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Chapter 2: Can Vampires Get Aids?
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Help you with what Duo? Trowa scratched his brow as he eyed his strange yet dangerous braided friend.
I'll tell you in a sec, just turn around.
Trowa did as he was told. Duo's attack probably would've been successful if Trowa wasn't a Gundam pilot. Trowa saw Duo's looming figure out of the corner of his eye and countered with a quick roundhouse to the braided pilot's solar plexus. Duo rolled over in pain and raised his head to meet the gaze of Heavy Arm's pilot.
Why did you attack me? Trowa asked with a cold voice and an expression to match.
It's not like I wanted to, but more like a necessity, Duo slowly rose and dusted himself off, I wish you didn't have to kick so hard, jeez. Why am I getting my ass kicked so often?!
Trowa shifted his hair's position to the right side of his face, What do you mean by necessity?
Well it sounds kind of strange, but I'm a vampire.
He can't be serious
Duo, I don't have time for your stupid games. Trowa began to walk off until his left shoulder was almost crushed by a cold icy hand. Trowa always had a strong threshold of pain.
I never was this strong Trowa, and besides look in that puddle
Trowa glanced into the small shapeless mass of water at the sidewalk. He started to believe Duo's incredible tale.
No reflection!
Trowa brushed away his companion's hand and faced him, How did this happen?
[Flashback]
I knew I should've brought a flashlight! Duo thought to himself as he strolled down the dark damp alley. Before he knew it, something pounced on him, opened its jaws, and slowly pressed its long fangs into Duo's neck until they broke the skin, and warm red blood oozed out.
Damn didn't see...
Duo woke up and examined his surroundings.
What the hell happened? Ow!
Duo felt the wound at the side of his neck.
Puncture wounds?
He saw a dark figure through his peripheral vision. Duo got up and approached the figure, preparing to confront his assailant. To Duo's surprise the figure was a attractive young lady with long radiant red hair that fell to the small of her back. She was a woman probably around his age. She had big cat-like eyes that were a luminous green color. She had on a red dress that reached the lower half of her shin with a slit on the side of it to reveal her shapely right leg.
Hey babe, if you wanted an autograph or something all you had to do was ask.
The young woman shifted her weight to her left leg and studied the young man she had feasted on, Oh I wanted a little more than that.
Duo suddenly wished he wasn't a committed man, or a monogamous one for that matter, but was still curious to find out who this stranger was.
Sorry babe, I'm not into that stuff anymore, I'm a committed man.
The lady raised her brow and looked at Duo with an expression of pure amusement, No you fool, I mean eternal service.
Sorry babe I said I'm not interested in-
No you fool, not that kind of service! The young woman exclaimed with unnaturally thundering volume, You will be my eternal slave.
It was Duo's turn to look amused.
Look here babe, you obviously don't know who I am.
And you either.
Duo was getting quite impatient, Fine, you know who I am? Duo Maxwell, pilot of the Gundam Death Scythe, fought in the colony wars AC 195 and the Endless Waltz skirmish AC 196.
The woman was quite impressed by this. Duo smirked to think he had just overwhelmed his opponent by his fame alone.
Quite impressive indeed, but you are without your gundam.
So what makes you think that I need a gundam right now? Duo was going to have some fun here.
I am a vampire.
Duo could hardly suppress the laughter rising in his throat, A vampire huh? So why am I your servant now?
The woman shifted her weight again, Because my bite compels your soul to bend to my will.
That was the last straw, Duo could no longer keep his big mouth shut. He erupted with laughter which put a confused and somewhat frustrated expression on the vampire's face.
Hahahaha, compel my soul? Hahahahahah!! I haven't laughed so much since I put laxative in Heero's coffee during the preventer press conference hahahahahaha!!!
The woman's face was bright red by now, Yeah, that was what Heero looked like too hahahahaha!!
Duo's laughter was interrupted by a quick excruciating punch to the gut. Duo's body was trajected into the air and into a wall which crumbled from the impact.
You might have not survived that if it wasn't for my bite! the woman was pretty damn serious now, Now come with me or I will cause your soul eternal suffering!
Duo got up and brushed himself off, And I will cause you the pain of a thousand paper cuts!
Well that was intimidating. What can I do now? She is definitely stronger than me.
Duo suddenly recalled something Heero said before: I've faced thousands of soldiers, mobile dolls, and even Zechs operating the Zero system, but there is nothing more horrible more deadly than your annoying incessant chatter!
Duo used his god given talent and began to talk his way out of this situation. He babbled on for hours about the true definition of servant, vampire, and eternal. He even began to talk about his personal life and his hobbies.
