In the country of Japan in the northwestern most part of the city of Tokyo in the district known as Nerima a young man stopped at a street corner. He had azure blue eyes and ebony hair with a braided pigtail and was dressed in a red Chinese styled shirt with black pants and matching slippers. On his back was the standard issue school case from Furinkan High School in backpack form. The young man looked as though he were deep in thought and had a frustrated look on his face. He wasn't paying too much to his surroundings but was alert enough to hear four distinct sounds, a ball bouncing into the street, a child's laughter, a car engine, and a mother's scream. Putting two and two together the young man looked up in time to see a five year old boy standing in the middle of the street with a sports car headed straight for him. Using his instincts the young man ran into the street and dove to push the boy out of the way. But before he could get up and save himself the car struck the young man sending him toppling onto the hood and then back onto the street when the panic stricken driver had stopped.
********
Meet Ranma Saotome. He is sixteen years old, a martial artist, a year one student at Furinkan High School, lives at the Tendo dojo with his father, has alurophobia, is engaged to three young women, and is cursed to turn into a girl when doused with gold water. Trouble seems to seek him out. He is the hero of our story. However, he happens to be dead. That complicates things.
********
The crowd of people gathered at the crosswalk waiting to cross the busy street had watched in horror as the car struck Ranma. The body of the cursed martial artist had lain limp on the asphalt for a good solid ten minutes before the nearest police officer had arrived on the scene. And it was another five before some type of medical personnel arrived on the scene. It just so happened that the individual was none other than Dr. Tofu Ono. He had been heading back to his practice after taking a lunch break and saw the crowd of people circling the accident scene. Wondering what was going on he turned to one of the bystanders to find out.
"Excuse me but can you tell me what's going on here?" Dr. Tofu asked the nearest person.
"Some kid no older than sixteen got hit by a car when he saved the life of little boy who ran out into the middle of the street." The salary man in the plain blue suit explained.
Upon hearing that there was a hurt teenager in the middle of the street Dr. Tofu began pushing his way through the crowd of people so he could see if there was anything he could do to help him. The moment the spectacled chiropractor finally broke through the crowd he received the shock of his life. There lying in the middle of the street not moving or even making a single sound was a person he knew all too well, Ranma Saotome. He had last seen Ranma that morning when he stopped by to borrow some hot water from him. Rushing to check on one of his regular patients Dr. Tofu was stopped by the officer overseeing the accident scene.
"Excuse me sir but you're going to have to step back. This is an official accident investigation scene. We don't want the body being touched before the emergency medical personnel arrive." The police officer said to the local doctor.
"But I happen to be a doctor in this area and that young man is a patient of mine. The ambulance might not be able to reach the scene in time. If I can just examine him and see what needs to be done before the EMTs arrive." Dr. Tofu argued frantically.
"Alright you can check out the young man and the boy but don't move the body." The officer replied as he allowed Tofu to see Ranma's body.
Dr. Tofu knelt down and took a look at Ranma's limp body. It may not have looked it but there were extensive internal injuries to a lot of organs and the internal bleeding was rapidly killing the pigtailed martial artist right before his eyes. Not wanting to risk touching Ranma's neck Dr. Tofu took his wrist into his hand and tried to feel for a pulse. By the time he came to the horrifying conclusion that Ranma had no pulse the ambulance had arrived on the scene. Within a matter of mere minutes the emergency personnel were checking on the little boy and hovering over Ranma's dead body.
"Excuse me sir mind telling me who you are?" the EMT next to Ranma's body wanted to know.
"Dr. Tofu Ono I run a clinic in the area. Ranma here is a patient of mine and I have the suspicion that I'm going to have to be the barer of bad news to his family and friends." Tofu told them.
The EMT gave Ranma a slightly more thorough examination before turning to his partner and Dr. Tofu. The look on the face of the EMT was one Dr. Tofu knew all too well and didn't like seeing on any medical personnel even himself. Hanging his head low Dr. Tofu listened as the EMT and his partner shared their diagnosis with each other.
"The boy is going to be just fine. All he seems to have are bunch of cuts and bruises. That young man got to him just in time." The second EMT reported.
"That young man wasn't so lucky. Looks like we're going to have to file him DOA. My guess is he had some major internal bleeding due to the blunt trauma he received from the accident." The first EMT told his partner and Dr. Tofu.
Slowly standing up like a zombie Dr. Tofu watched as the EMTs loaded Ranma's body onto a stretcher so they could take it to the hospital to wait for his father to claim it. As the doors to the ambulance closed a single solitary tear fell down Tofu's face and for the first time in his life Dr. Tofu's glasses fogged up without being near Kasumi Tendo. Ranma Saotome was dead.
