"What had happened to you?" Abby asked John one night as they sat watching
TV.
"Huh?" He mumbled he was half-asleep "What?"
"Your attitude has changed in the last few months. I was just thinking about how you were so moody and edgy for a while. You've lighted up, your not as defensive and aggravated all the time."
He sat up " What brought this on? I wasn't edgy and moody, was I?"
"Yes. You know that harassment class we had to go to? You know how you acted."
John hung his head and groaned. He hated thinking about that day. HE had been pissed off to have to be there. Pissed to have had to be with Luka, Abby and Susan in the same room.
"You have come into my life and made all the difference." He said in a prissy voice. "Do we have to go into this? I want to finish watching… what were we watching?"
"No. I want to know what made the difference and don't try to flatter me by saying it was me."
"The truth." He said finally " is really simple so I don't want to spend all night analyzing this okay?"
"OKAY" She replied
"I was an immature, rich kid, always used to getting what I wanted and when things didn't work out like I wanted I pouted. The stabbing, Lucy's death, rehab were not in my plans and I hated it. Then Mark got sick. Grandfather died and Gamma got sick. It really came home to me how I had been looking at the world. I honestly expected things handed to me on a silver platter. Now I know how easy it is to lose everything not slowly, but overnight. I was angry that things wouldn't work out with Susan and with you. When Mark left her told me something that made me take stock of myself and my future. Happy now see it was just a phase a selfish phase." He finished and then said " no analysis"
She wanted to talk more but didn't push her luck. She really wanted to ask him about why he would wake up some nights with a start covered in sweat. He would shout out in his sleep too. She would not push now anyway. When she looked at him again he was asleep with his head in her lap. She thought about how funny it was that they had gotten so comfortable around each other so fast. He was fun now. They acted like kids half the time. It was nice. A big change from the pressures at work. They really never talked about the hospital when they were alone. It was nice. She got up, turned off the TV and looked out the window it had begun to snow. She walked around the apartment picking up glasses, folding clothes, just rambling. She was tired but not ready to go to sleep. This was nice, easy with John.
John lay on the couch and pretended to sleep. He heard Abby rambling around. She never went to sleep like a normal person she seemed to have to wind herself down. He hoped she wouldn't ask questions like that. He had enough of soul searching just to get out of Rehab and AA meetings were excruciating. She was right though he had acted like moody and edgy for a while. After the stabbing and rehab the nightmares had comeback. He really didn't want to go into that with Abby. He really didn't understand them; they didn't have a form or any content. He just woke up afraid very afraid. He had them as a kid, but they were worse now. He knew he would have to deal with it, but he didn't want to talk about it with Abby.
"Huh?" He mumbled he was half-asleep "What?"
"Your attitude has changed in the last few months. I was just thinking about how you were so moody and edgy for a while. You've lighted up, your not as defensive and aggravated all the time."
He sat up " What brought this on? I wasn't edgy and moody, was I?"
"Yes. You know that harassment class we had to go to? You know how you acted."
John hung his head and groaned. He hated thinking about that day. HE had been pissed off to have to be there. Pissed to have had to be with Luka, Abby and Susan in the same room.
"You have come into my life and made all the difference." He said in a prissy voice. "Do we have to go into this? I want to finish watching… what were we watching?"
"No. I want to know what made the difference and don't try to flatter me by saying it was me."
"The truth." He said finally " is really simple so I don't want to spend all night analyzing this okay?"
"OKAY" She replied
"I was an immature, rich kid, always used to getting what I wanted and when things didn't work out like I wanted I pouted. The stabbing, Lucy's death, rehab were not in my plans and I hated it. Then Mark got sick. Grandfather died and Gamma got sick. It really came home to me how I had been looking at the world. I honestly expected things handed to me on a silver platter. Now I know how easy it is to lose everything not slowly, but overnight. I was angry that things wouldn't work out with Susan and with you. When Mark left her told me something that made me take stock of myself and my future. Happy now see it was just a phase a selfish phase." He finished and then said " no analysis"
She wanted to talk more but didn't push her luck. She really wanted to ask him about why he would wake up some nights with a start covered in sweat. He would shout out in his sleep too. She would not push now anyway. When she looked at him again he was asleep with his head in her lap. She thought about how funny it was that they had gotten so comfortable around each other so fast. He was fun now. They acted like kids half the time. It was nice. A big change from the pressures at work. They really never talked about the hospital when they were alone. It was nice. She got up, turned off the TV and looked out the window it had begun to snow. She walked around the apartment picking up glasses, folding clothes, just rambling. She was tired but not ready to go to sleep. This was nice, easy with John.
John lay on the couch and pretended to sleep. He heard Abby rambling around. She never went to sleep like a normal person she seemed to have to wind herself down. He hoped she wouldn't ask questions like that. He had enough of soul searching just to get out of Rehab and AA meetings were excruciating. She was right though he had acted like moody and edgy for a while. After the stabbing and rehab the nightmares had comeback. He really didn't want to go into that with Abby. He really didn't understand them; they didn't have a form or any content. He just woke up afraid very afraid. He had them as a kid, but they were worse now. He knew he would have to deal with it, but he didn't want to talk about it with Abby.