Stop! Stop! I've had enough. To hell with you, I don't want to spend an eternity listening to your meaningless chatter!
The vampiress ran, flew, whatever she had to do to get the hell out of there.
Whew, that's a relief. I wonder why I'm so hungry all of a sudden?
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You see, I need blood to sustain myself. Duo was getting quite desperate.
Trowa scratched his chin and analyzed the current situation, Well biting me will only add to the problem. Well, we can stop by the blood bank to buy some blood.
I didn't know you could buy blood. Duo replied while scratching the back of his braid.
Trowa smirked at the pure absurdness of the answer, You can if you have free passes to the circus on Saturday.
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Where do we search first? asked Quatre who was obviously happy to have a break from Dorothy's enamored period.
You fool, we should look for him at his favorite establishments. said Wufei who thought he was the fucking man for stating the obvious, no offense Wu-man.
I'm not going there. Heero stated coldly.
Why not? It isn't dangerous place is it? Quatre had a vague idea about Duo's favorite hangout, but wasn't quite sure.
No, unless your significant other was the former queen of the world. Wufei gave Heero the You weakling man, why can't you stand up to your woman, you're a disgrace to all mankind look.
The group walked the late night streets, navigating through mazes of brick and steel, through the abandoned alleys dodging the nocturnal residence of the city. They traveled a great distance over the urban setting to arrive at their final destination: a strip club.
Well this sure looks like a well established business, Quatre trying to wipe the sweat and drool that had accumulated on his face, Wh wha what do you think we'll find in here at the the...Pussy Palace?
You weakling man, why are you weakening to feminine wiles?! Wufei, Sally Po's sex slave, was one to talk.
They walked into the establishment as casual as gundam pilots could be. In the corner of the room is where they sat, scanning the noisy room for their braided comrade.
We are never going to find him here. I will accomplish nothing by staying here, except for possibly getting in trouble with Relena.
A stripper made her way towards the table, Hey there handsome, wanna dance? She nonchalantly pointed at Quatre.
Quatre turned a bright shade of red, Um...do you mean like the Waltz or something?
The stripper tossed her hair behind her shoulder and whispered something into Quatre's ear which made him even redder.
I bet he wishes it was an Endless Waltz, hah. Wufei joked as he spotted a familiar face near the main dance island, Is that Zechs?
Zechs wouldn't be caught dead here with Noin as his spouse. I wouldn't either considering she is the better pilot than any of us...if she did have a Gundam she could cause such disasters.
Heero found himself to be mistaken as he saw what Wufei had spotted: A very intoxicated Zechs Marquis drinking himself into an even greater stupor.
Heero and Wufei decided to leave the slobbering, stuttering Quatre to find out why the hell Zechs was here.
Wufei was the appointed one to make their presence known, Hey Zechs, shouldn't you be at the preventer base with Noin working on that new terraforming project?
Zechs gave Wufei the lazy eye, Thatsh Lucretshia Marquish to yoush!
Oh yeah, they got married a week or two ago. Heero couldn't and didn't know of the ceremony due to putting out a fire at colony L5.
Married life getting to you? Heero asked blandly.
Yoush hash no idea! Zechs was starting to attract attention to himself, We hadsh a fight!
Wufei decided to ask...due to hearing his second favorite word, fight, injustice being the first, What kind of fight?
Zechs shivered and once again revealed the lazy eye, She won't let me keep Tallgesesh in the garagesh!!
What kind of injustice is that!!? Number one was said and done, hot damn I made a rhyme.
Enough of this.
Look here Zechs, I don't have time to listen to your story anymore. We came here for one thing and one thing only.
Whatsh? Relena'sh been mean to you too?
You don't know the half of it, ahem, well anyway, have you seen Duo?
Duo? That's the lash thing I'z want to shee.
Heero nodded in agreement, Well lets go get Quatre and-
Waish, I didn't shay I didn't shee him, that got Heero's attention, He wash with Trowa at a blood bank or shomething.
Fine, we'll get Quatre and Zechs then we'll find Duo.
Wufei looked at Heero in a hopeless way, Well, that's if you CAN get Quatre to go. Wufei pointed towards their table.
You know I am a trillionair, and I'm a Gundam pilot, oh yes I am.
Quatre was trying to impress the stripper and succeeding at it.
Oh god.
Quatre it's time to go.
Wait a sec, I'm just trying to get to know Bambi here!
Oh well, I guess I'll have to use the usual tactic.
And I'm sure Dorothy would love to get to know Bambi as well, see, she's right over-
Quatre bolted out the strip club as fast as those Arabian legs could carry him.
Another point goes to Heero.
