Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews everyone. I've got several more stories which I'll post soon.
Chapter 2: More Insanity and the Touching Conclusion
**********
Four figures skipped together down a yellow brick road in the middle of a dark and spooky forest. Miaka was in a blue apron and shiny red slippers. Chichiri was dressed in what looked like silver scrap metal. Tomo wore very baggy and torn clothes with crows circling around his head. Tasuki was dressed as what appeared to be a lion. Tama-neko trotted along behind them.
The four oddly dressed people were saying some sort of bizarre chant that sounded like; "Lions and tigers and bears no da!"
Click
Nuriko sweatdropped. "I'm not even going to bother trying to figure that one out."
**********
Six people in sailor outfits were lying on a little raft that bobbed along the surface of the ocean. All of them were moaning and clutching their stomachs. From his position at the stern of the raft, Tatara could see Hikitsu looking beyond the horizon.
"Still no sign of land? How long has it been?"
"Thirty three days, sir," Hikitsu replied.
Tatara cried out in disbelief. "Thirty three days?"
Hikitsu shook his head in despair. "We can't go on much longer, sir. We haven't eaten since the fifth day."
"We're done for! We're done for!" Miaka whined.
"Shut up, Miaka!" Tatara hissed. "We've just got to keep hoping. Someone may find us."
On the opposite end of the raft, Ashitare was leaning over Chiriko. "How're we feeling, Captain?"
Chiriko groaned as he sat up. "Not too good. I feel so weak."
"We can't hold on much longer," Hikitsu called to Chiriko.
The child prodigy crossed his arms and stiffened his upper lip. "Listen, chaps, there's still a chance. I'm done for. I've got a gammy leg and I'm going fast. I'll never get through, but some of you might. So…you'd better eat me."
"Eat you, sir?" Hikitsu cried out in disbelief.
"Yes, eat me," Chiriko nodded.
"Eugh! With a gammy leg!?" Ashitare's face twisted in disgust.
Chiriko snapped back at the wolf man. "You wouldn't eat the leg, Ashitare, there's still plenty of good meat. Look at that arm!"
"It's not just the leg, sir." Miaka muttered.
"What do you mean?" Chiriko glared.
"Well sir, it's just that…" Suzaku no Miko trailed off.
"Why don't you want to eat me?"
"I'd rather eat Amiboshi, sir," she blurted out.
"So would I, sir," Ashitare piped up.
"I see…" Chiriko now glared at the final member of the group.
"Well, it's settled then. Everyone's gonna eat me!" Amiboshi smiled cheerfully.
Tatara looked less than pleased. "Oh…well…"
Hikitsu looked up. "What sir?"
"Oh go ahead, please. But I won't…"
Amiboshi offered an arm to Tatara. "Oh nonsense, sir, you're starving. Tuck in!"
"No, no, it's not that."
"What's the matter with Amiboshi, sir?" Ashitare asked.
"Well, he's not kosher."
"That depends how we kill him, sir." Miaka started rummaging through a supply bag for a knife, or gun, or something to bump Amiboshi off with.
"Yes, that's true," Hikitsu agreed as he helped Miaka look for some form of weapon.
"But to be perfectly frank," Tatara continued. "I…I like my meat a little more lean. I'd rather eat Hikitsu."
Hikitsu shrugged his shoulders indifferently. "Oh well, all right."
"I'd still prefer Amiboshi," Miaka pouted.
"I wish you'd all stop bickering and eat me," Chiriko grumbled under his breath.
Hikitsu stood up and addressed the entire group. "Look, I tell you what. Those who want to can eat Amiboshi, and you, sir, can have my leg, and we'll make some stock from the captain, and then we'll have Amiboshi cold for supper."
The others nodded and voiced their agreement before looking for any tools of death that they could find.
"What do you think, Ashitare?" Miaka asked the wolf man who hadn't said anything.
"I think…" Ashitare trailed off as he advanced toward the others. "I'll just eat all of you!"
Click
"Gross! I don't think I've ever seen that much blood since Ashitare killed me!" Nuriko shrieked. Bored with the programming, he rapidly flipped through the channels. "There's gotta be something halfway decent on…hold it!" He switched back to a channel he had passed earlier. A figure covered from head to toe in black armor with bright blonde hair sticking out from under his helmet was fighting a very handsome man with waist length brown hair. "Cute guy alert!"
**********
Hotohori Skywalker battled for his life against Darth Nakago on the narrow catwalk inside Cloud City. The air filled with crackling and hissing sounds as their two lightsabers crashed together. Hotohori knew that one false step would mean falling to his doom. Failure to block one of Darth Nakago's attacks would cost him his life. Darth Nakago could feel Hotohori begin to tire out from the intensity of the battle.
"Don't let yourself be destroyed as Obi-Wan did, boy," Darth Nakago's lifeless voice hissed through his facemask.
Hotohori refused to give up. He poured all of his strength into keeping himself alive. He suddenly hesitated. Darth Nakago took full advantage of the situation and, with one swipe of his lightsaber, sliced Hotohori's hair off at the neck. Hotohori stumbled backwards in pain. His hair, his beautiful hair, was gone. He staggered backwards to the edge of the catwalk blankly.
Darth Nakago lowered his lightsaber and held out a hand to Hotohori who was cowering in fear. "Hotohori, join me and together we can end this destructive conflict between us."
Even though he was still in shock from the drastic haircut, Hotohori answered in a very shaky voice. "I'll never join you!"
"Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father."
"He told me enough," Hotohori growled while trying to hold back the lump in his throat. "He told me you killed him."
"No," Darth Nakago replied firmly. "I am your father!"
Hotohori's eyes widened in shock. "My father is BLONDE!? NOOOOOOO!!!!!"
Click
Nuriko began to sob uncontrollably. "Poor, poor Hotohori Skywalker. How could that horrible guy in a tasteless outfit cut such beautiful hair? There's no way that such a handsome man could be the son of such a tacky dresser!" Sniffling, Nuriko changed the channel.
**********
"It's 'Tasuki's World', 'Tasuki's World', Party Time, Excellent! WHOOOOO!!"
Tasuki and Tomite were sitting on a set that looked like somebody's basement. Tasuki was wearing a black tee shirt and jeans ripped at the knees. His red hair was sticking out from under a black "Tasuki's World" hat. Tomite was in a short sleeved plaid shirt with a white tee shirt underneath, and ripped jeans as well. Tomite was also wearing a long, messy blonde wig and nerdy black glasses.
