"Did I do something wrong?" Ron asks, his expression hurt and
confused. I feel horrible, like I've kicked a puppy that's brought me the
newspaper but accidentally shredded it in the process.
What can I say to a question like that? Of course he hasn't done anything wrong; all he's done is been himself! All he's done is been so horribly adorable, so funny, irresistible, and gorgeous, a great friend, and all around just too good to believe…
All he's done is make me fall in love with him. And that's not any more his fault than it is mine, so what do I say to him?
"No, Ron, you haven't done anything wrong." I reply, trying to keep from sounding too annoyed. I brush by him and head over to my bed, then sit and look out the window; I hope that he'll just go away, but I know that he won't. That's just not him.
Ron just stands in front of his bed for a moment, not moving, then turns and takes a step towards me. "Then… what's wrong? Is there anything I can do?" He sounds hesitant, like he's afraid I'll start yelling at him or casting a spell, and I feel even worse than before. He shouldn't ever have to feel uncomfortable around me, especially not like that. I would never hurt him. No matter how upset I get, I know I can't hurt him. Not physically, at least.
"Ron… Can we talk about this later? I'm really tired right now, and I'm going to bed." I say, making a point to sound particularly weary.
He sighs and walks back to his bed, shoulders slumped in defeat. Oh, God, what have I done now? Forgive me, Ron…
"All right, Harry. I'll play your game for now, but I'll find out eventually." He whispers, flinging himself onto his bed and drawing the curtains closed.
Harry Potter, you idiot… Look what you've done this time… I fall back on my bed, close my own curtains, and do my best to muffle the sobs that accompany the tears streaming down my face.
~ ~ ~
It's been three days since Ron confronted me, and we haven't spoken since. It's not that he hasn't tried to talk to me, I've just been too scared of what will happen. I hate making him upset, but I'd rather have it like this than have him hate me… And I know that if I tell Ron how I really feel about him, he'll do just that: hate me.
I wish I could talk to someone about how I'm feeling, but who is there to talk to? I can't go to Hermione; I know she has a crush on Ron, so that wouldn't be fair on her or good for me. Or Ron, for that matter. I won't go to Percy; there's no telling how he'll react to the fact that I think I like other boys, especially when that other boy is his youngest brother.
That leaves only three people: Genny or Fred and George. It's obvious that Genny likes me, and I don't want to hurt her, so that isn't an option. As for Fred and George… Well, I think they'd probably tease me to no end, then tease poor Ron without him realizing what they're doing. That's definitely not what I want.
I suppose that I could go to Neville, but I don't think he'd understand, and going to one of the teachers doesn't seem like a good idea. Maybe if Professor Lupin were here, but… The only adult here I think I might be comfortable talking about such an important matter is Professor Dumbledore, but he's away on a meeting right now… Which leaves me with nobody to turn to.
I sigh and lay my head down on my books; it's late at night, and I'm in the commons room by myself, studying. Or trying to, at least… I can't keep my mind off of Ron, no matter how hard I try. I can't concentrate on my studies; I probably should have asked Hermione to help me earlier, but I was busy with Quidditch practice when she was helping everyone, and now she's asleep, so it's too late to ask her now. I guess I'd better just try my best…
~ ~ ~
"Harry!" Hermione calls from behind me. I'm heading towards breakfast; I'm surprised that she wasn't up before me.
"Yeah?" I ask, turning around to face her. Her face blanches a little, and I feel bad; it must seem like I'm snapping at her, but I can't help it. That's just the way I'm feeling towards everyone and everything, right now.
"Look, Harry." She sounds both cross and worried. "It's been almost a week since you and Ron started fighting. I don't know what's wrong, and if neither of you have asked me for advice then it isn't my place to cut in and give it to either of you uninvited, but one of you needs to do something. Both of you look horribly miserable, you're in wretched moods, and it's making things awkward for everyone that has to be around you. Especially when everyone's together in the commons room."
There's really nothing I can say to that. After all, I'm the one that's been avoiding Ron for no apparent reason. He's tried repeatedly to talk to me, but I've been ignoring him except for in class situations where I can't afford to use such a strategy. Maybe soon he'll stop asking what's bothering me, and I can let things go back to normal without constantly keeping my guard up against finally just bursting out "I love you, Ron Weasley, that's what's bothering me!"
I'm sure that if 'Mione realized that Ron and I have been 'fighting' for longer than a week or so, she'd flip. I'm not sure exactly what she'd do, but… It'd most likely involve a spell or three, and making me very uncomfortable.
"Look, Hermione, I'm hungry and I want to eat breakfast. You can either come with me or stay behind, but I'd really rather eat than talk right now." I say with a frown. Brushing by her, I continue to my destination, walking a little faster. Maybe if I get her upset enough she'll leave me alone for a while… I'm still struggling with my own mind, and other people's thoughts are the last thing I need bothering me right now.
"Locomotor Mortis!" Hermione shouts, whipping her wand out of her robes and pointing at me. I'm so surprised that I don't even think to try and defend myself against the spell. I guess it's a good thing that I only just reached the way out of the commons room; Hermione could get into a lot of trouble if she'd have cast a spell in the hall, and the way she looks right now, she probably wouldn't even think twice about breaking a rule.
"All right, Harry. You've made things difficult on yourself, but we're still going to talk. Mobilicorpus!" She heads towards the room for the fifth year girls, letting me float along behind her.
