Author's Note: Before I commence with the angst and confusion, I would like to take a minute to thank Iz, Saturniia, and Dana. You three have been the greatest reviewers ever…I went through Smoke and what we have of Snow so far, and all of you have reviewed more than anyone else. It's really great to know that we have such avid readers, and thank you so much for your feedback. Star and I really love it.

Oh yeah, that, and I forgot to add in Chapter 5 that Guy's going to be a slightly bigger character from now on, and will have some chapters from his POV.

Chapter 8: Break The Ice

By Victory Thru Tears

Charlie's POV

I'm kind of disappointed that Mom couldn't pick me up from the bus station. Eden Hall's not far away from Minneapolis at all, and it was a short ride…but the walk home is a little cold. And lonely, definitely lonely. I can't shake off the feeling that something's going to happen this weekend. I wish Adam and I could have found a way to spend it together.

It's Wednesday night. Mom and I are going to order Chinese food, just like we always do the night before Thanksgiving. Then on Thursday Mom complains about all of the leftovers in the fridge from both days. I think I should have come home sooner, but I didn't want to leave my fellow queers, I guess. Even if the Ducks make life hell for us, it's nice to be part of a compact group like the Queertet.

I don't know why I keep calling us that. It is not supposed to be a nice nickname. But we've all gotten used to it by now.

This weekend is going to be hell. We'd reached the decision that we're all going to come out this holiday. We're all sick of pretending.

I don't know how Mom is going to react. Honestly, I think she already knows, but that isn't going to make it any easier for the words "Mom, I'm gay" to come out of my mouth.

I shuffle through my pockets for my keys as I stand outside of the apartment door. The heat feels good, especially on my cold ears. Late November in Minnesota isn't pleasant.

I open the door to find my mother sitting on the couch, a big smile on her face. She gets up as I walk through the door.

"Welcome home sweetie." She kisses me on the cheek. "I'm so sorry that I couldn't pick you up…I just got a little bit tied up."

"It's ok, Mom."

I really don't mind. If anything, I think its better. Gas isn't cheap, and now that she's on her own again, it's good that she saves every penny that she can.

She divorced Justin at the beginning of the year. That was the best day of my life, even better than any moment I've shared with Adam. It's not that Justin is a jerk; it's just that…he and Mom didn't fit together. Maybe I only think that because I wish she hadn't broken up with Coach Bombay. I don't know what happened with the two of them, and I know that it's not my business. That doesn't stop my curiosity, though. I'll probably try to find out when I'm a little older.

"Did you order the food yet?" I ask, setting my bag down in the living room.

"Pick that up and take it to your bedroom." Ugh, already reverting into typical Mom mode. "Yes. General Tso's chicken and pork fried rice?"

I grin as I pick up my bag. "Always."

I haven't been in my room for awhile. I hadn't come back home on weekends lately because of games. I look around the walls, which basically hold my life. Pictures of the Ducks are everywhere, even dating back to when we were District 5.

I always stop and think to myself- what would Jesse say about what's going on with the Ducks now? I should give him a call, I know he's still in town. He didn't go to Eden Hall because he didn't want to be 'stuck with a bunch of Cake-eaters.' Adam was a little hurt at that, but he got over it quickly. Both of us really miss him.

There's a new picture hanging on the wall next to my class picture from Eden Hall. It must have been taken right after our victory over Varsity. We Ducks are wearing huge grins on our faces, and our arms are around each other. Adam's on one side of me, and my other arm is around Connie. I snort to myself. Just typical.

Mom must have put that one up while I was gone. I'll probably take it down later, after she's forgotten about it.

I hear her come into the room behind me. She sits on my bed, and pulls me next to her.

"So how's my boy?" she asks, ruffling my hair.

Mom and I are close. We haven't talked a lot lately, probably because I've been at school.

I shrug. Mom will probably squeeze the whole story out of me later, but I'm not giving in just yet.

"Oh come on. No stories from school? I'm sure you've got something to tell me. Pull any more pranks with the Ducks? How's that girl I saw you with awhile ago?"

Oh, great. Linda. I shrug again.

"You two still dating?" Mom tilts my chin in her direction, a small smile on her face.

