Chapter Title: Forgiveness
Disclaimer: I own nothing of Alias, just love it lots(
Spoilers: none
Review please! I love feedback!
~~~~~
Sydney stood next to Vaughn, one hand looped through his, the other on his shoulder. He bowed his head and turned to her. He thought of his own mother. He took a deep breath and rose his eyes to hers. What he next said almost hurt, but he knew he had to say it.
"Sydney…you…you have to forgive her."
Sydney looked at him, dumbfounded.
"What are you saying?"
Vaughn held her hands tightly in his. He sighed.
"Sydney, if…if you don't do this….if you don't forgive her…and I'm not saying let her back into your life…but if you don't forgive her and move on, it will only hurt you more. If you don't let this pass, and go on, knowing it is resolved, you…we can't get on with our lives, because we will have this hanging over us." He looked compassionately into her eyes.
She looked at him, and she didn't want to admit it to herself, but she knew in her heart he was right, that she would carry her pain and anger with her if she didn't let it go. She nodded.
"…ok…"
He smiled slightly at her.
"Want me to come with you?" He asked.
She shook her head.
"No…I need to do this."
He nodded.
"I'll still see you in an hour won't I?"
She grinned.
"I wouldn't miss it for the world."
He kissed her gently and gave her a supportive smile.
"I'm here if you need me."
"I know…thank you." She gave him a smile and walked off in the direction her mother had gone.
Vaughn watched her go and sighed, knowing how hard it would be for her.
~*~
Sydney found her mother in the courtyard next to the large fountain. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, gathering all the courage she had.
"M…mom?" it felt really weird to say that.
Laura turned.
"Sydney..." She looked at her daughter.
Sydney clasped her hands together.
"Don't talk, if I don't say this now, I wont be able to and it will just be bad if I don't say this," she paused, "when you…'died', I felt like my whole world had fallen apart. Dad got me a nanny because he was too busy to take care of me himself, and I realize now, he didn't want me to see him in so much pain as he was in, and also, he didn't want to see me much…because I reminded him of you. I remember…at your…'funeral'…that I just hid under the dining room table. I just didn't want people to be there, offering me pity. I held your blouse like a blanket…remember the pink one? I cried when my nanny wanted to take it from me and wash it. I remember holding it in my arms every night, crying myself to sleep. It still smelled like you."
Sydney paused to wipe a tear, her mother had tears in her eyes…Sydney went on.
"After a while, I could finally get up and go to school, and eventually I started to go on with my life. Of course holidays were hard, Prom was hard, not having my mother there to help me with everything. Eventually, I figured out how to go on, how to live, how to be who I am, I went to school, to be a teacher, like I thought you had been. Then there was SD-6, all of that. I thought I was doing something worth doing with my life…then I found out the truth…then the CIA, and it was just…total chaos. Then…finding out the truth about you….my WHOLE WORLD fell apart again, like you had died all over again, because any perception, any vision I had of you, my dream of who you were had died. Michael helped me, he didn't hold anything against ME for what YOU did. We would talk, and after time, even that pain went away. There had been a few times, that I have wondered if you were alive, by some plan or something…but I didn't give it much thought. Michael always has a way of putting things into perspective…and I guess, after everything…the fact is…you are my MOM….and there was almost nothing you could do to change the things you did…and you are sorry."
She looked her mom in the eyes. They almost had identical eyes.
"I do forgive you."
Her mother burst into tears, the relief of everything she had been through to get back to her daughter and husband hitting her, forgiveness, what she wanted more than anything, she had.
Sydney took a step towards her mom, she had to let go of her inhibitions. She put her hand on her mom's arm.
"Mom, its ok."
Her mother half smiled, wiping the tears from her eyes. She looked at Sydney and held her arms open. Sydney hesitated, still unsure. She looked at her mother, and gave in, walking into her mothers arms. Hugging her mother brought back so many forgotten memories. The flooded her mind.
*She remembered being in the kitchen, laughing and having a flour fight with her mom while baking. She threw a handful of flour at her mom, and she ducked, right as Jack walked into the kitchen after work, the flour hitting him right in the face, getting all over his black suit. Sydney froze, her tiny body becoming like a board. She was unsure of what he would do. She was covered head to toe in flour. Jack looked from her to Laura. He put down his briefcase, a solemn look on his face. He walked over to Sydney, he towered over her. Sydney looked up at him, her face was white covered in flour. The corners of his mouth twisted into a smile.
"Run." Was all he said and with that Sydney squealed at the top of her lungs and ran off toward the backyard, screaming and giggling. Jack was off after her and Laura chased after them, all of them laughing.
~*~
*Sydney sat curled up in her mother's lap, in front of the fire. Her mom was reading 'Nancy Drew' to her. Sydney was listening intently. Jack came home, and after changing, came out and took over reading. Sydney moved to sit on both of their laps, Laura put her head on Jack's shoulder and kissed the top of Sydney's head.
~*~
Sydney finally broke the embrace with her mom. She smiled.
"Mom…I'd love to stay here and everything…but I do have to get back to my wedding…"
Laura nodded.
"Well, I might cause a bit of a stir…so I'll be in the back, watching."
"Ok." Sydney smiled and turned to leave.
"Sydney…" her mother called after her.
Sydney turned back to her.
Laura smiled and shook her head, not saying what she wanted to say.
"Never mind…just…have a good wedding." She smiled.
"Thanks mom." Sydney smiled and walked back into the hotel.
Laura watched her go and whispered,
"I love you Sydney."
