Chapter 06 - Faithless

(Woohoo! Merry Christmas…Happy New Year…Umm…or whatever festival is occurring by the time I post this! I don't own JSR, Triple-C, the Golden Rhinos, or Grind City, but I think I own everything else. Please r+r!)

The music stopped, and we lay there, our breathing echoing in the dark loft.

"Better…better get moving," Coin said. "If they walk in on us…"

I scrambled to my feet, pulling my jeans back over my hips, hands shaking. Throwing my nightdress back on, I watched him dress. I didn't know what to think. What had I done? What had just happened?

"I'm going out," I said. "I need some fresh air."

He nodded, and I hurried for the door. Pulling it open, I picked my way carefully down the stairs, pits of shadow yawning under my feet. The cold air hit my face and evaporated the sweat on my skin.

Out in the dark street, I leant against the wall and tried to think. But it was no good. A combination of arousal, embarrassment and confusion had left my brain scrambled.

A big, stupid smile kept spreading over my face. That had been good. Very good. In fact, too good.

Shiro had ripped me up using the same method. I'd felt like I was drowning when I couldn't spend time with Akina. What the hell was going on?

And he was Cube's boyfriend, too.

Well, that didn't bother me. If he wanted to jump my bones, that was his business.

At the memory of it another smile burst onto my lips. Geez, I was acting so ditzy! For once I could really understand the meaning of the phrase, 'he screwed my brains out.' Mine seemed so far out they were already back in Tokyo.

I'd known him less than a day. He could have some sort of disease. And if he hadn't used protection I could be pregnant. You're an idiot, Lana, I told myself. You're a fool.

I leaned further back against the cold brickwork and tried to think sensibly.

One: Just because Shiro hurt me didn't mean all guys did. The fact that I hadn't been expecting this probably helped, just as the fact that I'd finally fought back against Shiro did.

Two: I loved, always had loved, and always would love Akina. But she was dead. And I didn't think she'd begrudge me happiness.

Three: I now had no way of telling whether I was straight or gay, so I may as well go with the flow and do whatever seemed best.

Four: Coin was totally hot.

I heard the sound of skates in the night, and looked up to see Combo and Cube walking back to the loft. They didn't see me. I waited until they had gone inside, then walked back up the stairs myself.

Inside a light was burning, turning us all into sharp shadow figures. Coin was listening to some strange melody that bore no relation to anything I'd ever heard, Combo was playing his rap music again, and Cube was sitting at the window, staring out into space, fury written in every line of her back.

At first I thought Coin had confessed, but as I pushed back the door Cube turned and said, with a smile, "Hey, you okay?"

"Yeah. Just wanted a walk."

She nodded, and returned to staring.

I figured it was simply she was mad about their earlier fight. Well, that was good. If Cube found out I'd be on the run again. And that might have extremely nasty consequences.

I glanced over at Coin, and felt myself blush. What was wrong with me?

He met my eyes, and smiled, and my heart did the can-can.

The next morning the two lovebirds still weren't speaking.

"Come on, Combo," Cube was saying loudly as I tried to open my eyes. "Some of us actually want to get something done today."

"Hey, Lana, you want to stay behind?" Coin's voice filled my head. "I mean, you don't seem as unreasonable as some girls…"

"Uh…" I looked from him to Cube, trying to act upset about the rowing. "Well, I suppose I can, if you want…"

"Oh, that's great, make her stay with you," Cube snarled. "You stay if you want, Lana, but I wouldn't, because this guy thinks he's God's gift to women and they're just there to worship him."

"Touchy, aren't we?" Coin said.

Cube looked as though she was going to say something really bitchy then, but Combo grabbed her shoulders, swung her round, and marched her out through the door, calling back, "See you guys later!"

We both sat there, waiting, as their footsteps faded away. When they'd finally gone, we rushed over to each other. He kissed me and kissed me and it was like gulping water in summer.

When we finally broke apart, I knew my brains hadn't just reached Tokyo. They were probably heading back towards Europe now.

