"The Voice"
by: Braycat.
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, Paramount does. They're so lucky.
Trip Tucker was pleased with himself. It took some doin' but he finally was able to get Hoshi's portable translator all fixed up, and with a day to spare too. Enterprise was involved in it's first diplomatic mission, and the communications device would certainly be needed.
Yesterday they'd picked up a couple of Vulcan diplomats, and now they were headin' to the Denobulan home world to add a couple more officials to the delegation. Then finally Enterprise would take them all to the Andorian home world where the official talks would begin, and they would try to see if they could hammer out some peace-keepin' rules in the region.
Trip checked the translator again. Tucker knew that Hoshi would be okay speakin' Vulcan, Denobulan, or Andorian, but he and Archer would need a little help communicatin' their views to the others, and that was somethin' that Trip was lookin' forward to. Several of the meetin's and dinners were gonna be held aboard Enterprise and the engineer was gonna relish this opportunity to tell some of the alien's what he really thought about 'em and the truth as he saw it about humans. He made a beginnin' with the Vulcan's the night before. While he doubted that he changed their opinion of humans, it felt good to get his own views across.
The engineer fiddled with the device some more. While he thought that it was workin', he couldn't be sure until he actually used it to translate an alien's language. That meant havin' a chat with either T'Pol or Dr. Phlox. Thinkin' that the physician might be a little more willin' to help, he headed to sickbay.
He was halfway there when he heard the Vulcan's talkin' in their own language in an adjoinin' corridor. Tucker didn't intend to eavesdrop, but then he thought he heard them mention his name. Why would two Vulcan ambassador's be talkin' about him?
The key to the answer lay in his hand and Trip didn't even try to fight the impulse. He flipped on the translator and kept the volume low, so only he could hear what they were sayin'. The device worked perfectly as the Vulcan's words were transformed into English.
"What a most unpleasant duty," one Vulcan said to the other. "Listening to that human ramble last night called for the utmost patience that I could muster."
"It did for me as well." The other Vulcan agreed. "The human is long winded, very verbose, and very emotional."
"Not to mention very loud." Both Vulcan's appeared to shudder. "I hope that Captain Archer is wise enough to leave that particular human out of his diplomatic party. Commander Tucker's presence during these talks would not only be a disturbance, but would be an embarrassment to the captain..."
"Not to mention all of humanity." The other Vulcan finished.
Stunned, Trip had heard enough. He shut off the translator with an angry jerk and rapidly walked away from the Vulcan's. How dare they? Here he was only airin' his views and they made him out to be some loudmouth jerk. Now, Trip was realistic enough to admit that, on occasion, he'd been known to shoot off his mouth a little too much, and sometimes he had managed to end up sticking his foot in it, but Archer usually reacted with amusement on such occasions.
Amusement at his expense Tucker could tolerate, but an embarrassment to humanity? Was he really that obnoxious?
Nah. Trip couldn't believe that he was that big of a bore. If so Archer would have never picked him for this mission. Tucker convinced himself that he was lettin' his imagination run away with him. The cap'n would be takin' him with the rest of the party to the surface the next day, he was certain of it. Still, hearin' himself referred to as an embarrassment to the entire human race was unsettlin', even if it did come from a Vulcan, and despite Trip's best efforts, those hurtful words kept poppin' into his head for the rest of the afternoon.
------------
The next day he had bigger things to worry about when a plasma conduit that led to the warp reactor blew just as Enterprise reached orbit. Working quickly, Tucker and his team managed to put the fire out before much damage was done.
So, Tucker reported later when Cap'n Archer came to engineerin' to see for himself. "Most of the conduit is fried, but the surroundin' circuit's are okay. We should have the warp drive up and runnin' by tomorrow."
"Good. That should give me enough time to have my little pre-lim talks with the Vulcan and Denobulan envoy's and still break orbit on time tomorrow."
Still sensitive to what he overheard the day before, Trip's ears picked up at the captain's use of the word "I" in the last sentence. "I." Not "we." Archer couldn't really think of leavin' him behind, could he? He couldn't really think that Tucker was an embarrassment, could he? "Say, Cap'n, you're not goin' down there alone, are you?"
When Archer answered "of course not" Trip relaxed. He knew that he'd been lettin' his imagination run away with him. That is until he heard...
"I'm taking T'Pol with me."
"T'Pol?" Trip's surprise and dismay filled his voice. So much so that Archer finally noticed that something was wrong with the engineer. "I'm sorry, Trip. I know you wanted to come down to the surface with me, but I think it'd be best if you stayed here and tended to the engine."
"But, it's just a busted plasma conduit. My people can have it fixed in no time. They don't need me lookin' over their shoulder while they work."
"Never the less, I want you to oversee the work personally and get the warp drive up and running to full efficiency. It's important that we reach the Andorian home world on time and we can't afford any screw-ups."
With that last sentence Archer gave the impression that he was talking about the engine, but by now Trip was convinced that the cap'n was talkin' about him. Oh God, it was true. Archer was embarrassed to have Trip with him. He was ashamed of the engineer. Ashamed! Tucker fought down a wave of despair. He really was an embarrassment to humanity.
_______________
Malcolm Reed was starving. Making security arrangements to cover the captain's visit to the Denobulan home world, as well as securing all of the delegates and their parties when they came aboard Enterprise, had left him exhausted as well as ravenous.
He made his way to the Mess Hall and stopped short the second he stepped through the doorway. Something was not quite right here. The room was bathed in a rather subdued, eerie quiet, and it took the armory officer a minute to realize that the silence was exactly the problem. It was too quiet.
Usually the Mess Hall was a buzz with activity. There were always several groups of crew members who would cluster together and discuss the events of the day. Good day or bad, there was always something to talk about, but today... today everyone appeared to be eating, at best in quiet contemplation, and at worst, depressed.
Depressed. That's it. Everyone seemed down, but why? To his knowledge nothing was seriously wrong with anyone on Enterprise. With his position as armory officer he would have heard if there had been any really bad news. So what was going on?
Looking around, it didn't take him long to find the source of the trouble. For there, sitting all alone at a table by the window, was a very depressed Trip Tucker. The engineer wasn't eating, just toying with his food really, while he stared out the window with a dejected look on his face.
No wonder the crew was subdued. Reed knew that Tucker didn't realize it, but usually everyone else around him took their cue from him. His good natured, buoyant personality and optimistic outlook made him fun to be around, and usually the people near him sub-consciously copied his optimistic example. Apparently it looked like they followed his lead in the other direction as well. It seemed that when Trip Tucker was down, everyone around him was down, and for the life of him, Reed couldn't ever remember seeing Tucker this low before. Angry, yes. Amazed, yes. Even scared, but never depressed. Something must be horribly wrong.
Determined to help, Reed got his tray of food and went to sit next to his friend. "Good afternoon, Commander. May I join you?"
When Trip looked up at him Reed could see in his eyes that the answer was no, but apparently saying so out loud required too much energy because Tucker just shrugged and turned back to the window.
