Another Approach
Dib streaked for the door and pulled it open trying to fight down his enthusiasm. Zim stood on the other side doing his own best to keep his hatred of the filthy human in check.
"Come on in." Dib said letting Zim in.
The alien glanced around the house. It was different from his own, perhaps a few modifications would be necessary on his 'house'.
Dib made sure the living room was clear of Gaz, he had no worries about his father. "I've got so many questions for you." He said gripping his note book tightly.
"And I many for you. But Dib, you must understand." Zim said. He'd had time to devise his whole scheme. "These creatures, they are very dangerous. We have to be careful. I am alone and if they show up while we are unprepared there will be nothing I can do."
"I understand." Dib said.
"Good." Zim tried to get comfortable on the overly soft couch. "Now, you said you had questions?"
"Oh yes."
Dib went on asking things. He learned the name of Zims race and the name of the enemy that was coming. They were called 'Planet Jackers', Zim was evil but he wasn't insanely creative.
The questioning went back and forth. Zim told Dib about life as an Irken soldier and Dib coughed up information about Earth's defenses.
After awhile Dib noticed the time and the fact that he hadn't even had breakfast. He'd been too queasy from all the excitement.
"Are you hungry?" Dib asked getting up.
Zim sat very still for a moment. "Yes." He finally said.
They went into the kitchen where Dib dug up some sandwich stuff and some sodas.
Zim inspected the foodstuffs curiously then gagged. "Oh, disgusting!" He backed away trying to get the smell away from him.
Dib looked at him puzzled and sniffed the lunchmeat. It seemed fine to him. "Er, how strong is your sense of smell?" Dib asked.
Zim was across the room panting. "Quite strong." He managed then gagged again.
"Hmm, maybe this was a bad idea." He ate a few pieces of lunchmeat rolled in some bread and downed a soda painfully fast. He then put the rest away. "Maybe you just can't eat human food."
"No." Zim said glancing angrily at the fridge.
"Then what are you going to do at school?"
Zim leaned against the wall. "Not eat."
"You could bring a bag lunch. If whatever you eat looks funny, you could just say it's because of that skin condition excuse you used in class." He wandered over and leaned on the wall too. "Say Zim?"
"What?" He was getting more and more annoyed with this monkey-child. Imagine the nerve of the little bundle of stink trying to poison him with that, that *food*.
"How old are you?"
"Twenty-seven cycles." He said bluntly. He really wanted to leave, and leave now.
"What about in years?" Dib asked.
Zim searched his brain. "From what I've seen of your calendar and measure of time, I'd say around one hundred and thirty seven years."
Dib's eyes bugged. "One hundred and thirty seven?"
Zim nodded as if it was no big deal, and to him it wasn't. Then Dib's initial reaction sunk in. He narrowed his eyes at Dib unconsciously. "Why?"
"You're older than any Human alive!"
"Oh. Hmm, yes I see your point." He didn't really but whatever got him out of there the fastest.
"Are you a kid?"
"No of course not!" Zim said, his true ranting nature battled to show itself. "I'm an Irken soldier, in my prime!" He bit his tongue and calmed himself as much as he could. "I'm just, very small, not that I can't do this mission!"
"Er right."
"I, I have to go. I will see you in the school." Zim stormed for the door but found he couldn't even find the thing. He was about to scream in frustration when Dib steered him to the exit.
"Bye Zim."
It was all Zim could to do not glare at the human. "Good bye."
Zim bolted for his base as soon as the door shut. Once inside he ripped off his wig he screamed and screamed and screamed.
Once rid of his pent up anger he took out his contacts placing them in their respective containers.
"Stupid Humans!" He screeched storming to the toilet in the kitchen. Once down in the magenta lights of his lab the sudden facial tick that had sprung up eased and he felt more relaxed.
Perhaps this was a bad plan, but he had learned quite a bit about Earthen defenses. That was what mattered, the mission.
Now all he had to do was keep up this act.
* * *
Skool.
