The Pink Bunny Choir, a harry potter fanfic

Challenge 27: 03.17.02

It's fifth year at Hogwarts, and the Muggle Studies teacher has
decided to take his/her class on a field trip to a Muggle movie
theatre. And you know what that means -- havoc is about to be
wreaked on the world! Use as many or as few characters as you want.
Just make sure to incorporate the following:

*Somebody must be quoting things from Lockhart's books at all times
*Someone must wear sunglasses inside
*There must be a pink, fluffy bunny
*Someone must say, "Ani rotzah leeroat Uranus!" which is Hebrew
for "I want to see Uranus!"
*And it must be in txt format and funny. Remember, points for
originality!

The Pink Bunny Choir

A Trip to the Movies

Author's Note: Hey there fellow fanfiction readers and writers! I know I haven't released anything in, "The Madness Behind Potter," in awhile, but I was letting my reviews build up to make me feel special. More than just the special the doctor told me I am. But that's another story… So here's something to tide you over until the next chapter of "Madness" as I call it, comes out. I hope you enjoy the weirdness.

This if for Mandy, who wanted so badly for people to enter her contest. And to Rubi Granger who has given me the nicest feedback on every chapter of my other story.

Disclaimer: I was the one who came up with the idea for Harry Potter. Really. J.K. Rowling heard me talking in my sleep on a train in London and wrote it down. You can guess how surprised I was to read my idea in book form years later. Can you believe a person would take another's idea and not give them the slightest bit of credit. What's that? I'm doing that now? Heh…heh… What are you talking about?

~*~

"But you're not in Muggle Studies, how can you go on the field trip?" Ron Weasley was staring at Hermione Granger like she had two heads. For Hermione to go on a trip to the movie theatre instead of going to class was simply unthinkable. Yet here he was, hearing her say she was to go anyway. When the though finally struck him, he turned to his best friend, Harry Potter, and smiled. "Oh! I get it, I'm dreaming." However, before he could trip Colin Creevy, who was just scurrying by, Harry pulled him back.

"Ron," Harry hissed, "You are not dreaming, don't make a fool of yourself." Since the grip on his arm was rather realistic, Ron gave in to reality and blushed a deep crimson. Rolling her eyes Hermione continued to explain the situation to her friends.

"It's not like I'm missing anything important. I'm two weeks ahead in every subject. Besides, Madame Google requested my services in keeping all those new to muggle facilities in line."

Ron cocked his head and raised an eyebrow, "So Hermione, tell me, do you swallow textbooks whole, or do you prefer to chew them up first?" Harry snickered and Hermione glared.

"Just because my vocabulary is something you can't even hope for, you don't have to get snooty."

Uh oh. Harry thought, not another bickering match. Over the past few months Hermione and Ron had gotten more and more prone to fighting, probably trying to fight off what Harry believed to be a growing attraction. It was all he could do to hold back sighing and cooing, "My little babies are growing up." He didn't think they'd much appreciate that. But maybe if he said something to Fred or George they'd say it…

Noticing that Ron and Hermione were beginning to get somewhat loud Harry stepped in-between the two. "Guys, if you don't hurry we'll be late for potions, and I for one don't feel like putting up with the wrath of Snape." Any resistance to listen to their moderating friend flew out the window. With a swish of robes and a heaving of bags, the trio was running top speed, down towards the dungeons of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

~*~*----- (A wand denotes the end and start of a section)

The day of the trip finally arrived, bringing with it much excitement and chaos. The new Muggle Studies professor was an elderly witch who was more likely to hand out Chocolate Frogs than demerits. Somehow, what seemed like half the students of Hogwarts were going. Fred and George had somehow wheedled their way onto the trip by telling Madame Google a pitiful story about how it was their biggest dream to go to a real Muggle, "moovy," as they called it.

"Well, it's as Gilderoy Lockhart says, 'New experiences are full of surprises and unexpected events.'" She told them. It was all George could do to keep from mentioning the unexpected event of Gilderoy trying to put a memory charm on his brother.