They sat in an uncomfortable silence for a few minutes. Reed found it a bit awkward to be the only one eating at the table, but he attempted to lighten the mood by trying to engage the commander in small talk. "So, how are the repairs to the warp drive coming?"
Trip barely heard Reed's question. He'd been up the whole night just thinkin' about Archer's perceived disappointment in him. In his mind's eye he recalled at least a dozen instances where he thought he'd been either funny, or witty, or charmin', but now, lookin' back in this new context, he was totally mortified at what he had said. Archer must have been thoroughly embarrassed. Trip thought it was amazing that the cap'n allowed him to come on this mission at all. In fact, by now Trip was so paranoid that he was afraid to say anythin' to anyone.
But Reed had asked him a question, and he supposed he would be rude if he didn't answer. Damned if he did and damned if he didn't. Well, he'd better say somethin' soon, or from the way Reed was lookin' at him, the Lieutenant would be haulin' his ass off to sickbay any minute. "I'm sorry, Malcolm. I kinda spaced there for a minute. What were you askin'?"
Reed was thoroughly worried now. Tucker couldn't even comprehend a simple question. This behavior was so unlike the engineer. "About the warp drive?"
"Ah." Trip nodded. "It's fine. It was only a fried plasma conduit. We got it fixed up in about four hours."
"Great. Then we're all set to move on to the Andorian home world.
"Yeah."
Was it's Reed's imagination, or did he hear a hint of despair in the commander's voice. Did whatever was bothering him have anything to do with the peace mission that they were on? Reed decided to try a cautious experiment. "Too bad that conduit blew. Otherwise you could have gone down to the surface with the captain."
In a way Reed's experiment was a spectacular success. Trip dropped his fork, hard onto the plate and within seconds the engineer was on his feet. "I'm sorry, Malcolm. I have to go."
"Please, Trip. Don't leave." Reed grabbed the engineer's arm and pulled him back down into his seat. "I'm sorry if I'm prying, but it's obvious that something is wrong. Something to do with the Captain?" Tucker flinched and looked away, confirming that Reed's question had hit right on target. "Trip, listen to me."
The engineer looked up at the sound of his first name. Malcolm hardly ever called him by that, so he must have somethin' important to say.
Seeing that he'd gotten the engineers attention, Reed continued. "Trip, I know we haven't been close friends for very long, but you know that you can talk to me about whatever's wrong. You're always there for me, encouraging me to open up, and I want you to know that I'm here for you too."
Trip was touched by Reed's admission. He felt that his whole friendship with Archer had been undermined by this thing, and it was good that he still had someone he could count on, but he wasn't ready to open up. Not, just yet. "Thanks, Malcolm. I appreciate your offer, I really do. I just need some times to think things through. Get 'em organized in my own mind before I talk to anyone else. Otherwise I won't make any sense."
Reed recognized an evasive tactic when he saw one, after all he was an expert at dodging such talk himself. He also saw that there was no changing Trip's mind. Not right then anyway. "All right, but please remember that whenever you are ready to talk, I am here to listen. Day or night."
Trip smiled then. The first genuine smile Reed had seen from him since he came in the room. "I'll remember, Malcolm. I promise." Trip started to leave, then turned back to face the armory officer. "I want you know that I really appreciate your friendship, Malcolm."
"I know." Reed all but whispered.
Trip nodded and left Malcolm to his table. Reed followed the engineer out of the room with worried eyes. What could have caused Tucker this much pain?
_________________
A few hours later all senior officers were required to greet the captain and the delegates upon their return from the planet. Archer was planning a more formal party once they reached the Andorian home world, but he wanted this little, informal get-together to help break the ice.
The captain was so busy making his guests feel at home, that he didn't notice that Trip was standing by himself in the corner, but Reed did. Usually Trip was smack dab in the middle of the crowd, engaging in small talk and lighting up any group with his stories, but not today. This time Tucker was standing well away from the activity, saying little, and looking totally miserable and lost. Like a man who felt that he didn't belong.
Reed glanced back at the captain, but Archer seemed oblivious to Tucker's misery. Reed knew that the captain was focused at the matter at hand, and that he was a little nervous. This was the first time that Enterprise was playing host to such an intergalactic party and Archer wanted to make a good impression. But still, Reed knew that Archer and Tucker had been close friends for years. You would think the captain would notice that something was terribly wrong.
But no, unnoticed by everyone but Reed, Trip waited a decent interval before slipping out of the room. Malcolm was beside himself with worry, but what to do? Tucker had all ready turned down his help. Reed knew that the engineer would probably open up to Archer, but would Trip get angry if he brought this to the captain's attention? Probably. Malcolm realized that he couldn't go to Captain Archer and just tell him flat out that something was wrong. There had to be another way.
___________
A day passed. The engine room gang wasn't surprised when Enterprise arrived safely at the Andorian home world because their chief engineer had kept a non stop vigil over their warp drive. Even though all systems were functioning normally since the plasma conduit blew, Tucker had hardly left the room.
Trip knew the team thought he was actin' strange, but right now he didn't feel comfortable bein' anywhere else on the ship. If he left the engine room he might have to speak to someone, and Trip's self-esteem was so low that he couldn't even face a simple conversation. So he just hid out with his engine and his tools which, at the moment, seemed to be his closest friends.
But apparently he wasn't the only one in need of friendship. When crewman Dillard walked by Trip noticed that he was wearing hip deep boots and was carrying a couple of long wire brushes, along with a bucket. The crewman looked like he was facing an invading army and those brushes were his only weapons.
"Hey, Dillard. Where you goin?" Trip asked, though he well knew the answer.
"I've been assigned to clean the injector coils, sir."
"I see." And Tucker did. Cleanin' out those coils was the worst job on the ship. No kind of automated system had ever been designed that was sensitive enough to give the coils the cleanin' that they needed without breakin' them. No, someone had to physically stand hip deep in muck and scrub the coils by hand. It was a dirty, miserable job that took hours.
No wonder Dillard had such a woebegone look on his face. Trip sighed. The crewman didn't know it yet, but he just got real lucky. "Hold it, Dillard. Give me that stuff."
Dillard stopped still. He had heard what Tucker had said all right, but the meaning refused to register in his mind. Why in the world would the commander ask for these things? Cleaning the coils was such an unpopular job, usually the lowest ranking crewman on the ship got stuck with the task. An officer never volunteered for such duty. Ever. Dillard must have misunderstood. "Sir?"
"You heard me right." Trip understood Dillard's confusion but made his voice firm. "Hand me the brushes. I'll take care of the coils this time."
"But sir..." the crewman protested, knowing full well that the captain's official welcoming party for the diplomats was going to start in a few minutes. "Aren't you expected in the Mess Hall?"
