A/N: Well, here's another chapter made just for Astra Angel8965! I hope anyone else who reads it likes it. This will probably be the last one, I think I could seriously do better. I'll probably start some Oz fics soon. R/R!
Dear Willow,
Sometimes I wonder. Is the wolf trapped inside me? Or am I trapped inside the wolf. Is this my body? Or it's? Is this a power, or a sentence. What is the purpose of this. Was I meant to have the wolf inside of me? Maybe I could use it to help Buffy fight. No, there's no knowing who's side I would be on. I could end up doing the opposite. That's why I have to either find a cure, or a way to control the wolf. It's the only way. I can't keep putting lives in danger every time I change. Maybe, if I find a cure, I can help others who are in my situation. Of course, unless they're like Veruca. I can't even think about her. What I did.... I just can't think about it. That's another reason I needed to go. I can't control myself when I'm the wolf. It's as if I'm trapped inside my own body. In a coma. Dead. It's a full moon tonight. The change is coming. I need to get this journal out of reach. Goodnight, sweet Willow...
-Oz
Dear Willow,
I keep having this dream. I'm at the Bronze. On stage with the Dingoes. You're in the crowd. I'm playing the guitar. I'm not even paying attention to what I'm doing. I'm just letting my fingers do the work. I don't even miss a chord. I just keep playing and playing. Our eyes are locked. Suddenly we're the only two people in the whole world. Then it's the night before graduation. That magical night. It plays over and over in my head. And then, when everything is so perfect, the wolf comes out and lets out a howl. You start to cry, knowing what I will do to you. Buffy, Xander, and Giles stand around just observing, doing nothing, as I tear you to shreds. Every night I have this dream. Sometimes during the day. I'm scared to even close my eyes, because whenever I do, I see your face. So terrified. Of me. Crying. I see it every time. It's more than I can bear.
-Oz
Dear Willow,
I'm in Venice, Italy. There are so many Wicca shops. You would love it. Maybe I'll take you one day. When I'm no longer a danger to you. I think this may be the place. The place that will have my cure. There is a powerful Wiccan here by the name of Sophia Fascellini. She said she might be able to help me. The wolf... I've finally realized, is inside of me all the time. A full moon isn't the only time it can come out. It's good that I didn't find this out the hard way. Sometimes I wonder, though. Maybe I could learn to harness my power. Well, at least make it a power. So, maybe I could control it. Make the wolf come out when I want it to. But I would also have to be able to control myself. I would have to learn to control my actions when I am the wolf. Is the wolf trapped inside of me? Or am I trapped inside of the wolf? Those are the questions that I need answere before I can come back to you. It would be great to go back to the way things were. But I can't. Not anymore. Not until I find the cure. And I will.
-Oz
Dear Willow,
I've found it. The cure. I'm on my way back to you. I've missed you so much. I can't stop smiling. Just knowing that I will see you makes me so happy. I know you'll be waiting for me. Now we can be together. No more chains, cages, restraints. We can see eachother any time. I hope you've still been keeping track of the moon. You'll be surprized when I take you for a walk under the light of the full moon. I can't wait to see the look on your face. I wouldn't give up seeing that smile for the world. I'm coming home to you Willow. I love you.
-Oz
Dear Willow,
Sometimes I wonder. Is the wolf trapped inside me? Or am I trapped inside the wolf. Is this my body? Or it's? Is this a power, or a sentence. What is the purpose of this. Was I meant to have the wolf inside of me? Maybe I could use it to help Buffy fight. No, there's no knowing who's side I would be on. I could end up doing the opposite. That's why I have to either find a cure, or a way to control the wolf. It's the only way. I can't keep putting lives in danger every time I change. Maybe, if I find a cure, I can help others who are in my situation. Of course, unless they're like Veruca. I can't even think about her. What I did.... I just can't think about it. That's another reason I needed to go. I can't control myself when I'm the wolf. It's as if I'm trapped inside my own body. In a coma. Dead. It's a full moon tonight. The change is coming. I need to get this journal out of reach. Goodnight, sweet Willow...
-Oz
Dear Willow,
I keep having this dream. I'm at the Bronze. On stage with the Dingoes. You're in the crowd. I'm playing the guitar. I'm not even paying attention to what I'm doing. I'm just letting my fingers do the work. I don't even miss a chord. I just keep playing and playing. Our eyes are locked. Suddenly we're the only two people in the whole world. Then it's the night before graduation. That magical night. It plays over and over in my head. And then, when everything is so perfect, the wolf comes out and lets out a howl. You start to cry, knowing what I will do to you. Buffy, Xander, and Giles stand around just observing, doing nothing, as I tear you to shreds. Every night I have this dream. Sometimes during the day. I'm scared to even close my eyes, because whenever I do, I see your face. So terrified. Of me. Crying. I see it every time. It's more than I can bear.
-Oz
Dear Willow,
I'm in Venice, Italy. There are so many Wicca shops. You would love it. Maybe I'll take you one day. When I'm no longer a danger to you. I think this may be the place. The place that will have my cure. There is a powerful Wiccan here by the name of Sophia Fascellini. She said she might be able to help me. The wolf... I've finally realized, is inside of me all the time. A full moon isn't the only time it can come out. It's good that I didn't find this out the hard way. Sometimes I wonder, though. Maybe I could learn to harness my power. Well, at least make it a power. So, maybe I could control it. Make the wolf come out when I want it to. But I would also have to be able to control myself. I would have to learn to control my actions when I am the wolf. Is the wolf trapped inside of me? Or am I trapped inside of the wolf? Those are the questions that I need answere before I can come back to you. It would be great to go back to the way things were. But I can't. Not anymore. Not until I find the cure. And I will.
-Oz
Dear Willow,
I've found it. The cure. I'm on my way back to you. I've missed you so much. I can't stop smiling. Just knowing that I will see you makes me so happy. I know you'll be waiting for me. Now we can be together. No more chains, cages, restraints. We can see eachother any time. I hope you've still been keeping track of the moon. You'll be surprized when I take you for a walk under the light of the full moon. I can't wait to see the look on your face. I wouldn't give up seeing that smile for the world. I'm coming home to you Willow. I love you.
-Oz