Okay first thanks for the reviews. Second I apologize in advance because this chapter is sad, in my opinion the saddest I have ever written. But it is sad fluff. This is also the longest chapter I have ever written. It's not incredibly long, but I usually write short chapters, this is over three times the length of my average chapter. I think it is one of my better ones though but you guys will have to be the judge for me. Well here it is I hope you enjoy it.
Chapter 8: Pain
"Krit do you mind if we stop by your place before going home? You can stay here or I can drop you off somewhere else first while I go, I just want to pick some stuff up for Issy." Max was in the Aztec driving away from the cemetery with Krit in the passenger seat.
"No I think it's time I go back there anyway Maxie." He didn't look to sure of himself at all as he spoke.
"You sure?" She didn't want him to suffer any more pain then he was already in.
"Yeah pretty sure. I can at least give it a shot right?"
"Ok. If you want to go at any time just let me know ok?" She was trying to be reassuring, and trying to protect him.
"Thanks Maxie." They had just pulled up in front of Krit and Syl's apartment. Max saw the look of fear on Krit's face as they started to walk in the house. So she took his hand and kept an eye on him as they walked in. Krit's first reaction was happiness actually. This past month he had been so lost. And now it was like it was before he was coming home. This place was familiar and comforting to him. He looked around at this place he knew so well for so long. All of the things that were part of his life. All around there were little things that he had loved and missed these past two weeks. The big tacky horribly ugly chair that he loved, and couldn't seem to part with. His old helmet from when he first started riding motorcycles at thirteen, that obviously no longer fit but he had saved it the past thirteen years. His leather jacket. Then his gaze fell upon the far wall. Their was a bunch of pictures with one in the center. It had a gorgeous silver frame that he had spent a great deal of money on. Krit and Syl were standing there together. She wore a simple shimmery white skirt and a white blouse. He was wearing a nice black pants and a green dress shirt. It was their wedding picture. And suddenly he realized. The one thing that made this place home was no longer here. Now this place was hell. Nothing more then a painful reminder of what he had lost what had been taken away from him so suddenly. That one day that had changed his life so completely, he hadn't known before that day that it was even possible for the worst and best day of your life to be the same day. Memories started to flood his mind of every moment he had spent with her. Every touch every word every kiss every smile. Then the moment the doctor she started to seize. And the doctor informed them that having Isobel had messed up her seretonin levels. And there was nothing they could do to help. Then the moments in which she said goodbye to Isobel, and then to him, and their last kiss. Then as she lost conscious. And finally as he held her hand when she stopped breathing, and her heart failed to keep it's rhythmic beat. And then his first moment when he was alone. "Max I...I can't do this... outside...want...be alone now." He managed to say between ragged breaths as he backed out of the apartment and closed the door. Max was worried, but she understood. And she knew better then going out to check on him. So she silently and quickly gathered things for Isobel. She got to the TV and noticed that they had some tapes, including home video's. She didn't have time to search through them for what had Syl in it so she just grabbed all five and put them in the bag with the other things she had collected. She then went outside and walked to the Aztec. Krit had taken it up to meet her she had taken her baby, which they had put in the back when he met up with her. She didn't see Krit siting in it like she had expected. She walked over thinking she would drop off the bag then look for him, he wouldn't have gone to far. When she got next to the door in back she saw him. He was in the back seat laying down huddled up in the fetal position. He was rocking back and forth slightly. Max opened the door slowly put the bag down and kneeled down between the front seats. She leaned down close to Krit putting one arm around him and stroking down his arm with the other trying to comfort him. She wasn't worried when he didn't respond right away. She started to whisper small words of comfort that she was here and would take care of him and that she was his sister and would always be there. And that she loved him. When he didn't respond to that last comment she did get worried. His pulse was slow too slow. She was panicking so she did the only thing she could think of called Logan.
"Logan?"
"Hey honey."