Trip allowed himself to laugh a small laugh, devoid of all humor. "Ah, the captain's party." Tucker grabbed the brushes. "I'm not invited," he all but whispered, fighting to keep the hurt out of his voice. Trip thought he succeeded, but looking at Dillard's confused face, Tucker knew that he needed to explain his odd behavior to the crewman. "Look Dillard. I wouldn't be good commander if I wasn't willin' to do the same jobs that I ask you guys to do. So..." Tucker gestured for the crewman to take the waders off. "Go on to the party." Trip ordered. "Have a good time."
"Yes sir." Dillard handed the tools over. He accepted Tucker's explanation, but couldn't help but notice that Tucker seemed to be a little depressed as he headed for the Jefferies tube. As he watched the commander leave, Dillard realized that he was actually feeling sorry for someone else doing that particular job instead of him. He mused on the irony of life as he headed for the mess hall.
____________
The party was in full swing when Reed arrived. The armory officer looked around, but wasn't surprised when he found that there was no sign of Trip. He sighed to himself. Something had to be done. Edging forward, he moved close enough to eavesdrop on a conversation that the captain was having with one of the Andorian diplomats.
"Boring party." The Ambassador complained. "I thought you humans were supposed to be a fun species."
Archer grit his teeth. Planning a party subdued enough to keep the Vulcan's happy, but lively enough to keep everyone else awake wasn't easy, and apparently he wasn't succeeding too well with the Andorian's.
The captain looked around. Where the hell was Trip? He'd been counting on the good natured, high spirits of the engineer to keep things lively, yet there was no sign of the commander. Archer began to get worried. Not only because he knew his party could be doomed to failure without Tucker there to help out, but it wasn't like Trip to not show up for something this important. It was just dawning on Archer that maybe something was wrong with his friend.
"I'm sorry, Ambassador. I do have something in mind to liven things up a bit, so if you'll excuse me for a few minutes, I'll see how the preparations are coming."
"It better be good." The ambassador grumbled.
Archer moved off. Right now he didn't have time to worry about the Andorian's feelings, he had to find Trip. Desperate, the captain caught sight of Reed and headed his way. "Malcolm, have you seen Commander Tucker?"
Ah, Malcolm thought. The captain has finally caught on. "No sir. I'm afraid I haven't."
"This is a very important party. He's supposed to be here."
"Yes sir, he is. I can't understand it." Reed lied. He wasn't going to tell Archer the truth outright, but how to spill the beans? Then as if sent by the heavens as an answer, Reed spotted Dillard entering the room. The armory officer waved him over. "Crewman Dillard, have you seen Commander Tucker?
"Yes sir," Dillard affirmed. "He's cleaning out the plasma coils."
"He's what?" The captain wasn't sure he'd heard that right.
"I was all set to do it," Dillard admitted, "but the commander volunteered. He said that he wouldn't ask any of his men to do anything that he wouldn't do himself."
"He did?" Archer asked, surprise filling his voice.
"Yes sir." Oblivious to the captain's strange reaction, Dillard went on. "It's things like this that make me proud to serve under Commander Tucker. He's a fine officer sir."
"Yes, very fine." Archer echoed absentmindedly. His mind was working at full speed but he was still having trouble comprehending this turn of events.
Spotting Chef's appetizer table Dillard excused himself left them alone to ponder Trip's actions.
Reed saw that the time to nudge was now. "Excuse me sir, you know Commander Tucker better than I do, but don't you think that Trip volunteering for such duty is just a little odd?"
"More than a little." In fact, Trip's actions made no sense at all. Archer clearly remembered the day Trip was promoted to Lieutenant. The first thing that his friend did was to dance a happy dance because he knew that he would never have to clean one of those mucky coils ever again. So why the hell was he doing it now? "Something's wrong here and I'm going to find out what." He turned to Reed. "Hold the fort, Lieutenant."
"Yes sir." Reed relaxed for the first time in days, as he watched his captain leave the mess hall. Finally Trip was going to get the help he needed, from the person he needed. Reed was sure of it.
______________
Careful not to bump his head on the ceiling, Archer walked carefully along the narrow Jefferies Tube. He wasn't even sure if he was heading in the right direction. Even as captain, he very rarely had visited the bowels of his ship, but the destination became clearer when he heard muffled cursing from just ahead. Continuing forward, Archer emerged onto a small platform. There just below him, standing knee deep in muck was his best friend.
Covered with grime, Tucker was struggling to clean a coil that kept rollin' away from him with his every move. "Come on you son of a... stay put!"
"Hey, Trip!"
Archer's voice startled the engineer so much that his body involuntarily jumped and he hit his head on a protrusion right above him. "Damn, it!" Trip exclaimed.
"Oh, sorry." Archer apologized from his perch on the ledge. "Did you hurt yourself?"
"No, not at all." Trip rubbed the sore spot, trying to hide his shock at finding Archer down here of all places. "I always like bangin' my head onto solid objects."
"Sorry..." Archer's voice trailed off. He didn't quite know what to say next.
Trip still couldn't believe that he was really seein' Archer perched on that platform. "What are you doin' here, Cap'n?" The engineer couldn't help but let a bit of the bitterness slip into his voice. "I thought you had a party to run."
Archer picked up on the tone, but sure as hell didn't know what caused it. "I did, but things weren't going so well."
Suddenly tense, Trip pretended to totally concentrate on rubbing his brush along the coil, but he spared Archer enough of his attention to ask the question that was burning in his mind. "So you had a problem, did you?"
Archer nodded. "No one was having a good time. It took me awhile to realize that something was missing. Something very important."
"Oh?" Trip turned away. He continued to scrub, although the coil in his hand was now clean, he used his work as an excuse not to look at Archer. "What was that?"
Archer's voice softened. "You were missing, Trip."
Tucker nearly dropped the clean coil back into the muck. "Me? Why am I so important?"
"You know why." To Archer the question was irrelevant. Tucker had so many obvious qualities that his worth was clearly apparent. Trip knew how much Archer valued him, or did he? Archer's eyes narrowed. Maybe his positive attributes were obvious to everyone, everyone that is but the engineer himself. "What the hell's going on here, Trip?"
"Nothin'." Trip turned his attention back to the coil in his hand.
"Don't give me that." Archer clearly heard the hurt in Trip's voice. Something must have happened to drive the engineer down here to hide waist deep in muck, but what?
Then a burst of guilt flashed through the captain. Trip obviously had been hurting about this, whatever it was, for some time and here Archer had been oblivious to his best friend's pain. He had wanted so badly to make the alien diplomats see the positive side of the human race, that he let himself be monopolized by his desire to make a good impression to a bunch of strangers. So much so, that in the process all but forgot to take care of his own crew, and now Trip was paying the price for his inattention.
It was then that Archer realized how much he had let his friend down. He vowed then and there to make things up to Trip, and he was going to start by finding out exactly what the problem was. "I know that something is wrong. Why don't you let me help you?"
"You want to help me?" Trip couldn't help but laugh. A quiet, bitter laugh. "It's a little late for that now, isn't it?"
This confirmed the captain's suspicions that he'd inadvertently hurt Trip somehow, but how? "What the hell does that mean?"