"All right, excellent," Tasuki replied as he put his guitar away. "Welcome to 'Tasuki's World'. I'm Tasuki and with me is always Tomite."
"Party on, Tasuki."
"Party on, Tomite. Tonight, we have one of the hottest babes in the history of ancient China."
"Yeah, if she were president she'd be Baberham Lincoln."
"All right, please welcome Soi!"
Tasuki ripped out a few heavy metal chords as Soi came down the stairs in a halter-top and tight leather pants and sat down on the couch next to Tomite.
Tomite leaned over and whispered to Tasuki, who was trying to stop his nose from bleeding. "Oh man, she is so hot. I think I'm gonna hurl."
Tasuki whispered back. "Then hurl. If you blow chunks and she comes back to you, she's yours. If you spew and she bolts, it was never meant to be."
"Are you boys going to ask me some questions or not? Or do you just want to kill me again, Tasuki?" Soi asked in an annoyed fashion.
"Yes," Tasuki replied nervously as he pulled out a cue card. "Soi, do you believe the rumor that bra's cause breast cancer?"
Soi snorted in disgust. "How should I know? I've never worn a bra before in my life."
Tomite's hands trembled as he stared at Soi's promiscuous bust. "You can say that again."
Meanwhile, Tasuki had passed out from blood loss in his nose. In a very cheap dream sequence, he was dancing in a field of phono records with a pink cow in an orange sweater that had a chibi Tasuki printed on the front.
"Oi, Tasuki!" Tomite's voice brought Tasuki back to his senses. "Don't you think we should share the wealth?" He gestured towards Soi's chest.
"Indeed, my friend. In fact, let's show this to the viewers at home. EXTREME CLOSE-UP!!!!"
Click
"Ugh, it's no wonder kids are so corrupted these days," Nuriko grumbled. "Still, she does have a nice-ACK! Don't think about her, Nuriko!" the violet haired seishi reached into a hidden pocket and pulled out an eight- by-ten glossy of Hotohori and started to drool over it. "It's OK! I still love you Hotohori-sama!"
**********
"Welcome back to 'The Jerry Springer Show'. Today's topic is 'I'm-Sleeping- With-Someone-A-Lot-Better-Than-You-Could-Ever-Hope-To-Be. Right now, we've got Yui here with her ex boyfriend, Suboshi."
Behind Jerry, Yui sat in a chair with a very dirty grin on her face. Suboshi just looked pale.
"Why, Yui-sama?" Suboshi pleaded with puppy dog eyes. "You know how much I love you. I worship the ground you walk on. Why would you do this to me?"
Yui exploded. "Are you kidding? You never take me anywhere nice! Our last date was to a yo-yo museum!"
"Ooooooooh!" The audience groaned sympathetically.
"It doesn't stop there!" Yui continued. "In all the time we've been together, you've never mentioned sex once! I'm a woman! I do have needs you know!"
"Would you like to respond to that last comment, sir?" Jerry handed the mic to Tamahome.
"Yeah I wanna say something," Tamahome growled at Suboshi. "Yui needs a real man. That's why she always comes to my place after every date she has with you. Forget Miaka, I'm all the man that Yui needs."
"What the hell do you know!?" Nakago yelled as he stood up in the audience. "She might sleep with you now, but I'm the one that got it on with her every night since she first arrived in Kutou."
"Yui-sama?" Suboshi yelled as he fell out of his chair.
Yui shrugged. "So what? The way you guys screw leaves a lot to be desired."
"Oooooooh!" The audience gasped.
Yui smile devilishly at the three stunned guys staring at her with wide eyes. "I've finally found someone who's a tiger under the sheets."
"Who?" Tamahome bellowed. "Who is it? I'll kill him!"
"If you kill him, you'll be killing one of your allies," Yui replied matter- of-factly.
"I knew it!" Nakago yelled. "It's Tasuki or that horny emperor of Konan!"
"While we're on the subject," Jerry interrupted. "Why don't we bring out Yui's new lover. Everyone please welcome…Mitsukake!"
The audience didn't respond as Mitsukake stepped on stage and sat next to Yui. The audience was too busy facevaulting to say anything. Mitsukake took full advantage of the silence, and immediately started groping Yui as she kissed him sensually.
Suboshi, Tamahome, and Nakago finally recovered from the shock. Suboshi summoned forth his yo-yos of doom ™ while both Nakago and Tamahome's symbols began to glow on their foreheads.
"You asshole!" They shouted together.
Mitsukake rolled his eyes at them and mumbled. "I didn't expect some kind of Buddhist inquisition."
With a loud crash, Chichiri, Miboshi, and Tatara burst through the scenery and on to the stage.
"Who said that no da?" Chichiri demanded.
"What?" Mitsukake muttered.
Chichiri cut him off. "Don't play games with me no da! Our weapons are fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, and an almost fanatical devotion to the four-ooooooh! Ah, Cardinal Miboshi no da?"
"Here lord," Miboshi floated up to Chichiri.
"There's only one thing to do no da. We must torture him and obtain a signed-two! Two things to do no da. One: torture no da. Two: obtain a signed confession no da. And three: nothing! There is no third thing no da! Is that clear no da? Miboshi?"
"Yes, lord?"
"We have to extricate the truth from this unbeliever on pain of torture no da! Get…The Comfy Chair no da!"
"The Comfy Chair!" Miboshi gasped.
"The Comfy Chair?" Tatara turned pale.
"The Comfy Chair!" Yui squeaked as she pulled her shirt off.
"The Comfy Chair?" Mitsukake shrugged as he unsnapped Yui's bra in front of the audience.
"The Comfy Chair!" Tamahome and Nakago cried as they began to grope each other.
"The Comfy Chair!" The audience screamed as a fistfight broke out in the front row.
Click
"While they're all saying the comfy chair, I'll see what else is on."
**********
The deep blackness of space appeared on screen. Thousands of tiny stars twinkled in the background. Suddenly, a ship shaped like Suzaku came bolting across the screen. As the camera followed the ship, Hotohori's voice could be heard.