"Listen," he said. "If Cube finds out about this – about us – she'll kick you out and she'll probably kick me out too. You don't want that to happen, right?"

I shook my head. Words seemed too hard.

"So we have to keep it secret." He was whispering as he gripped my shoulders. "We can try and meet up whenever we can, all right?"

I nodded. This was the easiest conversation I'd ever had.

Then he kissed me, and then – well, I see no point in describing it all again. Let's just say lofts, records, and Grind City now have completely different associations for me…

We'd just finished when we heard footsteps on the stairs.

We both lay there for a moment, evidently both hoping we'd been mistaken, and then we sort of performed a mad scramble for our clothes. By the time Combo came in, I was staring out of the window, and Coin was rearranging his record collection.

"Uh – guys – you don't have to stay in," Combo said. "We need you out there. The cops have been having another white paint spree."

"Sure, whatever." Coin got to his feet. "But I'm not coming out just to have Cube sling mud at me. Me and Lana'll go do the rooftops, you and Cube stay in the skate park."

"Cool."

We followed Combo down the stairs and out into the sunlight. There he turned round the corner into the skate park, and Coin led me up some steps onto a flat roof. Then we stared at each other, and started laughing.

"It's not funny," I said at last.

"No…" Coin rubbed tears from his eyes. "This isn't going to be easy."

"That never bothered me before," I said, and our shadows merged together as I kissed him again.

The day passed in a love-flavoured haze. As the evening turned into night, I lay looking up at the bare ceiling feeling almost happy. My body grew heavy, and my eyes began to close as I lay there in luxurious warmth.

"Why did you come to Kogane-cho?" Chiyo asked me.

I walked through Bantam Street. "I'm not telling you. Just because you're dead."

She kicked the side of a bus. "Well, fine, I won't warn you then."

"About what? I know Cube will be angry. I'm not scared."

"You don't know?" Chiyo laughed. Her shadow lengthened, and she fell backwards into it.

Of course, it wasn't Chiyo. It was Akina. I reached out to her. The rain cut between us, and she was gone.

I dashed through the rainfall, looking for her. But she was gone. I stood on an empty, muddy street, and I was alone.

And then someone was chasing me, and I had to run.

I dashed down the street, but my skates were too heavy, like stone. He was getting closer and closer, and then I fell. I looked up and saw him as he blocked out the sky.

Shiro.

"You're dead, you're dead!" I screamed. "I killed you! Get away from me!"

"I'm not dead and I never have been!"

He came swooping down over me like a cloak. I tried to push him away but my arms wouldn't move.

Someone watching, I screamed at him to help, to do something, and it was no good, he was gone, and then Shiro was on top of me, ripping into me, shattering me so that I was left nothing but dozens of pieces on the ground. Trapped behind my own eyes, I desperately tried to wake up.

When I did, I was gasping, deep breaths echoing around the loft. I looked at my watch. It was two a.m.

I couldn't stop shivering. I lay there, curled into a ball, sick with terror. He was dead. He had to be. I saw him die. Didn't I?

Maybe he isn't. Maybe he's just pretending to be dead, maybe he's still out there and he'll drag me back, no, no…

It was a dream, I told myself, looking round the loft, letting the pictures in my mind fade away. They wouldn't, not properly, they hung around like stains on a table. I couldn't move, I was so frightened.

"Lana?"

It was Coin.

"Yes?"

"I heard you scream. What happened?"

"I had a nightmare," I managed to say. My lungs were tight with terror, making it hard to talk. "Did I wake up the others?"

"No. I'm closest to you. Are you all right?"

"I'm just scared…" I put my hand out across the gap between us, and felt him take it. He had a strong grip, and it helped drag me out of the terror.

"Do you wanna…talk about it?"

Talking. Suddenly my secret was dragging me down like a rock in my stomach.

"I want to tell you something," I said. "I haven't told anyone else…please don't hate me."

"I won't. Is it something to do with why you left Tokyo-to?"

"I killed my mum's boyfriend," I said. "I stabbed him."

Silence for a moment, then he whispered, "Why?"

"He was raping me."