"You know."
"No, Trip, I don't." Archer sighed, feeling totally lost. Trip had said that like the captain should know what the hell he was talking about, but Archer had no clue. He felt like he was in the middle of a novel, but someone had ripped out the first chapter of the story and he was helpless to catch up.
"Yes you do!" Trip was just as exasperated, but for different reasons. Apparently the cap'n was pretendin' that he didn't know what was goin' on, which was a bunch of bull! Trip didn't know what Archer's game was, but suddenly he was gettin' tired of this discussion. "All right. You wanna know what's bothering me? We'll I'll tell ya. I know the truth about you an the Vulcan's!"
"The Vulcan's?" That came totally out of left field. Archer had only dealt with the Vulcan's on a diplomatic level and, as far as he knew, Trip hadn't had contact with any of the diplomats on this mission at all. "What the hell do they have to do with anything?"
Frustrated, Trip couldn't understand Archer's question. Why was the Cap'n playin' dumb? "Oh come on. Do I have to spell it out for ya?"
"Apparently yes."
"Oh, God." Trip was so upset that he lost his grip on the coil and it fell back into he muck. "Damn it. Now see what you made me do." Tucker picked up the coil and started brushing off of the dirt. "Now I have to start all over again." Trip thought that the situation applied to his busted career as well. "All over."
Archer took a different meaning. "Starting over sounds like a good idea." The captain said, still trying to get a handle on this. "Why don't we both pretend that I don't know what the hell you're talking about and start at the beginning, shall we?"
Trip couldn't believe that Archer was still pretendin' that he didn't know what was goin' on. Was the cap'n deliberately trying to torture him? "Why are you actin' this way?" He asked, almost desperately.
"Humor me."
"Okay, Cap'n, okay." Tucker gave in. Maybe the faster he cooperated, the faster Archer would go away. So he told his cap'n about accidentally listenin' in on the Vulcan's conversation. "At first I thought they were just sproutin' off like they always do, but then..."
"My, God." Archer cut him off as the full ramifications of the situation hit him. "Then I pulled you from the landing party, and when I did that you thought..."
Tucker ducked his head and Archer saw clearly that the engineer did indeed think that he was an embarrassment to this crew. The captain hastened to correct this impression. "Trip, listen to me. The only reason I pulled you from that landing party, and I mean the only reason, was to fix that engine. I needed to be here on time and I knew that you could get me here. I relied on you, Trip. I always do."
"But..." Could it be true? Trip wanted it to be, but he was still wary. "The Vulcan's?"
"Oh come on." Archer flared. "Since when do you think that I take orders from a bunch of Vulcan's?"
"I was so sure..." Trip still wasn't convinced. He had been kicking himself for so many days now, and his self-esteem was so low, he couldn't let himself believe that he was anythin' but a screw up. "I mean I do tend to run off at the mouth sometimes, and you're in the middle of some delicate negotiations. How do you know that I'm not gonna mess things up?"'
"How do I know?" Archer struggled for a moment, at a loss or words. He'd known Trip for so long, how could the engineer even question his worth? But he was and Archer had to do something. "Look, Trip. I've known you for more than eight years. Don't you think if I had a problem with you I would have figured it out by now?"
"I suppose." Trip still wasn't convinced. "But..."
"Listen to me. Do you know why I picked you for the mission, besides your engineering skills I mean?"
Tucker just shook his head.
"I wanted you with me 'because' you talk."
"What?" Trip was stunned. His imagination had been workin' overtime for the last few days, picturin' the worst. So much so that he could barely comprehend what the cap'n was really sayin'. Was it true? Did Archer really want him to actually speak up?
"Listen, Trip. I have to be very careful about what I say, everyday. As Captain of the Enterprise I am Starfleet's official representative out here, and as such, anything I say has to reflect official Earth policy. Now you and I both know that Earth's 'official position' isn't always the best one, or the formal impression that I have to project doesn't always give people the true idea of what humans are all about. That's why I need you, Trip."
"Me?" Tucker had no idea where the captain was going with this.
"I need someone who can tell the truth to these aliens and let them know what humans are really like, without jeopardizing our official position out here. I can't do that, Trip, but you can. You do. That's one of the reasons why I picked you for this mission. You're my voice, Trip."
"Really?" When Archer nodded Tucker was overwhelmed. Here he'd been assumin' the worst and apparently the opposite was true. It made Trip feel bad for thinkin' all the rotten things that he'd been thinkin' for the last couple of days. "I'm sorry, Cap'n. I guess I let my imagination run away with me."
"That's okay. I guess the circumstances were pretty incriminating." Archer smiled and decided to poke fun at his friend. "But really, Trip. Thinking I would cave into the demands from a couple of Vulcan's? Come on."
Trip heard the laughter in Archer's voice and knew the cap'n was having some fun at his expense. Good sport that he was, Tucker began to laugh at himself. "I guess I was kinda stupid, wasn't I Cap'n."
"Well, nobody's perfect, but don't do it again!" Archer pretended to make his voice stern, but his smile undid the effect.
"Yes sir." Trip to saluted and almost splattered more grime on his face.
Archer gestured to the muck. "Now why don't you get your butt out of here and get changed, Trip. I still have a party going on you know."
"I know that, Cap'n, but..." Trip looked at the slime around him. "It'll take more than an hour before I can get a replacement down here and I can't leave these coils exposed for that long." Trip winced. How he hated this job, but the was stuck. "I guess I'm gonna have to finish this up myself."
"An hour, huh?" Archer asked.
Trip nodded. Miserable again, but this time for a whole new reason.
"Well then," the captain made a captain like decision. "There's only one thing to do."
Tucker was expectin' Archer to get up and leave, but instead the cap'n leapt off of the platform and landed with a plop right down in the middle of the gunk.
"Woah..." Trip shielded his eyes as the sludge sprayed over him. When the danger of mud splattering had passed, Trip lowered his hand and looked at his friend. Archer's once pristine ship suit was now totally covered in grime as the captain stood hip deep in muck. "Just what the hell do you think you're doin'?"
"Two sets of hands are better than one, and with both of us working we'll get this job done in half the time."
"But your party?"
Archer shrugged. "They'll wait."
Trip was overwhelmed. Not only did Archer leave his party in order to cheer him up, now his friend was willing to make six diplomats wait, just for him. It seemed that Archer really did care. Trip handed the captain a coil and a brush, then the two friends began to work.
"So, Trip." Archer said as he started to scrub. "The Vulcan's were loving my little get together when I left, which means that the rest of us, including the Andorian Ambassador were more that a little bored. You wouldn't happen to have any ideas on how to liven things up a bit, would you?"
Dozens of concepts flowed through Trip's mind, each one more lively than the last, and none of them required him to be silent. As he began to share his ideas with the captain, Trip realized that he could finally put all of insecurities to rest. Confident that he really was a valid member of this crew, Tucker's his voice was ready to speak once again.
by: Braycat.
