Chapter 15: Thawing The Ice
By Star
Portman's POVI'm not going to yell. I'm not. I'm going to stay calm and tell him that I was worried. I'm going to hold my temper.
Except I'm sick of holding my temper. I'm sick of putting up with Connie and her flunkies and not saying a word about it. I'm glad that Fulton punched Luis, it's about time someone did…
No, calm down. I take a deep breath and find myself not even remotely calm. Maya came round about two hours ago thinking that Taz was studying with Fulton. I was under the impression that Fulton was in Taz and Maya's room.
Which meant they've gone out together. And that's fine. What I don't get is why they didn't tell us. Why would he think I would mind? If he wanted to go out with Taz it would be fine, so why lie about it?
And that's what I'm going to ask him when he comes back.
In a nice calm tone.
*~*~*~*~*
"Thanks for lying to me." I snap at him the minute the door opens.
He gives me a look and moves towards his bed. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be out so late."
"You mean you didn't mean to get caught?" Damn it! Stop snapping.
He looks me in the eye and shrugs. "No. I don't know why I lied to you." He shrugs again. "I just wanted to get out of here for awhile."
"Well, why the hell didn't you just tell me that?" I've got to lower my voice or the entire floor will be woken up.
"Portman, chill. I screwed up, I'm sorry."
"Yeah, well it's four hours past curfew, what would have happened if someone had come by?" I'm sounding like his mother now. "You're already off the team for a week. You don't need any more trouble."
He rolls his eyes. "I know that, Portman! Don't you think I know that! I don't have any god damned parents. You and this damn school is all I have! I hate the school, so all I really have is you, so I'm sorry I screwed up. I need you."
That does it for me. It's all been too easy for me, his parents disowned him. I reach for him, feeling like a complete scumbag. What happened to my plan of staying calm?
He wraps his arms around my neck and leans against me.
"What happened?" I ask him softly, somehow regaining that calm that I wanted to use earlier.
"It's my own fault." He sighs. "I shouldn't have called them."
"You called your parents again?" I ask him.
"No. I called Mr and Mrs Reed again. Then I went to class with Taz and she asked me if wanted to go out with her tonight…"
"So why didn't you just tell me that?" I ask, stroking his hair.
"Because if I said I wanted some time alone, you'd ask why and we'd be having this conversation."
"We don't have to talk about anything you don't want to." I tell him, but really it's not true. I want to know what's going through his head.
He completely lost it when he punched Luis, I mean, Luis has had that coming a long time, but this was one of his weaker comments, I think he only said 'fag' before Fulton hit him. I know that in a perfect world we wouldn't have to deal with that, but… in this world we do, and it was an easy comment to ignore because we hear it so often.
I'm really worried about him, he's been progressively more despondent every day.
"I know. And part of me really wants to talk to you, but I just hate thinking about it… about them."
Them. The people he used to call his parents until a few weeks ago. I can't imagine how he feels, and it can't be good that he's hiding it from the others.
"I heard some girl talking about her plans for Christmas, and she was talking about her parents and I just missed mine…" He tails off.
I stroke his back, expecting tears, but none come.
"I'm sick of crying over them." He tells me, as if reading my mind.
I haven't got a clue what I'm going to say, but when I open my mouth it comes out right. "Then don't cry over them, and don't worry about Christmas. You're going home with me, and we'll have the greatest holiday ever. My Mom can overfeed us, and guy-spot in movies with us, and my Dad can get drunk and embarrass me horribly by singing and making stupid jokes. If you're really lucky my Mom will drag out the photo album and show you what an ugly baby I was."
To my surprise he laughs. "And don't forget the Bank's Christmas party. They're always good fun."
"And it's our first Christmas together." I remind him. "That has to be special, right?"
"Yeah." One of his hands finds mine and squeezes it. "I'm not just saying this to make up with you, I really mean it."
I find myself breathlessly waiting for him to continue.
"I think I'm falling in love with you. Big time." He says. "So don't hurt me."
I feel almost dizzy by his confession. "I couldn't hurt you. I feel the same way about you."
I still feel stunned as we lie in bed trying to get some sleep before I have to get up for hockey practice.
"Are you awake?" he asks dozily.
"No, I'm sleeping." I reply, shifting uncomfortably. I've said it once, I'll say it again, single beds are not designed for two guys the size of us.
"Taz's plan worked a little." He tells me.
"How's that?"
"Tonight did take my mind of my problems. Now I'm worried about her."
I sigh deeply. Why can't things be simple for the six of us? "What happened?"
"She drank herself senseless and passed out."
"We'll keep an eye on her." I tell him. "The Queertet looks after its own."
He smiles at me. "I wonder if it would piss them off to know we use their name for us."
I kiss him. "I hope so. Now go to sleep."
He drifts off quickly, he's so lucky, he can sleep no matter what. Not me, the slightest problem and my sleeping patterns are screwed.
And I wouldn't say that any of the problems we have are 'slight'.