I took one look at the kid with the bad haircut, Dib, and I could feel my eyes turn from the happy looky-color to angry looky-color. "Intruder! Intruder! Intruder!" I beeped, and ran foward, shiny metally stuff clanking and jangling. Zim looked at me, speechless for once, and Dib whirled around giving me an evil look.

"Don't toy with me, you worthless pile of junk", sneered Dib. He needs a new writer.

Lunging foward, I knocked the kid down, beeping in his face. "You smell of a bladder-bag and you have a bad haircut!"

He looked of the stench I described for a split moment, and then he kicked me off, grabbing the shiny welding-thingamabob Zim used earlier, pointing it straight at my head.

"Don't move, you alien!" he growled. How could he know? How could he have found out Zim's secret? I squeezed my eyes shut, and silently prayed to the Scary Monkey.

Suddenly Dib laughed.

"Huh? What's your problem, kid-with-bad-hair? Have you no desire of taking your fire-rod and plunging it into my forehead?" I taunted. Dib just laughed more.

"SHUT UP, WORTHLESS DIRT-CHILD!" commanded my ever-brave master Zim.

Dib shook his head, saying "You don't understand, Zim. You and your so- called robot have fallen into my plans! I have spent too long conceiving my plan, and alas, I am victorious! I finally have the chance to degrade you to your face without fear of consequence or vengence. I shall reveal you to the world in your true form, and then...Then I will have the last laugh!"

Zim fell silent. He just stared at me, and I stared back, before speaking slowly, and with much venom in his tone.

"Oh, but I do understand..." he fell quiet, and I could sense he was using mind pictures to choose the right words to come through the noise tube. "I understand with much ease. For starters, my robot's name is GIR, you idiot." His voice rose with anger everytime he spoke. "You are very right you have spent too long with your plans. Soon, the Irken race will appear in this very chamber, as they have planned to do so for many weeks. You are far from victorious, and you reek of stupidness. You shall not degrade me, Dib, for I am full of...Powerfull...ness...And you...YOU will face my vengence. And as for the laughs...Save them for when you appear in the mirror!"

I almost cheered. My master had spoken nothing but truth...stuff again! Dib looked senselessly at Zim, and I took the opportunity and tackled him, seizing the fire-rod. I then pinned down the stupid boy, and burned "SCARY MONKEY" into his stomach. He screamed in pain, and the faint odor of burning flesh filled the labratory. He held his stomach after I was done, and then I rushed to Zim to untie him from the welding bed.

"Zimmy Zim Zim! Are you okee dokee kay kay?" I cried, excited he wasn't dead or badly injured.

Zim, for once, smiled towards me. "Could be worse. He burned me up like a pyro cat on crack*. You know Gir, you really did well. Sure, you got a little brainless and taunted Dib, but you did well-" Suddenly Zim was seized from behind. Dib, panting from the pain of his new brand, rammed him into a steel cage he found lying around the lab, and shoved him into the hover-mobile Zim had been working on to make fixing the higher parts of the space ship easier. Dib raised the hover-mobile almost to the ceiling of the lab, and peered down at me.

"Not well enough, Girir, or whatever your name is! Ha, I have Zim now, and you will-"

A copper banana came flying from behind me, and nailed Dib smack in the eye. He fell the hundred some feet to the floor, and twitched in place, holding his eye. I whirled around, wondering who's banana felled the worm- baby, and behold, a sight for mine eyes!

The Scary Monkey stood, dull-eyed and smelly-like, in all his glory. I fell to my knees and groveled, sobbing from disbelief.

I shrieked out, "You are my deity! I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy!"

The Scary Monkey just loomed over me, scratched his butt, and exited. I noticed Zim driving the hover-mobile down to the ground, obviously escaped from his prison. He landed it on the still-twitching Dib, and I heard a muffled cry from him.

"I guess that Scary Monkey is good for something after all" mused Zim.

Suddenly, the door to the lab busted down, and the angry girl with the video game stalked in.

"Where is my brother, Zim?" growled the girl.

"He's under the hover-mobile. Pretty clever, eh Gaz?" Gaz. That was her name.

"I'm taking him home with me. It's family night, and I want to eat tacos with Dad."

"No, Gaz, don't!" Zim protested, getting in her way. Gaz just bowled him over, and to my surprise, lifted up the hover-mobile and drug Dib out with one hand, Game Slave 10,000 in the other. As they walked past...Or rather, Gaz walked, and Dib was hauled, I growled in Dib's ear "My name is Gir, you worthless earth poo!"

"Thank you Zim, Gir...we'll be leaving now." barked Gaz, taking the elevator back up and out of our house.

Zim just stared in disbelief that once again, Dib escaped his wrath with the help of his sister.

The End?

(*Cat on Crack is a term derived from issue #1 of Johnny the Homicidal Maniac. JTHM is from the same creator as Invader Zim. Deity bless, Senor Vasquez.)