"Something's wrong with Krit, we went to his place and he left I got back to the car and he is all curled up and his pulse is slow and it's like he isn't even really here, he's not responding to me at all. Logan help me please." Max said every thing in one quick panicked breath.
"Max calm down it will be okay in promise. Can you tell, is he in shock?" He was panicking too on the inside. But he was staying clam and strong for them on the outside.
"No I'm pretty sure that isn't it." Max said she had seen shock this wasn't it.
"Okay just get him home as soon as you can we will figure out what is wrong with him okay."
"Okay Logan thanks, I love you." She was still speaking quickly but sounded slightly better. For a normal person the trip would have taken about an hour Max made it there in 35 minuets. She came barging through the door almost completely carrying Krit. She didn't want the kids to see him like this. "Logan I'm home where are the kids!?"
"With Mrs. Moreno upstairs I didn't think they should be here." He said walking into the living room to meet Max.
"Good they shouldn't be here now." Max and Logan hurried and brought him into his room and laid him on the bed. "Logan what's wrong with him?"
"I don't know sweetheart. He doesn't seem to be in any real danger now but if we do need to we can always call Sam or another doctor I know a few who could probably help and would keep quiet." Logan had bent over Krit and was now looking him over, he took his pule and looked in his eyes and felt for a temperature. He didn't know that much about medicine, but he did know some signs of real danger.
"His breathing is fine. His pulse rate is still a little slow, but better then before. He definitely isn't in shock, but I don't think it's a physical thing at all." Max spoke up. She knew some about medicine, but most of it was what she read up on with genetics and the virus; that pulse her field med classes back at manticore. With this she was sort of lost. "He wasn't doing well in the apartment. I thought he would be ok once he got out of there. But when I got to the car he was like this. I thought he was just kinda out of it you know spacing so he didn't have to deal, or couldn't deal. I tried to comfort him get him to respond to me, but it didn't work. Not even when I said that he was my big brother and I loved him." She looked over at Logan when she was done talking. She could see that he was listening to her, but also the wheels in his head were spinning.
"What if you were right and he is just out of it cause he can't deal Like shell shock with soldiers. What would bring him back, there has to be something." Logan was trying to think. He and Max had become close these past weeks, if she couldn't reach him, he couldn't imagine anything that could. Max could though.
"Logan wait here watch him I will be back in a minute." Max said while running out of the room then out of the apartment. She was back in record time with Isobel in her arms. As she walked into the room she started to speak to Krit. "Hey Krit. Look who's here it's Isobel, she has been without her father all day. She misses you Krit and she needs you. She needs you to love of her now, to take care of her." As Max said this she had held Isobel in front of his face. Still nothing. But when she lowered that baby onto his chest his arm reached up instantly and held her. Max was happy this was a good sign. It was there only sign so far. But he didn't look down, he didn't talk nothing changed except for the fact that he was holding her. And somehow Isobel knew something was wrong. It was probably just the fact that she wasn't being held the way she liked, the way Krit normally held her. But whatever it was it made her cry. In that instant hearing his daughter crying Krit seemed to just instantly be back in their reality as if nothing had happened. He sat up slightly looking down at the infant in his arms. He held her closer and started to bounce her slightly and swayed back and forth.
"Shhhh Isobel it's ok, it's ok. I love you baby girl. I was somewhere else, but you brought me back. Everything was so muddled and fuzzy, but I could hear you, and I followed you back. I love you, and I promise that won't ever go away again ok." He spoke softly to her with tears in his eyes. Max wanted to run over and hug him. She had lost her siblings every time they ever got close, and she was so afraid that she was about to lose him then. Now all she felt was complete and utter joy that he wasn't leaving her. She wanted to go and hug her brother and never let him go. But she knew she shouldn't, he needed to be with his daughter now, alone with his daughter. So she took Logan's hand and led him out of the room.
"You want me to go get Xavier?" He asked turning to Max. She shook her head. She placed her hands on either side of his face and pulled him in for a kiss.