********
Ranma the Spirit Detective
Episode One: Ranma's Dead!
********
Ranma Saotome stood on the sidewalk watching the people silently walk by returning to the business of living their lives. Amongst the crowd of people the aquatransexual martial artist noticed the familiar form of Dr. Tofu Ono heading right for him. With a smile on his face and feeling slightly better Ranma prepared to greet the neighborhood chiropractor.
"Hey Doc!" Ranma called out with a wave of his hand.
Ranma's greeting seemed to go unnoticed as Dr. Tofu walked right past Ranma without even acknowledging the younger man was there. Frustrated Ranma ran up to Tofu and went to place his hand upon the chiropractor's shoulder. But the moment he attempted to touch the older man Ranma's hand went right through the body of the local doctor.
"What the…?" Ranma wondered aloud quite confused.
Ranma decided to try and get Tofu's attention once more and yelled at the doctor as loud as he could. Even if the chiropractor didn't hear him the pigtailed martial artist figured someone would be able to hear him screaming as loud as he could.
"TOFU ARE YOU DEAF OR SOMETHING ANSWER ME!" Ranma screamed very loudly.
Once again Dr. Tofu didn't hear a word Ranma had said. In fact, no one along the sidewalk had heard what Ranma had said. Catching up with Dr. Tofu Ranma saw the look on the face of the chiropractor for the first time. The young doctor's face was quite tearstained and his head was hung low but what got Ranma's attention was the fact that his glasses were fogged up, he wasn't babbling or making mistakes, and Kasumi Tendo was nowhere to be seen. It was at that point when Ranma remembered the little boy in the middle of the street.
"It started out like any other crazy mixed up day in my life." Ranma said quietly.
********
Ranma was not in a good mood that morning. Already once that day his curse had been activated when his father, Genma, had decided to wake his son by throwing him from the second story window of the Tendo house to the koi pond below the guest room they shared. And after their usual morning workout and a quick soak in the furo Ranma was ready for breakfast.
Breakfast at the Tendo household was its usual morning zoo with Ranma and his father fighting over every bite of food they wanted to eat.
"Hah! Too slow Ouyaji!" Ranma cried out in triumph as he beat Genma to one of the sushi rolls.
At the same time Nabiki finished her breakfast and got up from the table to get her briefcase, school notebooks, and account ledgers. She then headed off for Furinkan High.
"See you later Kasumi, dad." Nabiki called out as she exited through the front door.
"Ranma get your butt in gear it's time to get to school before we're late." Akane said as she got up from the table.
Ranma let out a small eep before rushing to get his case and head out the door after Akane. The tomboy was already well on her way to school and tried to ignore the aquatransexual martial artist as he ran across the top of the fence that ran alongside the paved drainage gully. As he continued along the top of the fence it wasn't long before he came upon the end of the fence and the home of certain old woman who always had a habit of cleansing her doorway at the exact moment Ranma walked by. This morning was no different. The little old woman somehow knew Ranma was coming and whipped her ladle hard. Half of the cold water was spread across the threshold of her home and the other half hit Ranma directly in the face. The result was a now soaking and frustrated female martial artist.
"Ugh! How in the world does that woman know when I'm coming! Every morning it's the exact same thing!" Ranma-chan yelled.
"Well you can get your own hot water from Dr. Tofu. I'm not going to be late to school. I don't want to get on Principal Kuno's or Miss Hinako's bad side." Akane called back to her.
"Fine go and do what you want. I'll see you at school." She told Akane.
With Akane ran off towards Furinkan High while Ranma ran for the small clinic of the local chiropractor Dr. Tofu. Reaching the small building she had spent many hours in Ranma-chan knocked on the front door of the clinic. And instead of the receptionist answering the door Dr. Tofu himself answered the door with his usual smile on his face.
"Good morning Ranma. You need some hot water again?" he said before Ranma had a chance to.
"Yeah Doc I do." She replied.
Dr. Tofu turned and went back inside the clinic only to emerge a few minutes later with a cup of hot water. It was a good thing he decided to upgrade to the water cooler with the hot tap after Ranma had shown up in Nerima. It saved both Ranma and him a lot of time in the morning. Ranma poured the mug of hot water over her head and felt the familiar tingle run through her body. Within no time Ranma was back to her normal size and gender.
"Thanks a lot Doc." Ranma said as he handed Tofu the mug back.
