By Victory Thru Tears
Guy's POVI sigh, and knock on Connie's dorm room. I'm there because of obligation, not because I want to be. Why am I still putting myself through this?
Connie opens the door, her face nicely tanned. Instead of spending the holiday at her parents' house in Minneapolis, she went to California to visit her two older sisters.
"Hi Giggles." She wraps her arms around my neck and kisses my softly.
Ugh, not the nickname...I hate that name. At the beginning I didn't really mind it, but four years later I'm close to killing myself every time I hear it.
"Hi Connie." I return her gestures, and we step into her dorm room.
She proceeds to tell me about the weather in California, how she and Russ planned to meet but she never showed up (''she didn't want to hang out with that pansy lover''), all the fun she had with her sisters, and all of the new clothes she got.
I'd be lying if I said that I'm listening to her.
"So how was your vacation?" She asks.
"It was pretty cool. Charlie and I got together with Jesse."
"Oh, really? How is he?" Connie actually looks interested.
"Yeah, he's great. He likes public school fine. We played a little hockey, but it kind of sucked because there was an odd number."
"Did you tell him that Charlie's a fag?" She says it so casually that I almost miss it.
"Um, yeah, Charlie let him know about what's going on..." I don't really want to get into it, but the same thing that keeps me with Connie keeps the conversation going.
"So what did he think?"
"He didn't really care. In fact, he said that he wished he could be here to give whoever is giving them a hard time a piece of his mind."
"Oh, so you mean that he wanted to beat Charlie right there?" The smile on her face is disgusting. Her comment is pretty stupid, too. Didn't she hear what I just said?
"No." I say it so that she knows that I don't like what she's saying. "I mean that he was totally cool with it, and he wanted to let you know that you're being a prejudiced bitch."
"What?!"
Uh oh.
"I mean that he didn't like hearing about what you've been doing to the guys." I stutter.
"What did you call me?" She asks icily.
"Nothing." Quick, try to cover it up, try to cover it up..."Connie, I love you."
Flash the token Guy Germaine smile, she always falls for that.
Her stare is still mean.
"Get the hell out!" She picks up a glass (from Julie's side of the room, no less) and hurls it at me. I duck out of the way in time, and make for the door.
"Come on, Connie, I didn't say anything!"
"I'm sick of you sticking up for those queers, why don't you get some balls and become a real man!"
"Why can't you just admit that you're wrong?" I try to ignore the comment about my manhood, but find that it is too difficult. "And you sure weren't saying that about my stuff before we left for vacation."
The anger on her face swells and she starts chucking various pens at me. Maybe I shouldn't have hinted at our sex life.
"You leave that out of it, Guy Germaine! And plus, if I knew you were such a queer lover, we would never have slept together."
"Yeah, all nine times!" This argument has sort of gotten out of hand.
"What the hell, you-"
She breaks out into a train of curses, searching for things to throw at me.
I'm sure the entire dormitory can hear her yells by now. She grabs a vase and aims for my head.
"You know, I think I'm going to be going." I exit the room, and stand with my back to the doorway. She's still screaming and throwing things. This is not the Connie that the Ducks know. I'm used to it. She's a real sweetheart on the ice, but as soon as we're behind closed doors she turns into some hideous monster. I miss the old Connie.
That fight erupted quickly, way faster than usual. Maybe its a sign that things are ending.
I'm the biggest coward that I know. I compare myself to Adam and Charlie, and Fulton and Portman. They've come out of the closet, and in the process lost half of their friends. I saw Banks earlier today, as he was getting out of his father's BMW. He gave his father a big hug good-bye, something that I've never seen him do in the four years that I've known him. But even from about thirty feet away, I could see the purple bruises all over his face.
He has to deal with beatings from people that are supposed to love him. He's going to be dealing with discrimination for all of his life.
I can't even break up with my girlfriend.
Julie walks down the hallway, dragging a small suitcase behind her.
"Hey Guy...what's going on?" She looks kind of tired, probably from the long flight.
"Um, Julie, you don't want to go in there."
She can tell this by the noise coming from the other side of the door.
"Big fight?" She nods knowingly.
"Definitely." I sigh, trying to hide my confusion. I don't want to suck Julie into this whole mess.
"Wanna go for a walk?"
She's so sweet. I smile, and nod.
We walk down the hallway, the goalie still dragging her suitcase behind. It's kind of amusing. We situate ourselves on the steps of the dorm building, watching people come and go. I tell proceed to tell Julie everything that has been on my mind. Connie, Charlie, Jesse, Adam…
She shakes her head in disgust when I tell her about the bruises on Adam's face.
"It's sick, the way these people can't tolerate others."
I sigh. "I know. It's really hard to be stuck in the middle of people that I've known for years."
"Yeah, I mean, the only New Duck that isn't on Charlie's side is Luis, and he's an idiot. We all know that." Julie sighs.
"Jesse was really upset when he heard about what's going on. Especially when I told him about the division."
"The worst part is Connie."
I nod agreeingly. She's pretty much reading my mind.
"I mean, Dwayne, Ken, and Russ can pretty much keep to themselves, but I don't have anyone else to hang out with..."
"Hey, you can always come to me, Jules." I grin at her, and for a moment she reminds me of the Connie that I fell in love with.
She grins, and blushes.
We're quiet for a moment, and then Julie looks at me thoughtfully. "Do you think that the Ducks going to end?"
I shake my head. "I really don't know. I mean, if anything, we're already over. The only thing that's keeping us together is hockey. No one cares about old friendships - or relationships - anymore."
"New relationships are always good too, though. Friendships, I mean." Julie's face turns red.
"Definitely. New relationships are great." I smile, somewhat nervously.
Silence.
"I'm going to go." She quickly gets up and walks back into the dorm.
What just happened? Did Julie just insinuate something more than a friendship to me? Did I just respond? Were we just flirting??
No, Guy...that's your girlfriend's best friend...your GIRLfriend, not your EXgirlfriend...
I'm such a mess.