanced at Lorne, who was silently looking out the window, probably trying to see Angel and Cordelia through the rain.
"Do you think they're going to be alright?" she asked in a strained, sleepy voice.
"Yeah sweetie…they're going to be alright." Lorne softly spoke, managing a tiny exhausted smile.
"Not exactly the happy ending I was lookin' for." Gunn whispered, leaning against t he cool window, an arm wrapped around Fred's shoulders.
"Oh, I wouldn't be so sure of that…" Lorne answered after a moment.
"What do you mean?" Fred asked, glancing out the window to see what he was looking at.
"Tonight, Princess and Angelcakes let go of the two probably most significant people who will ever come into their lives…but from where I stand, I don't see any pain or sadness." He said, staring at the two figures standing in the rain. "I see relief…peace." He whispered.
"How can we be certain that the future will not turn out to be just as horrible? How can we be certain that life will be better now?" Groo mused, speaking up for the first time in a long time.
"Faith." Wesley answered, as simply as possible.
"Who knows how things will turn out now…Who knows what the future will bring…" Fred sighed, listening to the rain.
"Only time, sweetie…" Lorne whispered, his eyes never leaving Angel and Cordelia's shadows. "Only time…"
--
They had been sitting there, on a bench under a little roof at the bus stop, for what seemed like hours. In silence. Side by side.
Angel looked at her and almost forgot that his heart could not beat. In that instant, he was certain he heard at least one tiny beat inside his chest. Her damp hair and soaking wet clothes made her look like a playful little girl, a teenager. Strands of hair stuck to the side of her face and she didn't seem to care. After a moment, Angel turned his eyes away, looking at the street where ambulances and police cars had previously roamed the place.
"She called me mom…" Cordelia finally let out in a strained whisper, awe filling her every word.
Angel turned to face her once again and their eyes locked. The rain had also had its effect on the vampire's face, Cordy thought. He looked much younger then usual. He looked vulnerable.
"I know…" Angel smiled, hearing Alessia's voice once again in the back of his head.
Cordelia paused, capturing the glimpse of happiness and wonder in his eyes as she looked at his handsome face.
"She called you dad…" she then added, in a bare whisper.
Her voice was almost hesitant, shy. Uncertain. But there was this relief and light on her face as she spoke them. Angel opened his mouth to say something, but he couldn't. The words simply did not come to him, and even though he was not prone to engage in long meaningful conversations, this time, Cordelia could not blame him. Speechlessness seemed very appropriate at the moment.
"Wow…" the word escape Cordy's lips after a long silence and she just looked down in front of her, grabbing the side of the bench gently with both hands.
Angel looked at her, waiting for more of that awe-filled comment.
"I saw her…" she continued, looking up into his eyes, knowing that he understood everything she was implying, all the things she didn't know how to describe. "When she let me look into her…I really saw her…" Cordelia swallowed back her emotions as a small tear of joy rolled down her cheek. "I saw her heart…" she whispered. "I felt…everything, as if I had been there. It wasn't like a vision, it was more like a dream…but the things that I saw…and felt…" she couldn't even express them with words.
She didn't have to. Angel understood it perfectly.
"I know." He replied, tenderly, as he took a deep unnecessary breath. "I've been having some dreams recently too that have felt so very real…" he confessed.
"What kind of dreams?" Cordelia asked, turning to him with the softest expression on her face.
"Uh…well…" he looked a bit embarrassed for a moment, if that's even possible for a vampire. "Just…dreams." He said, trying to hide the glimpse of a smile on his lips.
Cordy raised an eyebrow, smiling nervously, and then felt a little flushed for a moment.
"Oh." She simply said, smiling to herself, feeling a little embarrassed by Angel's confession, but also strangely amused.
The two of them sat there in complete silence for a few more minutes, before Cordy spoke again.
"You were alive…" she said, as if still not believing it, and Angel looked at her. "In her memories…you were alive…you had…" she stopped and then frowned, as if noticing something for the first time. "Facial hair??" she surprised herself by saying it out loud.