Holding the mug in his hand Tofu watched as Ranma ran off in the direction of Furinkan High School. Sure he could have headed back in the direction he came from and continue to run along the gully but there was another route to the school from his clinic that Ranma had figured out quite some time ago. It allowed for the pigtailed martial artist to get to the school on time each morning. What happened along the way there was Ranma's business and not his.
As Ranma continued along his way to school that morning he noticed a five year old boy with dark hair and big green eyes dressed in a green button shirt and blue shorts and matching ball cap playing with a large red playground styled ball just outside a small apartment house. The boy was bouncing the ball on the sidewalk dangerously close to the curb and the street. Not wanting to see the kid hurt himself Ranma stopped to sternly warn the kid.
"Hey kid you shouldn't be playing with your ball so close to the street." Ranma told the little boy.
Ranma then heard a female voice calling out and saw the little boy head back to the small apartment house. With the child out of harm's way for the time being Ranma crossed the street with the light and continued on his way to Furinkan High.
Ranma had thought all his problems were over for the day when he finally reached Furinkan High. Taking the alternate route had saved Ranma some time and he could relax before heading into the building and facing the loony principal and his Ki depraved teacher. Sighing in relief that no one was waiting to ambush him the moment he stepped onto school grounds Ranma watched as Nabiki made her usual rounds of the student body. But it wasn't long before Ranma heard the usual sounds of fighting between Kuno and Akane ringing through the schoolyard.
"Kuno I told you I don't want to date you!" Akane yelled.
Letting out a frustrated sigh Ranma went to see what he could do to help Akane out. When he arrived on the scene Ranma saw Akane dodging Kuno's advances. Knowing that if she kept up her fight with Kuno Akane would be late for class Ranma did the only thing he knew how to do in a situation such as this one, he butt in.
"Hey tomboy what are ya doing wasting you time with this baka?" Ranma asked in typical open mouth insert foot her fashion.
"Ranma Saotome you dare to insult the righteous and beauteous Akane Tendo! Then have at it knave!" Kuno yelled in his weird samurai on Shakespeare manner.
"Not today Kuno!" Ranma yelled back as leapt into the air and landed a foot to Kuno's head.
Akane looked over at Ranma seething with anger. Her face was as red as a tomato and if one were to look close enough they would almost be able to make out the steam coming from her ears.
"Ranma you big baka I had everything under control until you had to stick your big fat nose into my business! You've been doing it since day one! Why can't you just leave me alone?" Akane yelled.
"I thought I was saving you from having to deal with being late to class! But you can't seem to see when someone is trying to be nice to you!" Ranma yelled back.
"Look baka I don't have to take any of this." Akane snorted just before heading to the main building of the school.
With a small frustrated growl Ranma headed into the building and into the classroom a mere moment too late.
"Mr. Saotome you're late! You get out in the hall now young man!" Hinako yelled.
With that Ranma turned right around, picked up the buckets of water, and headed for the hallway.
********
If the morning wasn't frustrating enough for Ranma lunchtime just added to his problems. The moment Ranma reached the schoolyard all hell seemed to break loose at Furinkan High. Almost immediately Ukyo ran over to Ranma, takeout box in hand, and wrapped her arms around his neck sticking the box under his nose. Ranma stiffened right up when he felt her arms go around his neck.
"Hey Ranchan I made a special lunch for you today. It's my special chicken okonomiyaki with that sauce you like so much." Ukyo said into Ranma's ear.
Before Ranma even got the chance to reply to Ukyo the sound of a bicycle bell announced the arrival of a certain Amazon warrior. Ranma's face began to pale as a bicycle bounced off his head and then Ukyo's. At the same time Akane walked onto the scene with Nabiki close behind.
"Nihao Arien! Shampoo bring special lunch. You eat take Shampoo on date yes." Shampoo said.
Ukyo saw Shampoo standing next to her bike with a large box of ramen in her hands and a huge grin plastered on her face. The okonomiyaki chef let go of Ranma's neck and placed the box she had in his hands. Reaching behind her back Ukyo pulled out her large battle spatula and held it in a ready position.
"Listen sister I was here first and Ranchan is going to eat my lunch not some noodle swill laced with who knows what!" Ukyo yelled loud enough for the entire school to hear.
"Crazy Spatula Girl not know what she talk about! Arien eat my lunch not your lunch!" Shampoo replied just as loud.
"Give it rest girl Ranchan doesn't even like you!" Ukyo screamed.
As the two martial artists continued their war of words Nabiki leaned over to Akane and whispered something into her ear.
"Two to one odds say Ukyo will beat Shampoo. She's armed and Shampoo isn't." Nabiki said.
"They can tear each other apart for all I care. I'm getting sick of all this fighting and arguing over Ranma. I'm getting sick of everything. Why can't they just leave us all alone for once in our lives?" Akane snapped.