"Logan, what Krit is going through, I couldn't do it. I can't lose you. I need to know that you aren't going to go anywhere, that you aren't going to leave me. Promise me that you will never leave me."
"I promise love I will never ever leave you." He said reassuringly and kissed her shoulder softly then her lips.
"Tell me you love me." By her tone, it was obvious that she knew it to be true. She wasn't doubting that he loved her. She just needed to hear it right now.
"I love you Max." He said with such a gentle force, knowing that she knew it to be true, but needing her to hear how much he meant it in his voice.
"I need to talk to you, tell you some things, after will you still love me?" This was where there was that small bit of doubt in her voice.
"Max you know there is nothing you could say or do that would ever make me love you any less, Nothing." Max took his hand and led him to their bedroom. She sat him on the edge of the bed sitting down nest to him leaning on his shoulder.
"I need to tell you some things that I never shared with you before." He just nodded his head slightly. "They are some bad things Logan, bad things that I have done, not all at manticore." She paused for a minute took a deep breath then headed right into it. "You told me once that Lydecker gave you those pictures you know what we did to that man. Ben was doing that again and again. And I had to stop him. We were fighting I broke his leg, then we heard them." Her eyes started to get water, but she held back the tears for now. "We heard the helicopters. I didn't want him to go back there, I didn't want to even think of what they would do to him. So I snapped his neck. He wanted me to take him with me, but we both would have been caught. So I held him, and had him tell me about the high place. I was holding him in my arms listening to him speak about it with such a peace and such hope in his voice. Then I twisted his head, snapping his neck. I sacrificed my brother to save my life. Then I cried for what I had done and what I had lost, but only for a second. Then I left. I let those monsters have his body. I never told you not because I couldn't tell you, but I couldn't tell myself. I couldn't say it out loud, because then it would really be true I couldn't deny it then." The tears were falling slowly now. "I never told you I was pregnant once before, when I was 15 I went into heat and I messed up and got pregnant. I was going to have the baby, I didn't really want it, but I was going to have it. But I miscarried at about 10 weeks. I was devastated, my child was dead." She was crying harder now, and let Logan hold her. She wouldn't let him wipe the tears away though. These things she had done, tears needed to be shed over them. "But part of me was relieved, maybe even glad, because I didn't want it in the first place. I was glad my child had died. And when I let manticore burn, I wasn't thinking about the consequences. Honestly I wasn't even thinking about wanting to give them freedom. I was thinking about myself. I wanted to keep you alive, but I wanted to be with you too. I didn't care what happened to them really. And all of the problems they have caused they are all my fault, because I was being selfish. And I had the urge to give up the chance of us and go be with Zack. You won by a landslide, but I had the urge to just give you up and be with my big brother. And I didn't remember our anniversary when I gave you the rings, I saw your gift with the note and then remembered and got them that day. I never really lied, but I misled you. And when we first started to deal with the virus, I almost went out with Rafer I couldn't in the end, I loved you, but I was attracted to him. And I never answered your question, when you asked if it was easier for me when you were in the chair. It was then. I wanted you to be able to walk because you wanted to so badly. But part of me was glad you were stuck in that chair, no matter how badly it hurt you. Because it was easier for me, I was scared and it was dumb. And I hate it, but part of me felt that way. And I let this rat bastard beet my foster sister and...hurt her in other ways, because I didn't want to draw attention to myself. And I let them take Brin and destroy her. And I wanted to kill Lydecker. Even after all he did to help us in the end. Still I would see him keeping us chained under water as kids to test us, and I would get this urge to snap his neck. And when I first realized I loved you part of me felt terrible. I felt like I had failed. I never wanted to fall in love with you. When we first met if I thought I would have fallen in love, I wouldn't have come back. I could have saved you in the first place but I didn't. I wasn't there when you needed me, because I was dumb and self centered. And I might have stayed away when I left with Zack. I knew I loved you, but if you weren't hurt I might have left anyway. And when I found out about Syl part of me was just glad that it didn't happen to me. Same thing with Tinga and Eva and Zack and Ben. Part of me was glad because it was them and not me. Also before I actually got pregnant I didn't want to get pregnant. And I never told any of my siblings besides Krit that I love them. Now with a lot of them it is too late. And I didn't see it when you almost killed yourself that time. I didn't see that you were in so much pain. I was to worried about my life at the time that I couldn't see the pain you were in, and it was almost too late." Max had been going on for so long just letting everything she had kept bottled up for so long come pouring out. "And I'm scared that every one I love gets hurt as punishment for me. For all the evil I have done. I stay alive just to see everyone who I love suffer and die, and I am scared it will happen to you or Xavier some day. Even if not to punish me I am scared I will lose you. You will be taken away because I don't deserve to be with you, and I don't deserve the joy of being a mother." As she said that last sentence and the thought of loosing Logan or Xavier ran through her mind something in her broke. She just cried, she didn't do anything but cry.