I think I'm going to be in trouble…
What can I say to a question like that? Of course he hasn't done anything wrong; all he's done is been himself! All he's done is been so horribly adorable, so funny, irresistible, and gorgeous, a great friend, and all around just too good to believe…
All he's done is make me fall in love with him. And that's not any more his fault than it is mine, so what do I say to him?
"No, Ron, you haven't done anything wrong." I reply, trying to keep from sounding too annoyed. I brush by him and head over to my bed, then sit and look out the window; I hope that he'll just go away, but I know that he won't. That's just not him.
Ron just stands in front of his bed for a moment, not moving, then turns and takes a step towards me. "Then… what's wrong? Is there anything I can do?" He sounds hesitant, like he's afraid I'll start yelling at him or casting a spell, and I feel even worse than before. He shouldn't ever have to feel uncomfortable around me, especially not like that. I would never hurt him. No matter how upset I get, I know I can't hurt him. Not physically, at least.
"Ron… Can we talk about this later? I'm really tired right now, and I'm going to bed." I say, making a point to sound particularly weary.
He sighs and walks back to his bed, shoulders slumped in defeat. Oh, God, what have I done now? Forgive me, Ron…
"All right, Harry. I'll play your game for now, but I'll find out eventually." He whispers, flinging himself onto his bed and drawing the curtains closed.
Harry Potter, you idiot… Look what you've done this time… I fall back on my bed, close my own curtains, and do my best to muffle the sobs that accompany the tears streaming down my face.
~ ~ ~
It's been three days since Ron confronted me, and we haven't spoken since. It's not that he hasn't tried to talk to me, I've just been too scared of what will happen. I hate making him upset, but I'd rather have it like this than have him hate me… And I know that if I tell Ron how I really feel about him, he'll do just that: hate me.
I wish I could talk to someone about how I'm feeling, but who is there to talk to? I can't go to Hermione; I know she has a crush on Ron, so that wouldn't be fair on her or good for me. Or Ron, for that matter. I won't go to Percy; there's no telling how he'll react to the fact that I think I like other boys, especially when that other boy is his youngest brother.
That leaves only three people: Genny or Fred and George. It's obvious that Genny likes me, and I don't want to hurt her, so that isn't an option. As for Fred and George… Well, I think they'd probably tease me to no end, then tease poor Ron without him realizing what they're doing. That's definitely not what I want.
I suppose that I could go to Neville, but I don't think he'd understand, and going to one of the teachers doesn't seem like a good idea. Maybe if Professor Lupin were here, but… The only adult here I think I might be comfortable talking about such an important matter is Professor Dumbledore, but he's away on a meeting right now… Which leaves me with nobody to turn to.
I sigh and lay my head down on my books; it's late at night, and I'm in the commons room by myself, studying. Or trying to, at least… I can't keep my mind off of Ron, no matter how hard I try. I can't concentrate on my studies; I probably should have asked Hermione to help me earlier, but I was busy with Quidditch practice when she was helping everyone, and now she's asleep, so it's too late to ask her now. I guess I'd better just try my best…
~ ~ ~
"Harry!" Hermione calls from behind me. I'm heading towards breakfast; I'm surprised that she wasn't up before me.
"Yeah?" I ask, turning around to face her. Her face blanches a little, and I feel bad; it must seem like I'm snapping at her, but I can't help it. That's just the way I'm feeling towards everyone and everything, right now.
"Look, Harry." She sounds both cross and worried. "It's been almost a week since you and Ron started fighting. I don't know what's wrong, and if neither of you have asked me for advice then it isn't my place to cut in and give it to either of you uninvited, but one of you needs to do something. Both of you look horribly miserable, you're in wretched moods, and it's making things awkward for everyone that has to be around you. Especially when everyone's together in the commons room."
There's really nothing I can say to that. After all, I'm the one that's been avoiding Ron for no apparent reason. He's tried repeatedly to talk to me, but I've been ignoring him except for in class situations where I can't afford to use such a strategy. Maybe soon he'll stop asking what's bothering me, and I can let things go back to normal without constantly keeping my guard up against finally just bursting out "I love you, Ron Weasley, that's what's bothering me!"
I'm sure that if 'Mione realized that Ron and I have been 'fighting' for longer than a week or so, she'd flip. I'm not sure exactly what she'd do, but… It'd most likely involve a spell or three, and making me very uncomfortable.
"Look, Hermione, I'm hungry and I want to eat breakfast. You can either come with me or stay behind, but I'd really rather eat than talk right now." I say with a frown. Brushing by her, I continue to my destination, walking a little faster. Maybe if I get her upset enough she'll leave me alone for a while… I'm still struggling with my own mind, and other people's thoughts are the last thing I need bothering me right now.
"Locomotor Mortis!" Hermione shouts, whipping her wand out of her robes and pointing at me. I'm so surprised that I don't even think to try and defend myself against the spell. I guess it's a good thing that I only just reached the way out of the commons room; Hermione could get into a lot of trouble if she'd have cast a spell in the hall, and the way she looks right now, she probably wouldn't even think twice about breaking a rule.
"All right, Harry. You've made things difficult on yourself, but we're still going to talk. Mobilicorpus!" She heads towards the room for the fifth year girls, letting me float along behind her.
I think I'm going to be in trouble…