"Whoa." Nabiki commented wondering what had her little sister so worked up.
Ranma watched as Shampoo and Ukyo continued their verbal fight. The arguing pair was getting on Ranma's nerves. Sure they fought and argued with each other all the time but this time it was too much. This time Ranma wished that they would just go away and leave him alone.
"Ugh! Would you two just stop it! I don't want to eat any of your lunches! Just go away and leave me alone!" Ranma screamed in total frustration.
Akane saw that Ranma was close to the boiling point and went over to see what was wrong. And maybe in the process she could try and get Ranma to eat the bento she had packed for him.
"Ranma calm down. This isn't going to get you anywhere. Now why don't we go sit under that tree there and have some lunch. I made you a bento this morning." Akane said.
Still angry over Shampoo and Ukyo arguing over him and the last time Akane attempted to make him a meal which had still yet to be identified by local labs and left Ranma's stomach in a world of pain for an entire weekend.
"Oh no. There is no way you are going to get me to eat that radioactive slime. You know how much pain I was in the last time you cooked for me. I am not going through that again." Ranma told her.
From her vantage point Nabiki watched as Akane at first appeared to get ready to pull out her hammer and ram it into Ranma's head. Instead she got real close to Ranma's face and gave him her response to his comments about her cooking.
"Listen you big muscle brained baka you can go take a long walk off a short pier into Tokyo Bay for all I care. Now leave Ranma because I don't want to talk to you for the rest of the day." Akane hissed.
Angry and mad Ranma left the area only to be stopped by Kuno who, like Nabiki, had seen the entire situation play itself out. The kendoist pointed his boken at Ranma and went into his usual poetry filled routine.
"Halt you vile sorcerer! I will not you allow you to bring dishonor to the fair and beauteous Akane Tendo. You will pay for your actions fiend!" Kuno said.
"Jeez Kuno can't you ever give it a rest!" Ranma snapped back just before he landed a fist to the kendoist's face.
With another minor Kuno threat taken care of Ranma was about to make his way to the roof of the school to wait out the rest of the lunch period when he heard the all too familiar battle cry of one Ryouga Hibiki ring throughout the schoolyard. It had been at least a week since the last time Ryouga had tried to take on Ranma and failed.
"Prepare to die Saotome!" Ryouga cried out as he tried to ram his umbrella into Ranma.
Ranma dodged the umbrella and took a defensive stance. Angry, tired, and frustrated Ranma didn't even wait for Ryouga to go into his whole I've seen hell because of you speech before trying to attack him yet again. This time Ranma decided to end things a little early.
"Listen Ryouga I'm not in the mood today. So you can just buzz off." Ranma said right before pounding Ryouga to the ground in an identical manner to the way he dealt with Kuno.
Seething with anger and frustration Ranma decided to grab his bag from his cubicle and head for home. There was no reason for him to stick around when he was in his current mood. And as he left the schoolyard Ranma failed to notice two people watching him from within the school, Miss Hinako and the lei wearing Principal Kuno.
"That boy is nothing more than a trouble maker and must be made an example of." The child like teacher said to the principal.
"Saotome has gone too far this time. The next time I see him with that gaijin wahine he will be expelled from this school for good right after I shave his head clean US military style." Principal Kuno added with an evil sneer.
********
Ranma needed someone to talk to and he didn't really want to head back to the Tendo Dojo just yet. His mother had recently entered back into his life and she had yet to find out about his curse. Every time word got out that she was going to come by to the house for a visit his father insisted he play the role of Ranko Tendo Soun's niece while he play her innocent yet extremely talented pet panda.
It wasn't bad enough that he had to lie to his mother what was even worse was that his mother had backwards ideas about how a young lady should act in this day and age. She kept trying to get Ranma to put on a dress and the female Furinkan High uniform every time she visited. Ranma complied with her wishes once and put on one of Akane's Capri pants and sweater set outfits looking real cute in his mother's eyes while they spent some quality girl time with Akane and Nabiki.
Now ever since the day Nodoka was first introduced to Ranko Tendo she would drop by unannounced while Ranma was conveniently in the garden with Genma. Nabiki would warn the duo by announcing her arrival really loud so they could hear her. Genma would then toss Ranma into the koi pond and tell her to not call him pop or old man in front of her mother. He would go on about family honor and pride being at stake as well as his head just before taking the plunge himself. It was embarrassing but as long as his mother was happy that was all he cared about.