"Emperor's log, entry twenty hundred something. We, the crew of the S.S. Chicken of Doom, are on a five-year mission to boldly go where no sane person has ever gone before. Of course, all that I care about now is finding the best beauty salon in the universe. Anyway, we have recently entered some uncharted galaxy. Whoopdie-do. I'll bet the inhabitants of this system have never seen such beauty as mine before." Something made a thumping noise as it whacked Hotohori on the head. "Ouch! That hurt! I am going to have a lump there now, Tamahome! Getting back to business, we have recently received reports of Seiryu warships in this area. I really hope they don't find us, though. I can't stand to see anything that hideous! Hey! Give my log back to me, Tasuki! Don't do that, it is mine! No wait! Don't throw it into the garbage compactor! Aw shit!"
Within the interior of the Chicken of Doom, the Suzaku seishi, along with their miko, were hard at work at different stations. Well, some of them were working. Miaka was eating as usual and Tasuki was just pressing random buttons. Hotohori sat in the command chair, gazing at his reflection in one of many hand mirrors. Without warning, the ship suddenly shook violently and red lights started to flash. Hotohori yelped as his mirror fell between the cushions of his seat.
"Whatever it is, I didn't do it!" Tasuki called from his seat.
"Hotohori!" Miaka squealed through a mouthful of food. "There's a Seiryu warship on the starboard bow!"
Hotohori frowned. "What do you make of this, Mr. Chichiri?"
Chichiri, now with pointy ears, kept his face neutral and his voice in monotone. "It would appear that we have been ambushed, Heika no da."
"Indeed…" Hotohori mumbled to himself. "Tamahome, set up communications with the enemy ship."
"Hai," Tamahome replied as he pressed some random buttons.
On the screen in front of them, Tomo, Miboshi, and Ashitare appeared.
Tomo glared at the Suzaku seishi through the screen. "Crew of the S.S. Chicken of Doom, we, the great Seiryu seishi, demand that you surrender to us at once. If you do not, we will have no choice but to fire our death ray at you. Of course, we don't really want you to surrender. We like to blow things up. Kekekeke!"
Hotohori glanced over at the ship's doctor. "What do you think, Dr. Mitsukake? I believe a little rouge and a decent hair stylist could fix those guys right up."
"Dammit, Heika, I'm a doctor, not a beautician!"
Hotohori turned back to the screen. "Very well, you leave us no choice but to fight man to…whatever." He pressed a speaker button on his chair. "Chiriko, beam me up!"
"Aye, Heika-sama!" Chiriko's voice, in a cheap Scottish accent, came through the speaker.
A bright red light surrounded Hotohori, and he instantly vanished. The three Seiryu seishi looked around, but Hotohori was nowhere to be found on their ship.
"What's going on?" Tomo demanded.
"Relax," Chiriko suddenly appeared on the bridge of the Chicken of Doom. "I just sent him to a galaxy far far away. Maybe he'll meet his father while he's gone."
All of the seishi, both Suzaku and Seiryu, began to cheer.
Chichiri sat down in the captain's chair. "As the oldest of the Suzaku, I appoint myself the new captain no da. Would you three Seiryu seishi like to join us for some tea and cookies no da?"
On screen, Tomo's eyes filled with tears. "No one has ever invited me over for tea and cookies before. This is the happiest day of my life! We'll be right over."
"Now that that's settled, lets head to Sirius no da. Those people are always partying no da."
The crew cheered and formed a conga line with Tomo in the lead.
Click
"Ok, that show defies any logical explanation I can think of. I might as well try the music videos again. Who knows, I might just find something decent this time."
**********
Inside a techno club, brightly colored lights were flashing. Upbeat Latino music blared through at least ten giant speakers that reached up to the ceiling. Subaru, Soi, Yui, and Miaka were dancing very around sensually in very revealing tube tops and mini skirts on a little stage in the center of the club. Tokaki, dressed in a loose black shirt and tight black pants, danced along with Subaru as he sang.
"She's into superstition,
Black cats and voodoo dolls.
I feel a premonition,
That girl's gonna make me fall."
As Tokaki sang, the four ladies started to dance more exotically. Meanwhile, Tokaki was suddenly drenched in water that was thrown from behind the scenes.
1.1.1 "She'll make you take your clothes off
And go dancing in the rain.
She'll make you live her crazy life
And she'll take away your pain
Like a bullet to your brain!"
Subaru and Tokaki suddenly started to do the most erotic dance together. Thankfully, no clothes came off.
1.1.2 "Upside, inside out
She's living la vida loca!
She'll push and pull you down
Living la vida loca!
Her lips are devil red
And her skin's the color, moca!
She will wear you out
Living la vida loca!"
Subaru suddenly stopped dancing.
"Wait a minute, I don't look like what you described!"
Meanwhile, Tokaki had slipped away and started dancing even more erotically than before with Soi. This time, Tokaki's shirt had mysteriously disappeared. Subaru glared at her husband and proceeded to smack the living daylights out of him. While that was going on, Miaka tripped over her feet and crashed into Yui. Both of the mikos fell over, which resulted in their skirts flying up. Soi just kept dancing.
Click
"Ok, I was wrong. All of the music videos suck! Wait a minute, I haven't seen any cartoons yet."
**********
"Buzz Buzz Buzz,"
The smiley face phone was ringing. Tamahome, Chiriko, and Nakago leapt out of bed. Each of them was a in different colored dress with their hair done in cute little girl styles. Nakago, in a tiny pink dress, pulled his long hair back into a pony tail and secured it with a pretty little heart clip before picking up the phone.
"Powerpuff hotline…" Nakago answered in a sweet soprano voice. "What? We'll be right there, Miss Subaru!"
Nakago turned to Tamahome, in a green dress, and Chiriko, in pigtails and a blue dress, "Let's go!"
In a flash of pink, green, and blue, the three juvenile super heroes crashed through the roof and flew to the center of Townsville. They arrived in the Mayor's office, now in shambles, a few seconds later. Miss Subaru, the Mayor's secretary was waiting for them.
"Thank goodness you're here, girls. The Mayor was kidnapped while I was writing out his latest speech. I don't know where he is or who kidnapped him."
"Relax," Tamahome cracked his knuckles. "We'll find the kidnapper. Then we'll smash and punch and smack and crash and then he'll be sorry."
"Nakago raised a hand. "Hold on, Tamahome. We can't just go around Townsville and destroy everything."
"Yes we can."
"No we can't."
"Yes we can."
"No we can't."
While the two siblings argued, Chiriko was engaged in a very stimulating conversation with a squirrel that looked surprisingly like Tama-neko.
"Cheep cheep cheep."
"Cheep cheep cheep cheep."