Another word for it. And this one seemed a lot more serious. Was that because I wanted Coin to take it seriously, wanted him to accept me for doing it?

"I'm sorry," he said, and he sounded like he meant it. He stroked my fingers. "Was that what you dreamt about?"

"Yes."

"Lana, I'm so sorry."

"That's all right, okay? We'd better get back to sleep."

"If you're sure you're okay."

I lay back, staring up at the ceiling again. But I didn't let myself sleep. Those shadows were still behind my eyes, and I wasn't going to walk back into them. Ever.

The next day I had a permanent yawn stuck in my throat.

"You can come out with me today," Cube said. "The guys already left."

"Cool." It wasn't. I wanted to be with Coin. But there was no sense in making Cube suspicious.

"By the way, Lana," Cube said as I followed her out of the loft. "You want to buy some other clothes?"

"You bet. I had to leave in a hurry."

"Okay. We can go and do that – may as well get it over with while the guys aren't here."

We walked out into the light. It was a damp, sunny morning, and not many people were about.

"I'm sorry about all the arguing," Cube said. "It's just – I guess Coin and I aren't getting on so well."

Suddenly she actually looked miserable.

"Oh, I'm sure it's just a passing thing," I said, trying to repress a smirk and thinking, Please say it isn't.

Cube shrugged. "This isn't the first time we've had a row. And he's being so distant this time. I feel like he doesn't actually care any more."

"Why did you start rowing?" I knew if I offered any sympathy I'd start giggling and then I may as well throw myself under a bus and be done with it.

"He just kept making these stupid jokes," Cube snapped. "He knew it was bugging me. I'm not saying I can't take a joke, but I was just tired, and it would have been nice if he could have quit when I asked him. But no – he just kept on and on until I flipped."

"Some guys act so immature," I said.

"And now he won't apologise, and I'm not going to. I haven't done anything wrong. Why should I say sorry?"

"Of course you shouldn't," I said. "Guys don't want someone who acts desperate."

"It's just – if we do break up, I mean seriously, it's gonna wreck the gang. Combo's friends with both of us, if we're not talking he's gonna get tired of having to be the one in the middle. Then he might quit, and if he quits then there'll be no reason for me and Coin to stick together, and that'll be the end of Triple-C."

"I'm sure that won't happen," I said, trying to sound comforting. "I mean, Combo's not gonna want to abandon you guys, is he?"

"He tells me I should try and make up. But I don't want to!" Cube kicked the corner of the wall. "I mean, I love Coin and all…"

Damn.

"But I'm not putting up with all this shit just because of that."

Cool.

"No, I definitely think you shouldn't," I said, trying to sound sincere. "He's got to learn he can't just keep pissing you off and get away with it."

"Thanks, Lana."

"That's okay. I just want you guys to be happy."

Not.

"I really appreciate that," Cube said, then stopped as a long black car prowled past us like a snake.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing…we just never see cars like that round here. It's pretty fancy…"

The car slowed, almost stopped in front of us. Cube gave it the middle finger, and after a moment it moved off again.

"Weird," Cube muttered. "Anyway…It's nice to know someone's on my side."

"Sure I am, Cube. Sure I am."

After I'd purchased a black T-shirt to wear instead of my nightdress, me and Cube tagged the skate park, and then she headed back to the loft.

I followed a few minutes later. As I approached the door I heard voices. I stopped and pressed my ear to it.

"I don't want to break up the gang." Cube.

"You're not going to, okay? I don't see why you're keeping up this conversation. I'm sticking in Triple-C no matter what you do."

"I don't want you to leave, okay? I just wish you could see that you hurt me."

"I'm sorry." Coin didn't sound like he meant it.

Cube sighed. "Well, that's all I wanted to say. I don't know why we've ended up like this, but I'm not going to beg."

"Fine."

I heard someone marching towards the door, and leapt back from it as Cube walked out, shoulders drooping. Quickly I hurried in.

Coin smiled at me, but he didn't look too happy either.

"Well?" I asked.

"We've reached an armed truce."

"What about me?"