With the threat of his mother showing up at any moment hanging over his head Ranma knew the only other place he could go to talk with someone who understood him was Dr. Tofu's clinic. Tofu had become a close friend just like Kasumi and Ranma felt as though he could tell the chiropractor anything. Tofu wasn't just his chiropractor he had unknowingly become his psychiatrist as well. When Ranma couldn't talk to Kasumi for one reason or another he always knew he could talk to Dr. Tofu about anything.
Armed with a destination in mind Ranma began to retrace the steps he had taken that morning. The events of the day began playing themselves out in his mind. No one would leave him alone. He was sick and tired of feeling as though he was just a prize to be won. Ranma was tired of all the challenges and the underhanded attempts to get him to marry one of his fiancés. He was sick of Happosai treating him like a piece of cheap meat in his cursed form and Cologne treating him like he was a walking sperm bank.
As he continued on his way down the street Ranma didn't pay too much attention to the people around him. The only thing on his mind was getting to Dr. Tofu's clinic. But that didn't mean Ranma wasn't fully aware of his surroundings. Coming to a street corner Ranma noticed the don't walk hand was lit on the other side of the street and waited for the light to change. As he did Ranma had the unnerving feeling something bad was going to happen. Looking up briefly Ranma saw the little boy from that morning playing with his red playground ball again. Shrugging off the odd coincidence of the situation Ranma went back to trying to figure out just why he was put on the Earth.
That's when it happened. The little boy was kicking his ball and it rolled out into the middle of the street. Wanting to get his ball back and not really remembering that it wasn't such a smart idea to run out into the middle of the street the boy ran after the ball.
"Come back here ball." The little boy called out after his ball as he ran into the street.
The boy's mother saw her son run out into the street and then saw the red sports car barreling towards him. Frozen with fear the woman did the only thing she knew how to do, she screamed.
The boy, the ball, the car, and the scream were enough to get Ranma's full attention. Looking up he saw the little boy in the middle of the street with a red sports car heading straight for him. Ranma let his instincts take over and ran out into the street pushing the little boy out of the way of the car. Trying to get onto his feet Ranma looked up and saw the car had yet to stop. And then in one instant Ranma Saotome officially became street pizza.
********
Ranma watched as his body was hit by the car and the events that followed. He saw police officer and Dr. Tofu arrive on the scene. He watched as Tofu checked for his pulse and become ashen when he couldn't find it. He then saw the EMTs arrive and confirm Dr. Tofu's findings and make certain the boy was okay. And finally Ranma watched as they put his body into the back of the ambulance and hauled it off to the hospital for his father to claim.
"I really am dead." Ranma said still not believing what had happened to him.
"Oh you're dead all right. You just weren't meant to die this early. There was a clerical error." A feminine voice replied from behind him.
Turning around Ranma saw a beautiful young woman with striking pink eyes and light blue hair in a high ponytail dressed in a pink kimono with a white sash, red trim, and a blue silk rope tie around the waist. The young woman was riding on what appeared to be a simple wooden boat oar.
"What do ya mean there was a clerical error and just who the heck are you?" Ranma asked her quite frustrated over the entire situation.
"My name is Botan and I'm what you might call a spirit guide. I take departed spirits to meet with King Enma." Botan explained, "As for the error you just weren't supposed to die yet. However, I was sent to give you an offer you can't refuse."
Ranma was a bit curious as to what Botan's offer might be.
"Okay you've peaked my interest. What's this offer you have for me?" Ranma wanted to know.
"Simple you've been given the chance to live again. That is if you accept the offer." Botan said.
Ranma took no time to even think about what Botan had to offer him.
"No way lady the world is better off without me around. The Amazons can return to China with their honor in tact, Ukyo and her father have been avenged, Ryouga can finally rest easy, the Tendos can finally live in piece for once, and my father doesn't have to worry about people coming to demand things from us." Ranma told her.
Botan wasn't about to let Ranma give up on himself that quickly. Not until he saw how his dying affected all the people he knew.
"Listen Ranma you may think the world is against you but you won't know that until you see the people you know one last time." Botan said.
"Fine I'll go with you if it'll make ya happy." Ranma griped.
With that Botan grabbed Ranma by the wrist and placed his hand in the base of the oar. Ranma held onto the oar and soon the pair was soaring high above Nerima heading for the Tendo Dojo.
********
Ranma's instincts were correct. His mother had shown up looking for Ranko and instead found Dr. Tofu consoling Soun and Genma. Of course Nodoka had to wonder where Ranko and her panda had gotten to and why only Genma was home at the time. It took a while but Dr. Tofu and Genma explained what had happened that day and that Ranma and Ranko were one in the same. Genma had to show his curse to his wife several times before it finally sunk in that she would never be able to see her son again. And after what seemed like ten solid minutes of crying Nodoka turned to face her husband who had a worried look upon his face.