"Cheep cheep."
"Cheep cheep cheep."
"Cheep cheep cheep."
"Cheep."
"Cheep cheep?"
"Cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep."
"Cheep."
"Um…Chiriko…" Tamahome sweatdropped. "What are you doing?"
"Chiriko smiled. "The squirrel just told me that Miboshi Jojo kidnapped the Mayor and is now holding him in the observatory on the volcano in the middle of the park." He turned back to the squirrel. "Cheep cheep cheep."
"Cheep cheep cheep cheep."
"Cheep cheep."
"Cheep cheep cheep?"
"Cheep."
Chiriko turned back to the others. "And the squirrel now knows that the three of us are really guys.
Click
"Geeze," Nuriko sweatdropped. "Are there any kiddy shows out there that don't involve cross dressers. Not that there's anything wrong with cross dressing."
**********
Amiboshi popped up on screen in a press trench coat. "Hi-ho! Amiboshi the Seiryu here! Today's show is brought to you by the character 'oni'."
In the background, Tasuki fried Tamahome with his tessen, causing the blue- haired seishi's symbol to flare up on his forehead. Tasuki was then blown away.
Amiboshi, looking more than a bit frightened, came back on the screen. "Uh…right. Now let's go to Big Bird for a fun song that's all about the color yellow!"
Cheerful music started to play. Little yellow birds appeared in a banana tree and began to sing while the bananas themselves hummed along. Big Bird suddenly ran across the screen with a very hungry Ashitare snapping at his heels.
"Aaaaaaaaaahhh!" Big Bird screamed. "Somebody help meeeeeeee!"
Tomite poked his head out of a trash can behind the banana tree. "Quiet! You're screaming is interrupting my grouchiness!"
Mitsukake lumbered on screen in a very hairy brown costume with a brown trunk tied to his face. "Please don't fight you guys. Someone always gets hurt. Isn't that right, Count Von Tokaki?"
Tokaki, in a vampire costume, was too busy counting the women in his Playboy magazine to respond. "One woman, two women, three women, four women, five women! Ah ha ha ha!"
Amidst the chaos in the background, Tomo appeared on screen. "If you've enjoyed this song and would like to hear more high quality music, then you will love the new 'Songs of the Buddhist Inquisition'."
Chichiri, Tatara, and Miboshi scrambled on screen, running over Tomo in the process. Chichiri and Tatara linked arms and performed a poorly choreographed kick line while Miboshi clapped his hands to some fast, but unheard, rhythm. The three of them sang together in a harmony that would blow out a dog's eardrums.
"Itooshi hito no tame ni, ima nani ga dekiruka na? Kanawanai yume wa nai yo! Massugu ni shinjiteru! Hey!"
Click
"That was beyond disturbing," Nuriko grumbled.
"Nuriko! What the hell is going on here!"
Nuriko found himself staring directly into Taiitskun's haggard face.
"What do you mean, Taiitskun?" The cross dresser asked; the perfect picture of innocence.
The goddess' frown deepened. "I just found out from Genbu that the other seishi were zapped into the TV because of 'divine' intervention. And yet you are just sitting here on your butt and stuffing your face. Didn't you even notice that the others were gone?"
"I thought it was a little too quiet in here."
"Oh never mind. I guess it's up to me to get them all out."
"Wait, Taiitskun! Can't I just watch one more show?" Nuriko pleaded with puppy dog eyes.
The goddess sweatdropped. "Fine."
**********
As the sun peeked up on the horizon, a choir of trumpets began to play a few chords. Upon hitting the third chord, an entire symphony blasted two chords in response. This pattern of music moved up the scale as twenty figures traveled down a steep and rocky cliff. All of them were Neanderthals; the beginning of human evolution. They were all different looking. Their hair ranged from long brown or white to bright orange or blue with gravity defying bangs. They came to a stop in front of a huge black monolith, hidden in the shadows of the vanishing night.
The sun rose higher and the shadows around the monolith began to fade. All twenty savages screamed and beat the ground with bone clubs as the monolith's true shape was revealed to be…a giant statue of Taiitskun.
"What the hell do you all think you're doing!?" the statue suddenly bellowed.
Everyone screamed and ran. In a flash of light, they were in a pile back in Taiitskun's palace; with Nuriko on the bottom.
"Nuriko!" Miaka squeaked. "Where've you been?"
"Yeah, a-ho!" Tasuki growled. "Where were you while the rest of us were going through hell inside that thing?"
"Oh I see," Suboshi snatched the remote out of Nuriko's hand. "You were just sitting on your butt, watching us."
"Hey, come on!" Nuriko shoved the others off of himself. "I didn't know how to get you guys out of there. So, I had to let Taiitskun take care of it. After all, I'm only a ghost. Geeze, you guys should at least be thankful for getting out of there. I didn't expect some kind of Buddhist Inquisition."
Chichiri jumped to his feet. "Nnnnnnnoooooooooobody expects-"
"Shut up!" Everyone yelled at once.
In a few minutes, everyone was settled around the room, channel surfing. That is, everyone except Nuriko and Chichiri. Both were bound and gagged in the back of the room, feebly trying to ward off the masses of Nyan- Nyans.
More Author's Notes: OK. This is the list of all the stuff I used in this fic that I don't own. They belong to all the wonderful screen writers, producers, directors, and other lucky people who own them.
1)"Who Wants To Be a Millionaire"
2)"The Spanish Inquisition" Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 (The Comfy Chair), and Revisited from "Monty Python's Flying Circus" ( I used the version from the two CD set "Monty Python: The final rip off", not the actual Spanish Inquisition episode)
4)"The Matrix"
5)"The Real World"
6)"Robin Hood: Men In Tights"
7)"Frozen" by Madonna
8)"Titanic"
9)"The Brady Bunch"
10)"The Wizard of Oz"
11)"Cannibalism" from Monty Python's Flying Circus (I got this one off of the Monty Python CDs as well. I've never seen the actual skit, but I thought it was too funny to leave out)
12)"The Empire Strikes Back"
13)"Wayne's World"
14)"The Jerry Springer Show"
15)"Star Trek"
16)"Livin La Vida Loca" by Ricky Martin"
17)"The Powerpuff Girls"
18)"Sesame Street"
19)"2001: A Space Odyssey"
On the other hand, I do own the pink cow in an orange sweater with a chibi Tasuki on the front. I have a picture of it hanging up in my room.
Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews everyone. I've got several more stories which I'll post soon.
Chapter 2: More Insanity and the Touching Conclusion
**********
Four figures skipped together down a yellow brick road in the middle of a dark and spooky forest. Miaka was in a blue apron and shiny red slippers. Chichiri was dressed in what looked like silver scrap metal. Tomo wore very baggy and torn clothes with crows circling around his head. Tasuki was dressed as what appeared to be a lion. Tama-neko trotted along behind them.
The four oddly dressed people were saying some sort of bizarre chant that sounded like; "Lions and tigers and bears no da!"
Click
Nuriko sweatdropped. "I'm not even going to bother trying to figure that one out."
**********
Six people in sailor outfits were lying on a little raft that bobbed along the surface of the ocean. All of them were moaning and clutching their stomachs. From his position at the stern of the raft, Tatara could see Hikitsu looking beyond the horizon.
"Still no sign of land? How long has it been?"
"Thirty three days, sir," Hikitsu replied.
Tatara cried out in disbelief. "Thirty three days?"
Hikitsu shook his head in despair. "We can't go on much longer, sir. We haven't eaten since the fifth day."
"We're done for! We're done for!" Miaka whined.
"Shut up, Miaka!" Tatara hissed. "We've just got to keep hoping. Someone may find us."
On the opposite end of the raft, Ashitare was leaning over Chiriko. "How're we feeling, Captain?"
Chiriko groaned as he sat up. "Not too good. I feel so weak."
"We can't hold on much longer," Hikitsu called to Chiriko.
The child prodigy crossed his arms and stiffened his upper lip. "Listen, chaps, there's still a chance. I'm done for. I've got a gammy leg and I'm going fast. I'll never get through, but some of you might. So…you'd better eat me."
"Eat you, sir?" Hikitsu cried out in disbelief.
"Yes, eat me," Chiriko nodded.
"Eugh! With a gammy leg!?" Ashitare's face twisted in disgust.
Chiriko snapped back at the wolf man. "You wouldn't eat the leg, Ashitare, there's still plenty of good meat. Look at that arm!"
"It's not just the leg, sir." Miaka muttered.
"What do you mean?" Chiriko glared.
"Well sir, it's just that…" Suzaku no Miko trailed off.
"Why don't you want to eat me?"
"I'd rather eat Amiboshi, sir," she blurted out.
"So would I, sir," Ashitare piped up.
"I see…" Chiriko now glared at the final member of the group.
"Well, it's settled then. Everyone's gonna eat me!" Amiboshi smiled cheerfully.
Tatara looked less than pleased. "Oh…well…"
Hikitsu looked up. "What sir?"
"Oh go ahead, please. But I won't…"
Amiboshi offered an arm to Tatara. "Oh nonsense, sir, you're starving. Tuck in!"
"No, no, it's not that."
"What's the matter with Amiboshi, sir?" Ashitare asked.
"Well, he's not kosher."
"That depends how we kill him, sir." Miaka started rummaging through a supply bag for a knife, or gun, or something to bump Amiboshi off with.
"Yes, that's true," Hikitsu agreed as he helped Miaka look for some form of weapon.
"But to be perfectly frank," Tatara continued. "I…I like my meat a little more lean. I'd rather eat Hikitsu."
Hikitsu shrugged his shoulders indifferently. "Oh well, all right."
"I'd still prefer Amiboshi," Miaka pouted.
"I wish you'd all stop bickering and eat me," Chiriko grumbled under his breath.
Hikitsu stood up and addressed the entire group. "Look, I tell you what. Those who want to can eat Amiboshi, and you, sir, can have my leg, and we'll make some stock from the captain, and then we'll have Amiboshi cold for supper."
The others nodded and voiced their agreement before looking for any tools of death that they could find.
"What do you think, Ashitare?" Miaka asked the wolf man who hadn't said anything.
"I think…" Ashitare trailed off as he advanced toward the others. "I'll just eat all of you!"
Click
"Gross! I don't think I've ever seen that much blood since Ashitare killed me!" Nuriko shrieked. Bored with the programming, he rapidly flipped through the channels. "There's gotta be something halfway decent on…hold it!" He switched back to a channel he had passed earlier. A figure covered from head to toe in black armor with bright blonde hair sticking out from under his helmet was fighting a very handsome man with waist length brown hair. "Cute guy alert!"
**********
Hotohori Skywalker battled for his life against Darth Nakago on the narrow catwalk inside Cloud City. The air filled with crackling and hissing sounds as their two lightsabers crashed together. Hotohori knew that one false step would mean falling to his doom. Failure to block one of Darth Nakago's attacks would cost him his life. Darth Nakago could feel Hotohori begin to tire out from the intensity of the battle.
"Don't let yourself be destroyed as Obi-Wan did, boy," Darth Nakago's lifeless voice hissed through his facemask.
Hotohori refused to give up. He poured all of his strength into keeping himself alive. He suddenly hesitated. Darth Nakago took full advantage of the situation and, with one swipe of his lightsaber, sliced Hotohori's hair off at the neck. Hotohori stumbled backwards in pain. His hair, his beautiful hair, was gone. He staggered backwards to the edge of the catwalk blankly.
Darth Nakago lowered his lightsaber and held out a hand to Hotohori who was cowering in fear. "Hotohori, join me and together we can end this destructive conflict between us."
Even though he was still in shock from the drastic haircut, Hotohori answered in a very shaky voice. "I'll never join you!"
"Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father."
"He told me enough," Hotohori growled while trying to hold back the lump in his throat. "He told me you killed him."
"No," Darth Nakago replied firmly. "I am your father!"
Hotohori's eyes widened in shock. "My father is BLONDE!? NOOOOOOO!!!!!"
Click
Nuriko began to sob uncontrollably. "Poor, poor Hotohori Skywalker. How could that horrible guy in a tasteless outfit cut such beautiful hair? There's no way that such a handsome man could be the son of such a tacky dresser!" Sniffling, Nuriko changed the channel.
**********
"It's 'Tasuki's World', 'Tasuki's World', Party Time, Excellent! WHOOOOO!!"
Tasuki and Tomite were sitting on a set that looked like somebody's basement. Tasuki was wearing a black tee shirt and jeans ripped at the knees. His red hair was sticking out from under a black "Tasuki's World" hat. Tomite was in a short sleeved plaid shirt with a white tee shirt underneath, and ripped jeans as well. Tomite was also wearing a long, messy blonde wig and nerdy black glasses.