Disclaimer: I own nothing of Alias, just love it lots(
Spoilers: none
Review please! I love feedback!
~~~~~
Sydney stood next to Vaughn, one hand looped through his, the other on his shoulder. He bowed his head and turned to her. He thought of his own mother. He took a deep breath and rose his eyes to hers. What he next said almost hurt, but he knew he had to say it.
"Sydney…you…you have to forgive her."
Sydney looked at him, dumbfounded.
"What are you saying?"
Vaughn held her hands tightly in his. He sighed.
"Sydney, if…if you don't do this….if you don't forgive her…and I'm not saying let her back into your life…but if you don't forgive her and move on, it will only hurt you more. If you don't let this pass, and go on, knowing it is resolved, you…we can't get on with our lives, because we will have this hanging over us." He looked compassionately into her eyes.
She looked at him, and she didn't want to admit it to herself, but she knew in her heart he was right, that she would carry her pain and anger with her if she didn't let it go. She nodded.
"…ok…"
He smiled slightly at her.
"Want me to come with you?" He asked.
She shook her head.
"No…I need to do this."
He nodded.
"I'll still see you in an hour won't I?"
She grinned.
"I wouldn't miss it for the world."
He kissed her gently and gave her a supportive smile.
"I'm here if you need me."
"I know…thank you." She gave him a smile and walked off in the direction her mother had gone.
Vaughn watched her go and sighed, knowing how hard it would be for her.
~*~
Sydney found her mother in the courtyard next to the large fountain. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, gathering all the courage she had.
"M…mom?" it felt really weird to say that.
Laura turned.
"Sydney..." She looked at her daughter.
Sydney clasped her hands together.
"Don't talk, if I don't say this now, I wont be able to and it will just be bad if I don't say this," she paused, "when you…'died', I felt like my whole world had fallen apart. Dad got me a nanny because he was too busy to take care of me himself, and I realize now, he didn't want me to see him in so much pain as he was in, and also, he didn't want to see me much…because I reminded him of you. I remember…at your…'funeral'…that I just hid under the dining room table. I just didn't want people to be there, offering me pity. I held your blouse like a blanket…remember the pink one? I cried when my nanny wanted to take it from me and wash it. I remember holding it in my arms every night, crying myself to sleep. It still smelled like you."
Sydney paused to wipe a tear, her mother had tears in her eyes…Sydney went on.
"After a while, I could finally get up and go to school, and eventually I started to go on with my life. Of course holidays were hard, Prom was hard, not having my mother there to help me with everything. Eventually, I figured out how to go on, how to live, how to be who I am, I went to school, to be a teacher, like I thought you had been. Then there was SD-6, all of that. I thought I was doing something worth doing with my life…then I found out the truth…then the CIA, and it was just…total chaos. Then…finding out the truth about you….my WHOLE WORLD fell apart again, like you had died all over again, because any perception, any vision I had of you, my dream of who you were had died. Michael helped me, he didn't hold anything against ME for what YOU did. We would talk, and after time, even that pain went away. There had been a few times, that I have wondered if you were alive, by some plan or something…but I didn't give it much thought. Michael always has a way of putting things into perspective…and I guess, after everything…the fact is…you are my MOM….and there was almost nothing you could do to change the things you did…and you are sorry."
She looked her mom in the eyes. They almost had identical eyes.
"I do forgive you."
Her mother burst into tears, the relief of everything she had been through to get back to her daughter and husband hitting her, forgiveness, what she wanted more than anything, she had.
Sydney took a step towards her mom, she had to let go of her inhibitions. She put her hand on her mom's arm.
"Mom, its ok."
Her mother half smiled, wiping the tears from her eyes. She looked at Sydney and held her arms open. Sydney hesitated, still unsure. She looked at her mother, and gave in, walking into her mothers arms. Hugging her mother brought back so many forgotten memories. The flooded her mind.
*She remembered being in the kitchen, laughing and having a flour fight with her mom while baking. She threw a handful of flour at her mom, and she ducked, right as Jack walked into the kitchen after work, the flour hitting him right in the face, getting all over his black suit. Sydney froze, her tiny body becoming like a board. She was unsure of what he would do. She was covered head to toe in flour. Jack looked from her to Laura. He put down his briefcase, a solemn look on his face. He walked over to Sydney, he towered over her. Sydney looked up at him, her face was white covered in flour. The corners of his mouth twisted into a smile.
"Run." Was all he said and with that Sydney squealed at the top of her lungs and ran off toward the backyard, screaming and giggling. Jack was off after her and Laura chased after them, all of them laughing.
~*~
*Sydney sat curled up in her mother's lap, in front of the fire. Her mom was reading 'Nancy Drew' to her. Sydney was listening intently. Jack came home, and after changing, came out and took over reading. Sydney moved to sit on both of their laps, Laura put her head on Jack's shoulder and kissed the top of Sydney's head.
~*~
Sydney finally broke the embrace with her mom. She smiled.
"Mom…I'd love to stay here and everything…but I do have to get back to my wedding…"
Laura nodded.
"Well, I might cause a bit of a stir…so I'll be in the back, watching."
"Ok." Sydney smiled and turned to leave.
"Sydney…" her mother called after her.
Sydney turned back to her.
Laura smiled and shook her head, not saying what she wanted to say.
"Never mind…just…have a good wedding." She smiled.
"Thanks mom." Sydney smiled and walked back into the hotel.
Laura watched her go and whispered,
"I love you Sydney."