"I guess you'll want to honor the contract now." Genma said solemnly.
"No." Nodoka answered surprising the older martial artist.
"Why?" Genma wanted to know.
"Because despite what had happened to my son over the past ten years he was still quite manly. And saving the life of that little boy proved it. There is no need to take your life as well." She explained.
"Nodoka you have my sympathies over the loss of your son." Soun finally said.
"You have mine as well Saotome-san." Dr. Tofu added.
When the Tendo daughters returned home from school and their respective errands they were given the same news as their father and the Saotomes. Kasumi, like Nodoka, had spent some time crying her eyes out while Nabiki slowly went upstairs and began sifting through her photos of the male Ranma for a picture worthy of his wake. Akane just sat on the couch in stunned silence. Ten minutes later when Ryouga showed up to both challenge Ranma and announce he wanted to give going to school a try once more the whole scene was repeated once more with Ryouga ending up like Akane on the couch.
It had taken awhile to gather the rest of the Nerima Wrecking Crew but Dr. Tofu took it upon himself to do so. The Tendo Dojo was soon crawling with the likes of the Amazons, Happosai, Ukyo, Ryouga, and Ranma's mother. There was much crying and much talk and soon plans were being made for a wake service in the dojo.
By the time Botan had shown up at the dojo with Ranma the wake was well underway. Ranma was quite surprised to see the kind of turnout his wake had received. Not only did his mother show up but Dr. Tofu, Ukyo, Shampoo, Mousse, Cologne, Happosai, and Ryouga had come to the wake as well. Checking out the crowd Ranma noticed the little boy and his mother had come to the wake as well. Somehow Dr. Tofu had found out who they were and asked them to come. Ranma's body was placed inside a beautiful casket made of oak that was lined with white satin. Ranma was dressed in his red formal Chinese shirt with the dragon design and his formal black Chinese pants and slippers. The wake was being officiated by the surprisingly calm and collected Dr. Tofu.
"Wow he actually got everyone to sit together in the same room with each other." Ranma commented after seeing the mourners.
"Just listen and watch what happens. Then maybe when this over with you'll actually think about my offer to return to your body." Botan told him.
"I'd like to thank all of you for coming to the wake for Ranma Saotome. Ranma died living out the code of the martial artist help those who are weaker than you. As you all know by now Ranma died saving the life of a little boy getting hit by the car that could have killed that boy. He's here today thanks to Ranma." Tofu said getting the wake started.
Ranma watched as his family and friends got up and prepared to pay their last respects. Botan knew this would be the time when their true feelings for Ranma would be revealed. If this didn't convince him to return to his body then she didn't know what would. The first person to stop at the casket was the mother of the little boy with her son close behind her.
"Thank you young man for saving the life of my little Taro. The world needs more people like you." The mother sobbed.
Little Taro then took his turn at the casket.
"Thank you Mister Ranma for saving me from the car. I'm sorry it had to hit you." Taro said.
The words of little Taro and his mother left no dry eye in the room. If someone wasn't crying before Taro and his mom spoke they were crying by the time they finished. Even Botan began to cry when she heard mother and son speak at the casket.
"Are you crying?" Ranma asked Botan.
"No I just got some dust in my eyes." Botan replied denying the obvious truth.
The wake continued and Dr. Tofu started off the line of Nerima Wrecking Crew members and Ranma's family.
"Ranma I always enjoyed it whenever you stopped by my office. I'm going to miss our little talks we've been having lately and I'm going to miss you too." Tofu said as his glasses fogged up.
Behind Dr. Tofu the Amazons took their turn starting with Mousse.
"Oh yeah like he has anything nice to say about me." Ranma said sarcastically.
"Quiet you and listen." Botan scolded.
"Saotome I may not have said it to you in person but I admired you. You had a lot of guts and a lot skill. I was actually jealous of you because Cologne chose to share ancient Amazon fighting techniques with you instead of me. She was right though there was something great about you. I just wish it didn't have to end this way." Mousse said fighting back the tears.
After Mousse had said his piece he stepped aside and let Shampoo the first of the fiancés have her time with Ranma's body.
"Why Arien have to die? Why car have to have to hit Ranma? Shampoo miss Ranma very much. Shampoo wish Ranma not dead. Shampoo sorry she trick Ranma." Shampoo sobbed.
As Shampoo continued to cry her eyes out Cologne pogoed over to her great-granddaughter and placed a hand on the girl's shoulder. After a few moments more of crying Shampoo gave Cologne her time with the body.
