A/N: Here's my first Lorelai fic. Guess what! It's from her POV, no relationship mentioned (Except for Chris & Lorelai.) Sorry Java Junkies! I love them, but... It was too hard to work in. Sorry for the cursing... I do it frequently. And to anyone who reads this- CMM isn't coming back! So I am now officially not watching GG. Unless it's 1st season or "Run Away, Little Boy."
Hell. My life, had I lived it "correctly" would be a form of hell. Hell on earth, but hell. My mother started lecturing me tonight on what my life should be like. Should be?! If my life was the way it should be, my precious Rory wouldn't be here. The one person in my life who has always loved me unconditionally. Well, dad has, but there's always been something there between us. Rory is the light of my life... God, cliche, huh? But it's true. But the only reason I have her is because of my reputation in Hartford society.
I don't give a damn 'bout my reputation
You're living in the past it's a new generation
A girl can do what she wants to do and that's
What I'm gonna do
An' I don't give a damn ' bout my bad reputation
Oh no not me
I never cared what those snobs thought. I snuck out with Chris, did anything and everything to defy authority figures, and where does it land me? With a wonderful daughter, a great coffee supplier, and a job I love. Do I regret anything from my past? Hell no. Without a doubt, no. I loved every minute of it. I had fun, lots of it, and it ended up leading me here. In Stars Hollow, Connecticut.
An' I don't give a damn 'bout my reputation
Never said I wanted to improve my station
An' I'm only doin' good
When I'm havin' fun
An' I don't have to please no one
An' I don't give a damn
'Bout my bad reputation
Oh no, not me
Oh no, not me
I remember how so many people looked down at me. My dad's friends, the DuGreys, absolutely hated me. All except Mr. DuGrey-Janlen, I think. He loved the fact that I openly defied anyone and everyone. He thought (and I quote) that it was "charming and rebellion suits her." I remember Dad telling me about that after a business dinner our families had. His son, Peter, was an absolute bastard. I hated him from the second I met him, and from what Rory has told me, his son seems to be like him. Of course, anyone who worships the ground she walks on can't be too bad, right? In fact, I see a bit of myself (and Chris) in him. Okay, so I haven't met the boy...
'Bout my reputation
I've never been afraid of any deviation
An' I don't really care
If ya think I'm strange
I ain't gonna change
An' I'm never gonna care
'Bout my bad reputation
Oh no, not me
Oh no, not me
I don't think I've ever cared. Anyone who lives with Emily, well, yeah, they'd turn out like me. Maybe I was a genetic anomaly. That would explain why I've heard (behind my back) "Lorelai Gilmore is crazy... She isn't normal." I know I'm not normal... But do people have to comment on it? It's because of people like me that so many things have been discovered or changed... Without "crazy" people, would we still think that the world is flat? That the sun revolves around the earth? I really doubt it. It's because of people like me that the world changes.
An' I don't give a damn
'Bout my reputation
The world's in trouble
There's no communication
An' everyone can say
What they want to say
It never gets better anyway
So why should I care
'Bout a bad reputation anyway
Oh no, not me
Oh no, not me
I knew I had to do something before they suffocated me. I've never cared, nor do I have any regrets. I'm truly happy with what became of me. Sure, I may wonder what could've been if Rory hadn't came along, but it wouldn't have been better. I will never wish that she hadn't been born... That would be saying I wanted the life that had been planned for me. That would be saying that my relationship with Christopher went too far. At the time, it didn't seem like it, and even now it doesn't. And should I care about the reputation I hold among Hartford's elite members of society? No, I don't believe so.