Using a Portkey from the village of Hogsmeade, all the students departed safely from the village. Well, at least they thought they were safe until they found out Snape was acting as a chaperon. Ron's exact words when he spied the Potions Master are too colorful for this story, but let's just say he was surprised. Madame Google remained oblivious to any hostility felt between her colleague and students. In fact, she thought Snape was just, "hostile towards an environment that does not always appreciate the unique." Well, at least that's what Lockhart's books would describe him as. Harry could only wonder why anyone would make Lockhart feel hostility.

Hermione was taking her roll as "student coordinator," very seriously. When Lee Jordan tried to cover the Portkey with his body (leaving a very good size of the students behind) she grabbed him by the collar and dropped him off by Harry and Ron.

"Hi there Harry!" He croaked, rubbing his neck where his shirt collar had dug into it.

"Hello Lee, how's everything?" Harry asked his ground-stricken friend.

"Good, I suppose. At least this whole Muggle-Studies thing is worth it. Mum made me take the course when I set some Muggle's mailbox on fire." Harry decided not to ask. "Why are you taking this course Harry? I though you lived with Muggles."

"I do, but I needed an extra course, and this one seemed to be the easiest on the schedule. Besides," He pointed towards Ron, "This git needs all the help he can get when it comes to 'electryoticitics.'"

Ron glared, "How was I supposed to know that you don't heat mettle in the toaster?!?"

Lee nodded his head and looked towards Harry, "I found that out the hard way." Again, Harry did not ask.

Finally the students were asked to line up and take hold of their designated portkey. In less than fifteen minutes they were on their way to a small town in Scotland. As they were all whisked from the ground, Madame Google's message rang out, "Remember what Lockhart always says, 'A good portkey is the key to discovery!'"

Redundant, Harry mused, Just like Lockhart.

*~*~-----

The large group of de-robed students was dropped in a grassy meadow outside of the village in which the theatre was located. Harry was happy to note that Draco Malfoy was among the students to land on their… well let's just keep this story PG and say on his rear-end.

Why, dear readers, did I not mention that Mr. Malfoy was among the students on this trip? Because he is not in Muggle Studies. However, his father convinced Madame Google that Draco needed the experience, and you all know how Madame Google feels about experience. Maybe that's why most of the students on this trip were not in Muggle Studies.

Anyway, where were we? Oh yes, Draco landed on his…er…backside and all the students were getting ready to go to the village. Hermione was among the first on the nearby path, hoarding the students in the right direction.

"Is it just me, or do you feel like sheep?" Fred remarked to Lee.

"Fred, don't over-exaggerate. I feel more like cattle."

Draco's voice stood out among the others, "Are we almost there yet. My feet are killing me! If my father knew how far we had to walk—"

"He'd tell you to go shove it?"

"—He'd tell me to go sho- HEY!"

The offender (who was a certain Ravenclaw sixth year) just blended into the crowd. "I wish we knew who said that!" Ron commented.

"Yeah, then we could join ranks."

Finally, a tall building stood out among the tiny village shops. "Students!" Madame Google called, "As Gilderoy Lockhart always says, 'Be aware of your surroundings and make sure you look good!'" And with that she put on a pair of bright pink sunglasses that were accompanied by little rhinestones on the edges. Although the students had forsaken robes to blend in, Madame Google seemed to be doing a splendid job in standing out. By now a small crowd had gathered around the eccentric little witch and the adolescents surrounding her.

"Good grief." Ron was hiding behind Harry, "Why can't we just have a normal teacher for once?"

Harry shrugged, "Fate I suppose."

A snide voice caught the attention of those who had not been enraptured by Madame Google's speech. "Students of Hogwarts, we will give your tickets to the attendants, please enter the theatre and be seated." Snape looked a sight in his black slacks and turtleneck. Many students were having a hard time deciding whether to laugh or cry, so muffled guwaffs were not uncommon. However, the glare Snape's face held was enough of an usher, the students practically ran into the large room.