"Son-in-law, son-in-law, son-in-law you were a brave man Ranma Saotome and I speak for all the Amazons when I say the world is a better place because of you. You deserve a place of honor among the great Amazon warriors of the past. You, Ranma Saotome, are a true hero and I admire you very much. I'm going to miss having you in my life son-in-law." Cologne told Ranma's body.
Ranma was quite surprised to hear the Amazons speak so highly of him. Surely he thought they would be rejoicing that Ranma was dead, at least he thought Mousse would.
"Wow I didn't realize they thought about me that way." Ranma commented still surprised.
"You haven't heard anything yet." Botan said.
The parade of mourners continued when Soun decided to take his turn at visiting Ranma's body. As usual the Tendo patriarch had turned on the never ending waterfall of tears, only this time they were tears of pure grief.
"Ranma you were like a son to me. And I couldn't wait until the day you became a member of my family. Now the dream of uniting the schools will never happen. But that's not what's important. What's important is that you helped me to live life again. You gave me something to believe in again. And I thank you for that." Soun sobbed loudly.
The next member of the Tendo family to step up to the casket was Nabiki. Ranma was quite certain she wouldn't have a kind work for him.
"Well this should be interesting." He commented sarcastically.
"Just watch and see what she really thinks about you." Botan told him.
"Ranma you baka! Why did you have to let that car hit you? Why? I may not have said it to you but you were more than just a way to make money you were my friend. I'm going to miss you." Nabiki said between heart wrenching sobs.
After Nabiki came the one person other than his mother and Dr. Tofu Ranma thought would have any kind words to say about him. Kasumi Tendo walked up to the casket and broke down crying.
"Oh Ranma, why did Kami allow for you to die that day? You were like a little brother to me and I waited for the day when you would become a member of the family with open arms. I don't know how I'm going live life without you around to be a part of it but I'll certainly try. You would want it that way. I'm going to miss you terribly." Kasumi cried.
"Oh Kasumi I didn't mean to do this to ya." Ranma whispered.
"She isn't the last one to be that way Ranma." Botan said as she put a hand on Ranma's shoulder.
Ranma thought Akane would be next but to his surprise the tiny withered old form of Happosai came next. Ranma wondered what good things the little pervert would have to say about him. If anything he would babble on about not having Ranma-chan's ample form to grope.
"Oh please like he has anything nice to say about the male me. And all he thinks about my female side is that I'm something to feel up." Ranma moaned.
"Like I said earlier just watch and see what he really thinks." Botan reminded him.
Ranma watched as the little old man hopped onto the stool Taro had used earlier and hung his head low shaking it in grief. When he finished shaking it Happosai lifted his head and said his piece to Ranma's body.
"Ranma you were one of the best martial artists I've ever encountered. I know I took advantage of your curse and I never said this but deep down I respected you. You Ranma were worthy to be the heir to the Anything Goes School of martial arts. You brought honor back to the school. I'll miss you." He said.
Ranma was too dumbfounded to make any comments about what Happosai had said at the casket. The pigtailed martial artist never thought the old man would have it in him to actually say anything nice about him at all. And as he watched the parade of mourners continue Ranma saw Ukyo step up to the casket next. The okonomiyaki chef placed her hands on the side of the casket and buried her face in them crying her eyes out. When she finished Ukyo raised her tear stained eyes to face Ranma's body.
"Ranma you were my first true friend. You liked my cooking even back then and you liked me. I'm sorry I tried to kill you and your father when I first came here. And I'm sorry I rammed that engagement down your throat. I never meant to complicate your life. If I could only have a second chance to make things up to you. But that's just silly talk because you're never coming back." Ukyo sobbed.
"Hopefully she can become friends with the others. She needs friends other than you Ranma." Botan commented after Ukyo took her turn.
"Ya know your right Ukyo does need more friends." Ranma replied.
Ukyo then left the casket and returned only a short moment later with Ryouga in tow. It was now the lost boy's turn to have his say over the body of the aquatransexual martial artist. Ukyo stepped aside and let Ryouga have his say.
"You know Ranma you were one of the best. Sure I blamed you for all my problems but that was taking the easy way out. Every single time we fought you challenged me to become a better martial artist without me knowing it. It was that way in junior high and it was that way when we met up again. Ranma I have something to tell you. I'm going back to school again and Akane and her family have offered to help me make it there every day. Somebody has to make certain Kuno and his goons don't take advantage of the situation because you know they will. I also told Akane about the curse. She actually took it quite well. Sure I had to show it to her but she didn't reject me. We're starting to become closer friends." Ryouga sniffed, "Listen Saotome why couldn't you stay alive for at least one more day. Who am I going to challenge to become a better martial artist? Tell me who."