"What??" Angel looked at her suspiciously, and she suddenly let out a small chuckle as she remembered one of the images Alessia had let her see.
"You had this…thing…like you hadn't shaved in a couple of days…it looked…Well…" she laughed, remembering it perfectly now.
"From the look on your face, I'll throw a wild guess and say 'Funny'?" Angel said in a quiet voice.
Cordy looked at him with that smile of hers that he loves so much.
"Well, I was going to say handsome, but if you insist." She said throwing her hands in the hair.
The two of them smiled at one another softly and fell silent again. Angel heard Cordelia's rhythmic heart beat in his ear and found it somewhat comforting. After everything they had lived in the past three days – the things they'd seen and learned about the world and about each other – it almost seemed unreal that they would be sitting there feeling this way now. Angel had just let his son go, and Cordelia had watched her daughter disappear, and yet, there wasn't horrible pain, or deep sorrow. He didn't feel like staking himself or taking a walk into the sunlight. He felt…
Good.
It baffled him a little until he realized that Cordelia was feeling the same way. There was this warmth, this relief, peacefulness that overcame them. Faith in the future. Faith in the decisions they had been forced to make.
Suddenly, Angel felt Cordelia's fingers on his forearm and stood still. Her hand slowly traveled on his damp coat and finally found his cold hand. At the feel of her gentle, yet tentative touch, he slowly turned to look at her. She wasn't looking at his face. Her eyes were glued to their entwined hands and she held his gently.
"This thing…" she hesitated, as if looking for the right words. "These feelings…" she whispered, her voice strained and hopeful. "They were there long before Alessia came, weren't they?" she asked him, finally looking into his eyes.
Angel wrapped his fingers around hers and held her hand tightly into his and looked down. He simply nodded in response, finding it hard to capture his own voice at the moment.
"Angel…" Cordelia's voice was soft and sweet in his ears.
"Cordelia, I should have told you as soon as Alessia told me…I know this is probably not what you expected, or wanted…this is…" he quickly rambled on and on.
His words were cut short when Cordelia let go of his hand and grabbed his face tenderly, bringing his face down to hers in one long, emotion-filled kiss. The instant surprise of her gesture quickly wore off and all thoughts of what he had been about to say left him. The kiss seemed to last forever, happening all in slow motion.
When she pulled away, slightly enough to rest her forehead against his, she held her breath, despite the fact that she needed the air. She still cupped his face in her hands and finally took a deep breath, keeping her eyes closed. She felt Angel brush away the dripping wet hair from her face and tuck a few strands behind her ears. The two of them stood like that, speechless, for several seconds, lips inches apart.
"I was wrong you know…" Cordelia finally whispered, sending her warm breath brushing against his face.
"About what?" He softly spoke, holding the side of her face as well now.
"Things don't feel so complicated anymore…" she whispered, opening her eyes to look into his.
Their eyes locked and in that instant, they knew. With one kiss, they had once felt like they were complicating matters even more. This time, it felt so simple. So…right.
Slowly, their lips met again in a slow, deep kiss that grew both in intensity and depth as the seconds flew by. Their lips moved together perfectly, and Cordelia suddenly got a flash of those kisses in Alessia's visions. That love. That sense of belonging. It was there, with every touch and every kiss…she could feel it now.
[I] "You always said it was pouring rain when you realized that you were in love with him…" [/I]
Angel wrapped his arms around her, bringing her closer to him and Cordelia smiled and laughed softly through the kiss, as the sound of the rain all around them echoed into the night…
--
And as it always was, time went by. The events of that night, and Alessia's brief presence in their lives, would surely shape the years to come and the lives of everyone involved. That night, Angel and Cordy came to a silent realization. After that, one would have had to be blind not to see the connection and feelings between the two. Love. At first it felt strange on Cordy's lips. She never thought she would fall in love with a vampire…much less with one named Angel. But as the months went by, loving him became the easiest thing she'd ever done. It came naturally.