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, Paramount does. They're so lucky.
Trip Tucker was pleased with himself. It took some doin' but he finally was able to get Hoshi's portable translator all fixed up, and with a day to spare too. Enterprise was involved in it's first diplomatic mission, and the communications device would certainly be needed.
Yesterday they'd picked up a couple of Vulcan diplomats, and now they were headin' to the Denobulan home world to add a couple more officials to the delegation. Then finally Enterprise would take them all to the Andorian home world where the official talks would begin, and they would try to see if they could hammer out some peace-keepin' rules in the region.
Trip checked the translator again. Tucker knew that Hoshi would be okay speakin' Vulcan, Denobulan, or Andorian, but he and Archer would need a little help communicatin' their views to the others, and that was somethin' that Trip was lookin' forward to. Several of the meetin's and dinners were gonna be held aboard Enterprise and the engineer was gonna relish this opportunity to tell some of the alien's what he really thought about 'em and the truth as he saw it about humans. He made a beginnin' with the Vulcan's the night before. While he doubted that he changed their opinion of humans, it felt good to get his own views across.
The engineer fiddled with the device some more. While he thought that it was workin', he couldn't be sure until he actually used it to translate an alien's language. That meant havin' a chat with either T'Pol or Dr. Phlox. Thinkin' that the physician might be a little more willin' to help, he headed to sickbay.
He was halfway there when he heard the Vulcan's talkin' in their own language in an adjoinin' corridor. Tucker didn't intend to eavesdrop, but then he thought he heard them mention his name. Why would two Vulcan ambassador's be talkin' about him?
The key to the answer lay in his hand and Trip didn't even try to fight the impulse. He flipped on the translator and kept the volume low, so only he could hear what they were sayin'. The device worked perfectly as the Vulcan's words were transformed into English.
"What a most unpleasant duty," one Vulcan said to the other. "Listening to that human ramble last night called for the utmost patience that I could muster."
"It did for me as well." The other Vulcan agreed. "The human is long winded, very verbose, and very emotional."
"Not to mention very loud." Both Vulcan's appeared to shudder. "I hope that Captain Archer is wise enough to leave that particular human out of his diplomatic party. Commander Tucker's presence during these talks would not only be a disturbance, but would be an embarrassment to the captain..."
"Not to mention all of humanity." The other Vulcan finished.
Stunned, Trip had heard enough. He shut off the translator with an angry jerk and rapidly walked away from the Vulcan's. How dare they? Here he was only airin' his views and they made him out to be some loudmouth jerk. Now, Trip was realistic enough to admit that, on occasion, he'd been known to shoot off his mouth a little too much, and sometimes he had managed to end up sticking his foot in it, but Archer usually reacted with amusement on such occasions.
Amusement at his expense Tucker could tolerate, but an embarrassment to humanity? Was he really that obnoxious?
Nah. Trip couldn't believe that he was that big of a bore. If so Archer would have never picked him for this mission. Tucker convinced himself that he was lettin' his imagination run away with him. The cap'n would be takin' him with the rest of the party to the surface the next day, he was certain of it. Still, hearin' himself referred to as an embarrassment to the entire human race was unsettlin', even if it did come from a Vulcan, and despite Trip's best efforts, those hurtful words kept poppin' into his head for the rest of the afternoon.
------------
The next day he had bigger things to worry about when a plasma conduit that led to the warp reactor blew just as Enterprise reached orbit. Working quickly, Tucker and his team managed to put the fire out before much damage was done.
So, Tucker reported later when Cap'n Archer came to engineerin' to see for himself. "Most of the conduit is fried, but the surroundin' circuit's are okay. We should have the warp drive up and runnin' by tomorrow."
"Good. That should give me enough time to have my little pre-lim talks with the Vulcan and Denobulan envoy's and still break orbit on time tomorrow."
Still sensitive to what he overheard the day before, Trip's ears picked up at the captain's use of the word "I" in the last sentence. "I." Not "we." Archer couldn't really think of leavin' him behind, could he? He couldn't really think that Tucker was an embarrassment, could he? "Say, Cap'n, you're not goin' down there alone, are you?"
When Archer answered "of course not" Trip relaxed. He knew that he'd been lettin' his imagination run away with him. That is until he heard...
"I'm taking T'Pol with me."
"T'Pol?" Trip's surprise and dismay filled his voice. So much so that Archer finally noticed that something was wrong with the engineer. "I'm sorry, Trip. I know you wanted to come down to the surface with me, but I think it'd be best if you stayed here and tended to the engine."
"But, it's just a busted plasma conduit. My people can have it fixed in no time. They don't need me lookin' over their shoulder while they work."
"Never the less, I want you to oversee the work personally and get the warp drive up and running to full efficiency. It's important that we reach the Andorian home world on time and we can't afford any screw-ups."
With that last sentence Archer gave the impression that he was talking about the engine, but by now Trip was convinced that the cap'n was talkin' about him. Oh God, it was true. Archer was embarrassed to have Trip with him. He was ashamed of the engineer. Ashamed! Tucker fought down a wave of despair. He really was an embarrassment to humanity.
_______________
Malcolm Reed was starving. Making security arrangements to cover the captain's visit to the Denobulan home world, as well as securing all of the delegates and their parties when they came aboard Enterprise, had left him exhausted as well as ravenous.
He made his way to the Mess Hall and stopped short the second he stepped through the doorway. Something was not quite right here. The room was bathed in a rather subdued, eerie quiet, and it took the armory officer a minute to realize that the silence was exactly the problem. It was too quiet.
Usually the Mess Hall was a buzz with activity. There were always several groups of crew members who would cluster together and discuss the events of the day. Good day or bad, there was always something to talk about, but today... today everyone appeared to be eating, at best in quiet contemplation, and at worst, depressed.
Depressed. That's it. Everyone seemed down, but why? To his knowledge nothing was seriously wrong with anyone on Enterprise. With his position as armory officer he would have heard if there had been any really bad news. So what was going on?
Looking around, it didn't take him long to find the source of the trouble. For there, sitting all alone at a table by the window, was a very depressed Trip Tucker. The engineer wasn't eating, just toying with his food really, while he stared out the window with a dejected look on his face.
No wonder the crew was subdued. Reed knew that Tucker didn't realize it, but usually everyone else around him took their cue from him. His good natured, buoyant personality and optimistic outlook made him fun to be around, and usually the people near him sub-consciously copied his optimistic example. Apparently it looked like they followed his lead in the other direction as well. It seemed that when Trip Tucker was down, everyone around him was down, and for the life of him, Reed couldn't ever remember seeing Tucker this low before. Angry, yes. Amazed, yes. Even scared, but never depressed. Something must be horribly wrong.
Determined to help, Reed got his tray of food and went to sit next to his friend. "Good afternoon, Commander. May I join you?"
When Trip looked up at him Reed could see in his eyes that the answer was no, but apparently saying so out loud required too much energy because Tucker just shrugged and turned back to the window.