"Lana…" He hugged me. "Don't worry, okay? I'm gonna stick with you whatever happens. Promise."

He kissed me, and my fear faded.

That afternoon we were all out in the skate park, when suddenly Cube rushed round the corner and yelled, "The cops are coming!"

"Where are they?" Coin said.

"They're coming down the street…they're checking all the alleyways…" Cube tried to catch her breath.

"Right," Coin said. "Lana, you go and do lookout on the roof. If you see them, yell. Us three'll carry on as long as we can. If anyone gets chased –"

"We know," Cube snapped. "Don't go back home. We're not that dumb, Coin."

"Just thought I'd mention it," he retorted. "Lana, move."

I dashed round to the steps and hurried up onto the roof. By lying on my stomach I had a clear view of the panda cars coming down the road, stopping at intervals, and of Cube, who was tagging the wall leading into the skate park. Coin and Combo were out of sight, down in the actual park itself. They only had a few minutes. I opened my mouth to yell.

Then a horrible plan stole into my head.

If I just happened to call out too late, Cube would be in serious trouble. Combo and Coin would see what was going on and scarper, but Cube would be caught. Then I wouldn't have to worry about her any more.

I felt sick at the thought of the idea. It was devious, evil, and unrudielike. But it would solve a lot of my problems.

Right?

The car had stopped. Five cops were hurrying towards the skate park.

Before I could decide whether to yell or not, things started happening fast.

Cube heard the running feet. She took in her pursuers with one glance, then stopped tagging and started to dash. I got to my feet, hurried to the other side of the roof, and screamed down a warning to the guys. Cube, running past the fence, was doing the same thing. I saw them dash up the ramp out of the park. Coin turned right, to safety – Combo turned left, to face the Keisatsu.

Cube leapt, began grinding along the wall encircling the area, outrunning the cops. Then I saw a little puff of dust fly from the wall as a bullet pinged onto it, above her head.

Combo skated towards them, weaving and dodging. He slammed out with his fists – once, twice, three times – and cops fell around him like they were doing some sort of dance. Another shot.

Coin came rushing up onto the roof. He hurried over to me and we both stared down at the scene.

Two cops left standing. Cube was doubled over, clutching her side. Combo grabbed her wrist and began to run.

"They're not gonna make it…" Coin's voice was tense.

"What can we do?" I looked round at him. He looked like he was desperately trying to figure an answer to that.

More shots. My throat tightened.

Combo and Cube dashed round the corner of the building we were on top of. We both hurried to the edge of the roof. The cops were coming round. Then I had an idea.

I took out a paint can, and dropped it onto the cops. They stopped, looked up. I'd ducked back, but I heard them yell something, and while one cop carried on after the other two, the other made a dash for the stairs.

"Quick!" I said. "Get jumping!"

We began to dash, leapt over the gap onto the next roof, and the next, and then through the window of the taller building facing us. Glass shattered around my face.

We looked back. The cop was standing on the rooftop, looking stuck.

"Out of this window and onto the railway," Coin said, hurrying over to the adjacent wall.

We leapt again, landed on the tracks, and began to grind. I wasn't too happy with our position – the memories of the Sable Blades test were still clear – but the tracks were empty at the moment, glittering in the sun.

"Now what?" I asked.

"Now we try and lose him, and get back home," Coin muttered.

We leapt off the tracks at the same moment, past the cop's nose, wall-rode off a building, and dropped back into the skate park. The three cops Combo had dealt with were still unconscious in an untidy pile on the ground, but the one chasing us was dashing back down the steps.

"Split up," I said. "See you later!"

Coin turned and dashed off down Bantam Street, and I began wall-riding.

The cop looked from me to him, then chose him. I waited until I was sure I was safe, then made tracks back to the loft.

Combo and Cube were already there. Cube had blood on her face, and both of them were out of breath.

"You okay?" I asked.

"Yeah…" Cube nodded. "I got grazed by a bullet, I think…but I'll live."

Damn.

"Where's Coin?" she asked.

"He took off to lure them away from here. Said he'd try and lose them."

Cube took a deep breath, then closed her eyes.