"Max everything you just said doesn't make you evil. It makes you human. Most of those things weren't your fault. For what was, they weren't bad things. Everyone has these thoughts and everyone does things wrong. The fact that you care so much about all of these things, and the fact that you can share them with me. But mostly the fact that every second of everyday, no mater what bad thoughts you might have, you have good thoughts too. And you obey the good ones. That makes you a wonderful person. You have always tried to do the thing that is right. You have done more good then anyone I have ever met. And you have by far the most beautiful, and pure soul I have ever known. All of what you just said just makes me love you more Max. And you deserve to be happy, don't ever doubt that. And you can never ever lose me Max, I wont allow it to happen, I love you too much." He was looking deep into her eyes trying to convey the fact that he wasn't just saying this to make her feel better, but that it was the truth.
"Logan can you hold me?" Max said this as she laid down on the bed.
"Always." Was his soft response. And that is what he did he laid down with her and held her tight murmuring words of love until she fell to sleep.
End chapter 8
Okay let me know what you think. I live for reviews. Also I know how I want this story to end, and will either wrap it up in the next chapter, or if you would like continue writing a bunch more chapters before I end it. You have to let me know though if you don't I will just end it with the next chapter.
Chapter 8: Pain
"Krit do you mind if we stop by your place before going home? You can stay here or I can drop you off somewhere else first while I go, I just want to pick some stuff up for Issy." Max was in the Aztec driving away from the cemetery with Krit in the passenger seat.
"No I think it's time I go back there anyway Maxie." He didn't look to sure of himself at all as he spoke.
"You sure?" She didn't want him to suffer any more pain then he was already in.
"Yeah pretty sure. I can at least give it a shot right?"
"Ok. If you want to go at any time just let me know ok?" She was trying to be reassuring, and trying to protect him.
"Thanks Maxie." They had just pulled up in front of Krit and Syl's apartment. Max saw the look of fear on Krit's face as they started to walk in the house. So she took his hand and kept an eye on him as they walked in. Krit's first reaction was happiness actually. This past month he had been so lost. And now it was like it was before he was coming home. This place was familiar and comforting to him. He looked around at this place he knew so well for so long. All of the things that were part of his life. All around there were little things that he had loved and missed these past two weeks. The big tacky horribly ugly chair that he loved, and couldn't seem to part with. His old helmet from when he first started riding motorcycles at thirteen, that obviously no longer fit but he had saved it the past thirteen years. His leather jacket. Then his gaze fell upon the far wall. Their was a bunch of pictures with one in the center. It had a gorgeous silver frame that he had spent a great deal of money on. Krit and Syl were standing there together. She wore a simple shimmery white skirt and a white blouse. He was wearing a nice black pants and a green dress shirt. It was their wedding picture. And suddenly he realized. The one thing that made this place home was no longer here. Now this place was hell. Nothing more then a painful reminder of what he had lost what had been taken away from him so suddenly. That one day that had changed his life so completely, he hadn't known before that day that it was even possible for the worst and best day of your life to be the same day. Memories started to flood his mind of every moment he had spent with her. Every touch every word every kiss every smile. Then the moment the doctor she started to seize. And the doctor informed them that having Isobel had messed up her seretonin levels. And there was nothing they could do to help. Then the moments in which she said goodbye to Isobel, and then to him, and their last kiss. Then as she lost conscious. And finally as he held her hand when she stopped breathing, and her heart failed to keep it's rhythmic beat. And then his first moment when he was alone. "Max I...I can't do this... outside...want...be