Lilah recovered from her gunshot wound, and never pressed charges against Cordelia for firing the gun. It probably would have made things too easy, not satisfying enough. But after many trials and errors, Wolfram and Hart became a mere threat to Angel Investigations.
And as it appears, Alessia had been right. A year later, Angel's soul was anchored permanently. And as the years went by, Angel and Cordy often saw glimpses of the future Alessia had known and described. Some good things, some bad ones. Faith's released from prison did not equal the end of her redemption, but slowly, she regained the trust of the people around her. And slowly, but surely, lives changed, became entwined, got pushed apart and then back together…the ups and downs of life, really. And somewhere along the line, friendships were reaffirmed, some grew deeper, love stories began and ended, some lasted…
Life went on. A new life. A new future.
[b]2006[/b]
"You!" Cordelia gritted through her teeth, her voice low, strained, and filled with pain.
Sweat rolled down her forehead and around her intense frown as she repeated her accusatory 'you' one more time. She clenched her jaw and closed her eyes, noises and voices slowly coming into earshot around her.
"You…" said again, this time letting her head fall back on the bed with a huge thump. "This is all your fault!" she said through her teeth, breathing heavily.
Angel gathered her into his arms but she pushed him away, obviously in pain and not knowing how to position herself anymore. Angel looked like a lost boy by her side, not knowing when or where to touch her, or when to speak.
"Alright, Cordelia…you're doing great…" Willow's voice was heard from the edge of the bed.
By her side stood two very horrified, twisted faces: Faith and Buffy. The two slayers seemed to flinch every time Cordelia did. Who would have thought giving birth would frighten the two probably most powerful slayers Cordy had ever met. Granted, they were the only two slayers she knew, but still…Willow, now a doctor, had rushed to Cordelia's apartment as soon as Cordelia had begun to have her contractions.
"Why didn't we go to a hospital?!" Faith let out, hurting for the woman lying on the bed before them.
"They tend to specialize in full 100% human babies…we never know, with Cordy being part-demon and all, what this baby will…" Willow started, looking up from her task.
"Willow!!" Angel and Cordy yelled at once and glared at her.
"Right. Perfectly human-looking it will be!" Willow corrected herself with an embarrassed grin.
Buffy and Faith had been looking in amusement for the last half hour at Angel and Cordelia's behaviors. Cordy had pushed Angel's tentatively comforting hands away from her several times. One second she was clinging to him and the other she was ordering him to stay silent and to not touch her. Both, Buffy and Faith, had to repress a smile at the baffled and concerned look on Angel's face.
"Don't.!"
"Cordy…"
"Don't…don't talk…don't say word…"
"But…"
"It's getting on my nerves…Angel…don't say a word!"
"What, they can talk to you but I can't?"
"Yes!!"
"Cordy…"
"That's a word!" she said through her teeth as she let her head fall back on the pillow with exhaustion and pain.
"But…"
"Another one!"
"Cor…"
A loud groan escaped her throat and Angel fell silent instantly, while Buffy and Faith burst out laughing on the other side of the bed.
"Hormones." Buffy simply told him, trying to reassure him.
"Next time, you get to carry it for nine months…" Cordy then said, breathing heavily and Angel nodded.
"Okay." He agreed instantly.
What was he? Stupid? Like he was going to argue with her [I]now![/I]
"You go through all the pain."
"Of course."
"You give birth to him or her!"
"Whatever you want." He nodded again, agreeing to every single word she was saying in her delirium.
"Why don't they make drugs for part-demons, huh?!" she then gritted and Angel squeezed her hand and swallowed back as he stood by her side.
Buffy, Willow and Faith exchanged an amused and envious glance as they watched and listened to the couple. One second they were arguing and the next they were whispering sweet nothings to one another. It brought a smile to the three women looking on.
Cordelia felt another contraction and grabbed the side of the bed, trying to hold back the painful groan inside her throat. Angel grabbed one of her hands, wiping the sweat away from her face, trying to say comforting things to her even through his awkwardness and nervousness.
"This is all your fault!" she said again, pointedly looking at him with an accusatory glare.