"I'm really sorry I didn't warn you in time," I said, mentally crossing my fingers. "Honest, I was just about to when you saw them…"

"That's okay," Cube said, her voice cool. "Just don't do it again, okay?"

I didn't answer. Did she suspect? Cube may be annoying, but she wasn't dumb.

Footsteps coming up the stairs. We all turned to watch the door, and then breathed a sigh of relief as Coin walked in.

Cube ran over to him. "You're okay!"

"Of course I am. You don't think those bozos could've touched me, do you?" He hugged her, and jealousy burned up inside me like acid, frightening me by how bad it felt.

"But you…" he said. He touched her face, and I gritted my teeth. "You're bleeding."

"I'm fine." Cube seemed to realise how close they were, and twitched herself apart from him.

I saw Coin's eyes flicker from me to her. There was confusion in them. A lot of it.

Oh, great. Somehow he'd fallen back in love with her. The bitch. Why hadn't I tried harder to get her caught?

"Cube, I'm sorry," he said, taking her hand. "I really am."

He sounded it too. I felt the sappiness of the situation closing over me like steel bars. I had to get out of here.

"I'll leave you two alone," I said, trying to make it sound like I approved of it. Then I dashed for the stairs.

I didn't go all the way down – the cops might still be lurking. Instead I leant against the wobbly banister and kicked the wall over and over again.

The door above me opened, and Combo walked out. Quickly I pulled the rage off my face.

"Hey," I said, as he walked down to stand next to me.

"Yo." He leant against the banister next to me, and I felt it dip.

Silence. I sneaked a glance at him. He didn't look like a guy whose friends are making up should look. He looked worryingly thoughtful.

"What's with you?" I snapped. There's no other word for it. "Tired of seeing them chew each other's faces off?"

As soon as I said it I regretted it.

"No. I'm just wondering why you are."

I wondered whether straight denial would work, and decided it wouldn't. Better go for the scarred act. "Love doesn't exist. It just bugs me to see them acting like it does."

"That's kinda harsh for such a kid."

I sneered at him, and said, "Well, sorree. I don't do fairy stories."

Combo shrugged, and didn't answer. I got the feeling he didn't believe me, but it wasn't like he could prove it.

The door opened, and Cube stuck her head out. "Come on, guys, we didn't mean to make you walk out on us."

She had a big, stupid smile on her face, and her lipstick was smeared.

Bitch, I thought at her. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. But I made my face stay neutral. I couldn't afford to tip her off as to my real feelings.

Coin was rubbing his mouth, and I saw the same blue on it that was on Cube's. As soon as the other two had their backs turned, I shot him a death ray glare.

It was some time before I could get him alone. Twilight, and we were tagging in the street.

"Look," he said. "I'm sorry, okay? Things just happened."

"Oh, really?"

"Yes, really. I – I don't know what to do now, I guess."

"You can't decide between us?" I jammed my finger down on the nozzle of the paint can so hard that my joints clicked. Paint shot out and ran down the wall.

"No. Lana, I'm sorry."

"You promised you'd always stick with me," I said.

"Well, I might, mightn't I? I just don't know."

"How long is it going to take for you to decide?"

"I –"

Coin stopped. He was staring over my shoulder.

"What?"

I turned to see the same black car that had passed me and Cube, coming towards us like a panther.

Coin's eyes had narrowed.

"Coin? How long?"

"Huh? Oh, I don't know. Look, I've got to do something, okay?"

He turned and walked away, towards the car.

"Are you crazy?" I yelled after him.

He ignored me. Walked over to the passenger side and knocked on the tinted window.

Slowly it slid down. Coin held a muffled conversation with the occupant, then turned and walked back to me.

"Sorry about that," he said. "Look, I don't know. I think we'll just have to see how it goes."

"What was all that about?" I asked as the car revved up and tore away from us.

"Oh, some guys interested in buying a record."

"Pretty rich guys."

Coin shrugged.

"Look," he said. "I promise, I'll come to a decision. Sooner or later. I just can't decide."

(R+r now! Now! Pleeeeeeeease…)