"All right, excellent," Tasuki replied as he put his guitar away. "Welcome to 'Tasuki's World'. I'm Tasuki and with me is always Tomite."
"Party on, Tasuki."
"Party on, Tomite. Tonight, we have one of the hottest babes in the history of ancient China."
"Yeah, if she were president she'd be Baberham Lincoln."
"All right, please welcome Soi!"
Tasuki ripped out a few heavy metal chords as Soi came down the stairs in a halter-top and tight leather pants and sat down on the couch next to Tomite.
Tomite leaned over and whispered to Tasuki, who was trying to stop his nose from bleeding. "Oh man, she is so hot. I think I'm gonna hurl."
Tasuki whispered back. "Then hurl. If you blow chunks and she comes back to you, she's yours. If you spew and she bolts, it was never meant to be."
"Are you boys going to ask me some questions or not? Or do you just want to kill me again, Tasuki?" Soi asked in an annoyed fashion.
"Yes," Tasuki replied nervously as he pulled out a cue card. "Soi, do you believe the rumor that bra's cause breast cancer?"
Soi snorted in disgust. "How should I know? I've never worn a bra before in my life."
Tomite's hands trembled as he stared at Soi's promiscuous bust. "You can say that again."
Meanwhile, Tasuki had passed out from blood loss in his nose. In a very cheap dream sequence, he was dancing in a field of phono records with a pink cow in an orange sweater that had a chibi Tasuki printed on the front.
"Oi, Tasuki!" Tomite's voice brought Tasuki back to his senses. "Don't you think we should share the wealth?" He gestured towards Soi's chest.
"Indeed, my friend. In fact, let's show this to the viewers at home. EXTREME CLOSE-UP!!!!"
Click
"Ugh, it's no wonder kids are so corrupted these days," Nuriko grumbled. "Still, she does have a nice-ACK! Don't think about her, Nuriko!" the violet haired seishi reached into a hidden pocket and pulled out an eight- by-ten glossy of Hotohori and started to drool over it. "It's OK! I still love you Hotohori-sama!"
**********
"Welcome back to 'The Jerry Springer Show'. Today's topic is 'I'm-Sleeping- With-Someone-A-Lot-Better-Than-You-Could-Ever-Hope-To-Be. Right now, we've got Yui here with her ex boyfriend, Suboshi."
Behind Jerry, Yui sat in a chair with a very dirty grin on her face. Suboshi just looked pale.
"Why, Yui-sama?" Suboshi pleaded with puppy dog eyes. "You know how much I love you. I worship the ground you walk on. Why would you do this to me?"
Yui exploded. "Are you kidding? You never take me anywhere nice! Our last date was to a yo-yo museum!"
"Ooooooooh!" The audience groaned sympathetically.
"It doesn't stop there!" Yui continued. "In all the time we've been together, you've never mentioned sex once! I'm a woman! I do have needs you know!"
"Would you like to respond to that last comment, sir?" Jerry handed the mic to Tamahome.
"Yeah I wanna say something," Tamahome growled at Suboshi. "Yui needs a real man. That's why she always comes to my place after every date she has with you. Forget Miaka, I'm all the man that Yui needs."
"What the hell do you know!?" Nakago yelled as he stood up in the audience. "She might sleep with you now, but I'm the one that got it on with her every night since she first arrived in Kutou."
"Yui-sama?" Suboshi yelled as he fell out of his chair.
Yui shrugged. "So what? The way you guys screw leaves a lot to be desired."
"Oooooooh!" The audience gasped.
Yui smile devilishly at the three stunned guys staring at her with wide eyes. "I've finally found someone who's a tiger under the sheets."
"Who?" Tamahome bellowed. "Who is it? I'll kill him!"
"If you kill him, you'll be killing one of your allies," Yui replied matter- of-factly.
"I knew it!" Nakago yelled. "It's Tasuki or that horny emperor of Konan!"
"While we're on the subject," Jerry interrupted. "Why don't we bring out Yui's new lover. Everyone please welcome…Mitsukake!"
The audience didn't respond as Mitsukake stepped on stage and sat next to Yui. The audience was too busy facevaulting to say anything. Mitsukake took full advantage of the silence, and immediately started groping Yui as she kissed him sensually.
Suboshi, Tamahome, and Nakago finally recovered from the shock. Suboshi summoned forth his yo-yos of doom ™ while both Nakago and Tamahome's symbols began to glow on their foreheads.
"You asshole!" They shouted together.
Mitsukake rolled his eyes at them and mumbled. "I didn't expect some kind of Buddhist inquisition."
With a loud crash, Chichiri, Miboshi, and Tatara burst through the scenery and on to the stage.
"Who said that no da?" Chichiri demanded.
"What?" Mitsukake muttered.
Chichiri cut him off. "Don't play games with me no da! Our weapons are fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, and an almost fanatical devotion to the four-ooooooh! Ah, Cardinal Miboshi no da?"
"Here lord," Miboshi floated up to Chichiri.
"There's only one thing to do no da. We must torture him and obtain a signed-two! Two things to do no da. One: torture no da. Two: obtain a signed confession no da. And three: nothing! There is no third thing no da! Is that clear no da? Miboshi?"
"Yes, lord?"
"We have to extricate the truth from this unbeliever on pain of torture no da! Get…The Comfy Chair no da!"
"The Comfy Chair!" Miboshi gasped.
"The Comfy Chair?" Tatara turned pale.
"The Comfy Chair!" Yui squeaked as she pulled her shirt off.
"The Comfy Chair?" Mitsukake shrugged as he unsnapped Yui's bra in front of the audience.
"The Comfy Chair!" Tamahome and Nakago cried as they began to grope each other.
"The Comfy Chair!" The audience screamed as a fistfight broke out in the front row.
Click
"While they're all saying the comfy chair, I'll see what else is on."
**********
The deep blackness of space appeared on screen. Thousands of tiny stars twinkled in the background. Suddenly, a ship shaped like Suzaku came bolting across the screen. As the camera followed the ship, Hotohori's voice could be heard.