They sat in an uncomfortable silence for a few minutes. Reed found it a bit awkward to be the only one eating at the table, but he attempted to lighten the mood by trying to engage the commander in small talk. "So, how are the repairs to the warp drive coming?"
Trip barely heard Reed's question. He'd been up the whole night just thinkin' about Archer's perceived disappointment in him. In his mind's eye he recalled at least a dozen instances where he thought he'd been either funny, or witty, or charmin', but now, lookin' back in this new context, he was totally mortified at what he had said. Archer must have been thoroughly embarrassed. Trip thought it was amazing that the cap'n allowed him to come on this mission at all. In fact, by now Trip was so paranoid that he was afraid to say anythin' to anyone.
But Reed had asked him a question, and he supposed he would be rude if he didn't answer. Damned if he did and damned if he didn't. Well, he'd better say somethin' soon, or from the way Reed was lookin' at him, the Lieutenant would be haulin' his ass off to sickbay any minute. "I'm sorry, Malcolm. I kinda spaced there for a minute. What were you askin'?"
Reed was thoroughly worried now. Tucker couldn't even comprehend a simple question. This behavior was so unlike the engineer. "About the warp drive?"
"Ah." Trip nodded. "It's fine. It was only a fried plasma conduit. We got it fixed up in about four hours."
"Great. Then we're all set to move on to the Andorian home world.
"Yeah."
Was it's Reed's imagination, or did he hear a hint of despair in the commander's voice. Did whatever was bothering him have anything to do with the peace mission that they were on? Reed decided to try a cautious experiment. "Too bad that conduit blew. Otherwise you could have gone down to the surface with the captain."
In a way Reed's experiment was a spectacular success. Trip dropped his fork, hard onto the plate and within seconds the engineer was on his feet. "I'm sorry, Malcolm. I have to go."
"Please, Trip. Don't leave." Reed grabbed the engineer's arm and pulled him back down into his seat. "I'm sorry if I'm prying, but it's obvious that something is wrong. Something to do with the Captain?" Tucker flinched and looked away, confirming that Reed's question had hit right on target. "Trip, listen to me."
The engineer looked up at the sound of his first name. Malcolm hardly ever called him by that, so he must have somethin' important to say.
Seeing that he'd gotten the engineers attention, Reed continued. "Trip, I know we haven't been close friends for very long, but you know that you can talk to me about whatever's wrong. You're always there for me, encouraging me to open up, and I want you to know that I'm here for you too."
Trip was touched by Reed's admission. He felt that his whole friendship with Archer had been undermined by this thing, and it was good that he still had someone he could count on, but he wasn't ready to open up. Not, just yet. "Thanks, Malcolm. I appreciate your offer, I really do. I just need some times to think things through. Get 'em organized in my own mind before I talk to anyone else. Otherwise I won't make any sense."
Reed recognized an evasive tactic when he saw one, after all he was an expert at dodging such talk himself. He also saw that there was no changing Trip's mind. Not right then anyway. "All right, but please remember that whenever you are ready to talk, I am here to listen. Day or night."
Trip smiled then. The first genuine smile Reed had seen from him since he came in the room. "I'll remember, Malcolm. I promise." Trip started to leave, then turned back to face the armory officer. "I want you know that I really appreciate your friendship, Malcolm."
"I know." Reed all but whispered.
Trip nodded and left Malcolm to his table. Reed followed the engineer out of the room with worried eyes. What could have caused Tucker this much pain?
_________________
A few hours later all senior officers were required to greet the captain and the delegates upon their return from the planet. Archer was planning a more formal party once they reached the Andorian home world, but he wanted this little, informal get-together to help break the ice.
The captain was so busy making his guests feel at home, that he didn't notice that Trip was standing by himself in the corner, but Reed did. Usually Trip was smack dab in the middle of the crowd, engaging in small talk and lighting up any group with his stories, but not today. This time Tucker was standing well away from the activity, saying little, and looking totally miserable and lost. Like a man who felt that he didn't belong.
Reed glanced back at the captain, but Archer seemed oblivious to Tucker's misery. Reed knew that the captain was focused at the matter at hand, and that he was a little nervous. This was the first time that Enterprise was playing host to such an intergalactic party and Archer wanted to make a good impression. But still, Reed knew that Archer and Tucker had been close friends for years. You would think the captain would notice that something was terribly wrong.
But no, unnoticed by everyone but Reed, Trip waited a decent interval before slipping out of the room. Malcolm was beside himself with worry, but what to do? Tucker had all ready turned down his help. Reed knew that the engineer would probably open up to Archer, but would Trip get angry if he brought this to the captain's attention? Probably. Malcolm realized that he couldn't go to Captain Archer and just tell him flat out that something was wrong. There had to be another way.
___________
A day passed. The engine room gang wasn't surprised when Enterprise arrived safely at the Andorian home world because their chief engineer had kept a non stop vigil over their warp drive. Even though all systems were functioning normally since the plasma conduit blew, Tucker had hardly left the room.
Trip knew the team thought he was actin' strange, but right now he didn't feel comfortable bein' anywhere else on the ship. If he left the engine room he might have to speak to someone, and Trip's self-esteem was so low that he couldn't even face a simple conversation. So he just hid out with his engine and his tools which, at the moment, seemed to be his closest friends.
But apparently he wasn't the only one in need of friendship. When crewman Dillard walked by Trip noticed that he was wearing hip deep boots and was carrying a couple of long wire brushes, along with a bucket. The crewman looked like he was facing an invading army and those brushes were his only weapons.
"Hey, Dillard. Where you goin?" Trip asked, though he well knew the answer.
"I've been assigned to clean the injector coils, sir."
"I see." And Tucker did. Cleanin' out those coils was the worst job on the ship. No kind of automated system had ever been designed that was sensitive enough to give the coils the cleanin' that they needed without breakin' them. No, someone had to physically stand hip deep in muck and scrub the coils by hand. It was a dirty, miserable job that took hours.
No wonder Dillard had such a woebegone look on his face. Trip sighed. The crewman didn't know it yet, but he just got real lucky. "Hold it, Dillard. Give me that stuff."
Dillard stopped still. He had heard what Tucker had said all right, but the meaning refused to register in his mind. Why in the world would the commander ask for these things? Cleaning the coils was such an unpopular job, usually the lowest ranking crewman on the ship got stuck with the task. An officer never volunteered for such duty. Ever. Dillard must have misunderstood. "Sir?"
"You heard me right." Trip understood Dillard's confusion but made his voice firm. "Hand me the brushes. I'll take care of the coils this time."
"But sir..." the crewman protested, knowing full well that the captain's official welcoming party for the diplomats was going to start in a few minutes. "Aren't you expected in the Mess Hall?"