That single word held so much disdain that Zim could hardly bring himself to say it. He despised the place, it taught him nothing even remotely important. Not to mention that it took up a large chunk of his time.
He wanted out...
But the one good thing was it gave him easy access to the Dib-Human. Dib was a wonderful shield against the other Humans and did help him improve his disguise.
But still, Zim's cheeks were scarred over because the number of times he had forced himself to not rant. He had to keep this 'Equal to Human' cover for as long as he could.
Then came the problem.
Real Planet Jackers had seized the Earth.
Zim had seen his chances at keeping Dib in the dark in danger. Wonderful.
But still he used the encounter to prove to Dib that the Planet Jackers did indeed want his planet. He took Dib out to see them, unfortunately he ran right into the ship that was towing the planet away.
Zim lost his cool and vented the last month or sos' worth of anger at the Jackers.
Then Dib opened his mouth and solved everything.
"Why don't you just move your home world somewhere else?"
Three sets of alien eyes and one robotic creature clinging to the ceiling squealing in glee stared at him.
"Hey, why DON'T we do that?" The skinnier Planet Jacker asked.
The larger one shrugged.
The Earth was released and the Jackers headed off to move their home world around a non-dying star.
Zim blinked many times. Was this a good thing or a bad thing?
"Well." Dib said. "That, that wasn't so hard. Was it?"
"No." Zim said crossing his arms. How safe was his cover now?
"So um, is your race still going to come?"
"I will, have to contact them. Later. Tell them. We should return." Zim sped the Voot cruiser back to the Earth. They had to cut it out of the shield, but that hadn't been too hard.
Zim dropped Dib off at his home and went back to his base.
He sulked down in his lair eyes narrowing menacingly at everything. His plans were dashed to pieces. He'd have to revise things.
His eyes flickered to the screen he used to talk with the Tallest. Then an idea struck him.
He'd been banished before, perhaps a second banishing was necessary. It would free Zim up a bit around Dib. And it would put the Human at ease with alien invasions.
Then the armada would come, Earth would be caught off guard entirely.
A squinty, evil smile crept over his face.
Perfect.
Dib streaked for the door and pulled it open trying to fight down his enthusiasm. Zim stood on the other side doing his own best to keep his hatred of the filthy human in check.
"Come on in." Dib said letting Zim in.
The alien glanced around the house. It was different from his own, perhaps a few modifications would be necessary on his 'house'.
Dib made sure the living room was clear of Gaz, he had no worries about his father. "I've got so many questions for you." He said gripping his note book tightly.
"And I many for you. But Dib, you must understand." Zim said. He'd had time to devise his whole scheme. "These creatures, they are very dangerous. We have to be careful. I am alone and if they show up while we are unprepared there will be nothing I can do."
"I understand." Dib said.
"Good." Zim tried to get comfortable on the overly soft couch. "Now, you said you had questions?"
"Oh yes."
Dib went on asking things. He learned the name of Zims race and the name of the enemy that was coming. They were called 'Planet Jackers', Zim was evil but he wasn't insanely creative.
The questioning went back and forth. Zim told Dib about life as an Irken soldier and Dib coughed up information about Earth's defenses.
After awhile Dib noticed the time and the fact that he hadn't even had breakfast. He'd been too queasy from all the excitement.
"Are you hungry?" Dib asked getting up.
Zim sat very still for a moment. "Yes." He finally said.
They went into the kitchen where Dib dug up some sandwich stuff and some sodas.
Zim inspected the foodstuffs curiously then gagged. "Oh, disgusting!" He backed away trying to get the smell away from him.
Dib looked at him puzzled and sniffed the lunchmeat. It seemed fine to him. "Er, how strong is your sense of smell?" Dib asked.
Zim was across the room panting. "Quite strong." He managed then gagged again.
"Hmm, maybe this was a bad idea." He ate a few pieces of lunchmeat rolled in some bread and downed a soda painfully fast. He then put the rest away. "Maybe you just can't eat human food."
"No." Zim said glancing angrily at the fridge.
"Then what are you going to do at school?"
Zim leaned against the wall. "Not eat."
