Author's Notes: I just keep on updating! It's becoming an everyday occurance. Well as usual, I own nothing from FF8, characters included. And also I don't own the FFVII characters I use either. Sadly, the ferret I own passed away after choking on the box of raisins, so I now own nothing. Trying to sue me is pretty pointless now..Anywho on with the show!



The Fujin Kazeno Show

Announcer: Welcome yet again loyal viewers! It's time once again for the Fujin Kazeno show! Today is a very special episode though, because today Fu will be helping couples that require her assistance. So here she is, the depressed queen of love herself.. HEEEEEEEERRRREEEE'SSSS FUJIN!

Fujin: WELCOME.

Raijin: Hey there again, ya know. I can't wait to start the show ya know.

Seifer: Yeah yeah.. Fu is gonna help a bunch of pansies that can't score.. it's very touching stuff..

Fujin: RAGE! ::Kick:: NOT PANSIES!

Seifer: Owww! Jeez.. yeah whatever.. let's just do this..

Fujin: WHO FIRST?

Raijin: Let's see.. the first couple tonight in none other then FFVII's Cloud and Tifa, ya know!

Cloud and Tifa walk out onto the stage and sit in their seats.

Both: Hello.

Fujin: SO, WHAT PROBLEM?

Cloud: She hates me.

Tifa: I think he still loves Aeris.

Cloud: You're just jealous of her!

Tifa: Jealous?!

Raijin: Well guess what you two? Fu-sama brought a special gift for you two, ya know!

Fujin: WELCOME, AERIS!

Aeris walks out, heading straight to Cloud and kisses him. Tifa jumps up from her chair, being restrained by Raijin.

Tifa: You god damn dead bitch! Come here so I can kick your wussy healer ass!

Aeris: You're just jealous because I have Cloud and a better figure then you!

Tifa: A better figure?! You're flatter then an airplane hanger!

Seifer runs in and looks closely at Aeris's chest, then at Tifa's.

Seifer: ::Drooling:: Yeah.. Tifa has quite the rack on her..

Fujin: PERVERT!

As the arguing and screaming, ass-kicking and name calling continues, no one seems to notice Sephiroth as he jumps down from the rafters and jams his sword through Aeris's back.

Cloud: Noooooooo!

Sephiroth: Hahaha! I did it again! Mwahahaha!

Sephiroth quickly runs off stage.

Cloud: Why god why?! Oh well... Hey Tifa, ya wanna go backstage and shag?

Tifa: Sure!

The two also leave.

Raijin: Well.. That was.. kinda.. ya know..

Seifer: Unexpected..

Fujin: ...RIGHT. WHO NEXT?

Raijin: Let's see.. next is Squall Leonheart and Rinoa Heartilly!

Fujin: Rinoa?! I sent her into the stratosphere two fanfictions ago!

Fujin looks backstage and glares at the author.

Announcer/Author: What do you want? It's late and I'm tired. Leave me alone please..

Fujin: Oh well.. WELCOME!

Squall and Rinoa walk out to the stage and have a seat.

Rinoa: Hi again!

Squall: ..Whatever.

Fujin: WHAT PROBLEM?

Rinoa: I've come to realize my Squall is a bit unsocial..

Squall: ..Whatever.

Raijin: Hmm..

Seifer: Hmmmm..

Fujin: BEEN NICE?

Rinoa: Yes of course.

Squall: ..Whatever.

Raijin: I think he's a robot, ya know!

Seifer smacks Raijin upside the head.

Fujin: TRIED SEX?

Rinoa: He never wants to.. despite all my efforts and all the lingerie, he isn't attracted.

Fujin: GAY?

Rinoa: No.. I doubt it..

Raijin: I'm telling ya.. he's a robot, ya know.

Seifer smacks him again.

Squall: ..Whatever.

Fujin: NO ADVICE.

Seifer suddenly turns towards Raijin.

Seifer: Say he's a robot again and I'll beat you so bad..

Raijin: But he is ya know! I swear it!

Seifer jumps on Raijin and begins pounding him. Fujin breaks up the scuffle.

Raijin: Huff.. well.. let's get both our... couples out here... ya know..

Cloud and Tifa walk out onto the stage, their clothes on a bit awkwardly and their hair ruffled. Aeris suddenly begins to stand up.

Aeris: I'm not.. quite dead yet..

Sephiroth jumps from the ceiling and kills Aeris yet again.

Sephiroth: This is getting a little redundant. Oh well.. I got me a woman!

Sephiroth drags Aeris backstage.

Rinoa and Squall stand up and take a bow.

Raijin: Ha! I'll prove it now ya know!

Raijin quickly throws a cup of water in Squall's face. Small bolts of lightening shoot out from the side of his head and he quickly gets shut off.

Raijin: Hahaha! I knew it ya know! I was right this time, ya know!

Seifer: That's some nice work Raijin. Have a cookie.

Seifer hands Raijin a cookie.

Fujin: This show is just to much for me...

Author/Announcer: Zzzzz...Zzzzz..

The author's head then falls forward and smashes into the keyboard.