Trip allowed himself to laugh a small laugh, devoid of all humor. "Ah, the captain's party." Tucker grabbed the brushes. "I'm not invited," he all but whispered, fighting to keep the hurt out of his voice. Trip thought he succeeded, but looking at Dillard's confused face, Tucker knew that he needed to explain his odd behavior to the crewman. "Look Dillard. I wouldn't be good commander if I wasn't willin' to do the same jobs that I ask you guys to do. So..." Tucker gestured for the crewman to take the waders off. "Go on to the party." Trip ordered. "Have a good time."
"Yes sir." Dillard handed the tools over. He accepted Tucker's explanation, but couldn't help but notice that Tucker seemed to be a little depressed as he headed for the Jefferies tube. As he watched the commander leave, Dillard realized that he was actually feeling sorry for someone else doing that particular job instead of him. He mused on the irony of life as he headed for the mess hall.
____________
The party was in full swing when Reed arrived. The armory officer looked around, but wasn't surprised when he found that there was no sign of Trip. He sighed to himself. Something had to be done. Edging forward, he moved close enough to eavesdrop on a conversation that the captain was having with one of the Andorian diplomats.
"Boring party." The Ambassador complained. "I thought you humans were supposed to be a fun species."
Archer grit his teeth. Planning a party subdued enough to keep the Vulcan's happy, but lively enough to keep everyone else awake wasn't easy, and apparently he wasn't succeeding too well with the Andorian's.
The captain looked around. Where the hell was Trip? He'd been counting on the good natured, high spirits of the engineer to keep things lively, yet there was no sign of the commander. Archer began to get worried. Not only because he knew his party could be doomed to failure without Tucker there to help out, but it wasn't like Trip to not show up for something this important. It was just dawning on Archer that maybe something was wrong with his friend.
"I'm sorry, Ambassador. I do have something in mind to liven things up a bit, so if you'll excuse me for a few minutes, I'll see how the preparations are coming."
"It better be good." The ambassador grumbled.
Archer moved off. Right now he didn't have time to worry about the Andorian's feelings, he had to find Trip. Desperate, the captain caught sight of Reed and headed his way. "Malcolm, have you seen Commander Tucker?"
Ah, Malcolm thought. The captain has finally caught on. "No sir. I'm afraid I haven't."
"This is a very important party. He's supposed to be here."
"Yes sir, he is. I can't understand it." Reed lied. He wasn't going to tell Archer the truth outright, but how to spill the beans? Then as if sent by the heavens as an answer, Reed spotted Dillard entering the room. The armory officer waved him over. "Crewman Dillard, have you seen Commander Tucker?
"Yes sir," Dillard affirmed. "He's cleaning out the plasma coils."
"He's what?" The captain wasn't sure he'd heard that right.
"I was all set to do it," Dillard admitted, "but the commander volunteered. He said that he wouldn't ask any of his men to do anything that he wouldn't do himself."
"He did?" Archer asked, surprise filling his voice.
"Yes sir." Oblivious to the captain's strange reaction, Dillard went on. "It's things like this that make me proud to serve under Commander Tucker. He's a fine officer sir."
"Yes, very fine." Archer echoed absentmindedly. His mind was working at full speed but he was still having trouble comprehending this turn of events.
Spotting Chef's appetizer table Dillard excused himself left them alone to ponder Trip's actions.
Reed saw that the time to nudge was now. "Excuse me sir, you know Commander Tucker better than I do, but don't you think that Trip volunteering for such duty is just a little odd?"
"More than a little." In fact, Trip's actions made no sense at all. Archer clearly remembered the day Trip was promoted to Lieutenant. The first thing that his friend did was to dance a happy dance because he knew that he would never have to clean one of those mucky coils ever again. So why the hell was he doing it now? "Something's wrong here and I'm going to find out what." He turned to Reed. "Hold the fort, Lieutenant."
"Yes sir." Reed relaxed for the first time in days, as he watched his captain leave the mess hall. Finally Trip was going to get the help he needed, from the person he needed. Reed was sure of it.
______________
Careful not to bump his head on the ceiling, Archer walked carefully along the narrow Jefferies Tube. He wasn't even sure if he was heading in the right direction. Even as captain, he very rarely had visited the bowels of his ship, but the destination became clearer when he heard muffled cursing from just ahead. Continuing forward, Archer emerged onto a small platform. There just below him, standing knee deep in muck was his best friend.
Covered with grime, Tucker was struggling to clean a coil that kept rollin' away from him with his every move. "Come on you son of a... stay put!"
"Hey, Trip!"
Archer's voice startled the engineer so much that his body involuntarily jumped and he hit his head on a protrusion right above him. "Damn, it!" Trip exclaimed.
"Oh, sorry." Archer apologized from his perch on the ledge. "Did you hurt yourself?"
"No, not at all." Trip rubbed the sore spot, trying to hide his shock at finding Archer down here of all places. "I always like bangin' my head onto solid objects."
"Sorry..." Archer's voice trailed off. He didn't quite know what to say next.
Trip still couldn't believe that he was really seein' Archer perched on that platform. "What are you doin' here, Cap'n?" The engineer couldn't help but let a bit of the bitterness slip into his voice. "I thought you had a party to run."
Archer picked up on the tone, but sure as hell didn't know what caused it. "I did, but things weren't going so well."
Suddenly tense, Trip pretended to totally concentrate on rubbing his brush along the coil, but he spared Archer enough of his attention to ask the question that was burning in his mind. "So you had a problem, did you?"
Archer nodded. "No one was having a good time. It took me awhile to realize that something was missing. Something very important."
"Oh?" Trip turned away. He continued to scrub, although the coil in his hand was now clean, he used his work as an excuse not to look at Archer. "What was that?"
Archer's voice softened. "You were missing, Trip."
Tucker nearly dropped the clean coil back into the muck. "Me? Why am I so important?"
"You know why." To Archer the question was irrelevant. Tucker had so many obvious qualities that his worth was clearly apparent. Trip knew how much Archer valued him, or did he? Archer's eyes narrowed. Maybe his positive attributes were obvious to everyone, everyone that is but the engineer himself. "What the hell's going on here, Trip?"
"Nothin'." Trip turned his attention back to the coil in his hand.
"Don't give me that." Archer clearly heard the hurt in Trip's voice. Something must have happened to drive the engineer down here to hide waist deep in muck, but what?
Then a burst of guilt flashed through the captain. Trip obviously had been hurting about this, whatever it was, for some time and here Archer had been oblivious to his best friend's pain. He had wanted so badly to make the alien diplomats see the positive side of the human race, that he let himself be monopolized by his desire to make a good impression to a bunch of strangers. So much so, that in the process all but forgot to take care of his own crew, and now Trip was paying the price for his inattention.
It was then that Archer realized how much he had let his friend down. He vowed then and there to make things up to Trip, and he was going to start by finding out exactly what the problem was. "I know that something is wrong. Why don't you let me help you?"
"You want to help me?" Trip couldn't help but laugh. A quiet, bitter laugh. "It's a little late for that now, isn't it?"
This confirmed the captain's suspicions that he'd inadvertently hurt Trip somehow, but how? "What the hell does that mean?"