"That's right! Go Woman!" Faith exclaimed and Buffy elbowed her quickly. "What? I'm encouraging her…we're the pep-squad team…isn't that what we're here for?" she looked at Buffy as innocently as Faith possibly could.
"My fault?" Angel defended himself, still grabbing her hand. "May I remind you that you were quite active in this…in fact, you were…" he said with wide eyes.
"Okay!" Willow exclaimed suddenly. "Do we really need to hear this?" she asked.
Cordelia lifted her head and looked at Willow with a raised eyebrow.
"You've got both hands in placenta at the moment, are you [I]really[/I] going to start getting prudish on me [I]now???[/I]" Cordy breathed out.
"Right." Willow responded. "Point taken. Please feel free to continue." She pointed towards Angel, who suddenly felt embarrassed.
"You were up to the part about the juicy details of your hot and passionate sex lives..." Faith said when he didn't speak.
Buffy glared at her as if she was a child who had done something terribly wrong. Faith shrugged, bummed she didn't get her juicy details, but didn't have the time to respond. Cordelia painful scream alerted them all.
"Alright, Cordelia…I'm going to need you to push now…" Willow informed her. "You can do it…you're doing great…just a few more pushes…" she repeated.
"I'm pushing!" an irritated Cordy said through her teeth.
Cordy was obviously in pain and Angel wrapped his arms around her, holding her and grabbing her hand with his. He looked into her eyes and saw the sweat and the tears and the love and the fear…
He looked at a loss for a moment there, looking at her silently.
"Can I speak now?" he asked, his voice sounding like that of a child.
"Yes…" Cordy whispered, clinging to his hand.
Angel placed a long, loving kiss on her forehead, whispering to her, as the voices around them became a bit blurry. Cordelia heard Willow guide her through the very difficult delivery, with Angel right by her side through it all.
Outside, waiting impatiently, were the rest of the Scoobies and Fang Gang, as well as Cordelia's parents, whom Cordy was still estranged with, but both sides were making efforts. It was a beginning.
Hours later.
The small cries of a baby were heard in the room, while Cordelia almost limply fell back into Angel's arms, completely drained of strength and energy. Alessia had warned her the delivery was going to be tough, but this definitely had been worse than what she'd anticipated. She tried to catch her breath as Angel stroke her wet, sweaty hair with both hands, placing gentle kisses on her cheek.
"You did it…" Willow let out, emotionally drained as well. "Wow…" she whispered, looking down at her arms.
Cordy found the energy to lift her head as tears welled up in her eyes.
"Is it a boy or a girl?" she asked, expectantly.
"Whoa…nice tail…" Willow said her eyes growing wide.
Cordy and Angel jerked up with a loud: "What?!" and Willow burst out laughing. At the look on Angel's face, she realized the joke may have been too much.
"Where's the humor…" she smiled and then looked up to see Cordelia's exhausted face.
Willow carefully placed the baby in Cordelia's arms.
"You have a beautiful little girl…" Willow said, stepping back and joining Buffy and Faith near the door as they all watched the scene before them.
Angel felt his heart stop and held his breath as he looked down at the precious child in Cordelia's arms. Cordy's trembling hands wrapped around the tiny baby and a tear rolled down her face. She felt Angel's lips on her forehead as he held her in his arms.
A baby girl.
Their baby girl.
--
Hours later…
Cordelia was woken by the sound of a small, child-like voice filling her ears.
"Is that her?" she heard the voice of a little boy whisper. "Is it?" he repeated, excitement filling his voice. "She's so little…" he said in wonder. "Can I touch her? Can I hold her?"
Cordy slowly opened her eyes and frowned at her surrounding. Where was she? The last thing she remembered was falling asleep in Angel's arms as their newborn little girl slept beside the hospital bed in her little crib.
When she opened her eyes, everything around was white. She was lying on a large white bed with white sheets. The walls around her were white, through the windows came a white light, the floor was white…And then here eyes traveled to the other corner of the empty room and that's when she saw them.