"You could bring a bag lunch. If whatever you eat looks funny, you could just say it's because of that skin condition excuse you used in class." He wandered over and leaned on the wall too. "Say Zim?"
"What?" He was getting more and more annoyed with this monkey-child. Imagine the nerve of the little bundle of stink trying to poison him with that, that *food*.
"How old are you?"
"Twenty-seven cycles." He said bluntly. He really wanted to leave, and leave now.
"What about in years?" Dib asked.
Zim searched his brain. "From what I've seen of your calendar and measure of time, I'd say around one hundred and thirty seven years."
Dib's eyes bugged. "One hundred and thirty seven?"
Zim nodded as if it was no big deal, and to him it wasn't. Then Dib's initial reaction sunk in. He narrowed his eyes at Dib unconsciously. "Why?"
"You're older than any Human alive!"
"Oh. Hmm, yes I see your point." He didn't really but whatever got him out of there the fastest.
"Are you a kid?"
"No of course not!" Zim said, his true ranting nature battled to show itself. "I'm an Irken soldier, in my prime!" He bit his tongue and calmed himself as much as he could. "I'm just, very small, not that I can't do this mission!"
"Er right."
"I, I have to go. I will see you in the school." Zim stormed for the door but found he couldn't even find the thing. He was about to scream in frustration when Dib steered him to the exit.
"Bye Zim."
It was all Zim could to do not glare at the human. "Good bye."
Zim bolted for his base as soon as the door shut. Once inside he ripped off his wig he screamed and screamed and screamed.
Once rid of his pent up anger he took out his contacts placing them in their respective containers.
"Stupid Humans!" He screeched storming to the toilet in the kitchen. Once down in the magenta lights of his lab the sudden facial tick that had sprung up eased and he felt more relaxed.
Perhaps this was a bad plan, but he had learned quite a bit about Earthen defenses. That was what mattered, the mission.
Now all he had to do was keep up this act.
* * *
Skool.
That single word held so much disdain that Zim could hardly bring himself to say it. He despised the place, it taught him nothing even remotely important. Not to mention that it took up a large chunk of his time.
He wanted out...
But the one good thing was it gave him easy access to the Dib-Human. Dib was a wonderful shield against the other Humans and did help him improve his disguise.
But still, Zim's cheeks were scarred over because the number of times he had forced himself to not rant. He had to keep this 'Equal to Human' cover for as long as he could.
Then came the problem.
Real Planet Jackers had seized the Earth.
Zim had seen his chances at keeping Dib in the dark in danger. Wonderful.
But still he used the encounter to prove to Dib that the Planet Jackers did indeed want his planet. He took Dib out to see them, unfortunately he ran right into the ship that was towing the planet away.
Zim lost his cool and vented the last month or sos' worth of anger at the Jackers.
Then Dib opened his mouth and solved everything.
"Why don't you just move your home world somewhere else?"
Three sets of alien eyes and one robotic creature clinging to the ceiling squealing in glee stared at him.
"Hey, why DON'T we do that?" The skinnier Planet Jacker asked.
The larger one shrugged.
The Earth was released and the Jackers headed off to move their home world around a non-dying star.
Zim blinked many times. Was this a good thing or a bad thing?
"Well." Dib said. "That, that wasn't so hard. Was it?"
"No." Zim said crossing his arms. How safe was his cover now?
"So um, is your race still going to come?"
"I will, have to contact them. Later. Tell them. We should return." Zim sped the Voot cruiser back to the Earth. They had to cut it out of the shield, but that hadn't been too hard.
Zim dropped Dib off at his home and went back to his base.
He sulked down in his lair eyes narrowing menacingly at everything. His plans were dashed to pieces. He'd have to revise things.
His eyes flickered to the screen he used to talk with the Tallest. Then an idea struck him.
He'd been banished before, perhaps a second banishing was necessary. It would free Zim up a bit around Dib. And it would put the Human at ease with alien invasions.
Then the armada would come, Earth would be caught off guard entirely.
A squinty, evil smile crept over his face.
Perfect.