alone now." He managed to say between ragged breaths as he backed out of the apartment and closed the door. Max was worried, but she understood. And she knew better then going out to check on him. So she silently and quickly gathered things for Isobel. She got to the TV and noticed that they had some tapes, including home video's. She didn't have time to search through them for what had Syl in it so she just grabbed all five and put them in the bag with the other things she had collected. She then went outside and walked to the Aztec. Krit had taken it up to meet her she had taken her baby, which they had put in the back when he met up with her. She didn't see Krit siting in it like she had expected. She walked over thinking she would drop off the bag then look for him, he wouldn't have gone to far. When she got next to the door in back she saw him. He was in the back seat laying down huddled up in the fetal position. He was rocking back and forth slightly. Max opened the door slowly put the bag down and kneeled down between the front seats. She leaned down close to Krit putting one arm around him and stroking down his arm with the other trying to comfort him. She wasn't worried when he didn't respond right away. She started to whisper small words of comfort that she was here and would take care of him and that she was his sister and would always be there. And that she loved him. When he didn't respond to that last comment she did get worried. His pulse was slow too slow. She was panicking so she did the only thing she could think of called Logan.
"Logan?"
"Hey honey."
"Something's wrong with Krit, we went to his place and he left I got back to the car and he is all curled up and his pulse is slow and it's like he isn't even really here, he's not responding to me at all. Logan help me please." Max said every thing in one quick panicked breath.
"Max calm down it will be okay in promise. Can you tell, is he in shock?" He was panicking too on the inside. But he was staying clam and strong for them on the outside.
"No I'm pretty sure that isn't it." Max said she had seen shock this wasn't it.
"Okay just get him home as soon as you can we will figure out what is wrong with him okay."
"Okay Logan thanks, I love you." She was still speaking quickly but sounded slightly better. For a normal person the trip would have taken about an hour Max made it there in 35 minuets. She came barging through the door almost completely carrying Krit. She didn't want the kids to see him like this. "Logan I'm home where are the kids!?"
"With Mrs. Moreno upstairs I didn't think they should be here." He said walking into the living room to meet Max.
"Good they shouldn't be here now." Max and Logan hurried and brought him into his room and laid him on the bed. "Logan what's wrong with him?"
"I don't know sweetheart. He doesn't seem to be in any real danger now but if we do need to we can always call Sam or another doctor I know a few who could probably help and would keep quiet." Logan had bent over Krit and was now looking him over, he took his pule and looked in his eyes and felt for a temperature. He didn't know that much about medicine, but he did know some signs of real danger.
"His breathing is fine. His pulse rate is still a little slow, but better then before. He definitely isn't in shock, but I don't think it's a physical thing at all." Max spoke up. She knew some about medicine, but most of it was what she read up on with genetics and the virus; that pulse her field med classes back at manticore. With this she was sort of lost. "He wasn't doing well in the apartment. I thought he would be ok once he got out of there. But when I got to the car he was like this. I thought he was just kinda out of it you know spacing so he didn't have to deal, or couldn't deal. I tried to comfort him get him to respond to me, but it didn't work. Not even when I said that he was my big brother and I loved him." She looked over at Logan when she was done talking. She could see that he was listening to her, but also the wheels in his head were spinning.
"What if you were right and he is just out of it cause he can't deal Like shell shock with soldiers. What would bring him back, there has to be something." Logan was trying to think. He and Max had become close these past weeks, if she couldn't reach him, he couldn't imagine anything that could. Max could though.