When Ryouga was finished crying over Ranma's body Ukyo led him back to his seat and then took her own next to his. The pair then surprised Ranma by holding hands in order to comfort one another.
"Who'd have ever thought he could be such a nice guy. And I'm actually proud he found the guts to tell that tomboy about his curse and go back to school again." Ranma commented.
"See, if your dying can affect him like that then imagine what your being alive will do for him." Botan told him.
After a brief moment of silence Akane slowly made her way to the casket bawling her eyes out. The youngest Tendo looked tired and her eyes were bloodshot and tearstained. All in all she wasn't a pretty sight. Akane was taking this the hardest outside Ranma's family.
"Ranma why, why Ranma why did you have to go and die on me? Why did you have to leave me like that? I'm sorry I always called you a pervert and a baka and that I was always hitting you and kicking you. I just wish you didn't have to be dead Ranma. I just wish you could come back to me one more time so I can make everything all right." Akane sobbed.
It took a while and a little effort on her family's part but Kasumi, Nabiki and Soun were able to get Akane back to her seat in the dojo. Botan watched the scene play itself out and let a sad expression cross her face. She hated seeing people the way Ranma's family and friends were.
"I think she's taking this the hardest outside your family Ranma." Botan commented.
"I think you're right." Ranma replied.
Ranma then watched as his father walked up to the casket and stood there showing no emotion what so ever. Ranma could tell Genma had been hitting the bottle since the accident. And that he hadn't changed out of his clothes either. Genma looked worse than he did when they were on the road. The older martial artist wasn't the same man Ranma remembered he was back to the way he once was before meeting Nodoka. Genma Saotome was a walking sake bottle or as the westerners would say a rummie.
"Ranma my boy, you big baka, why did you have to mess up such a sure thing and go and do a stupid thing like getting yourself killed? Why did you have to be so damn noble and save that kid's life? Huh? Tell me Ranma why? Why can't your mother act the way she's supposed to and honor that damn contract? She won't take my pain away boy! She just won't do it and it's all your fault!" Genma slurred.
"My best friend reduced to a walking liquor cabinet." Soun sobbed as he brought Genma back to his seat with the others.
Finally it was Nodoka's turn to see the casket and pay her final respects. She out of all the mourners had been taking this the hardest. Unlike Genma Nodoka looked a lot like Akane did. Her hair was scraggly and her eyes were red and bloodshot. And like Akane she looked as though she had barely slept in days. But what was worse was that Nodoka looked as though she had barely eaten anything either. Bowing her head over the casket Nodoka let the tears fall freely from her face.
"Oh Ranma I'm so sorry I treated you like that. I'm so sorry I made you try and wear a dress. I just wish you could come back so I can get to know my manly son. Being manly isn't about how you look it's about how you act and you were truly a man when you saved that little boy's life. Oh why were taken from me before I even had the chance to know the real Ranma and not Ranko? I love you my manly son. I'll always love you." Nodoka sobbed.
Ranma couldn't help but cry over the way his death was affecting his mother. As the tears fell down his face Ranma began to think he was a bit hasty in his decision to not accept Botan's offer. Looking around the dojo Ranma could tell that his family and friends, yes they were his friends, needed him.
"See Ranma the world does need you in it. People do care about you even if they don't always show it on the outside." Botan said.
"I'm ready Botan. Let's go see what we can do about getting me my life back." Ranma told her soberly and with a newfound maturity.
********
Well there you have it the first installment of a crossover between Ranma ½ and Yu Yu Hakusho. In this story I'm attempting to see what would happen if Yusuke were replaced with Ranma. How would the worlds of Ranma and YYH be different if Ranma became a Reikai Tantei? That is something you'll have to see in upcoming episodes.
One thing to explain here I'm going to mix in some Hawaiian words as well as some surfer speak when Principal Kuno talks to anyone. Oh and as for where in the Ranma world I'm putting this story let's just say it's just after his mother shows up the first time. All events after that will be replaced with YYH. Now I haven't seen or read that part of the story so you'll have to bare with me and fill me in on what happened and what abilities both he and Ryouga have at that point in the story.
So now what's next for Ranma? Botan takes Ranma to Reikai to meet with the spirit in charge. Say hello to the most powerful toddler around Koenma the head of the Spirit offices and his lovely assistant George. What does Koenma have in mind for Ranma and why does it involve an egg? Find out in episode two of Ranma the Spirit Detective: The First Test: Save My Body.