I shake my head. Her smile turns to a look of concern.

"You want to talk about it, honey?"

"Nope." I say it with enough finality that Mom lets go of my face.

We sit in silence uncomfortably. Come on, Conway…this is the time…tell her about Adam…

My ears perk up as I hear the front door open.

"Hello, anyone home? I've got the food…"

I know that voice. It can't be…Mom wouldn't have…

Coach Bombay peeks his head around the doorway into my room. "Oh, hey Charlie! I was hoping you'd be back. I didn't want to have to go searching for you outside."

I grin at my mother, who is wearing a shy smile. I stand up and hug my old coach, almost making him drop the food that he is holding in his hand.

"Hey, whoa Charlie!" He sets the bag down, and puts his arms around me. "Good to see you too."

- + - + -

Dinner's a little bit awkward. I know Mom's told Coach about my shocking silence about school. Usually I can't shut up. They're both giving me occasional glances but I just concentrate on my food.

"So, Charlie." Coach is breaking the silence for the first time since the meal started.

Why do I still refer to him as Coach? He's not my coach anymore. From now on, he's just going to be Bombay.

"How are the Ducks? Have you guys gotten into any more trouble?"

Of course. What else could he talk about except his precious Ducks? Oh, if only he knew the half of it…

"Not really." The answer is more of a grunt than a response.

He exchanges another look with my mother.

"Everything ok with you guys?" He tries again.

"Couldn't be better."

He sighs, and sets down his fork. "Charlie, I don't like it when you lie to me. And you could at least try to hide whatever it is a little bit more around Coach Orion."

I look up in surprise.

"Yes, of course I've talked to Ted. A lot has obviously been going on. He told me that you aren't captain anymore, and Connie is now. He also told me that Adam's switched rooms with Guy. And he mentioned something about a division in the Ducks, and that some of you seem to be gunning for each other in practice."

Mom doesn't seem surprised by any of this at all. Coach…I mean, Bombay has probably talked to her a lot about it.

"Yeah, so?" My tone is harsher than I intended.

"I just want to know what's going on. You've known me for a long time, and you know you can trust me."

"And me." Mom speaks up. "Charlie, I love you."

Oh, hell. They just have to pull this one on me. The sad part is that I fall for it every time. I guess I can tell them something, can't I? I sigh.

"The Ducks are just having internal problems."

"Like…?" Of course Bombay won't let it rest at that.

"Some of them are a little bit more bigoted than we had thought, and it bothers us." Yeah, that's good…doesn't tell them too much, but still gives them a legitimate idea of what's going on. I reach for my Coke and take a sip.

"Does this have anything to do with you and Adam?" Coach's voice is soft.

I cough, and Coke ends up all over my lap. Once I'm finished choking, I stare at him.

"What?" He doesn't know. He doesn't know. He doesn't know. Please god. He doesn't know.

"Honey, it's ok." Mom is already beside me with a napkin, cleaning up the mess I've made on the floor. I know she's not referring to the spilt Coke.

"Excuse me." My chair makes a grinding noise against the hardwood floor as I scoot back and leave the kitchen.

As soon as I'm in my room I pick up the phone, dialing the number for Adam's home in Edina.

Busy.

I let out a string of cuss words.

I hit the redial button.

Still busy.

I start to lapse into Irish. God, I'm turning into Taz.

"What language is that?"

I spin around. I didn't even notice Bombay and my mother behind me. I slam the phone down and look around the room...no way to escape besides the window.

"Charlie, please stop. It's alright. We know, and we understand." Mom is walking towards me, arms outstretched.

"How the hell do you know?"

"I've coached you for years. I know you through and through, and I know Adam almost as well." Coach Bombay moves to hug both of us at the same time. "You two are teenage boys, and teenage boys are never good at hiding their feelings."

Have I just come out? It's that easy? My god, I've only been home two hours. I didn't expect for everything to be told until at least tomorrow.

"I love you guys." It feels as if a gigantic weight has been taken off of my shoulders.

I can't believe that I'm not crying. I've been doing so much of it lately, one would think that I'd have no problem right now. I can't believe this. I'm out of the closet. Finally, no more hiding or pretending.

I've gotta call Banksie.