"Emperor's log, entry twenty hundred something. We, the crew of the S.S. Chicken of Doom, are on a five-year mission to boldly go where no sane person has ever gone before. Of course, all that I care about now is finding the best beauty salon in the universe. Anyway, we have recently entered some uncharted galaxy. Whoopdie-do. I'll bet the inhabitants of this system have never seen such beauty as mine before." Something made a thumping noise as it whacked Hotohori on the head. "Ouch! That hurt! I am going to have a lump there now, Tamahome! Getting back to business, we have recently received reports of Seiryu warships in this area. I really hope they don't find us, though. I can't stand to see anything that hideous! Hey! Give my log back to me, Tasuki! Don't do that, it is mine! No wait! Don't throw it into the garbage compactor! Aw shit!"
Within the interior of the Chicken of Doom, the Suzaku seishi, along with their miko, were hard at work at different stations. Well, some of them were working. Miaka was eating as usual and Tasuki was just pressing random buttons. Hotohori sat in the command chair, gazing at his reflection in one of many hand mirrors. Without warning, the ship suddenly shook violently and red lights started to flash. Hotohori yelped as his mirror fell between the cushions of his seat.
"Whatever it is, I didn't do it!" Tasuki called from his seat.
"Hotohori!" Miaka squealed through a mouthful of food. "There's a Seiryu warship on the starboard bow!"
Hotohori frowned. "What do you make of this, Mr. Chichiri?"
Chichiri, now with pointy ears, kept his face neutral and his voice in monotone. "It would appear that we have been ambushed, Heika no da."
"Indeed…" Hotohori mumbled to himself. "Tamahome, set up communications with the enemy ship."
"Hai," Tamahome replied as he pressed some random buttons.
On the screen in front of them, Tomo, Miboshi, and Ashitare appeared.
Tomo glared at the Suzaku seishi through the screen. "Crew of the S.S. Chicken of Doom, we, the great Seiryu seishi, demand that you surrender to us at once. If you do not, we will have no choice but to fire our death ray at you. Of course, we don't really want you to surrender. We like to blow things up. Kekekeke!"
Hotohori glanced over at the ship's doctor. "What do you think, Dr. Mitsukake? I believe a little rouge and a decent hair stylist could fix those guys right up."
"Dammit, Heika, I'm a doctor, not a beautician!"
Hotohori turned back to the screen. "Very well, you leave us no choice but to fight man to…whatever." He pressed a speaker button on his chair. "Chiriko, beam me up!"
"Aye, Heika-sama!" Chiriko's voice, in a cheap Scottish accent, came through the speaker.
A bright red light surrounded Hotohori, and he instantly vanished. The three Seiryu seishi looked around, but Hotohori was nowhere to be found on their ship.
"What's going on?" Tomo demanded.
"Relax," Chiriko suddenly appeared on the bridge of the Chicken of Doom. "I just sent him to a galaxy far far away. Maybe he'll meet his father while he's gone."
All of the seishi, both Suzaku and Seiryu, began to cheer.
Chichiri sat down in the captain's chair. "As the oldest of the Suzaku, I appoint myself the new captain no da. Would you three Seiryu seishi like to join us for some tea and cookies no da?"
On screen, Tomo's eyes filled with tears. "No one has ever invited me over for tea and cookies before. This is the happiest day of my life! We'll be right over."
"Now that that's settled, lets head to Sirius no da. Those people are always partying no da."
The crew cheered and formed a conga line with Tomo in the lead.
Click
"Ok, that show defies any logical explanation I can think of. I might as well try the music videos again. Who knows, I might just find something decent this time."
**********
Inside a techno club, brightly colored lights were flashing. Upbeat Latino music blared through at least ten giant speakers that reached up to the ceiling. Subaru, Soi, Yui, and Miaka were dancing very around sensually in very revealing tube tops and mini skirts on a little stage in the center of the club. Tokaki, dressed in a loose black shirt and tight black pants, danced along with Subaru as he sang.
"She's into superstition,
Black cats and voodoo dolls.
I feel a premonition,
That girl's gonna make me fall."
As Tokaki sang, the four ladies started to dance more exotically. Meanwhile, Tokaki was suddenly drenched in water that was thrown from behind the scenes.
1.1.1 "She'll make you take your clothes off
And go dancing in the rain.
She'll make you live her crazy life
And she'll take away your pain
Like a bullet to your brain!"
Subaru and Tokaki suddenly started to do the most erotic dance together. Thankfully, no clothes came off.
1.1.2 "Upside, inside out
She's living la vida loca!
She'll push and pull you down
Living la vida loca!
Her lips are devil red
And her skin's the color, moca!
She will wear you out
Living la vida loca!"
Subaru suddenly stopped dancing.
"Wait a minute, I don't look like what you described!"
Meanwhile, Tokaki had slipped away and started dancing even more erotically than before with Soi. This time, Tokaki's shirt had mysteriously disappeared. Subaru glared at her husband and proceeded to smack the living daylights out of him. While that was going on, Miaka tripped over her feet and crashed into Yui. Both of the mikos fell over, which resulted in their skirts flying up. Soi just kept dancing.
Click
"Ok, I was wrong. All of the music videos suck! Wait a minute, I haven't seen any cartoons yet."
**********
"Buzz Buzz Buzz,"
The smiley face phone was ringing. Tamahome, Chiriko, and Nakago leapt out of bed. Each of them was a in different colored dress with their hair done in cute little girl styles. Nakago, in a tiny pink dress, pulled his long hair back into a pony tail and secured it with a pretty little heart clip before picking up the phone.
"Powerpuff hotline…" Nakago answered in a sweet soprano voice. "What? We'll be right there, Miss Subaru!"
Nakago turned to Tamahome, in a green dress, and Chiriko, in pigtails and a blue dress, "Let's go!"
In a flash of pink, green, and blue, the three juvenile super heroes crashed through the roof and flew to the center of Townsville. They arrived in the Mayor's office, now in shambles, a few seconds later. Miss Subaru, the Mayor's secretary was waiting for them.
"Thank goodness you're here, girls. The Mayor was kidnapped while I was writing out his latest speech. I don't know where he is or who kidnapped him."
"Relax," Tamahome cracked his knuckles. "We'll find the kidnapper. Then we'll smash and punch and smack and crash and then he'll be sorry."
"Nakago raised a hand. "Hold on, Tamahome. We can't just go around Townsville and destroy everything."
"Yes we can."
"No we can't."
"Yes we can."
"No we can't."
While the two siblings argued, Chiriko was engaged in a very stimulating conversation with a squirrel that looked surprisingly like Tama-neko.
"Cheep cheep cheep."
"Cheep cheep cheep cheep."