Skip and a little boy were looking down into the crib where baby Alessia was sleeping.
"She's so tiny…Is it really her?" the boy asked excitedly.
Cordelia slowly pushed the sheets off of her legs and stood up, wearing a white hospital gown. She couldn't believe what she was seeing. Awe and disbelief swept through her, as well as slight confusion. She carefully walked towards the two figures, silently.
The boy then turned from the crib and saw her. He escaped Skip's gentle hold and stood in front of Cordelia with a wide grin on his face. Cordelia felt her heart stop.
"Six months early…" Skip finally spoke, looking at her lovingly.
Cordelia knew what he was referring to and she smiled back. In this new future, Alessia had been born six months earlier…
"I was never one for patience." She confessed and then looked down at the little boy who was staring at her.
"Are you Cordy?" he asked and Cordelia bent down in front of him, in awe of the little boy.
Cordelia was suddenly speechless as she realized just who this little boy was.
"The one and only." Skip answered him.
"You're pretty." The boy smiled and Cordy laughed softly.
"And you're all grown up…" Cordy whispered in an emotion-filled voice as tears filled her eyes.
"We don't have much time…but the Powers wanted to give you a little congratulatory gift…" Skip spoke softly as Cordy's eyes went back to the little boy.
This was a glimpse of what they soon would have. One day. When? Who knew…but someday.
"Is this her? Is this Alessia?" the boy asked with such excitement in h is voice Cordy couldn't help but giggle.
"Yeah…" she whispered, happily.
"She's so little…" the boy laughed.
"She's going to have big shoes to fill." Skip said as he looked down at the tiny baby.
"No." Cordy informed him, taking a deep breath. "Just her own."
If there was one thing she and Angel had always agreed on, it was that whoever this baby girl turned out to be, they never would try to make her into someone she wasn't. They knew she would not be the girl they'd met years ago. They never tried to recreate the future….they just lived it.
There was a long pause between the two as Cordy looked at the boy's face. He had the same features as his father. She could see Angel's eyes in that little face of his. Then, Connor did something that took Cordelia by surprise. The boy reached out and let his small fingers run across her face. He slowly traced the lines on her forehead and then lingered around her eyebrows as if he was marvelling in the feel of it. The look in his eyes was one of pure innocence, as if touching a stranger's face was something completely ordinary. He continued to travel down her cheek, and then he touched her nose gently…
Cordy let him, unable to take her eyes away from him, holding her breath.
"You look a little like her…" a four-year-old Connor whispered to her as he stilled his hand on her left cheek.
"Who?" Cordy found herself asking.
"My guardian angel…" he grinned.
Cordy felt her heart skip a beat as she looked up to find Skip looking down at them.
"She gave me a message for you…" Connor then spoke.
"What is it?" Cordy tenderly inquired.
Connor quickly wrapped his arms around her neck and place and tiny gentle kiss on her cheek, hugging her like only children know how to do. Cordelia closed her eyes and held the little boy tightly in her arms and then a warmth swept through her and she saw a huge flash of white light sweep through the room.
Cordy opened her eyes and found herself lying down on the hospital bed, with Angel's arm wrapped around her protectively and lovingly. She looked around at the dark room and then at the crib beside the bed where a tiny Alessia slept soundly. She shifted her eyes to a sleepy Angel as he stirred by her side. A smile came across her lips as she realized what had just happened. The PTBs weren't known for nice gestures, but they always seemed to have a soft spot for Alessia. They'd witnessed it that night in the rain.
"Cordy?" he asked, his voice rusty and filled with sleep.
"Shhh…." She said, leaning forward and giving him and soft kiss on the cheek.
"What was that for?" he asked with a sleepy smile.
"That was from a friend…" she smiled in the dark, wrapping her arms around his neck. "And that's from me…" she said as she slowly captured his lips with hers, enjoying the feel of him kissing her back.
A tiny little voice spoke to her from the heart as she nestled in Angel's arms.
[I]"It's what's in the middle that counts…"[/I]
END