"Logan wait here watch him I will be back in a minute." Max said while running out of the room then out of the apartment. She was back in record time with Isobel in her arms. As she walked into the room she started to speak to Krit. "Hey Krit. Look who's here it's Isobel, she has been without her father all day. She misses you Krit and she needs you. She needs you to love of her now, to take care of her." As Max said this she had held Isobel in front of his face. Still nothing. But when she lowered that baby onto his chest his arm reached up instantly and held her. Max was happy this was a good sign. It was there only sign so far. But he didn't look down, he didn't talk nothing changed except for the fact that he was holding her. And somehow Isobel knew something was wrong. It was probably just the fact that she wasn't being held the way she liked, the way Krit normally held her. But whatever it was it made her cry. In that instant hearing his daughter crying Krit seemed to just instantly be back in their reality as if nothing had happened. He sat up slightly looking down at the infant in his arms. He held her closer and started to bounce her slightly and swayed back and forth.
"Shhhh Isobel it's ok, it's ok. I love you baby girl. I was somewhere else, but you brought me back. Everything was so muddled and fuzzy, but I could hear you, and I followed you back. I love you, and I promise that won't ever go away again ok." He spoke softly to her with tears in his eyes. Max wanted to run over and hug him. She had lost her siblings every time they ever got close, and she was so afraid that she was about to lose him then. Now all she felt was complete and utter joy that he wasn't leaving her. She wanted to go and hug her brother and never let him go. But she knew she shouldn't, he needed to be with his daughter now, alone with his daughter. So she took Logan's hand and led him out of the room.
"You want me to go get Xavier?" He asked turning to Max. She shook her head. She placed her hands on either side of his face and pulled him in for a kiss.
"Logan, what Krit is going through, I couldn't do it. I can't lose you. I need to know that you aren't going to go anywhere, that you aren't going to leave me. Promise me that you will never leave me."
"I promise love I will never ever leave you." He said reassuringly and kissed her shoulder softly then her lips.
"Tell me you love me." By her tone, it was obvious that she knew it to be true. She wasn't doubting that he loved her. She just needed to hear it right now.
"I love you Max." He said with such a gentle force, knowing that she knew it to be true, but needing her to hear how much he meant it in his voice.
"I need to talk to you, tell you some things, after will you still love me?" This was where there was that small bit of doubt in her voice.
"Max you know there is nothing you could say or do that would ever make me love you any less, Nothing." Max took his hand and led him to their bedroom. She sat him on the edge of the bed sitting down nest to him leaning on his shoulder.
"I need to tell you some things that I never shared with you before." He just nodded his head slightly. "They are some bad things Logan, bad things that I have done, not all at manticore." She paused for a minute took a deep breath then headed right into it. "You told me once that Lydecker gave you those pictures you know what we did to that man. Ben was doing that again and again. And I had to stop him. We were fighting I broke his leg, then we heard them." Her eyes started to get water, but she held back the tears for now. "We heard the helicopters. I didn't want him to go back there, I didn't want to even think of what they would do to him. So I snapped his neck. He wanted me to take him with me, but we both would have been caught. So I held him, and had him tell me about the high place. I was holding him in my arms listening to him speak about it with such a peace and such hope in his voice. Then I twisted his head, snapping his neck. I sacrificed my brother to save my life. Then I cried for what I had done and what I had lost, but only for a second. Then I left. I let those monsters have his body. I never told you not because I couldn't tell you, but I couldn't tell myself. I couldn't say it out loud, because then it would really be true I couldn't deny it then." The tears were falling slowly now. "I never told you I was pregnant once before, when I was 15 I went into heat and I messed up and got pregnant. I was going to have the baby, I didn't really want it, but I was going to have it. But I miscarried at about 10 weeks. I was devastated, my child was dead." She was crying harder now, and let Logan hold her. She wouldn't let him wipe the tears away though. These things she had done, tears needed to be shed over them. "But part of me was relieved, maybe even glad, because I didn't want it