"Cheep cheep."
"Cheep cheep cheep."
"Cheep cheep cheep."
"Cheep."
"Cheep cheep?"
"Cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep."
"Cheep."
"Um…Chiriko…" Tamahome sweatdropped. "What are you doing?"
"Chiriko smiled. "The squirrel just told me that Miboshi Jojo kidnapped the Mayor and is now holding him in the observatory on the volcano in the middle of the park." He turned back to the squirrel. "Cheep cheep cheep."
"Cheep cheep cheep cheep."
"Cheep cheep."
"Cheep cheep cheep?"
"Cheep."
Chiriko turned back to the others. "And the squirrel now knows that the three of us are really guys.
Click
"Geeze," Nuriko sweatdropped. "Are there any kiddy shows out there that don't involve cross dressers. Not that there's anything wrong with cross dressing."
**********
Amiboshi popped up on screen in a press trench coat. "Hi-ho! Amiboshi the Seiryu here! Today's show is brought to you by the character 'oni'."
In the background, Tasuki fried Tamahome with his tessen, causing the blue- haired seishi's symbol to flare up on his forehead. Tasuki was then blown away.
Amiboshi, looking more than a bit frightened, came back on the screen. "Uh…right. Now let's go to Big Bird for a fun song that's all about the color yellow!"
Cheerful music started to play. Little yellow birds appeared in a banana tree and began to sing while the bananas themselves hummed along. Big Bird suddenly ran across the screen with a very hungry Ashitare snapping at his heels.
"Aaaaaaaaaahhh!" Big Bird screamed. "Somebody help meeeeeeee!"
Tomite poked his head out of a trash can behind the banana tree. "Quiet! You're screaming is interrupting my grouchiness!"
Mitsukake lumbered on screen in a very hairy brown costume with a brown trunk tied to his face. "Please don't fight you guys. Someone always gets hurt. Isn't that right, Count Von Tokaki?"
Tokaki, in a vampire costume, was too busy counting the women in his Playboy magazine to respond. "One woman, two women, three women, four women, five women! Ah ha ha ha!"
Amidst the chaos in the background, Tomo appeared on screen. "If you've enjoyed this song and would like to hear more high quality music, then you will love the new 'Songs of the Buddhist Inquisition'."
Chichiri, Tatara, and Miboshi scrambled on screen, running over Tomo in the process. Chichiri and Tatara linked arms and performed a poorly choreographed kick line while Miboshi clapped his hands to some fast, but unheard, rhythm. The three of them sang together in a harmony that would blow out a dog's eardrums.
"Itooshi hito no tame ni, ima nani ga dekiruka na? Kanawanai yume wa nai yo! Massugu ni shinjiteru! Hey!"
Click
"That was beyond disturbing," Nuriko grumbled.
"Nuriko! What the hell is going on here!"
Nuriko found himself staring directly into Taiitskun's haggard face.
"What do you mean, Taiitskun?" The cross dresser asked; the perfect picture of innocence.
The goddess' frown deepened. "I just found out from Genbu that the other seishi were zapped into the TV because of 'divine' intervention. And yet you are just sitting here on your butt and stuffing your face. Didn't you even notice that the others were gone?"
"I thought it was a little too quiet in here."
"Oh never mind. I guess it's up to me to get them all out."
"Wait, Taiitskun! Can't I just watch one more show?" Nuriko pleaded with puppy dog eyes.
The goddess sweatdropped. "Fine."
**********
As the sun peeked up on the horizon, a choir of trumpets began to play a few chords. Upon hitting the third chord, an entire symphony blasted two chords in response. This pattern of music moved up the scale as twenty figures traveled down a steep and rocky cliff. All of them were Neanderthals; the beginning of human evolution. They were all different looking. Their hair ranged from long brown or white to bright orange or blue with gravity defying bangs. They came to a stop in front of a huge black monolith, hidden in the shadows of the vanishing night.
The sun rose higher and the shadows around the monolith began to fade. All twenty savages screamed and beat the ground with bone clubs as the monolith's true shape was revealed to be…a giant statue of Taiitskun.
"What the hell do you all think you're doing!?" the statue suddenly bellowed.
Everyone screamed and ran. In a flash of light, they were in a pile back in Taiitskun's palace; with Nuriko on the bottom.
"Nuriko!" Miaka squeaked. "Where've you been?"
"Yeah, a-ho!" Tasuki growled. "Where were you while the rest of us were going through hell inside that thing?"
"Oh I see," Suboshi snatched the remote out of Nuriko's hand. "You were just sitting on your butt, watching us."
"Hey, come on!" Nuriko shoved the others off of himself. "I didn't know how to get you guys out of there. So, I had to let Taiitskun take care of it. After all, I'm only a ghost. Geeze, you guys should at least be thankful for getting out of there. I didn't expect some kind of Buddhist Inquisition."
Chichiri jumped to his feet. "Nnnnnnnoooooooooobody expects-"
"Shut up!" Everyone yelled at once.
In a few minutes, everyone was settled around the room, channel surfing. That is, everyone except Nuriko and Chichiri. Both were bound and gagged in the back of the room, feebly trying to ward off the masses of Nyan- Nyans.
More Author's Notes: OK. This is the list of all the stuff I used in this fic that I don't own. They belong to all the wonderful screen writers, producers, directors, and other lucky people who own them.
1)"Who Wants To Be a Millionaire"
2)"The Spanish Inquisition" Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 (The Comfy Chair), and Revisited from "Monty Python's Flying Circus" ( I used the version from the two CD set "Monty Python: The final rip off", not the actual Spanish Inquisition episode)
4)"The Matrix"
5)"The Real World"
6)"Robin Hood: Men In Tights"
7)"Frozen" by Madonna
8)"Titanic"
9)"The Brady Bunch"
10)"The Wizard of Oz"
11)"Cannibalism" from Monty Python's Flying Circus (I got this one off of the Monty Python CDs as well. I've never seen the actual skit, but I thought it was too funny to leave out)
12)"The Empire Strikes Back"
13)"Wayne's World"
14)"The Jerry Springer Show"
15)"Star Trek"
16)"Livin La Vida Loca" by Ricky Martin"
17)"The Powerpuff Girls"
18)"Sesame Street"
19)"2001: A Space Odyssey"
On the other hand, I do own the pink cow in an orange sweater with a chibi Tasuki on the front. I have a picture of it hanging up in my room.