"WHOA!" Lee Jordan was staring; mouth agape, at the large movie screen. "Think of all the quidditch you could watch on that!"

"Yeah…" George was looking at the screen like it was a lost wonder. Just then the previews started and sound blasted from the speakers.

"OH MY GOD!!! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!" Neville Longbottom, who was also in the class, was trying to fit his pudgy body under his seat, a valiant, yet futile effort.

"Neville, calm down. It's like Lockhart always says, 'Fear is not to great for a man like Lockhart'…er…of course you're not Lockhart, but still you must be brave!" Madame Google was trying to pull Neville out, however she was too small for the larger boy. Luckily, Professor Dumbledore had managed to keep the theatre reserved for the field trip, or else many would have been shocked by the fact that a man with greasy hair was gripping his wand so hard sparks were emitting.

"I knew this was a bad idea," He hissed to himself. A look of utter disgust crossed his face as a commercial for a children's movie was shown. The narrator was speaking in a soft, happy voice, which seemed to annoy Snape a tiny bit.

A bunch of tiny squirrels ran across the screen, singing the previews' theme song. "The big fuzzy bunny, he's a friend to everyone. When you meet him, you'll have lots of fun. He's big, he's pink, heeeeeee's the fuzzy, fuzzy, FUZZY, bunny!"

Nobody could be sure, but Harry swore he saw Snape whisper, "Die." However, that was when the movie started, and a hush came over the audience. It was not long before animated animals were littering the screen, and a story began to unfold. The title flashed before them, "The Lion King."

Soon the whole audience was spellbound as the animals began to talk and sing. "Whoa." Ron gasped in awe as Simba was held out over the edge of a big rock, "That little lion is so cute!"

"Give me a break Ron, it's just a cartoon!" Hermione said harshly. Little did she know that by the end of the movie she'd be in tears. (AN: It's the Lion King, you have to cry a little!) However, as to keep the story condensed, only a few comments that were heard from the mouths of different individuals will be released:

Ron: "That mean lion looks like Snape, is hair is all greasy and— Why hello there Professor Snape…"

Hermione: (Crying into Ron's shoulder) "Why can't Muffasa come back! I could have prevented that fall if he'd just let me perform a levitating spell!"

Harry: "He really eats bugs."

Draco: "If my father ever took over a heard of lions, he wouldn't let a runt like this Simba character take it over."

Fred: "Shove it, Malfoy."

George: "Oh look Fred! It's the piggish thing that was singing before!"

Fred: (singing) "Akuna Matata…what a wonderful phrase!"

Snape: "Die…"

Madame Google: "Professor Lockhart went to the jungle once…"

Neville: "I bet if Simba dressed Scar in a vulture hat, he wouldn't be so scared— Why hello Professor Snape…"

And that concludes the comments board.

When the movie ended the large group left to walk towards the meadow in which they had come. Fred Weasley was singing a duet with George, "I Just Can't Wait to be King," a song from the movie. Hermione was still teary eyed, and Ron was taking the opportunity to "comfort" her. Or at least that's what he told Harry later when he commented on his arm being around her shoulder. Harry simply enjoyed the musical performance being given by the twins, not to mention the look of murder on Snape's face.

"It's like Lockhart always says," Began Madame Google, " 'Ani rotzah leeroat Uranus!' "

"But Professor, that means, 'I want to see Uranus.'" Commented a chestnut haired Hufflepuff. "I actually speak Hebrew, so I should know."

Madame Google nodded, "Yes, so does Lockhart, he said that in, 'Large Planets and Where to Find Them.'"

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

And that concludes this story. I hope you all can sleep tonight. If somebody out there actually hasn't seen the Lion King, here's a little summary.

Good Lion King- Muffasa

His son- Simba

His brother (evil)- Scar

Scar kills Muffasa and convinces little Simba it's his fault, causing him to run away, but in true Disney style he takes over the pack again at the end after finishing off Scar.

Thank you, and come again. And go check out my other stuff too! Toodles!