in the first place. I was glad my child had died. And when I let manticore burn, I wasn't thinking about the consequences. Honestly I wasn't even thinking about wanting to give them freedom. I was thinking about myself. I wanted to keep you alive, but I wanted to be with you too. I didn't care what happened to them really. And all of the problems they have caused they are all my fault, because I was being selfish. And I had the urge to give up the chance of us and go be with Zack. You won by a landslide, but I had the urge to just give you up and be with my big brother. And I didn't remember our anniversary when I gave you the rings, I saw your gift with the note and then remembered and got them that day. I never really lied, but I misled you. And when we first started to deal with the virus, I almost went out with Rafer I couldn't in the end, I loved you, but I was attracted to him. And I never answered your question, when you asked if it was easier for me when you were in the chair. It was then. I wanted you to be able to walk because you wanted to so badly. But part of me was glad you were stuck in that chair, no matter how badly it hurt you. Because it was easier for me, I was scared and it was dumb. And I hate it, but part of me felt that way. And I let this rat bastard beet my foster sister and...hurt her in other ways, because I didn't want to draw attention to myself. And I let them take Brin and destroy her. And I wanted to kill Lydecker. Even after all he did to help us in the end. Still I would see him keeping us chained under water as kids to test us, and I would get this urge to snap his neck. And when I first realized I loved you part of me felt terrible. I felt like I had failed. I never wanted to fall in love with you. When we first met if I thought I would have fallen in love, I wouldn't have come back. I could have saved you in the first place but I didn't. I wasn't there when you needed me, because I was dumb and self centered. And I might have stayed away when I left with Zack. I knew I loved you, but if you weren't hurt I might have left anyway. And when I found out about Syl part of me was just glad that it didn't happen to me. Same thing with Tinga and Eva and Zack and Ben. Part of me was glad because it was them and not me. Also before I actually got pregnant I didn't want to get pregnant. And I never told any of my siblings besides Krit that I love them. Now with a lot of them it is too late. And I didn't see it when you almost killed yourself that time. I didn't see that you were in so much pain. I was to worried about my life at the time that I couldn't see the pain you were in, and it was almost too late." Max had been going on for so long just letting everything she had kept bottled up for so long come pouring out. "And I'm scared that every one I love gets hurt as punishment for me. For all the evil I have done. I stay alive just to see everyone who I love suffer and die, and I am scared it will happen to you or Xavier some day. Even if not to punish me I am scared I will lose you. You will be taken away because I don't deserve to be with you, and I don't deserve the joy of being a mother." As she said that last sentence and the thought of loosing Logan or Xavier ran through her mind something in her broke. She just cried, she didn't do anything but cry.
"Max everything you just said doesn't make you evil. It makes you human. Most of those things weren't your fault. For what was, they weren't bad things. Everyone has these thoughts and everyone does things wrong. The fact that you care so much about all of these things, and the fact that you can share them with me. But mostly the fact that every second of everyday, no mater what bad thoughts you might have, you have good thoughts too. And you obey the good ones. That makes you a wonderful person. You have always tried to do the thing that is right. You have done more good then anyone I have ever met. And you have by far the most beautiful, and pure soul I have ever known. All of what you just said just makes me love you more Max. And you deserve to be happy, don't ever doubt that. And you can never ever lose me Max, I wont allow it to happen, I love you too much." He was looking deep into her eyes trying to convey the fact that he wasn't just saying this to make her feel better, but that it was the truth.
"Logan can you hold me?" Max said this as she laid down on the bed.
"Always." Was his soft response. And that is what he did he laid down with her and held her tight murmuring words of love until she fell to sleep.
End chapter 8
Okay let me know what you think. I live for reviews. Also I know how I want this story to end, and will either wrap it up in the next chapter, or if you would like continue writing a bunch more chapters before I end it. You have to let me know though if you don't I will just end it with the next chapter.