Author's note: I wasn't planning on writing more, but I got some reviews and thought,"what the heck". I hope you guys like it! Thanks for reviewing!
Dear Willow,
I can't beleive it. I thought for sure you would be waiting for me. I guess that was just selfish. How could I expect you to wait? You didn't even think I would come back. When I found out about you and Tara, I was devastated. Or maybe, that isn't even the right word. I can't even find words to tell you how hurt I was. Now, more than ever, I wish I had never left. I wish things could just go back to the way they were before. Werewolf and all. I miss my life. I used to know my place in the world. I was Oz. Willow's boyfriend. The werewolf. One of the scoobies. A Dingo. Now I'm none of these. I guess I'm not even myself anymore. I've changed so much. I don't know my place in the world. I'm so lost. If I was just one of these, I think I could get by, but that would be impossible. The dingoes are dead, you're with Tara, being a werewolf is too dangerous, I can't help Buffy because that would just be too painful. I can't go back to being myself anymore. I'm not the same person. I guess I never will be. My only problem is this, if I'm not me, who am I? What will I do? Who will I be? Where will I go? I guess I have to find out.
-Oz
Dear Willow,
I'm making a new band. We haven't thought of a name yet, but we're thinking. We've had a few gigs and there have been some really big guys coming to our gigs so we're starting to get excited. Maybe we'll make it big, who knows? I'm not really in it for that, but if it comes, that would be great. I thought I should tell you. We had a conversation about this before I think. I finally mastered the E flat diminish 9th. I'm really excited about it. I even did it without losing a finger! I wish you were here. You would have laughed at that wouldn't you have? I wish I could just see your smile. I've been here for a while (Los Angeles) but it doesn't feel like home yet. If I could just see your smile. THAT would feel like home. It reminds me of a song. "You feel like home to me, feel like home to me, feels like im all the way back where I belong" or somthing like that. That's the way I feel. I need to move on. I need to throw this journal away. I need to let go. As hard as it is to do, and as much as I don't want to, I need to let you go. I need to stop holding on. I need to move on. I don't know if I can do it. I don't know if I can be strong. But I will. I'll be brave. For you. I love you now, and I'll love you forever. I'll never forget. Goodbye.
-Oz
***
Oz got up from the park bench where he was sitting. He stood up. Gave the journal one last look, threw it in the trash, and walked away. He would always miss her, and he would always love her. But he had to move on. It hurt unbearably to do it, but he had to, and he knew that without the bad moments in life, the good ones aren't as great. Like Angelus once said,"It hurts sometimes more that we can bear. If we could live without passion, maybe we'd know some kind of peace, but we would be hollow...without passion, we'd be truly dead." Oz still believes that.
***
Dear Willow,
I can't beleive it. I thought for sure you would be waiting for me. I guess that was just selfish. How could I expect you to wait? You didn't even think I would come back. When I found out about you and Tara, I was devastated. Or maybe, that isn't even the right word. I can't even find words to tell you how hurt I was. Now, more than ever, I wish I had never left. I wish things could just go back to the way they were before. Werewolf and all. I miss my life. I used to know my place in the world. I was Oz. Willow's boyfriend. The werewolf. One of the scoobies. A Dingo. Now I'm none of these. I guess I'm not even myself anymore. I've changed so much. I don't know my place in the world. I'm so lost. If I was just one of these, I think I could get by, but that would be impossible. The dingoes are dead, you're with Tara, being a werewolf is too dangerous, I can't help Buffy because that would just be too painful. I can't go back to being myself anymore. I'm not the same person. I guess I never will be. My only problem is this, if I'm not me, who am I? What will I do? Who will I be? Where will I go? I guess I have to find out.
-Oz
Dear Willow,
I'm making a new band. We haven't thought of a name yet, but we're thinking. We've had a few gigs and there have been some really big guys coming to our gigs so we're starting to get excited. Maybe we'll make it big, who knows? I'm not really in it for that, but if it comes, that would be great. I thought I should tell you. We had a conversation about this before I think. I finally mastered the E flat diminish 9th. I'm really excited about it. I even did it without losing a finger! I wish you were here. You would have laughed at that wouldn't you have? I wish I could just see your smile. I've been here for a while (Los Angeles) but it doesn't feel like home yet. If I could just see your smile. THAT would feel like home. It reminds me of a song. "You feel like home to me, feel like home to me, feels like im all the way back where I belong" or somthing like that. That's the way I feel. I need to move on. I need to throw this journal away. I need to let go. As hard as it is to do, and as much as I don't want to, I need to let you go. I need to stop holding on. I need to move on. I don't know if I can do it. I don't know if I can be strong. But I will. I'll be brave. For you. I love you now, and I'll love you forever. I'll never forget. Goodbye.
-Oz
***
Oz got up from the park bench where he was sitting. He stood up. Gave the journal one last look, threw it in the trash, and walked away. He would always miss her, and he would always love her. But he had to move on. It hurt unbearably to do it, but he had to, and he knew that without the bad moments in life, the good ones aren't as great. Like Angelus once said,"It hurts sometimes more that we can bear. If we could live without passion, maybe we'd know some kind of peace, but we would be hollow...without passion, we'd be truly dead." Oz still believes that.
***