"You know."
"No, Trip, I don't." Archer sighed, feeling totally lost. Trip had said that like the captain should know what the hell he was talking about, but Archer had no clue. He felt like he was in the middle of a novel, but someone had ripped out the first chapter of the story and he was helpless to catch up.
"Yes you do!" Trip was just as exasperated, but for different reasons. Apparently the cap'n was pretendin' that he didn't know what was goin' on, which was a bunch of bull! Trip didn't know what Archer's game was, but suddenly he was gettin' tired of this discussion. "All right. You wanna know what's bothering me? We'll I'll tell ya. I know the truth about you an the Vulcan's!"
"The Vulcan's?" That came totally out of left field. Archer had only dealt with the Vulcan's on a diplomatic level and, as far as he knew, Trip hadn't had contact with any of the diplomats on this mission at all. "What the hell do they have to do with anything?"
Frustrated, Trip couldn't understand Archer's question. Why was the Cap'n playin' dumb? "Oh come on. Do I have to spell it out for ya?"
"Apparently yes."
"Oh, God." Trip was so upset that he lost his grip on the coil and it fell back into he muck. "Damn it. Now see what you made me do." Tucker picked up the coil and started brushing off of the dirt. "Now I have to start all over again." Trip thought that the situation applied to his busted career as well. "All over."
Archer took a different meaning. "Starting over sounds like a good idea." The captain said, still trying to get a handle on this. "Why don't we both pretend that I don't know what the hell you're talking about and start at the beginning, shall we?"
Trip couldn't believe that Archer was still pretendin' that he didn't know what was goin' on. Was the cap'n deliberately trying to torture him? "Why are you actin' this way?" He asked, almost desperately.
"Humor me."
"Okay, Cap'n, okay." Tucker gave in. Maybe the faster he cooperated, the faster Archer would go away. So he told his cap'n about accidentally listenin' in on the Vulcan's conversation. "At first I thought they were just sproutin' off like they always do, but then..."
"My, God." Archer cut him off as the full ramifications of the situation hit him. "Then I pulled you from the landing party, and when I did that you thought..."
Tucker ducked his head and Archer saw clearly that the engineer did indeed think that he was an embarrassment to this crew. The captain hastened to correct this impression. "Trip, listen to me. The only reason I pulled you from that landing party, and I mean the only reason, was to fix that engine. I needed to be here on time and I knew that you could get me here. I relied on you, Trip. I always do."
"But..." Could it be true? Trip wanted it to be, but he was still wary. "The Vulcan's?"
"Oh come on." Archer flared. "Since when do you think that I take orders from a bunch of Vulcan's?"
"I was so sure..." Trip still wasn't convinced. He had been kicking himself for so many days now, and his self-esteem was so low, he couldn't let himself believe that he was anythin' but a screw up. "I mean I do tend to run off at the mouth sometimes, and you're in the middle of some delicate negotiations. How do you know that I'm not gonna mess things up?"'
"How do I know?" Archer struggled for a moment, at a loss or words. He'd known Trip for so long, how could the engineer even question his worth? But he was and Archer had to do something. "Look, Trip. I've known you for more than eight years. Don't you think if I had a problem with you I would have figured it out by now?"
"I suppose." Trip still wasn't convinced. "But..."
"Listen to me. Do you know why I picked you for the mission, besides your engineering skills I mean?"
Tucker just shook his head.
"I wanted you with me 'because' you talk."
"What?" Trip was stunned. His imagination had been workin' overtime for the last few days, picturin' the worst. So much so that he could barely comprehend what the cap'n was really sayin'. Was it true? Did Archer really want him to actually speak up?
"Listen, Trip. I have to be very careful about what I say, everyday. As Captain of the Enterprise I am Starfleet's official representative out here, and as such, anything I say has to reflect official Earth policy. Now you and I both know that Earth's 'official position' isn't always the best one, or the formal impression that I have to project doesn't always give people the true idea of what humans are all about. That's why I need you, Trip."
"Me?" Tucker had no idea where the captain was going with this.
"I need someone who can tell the truth to these aliens and let them know what humans are really like, without jeopardizing our official position out here. I can't do that, Trip, but you can. You do. That's one of the reasons why I picked you for this mission. You're my voice, Trip."
"Really?" When Archer nodded Tucker was overwhelmed. Here he'd been assumin' the worst and apparently the opposite was true. It made Trip feel bad for thinkin' all the rotten things that he'd been thinkin' for the last couple of days. "I'm sorry, Cap'n. I guess I let my imagination run away with me."
"That's okay. I guess the circumstances were pretty incriminating." Archer smiled and decided to poke fun at his friend. "But really, Trip. Thinking I would cave into the demands from a couple of Vulcan's? Come on."
Trip heard the laughter in Archer's voice and knew the cap'n was having some fun at his expense. Good sport that he was, Tucker began to laugh at himself. "I guess I was kinda stupid, wasn't I Cap'n."
"Well, nobody's perfect, but don't do it again!" Archer pretended to make his voice stern, but his smile undid the effect.
"Yes sir." Trip to saluted and almost splattered more grime on his face.
Archer gestured to the muck. "Now why don't you get your butt out of here and get changed, Trip. I still have a party going on you know."
"I know that, Cap'n, but..." Trip looked at the slime around him. "It'll take more than an hour before I can get a replacement down here and I can't leave these coils exposed for that long." Trip winced. How he hated this job, but the was stuck. "I guess I'm gonna have to finish this up myself."
"An hour, huh?" Archer asked.
Trip nodded. Miserable again, but this time for a whole new reason.
"Well then," the captain made a captain like decision. "There's only one thing to do."
Tucker was expectin' Archer to get up and leave, but instead the cap'n leapt off of the platform and landed with a plop right down in the middle of the gunk.
"Woah..." Trip shielded his eyes as the sludge sprayed over him. When the danger of mud splattering had passed, Trip lowered his hand and looked at his friend. Archer's once pristine ship suit was now totally covered in grime as the captain stood hip deep in muck. "Just what the hell do you think you're doin'?"
"Two sets of hands are better than one, and with both of us working we'll get this job done in half the time."
"But your party?"
Archer shrugged. "They'll wait."
Trip was overwhelmed. Not only did Archer leave his party in order to cheer him up, now his friend was willing to make six diplomats wait, just for him. It seemed that Archer really did care. Trip handed the captain a coil and a brush, then the two friends began to work.
"So, Trip." Archer said as he started to scrub. "The Vulcan's were loving my little get together when I left, which means that the rest of us, including the Andorian Ambassador were more that a little bored. You wouldn't happen to have any ideas on how to liven things up a bit, would you?"
Dozens of concepts flowed through Trip's mind, each one more lively than the last, and none of them required him to be silent. As he began to share his ideas with the captain, Trip realized that he could finally put all of insecurities to rest. Confident that he really was a valid member of this crew, Tucker's his voice was ready to speak once again.