The Sorting Hat Experience
Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns most all these characters. I'm just borrowing them for a bit of fun. The story is rated NC-17 due to the use of the sensitive word: lice. If the word lice offends you please do not read any further. Cheerio!!
Scene…..The Sorting Ceremony in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone.
McGonagall: Draco Malfoy
Draco sits under the sorting hat and it lowers to his head.
Sorting Hat: Ahh Lice!!..I mean uh SLYTHERIN!!
McGonagall: Hermione Granger
Hermione sits under the sorting hat.
Sorting Hat: I think….yes…GRYFFINDOR!!
Hermione: But, I'm really smart. Don't you think I should be in RavenClaw?!?
Sorting Hat: Nah, you are smart but you need to be in Gryffindor so you can end up shagging Ron Weasley in book 6.
Hermione gets a disgusted look on her face and McGonagall snatches up the sorting hat and begins to scold it.
McGonagall: Just sort the damn students and stop giving away plots!! Harry Potter!!
Harry sits under the sorting hat and it sits atop his head.
Sorting Hat: Interesting..Where to put you??
Harry: Not Slytherin, not Slytherin!!
Sorting Hat: I really think you should be in Slytherin, it could help you be great!!
Harry: But, I really don't want to be in Slytherin.
Sorting Hat: Trust me, you need to be in Slytherin. Respect my damn authority and don't question the great Sorting Hat!!
Harry: Why do you want me in Slytherin so badly?? What is the deal??
Sorting Hat: You will find out soon enough!! Now shut up and go sit at the Slytherin table!!
Harry: No, I am not moving until you tell me why I should be in Slytherin!!
Sorting Hat (very pissed off): BECAUSE VOLDEMORT IS YOUR FATHER!!!
McGonagall runs up and snatches the hat off Harry's head and begins to yell at it.
McGonagall: Thanks a lot!! You ruined the whole damn book series!! No one was suppose to know that till book 7!!
Sorting Hat: Well, if he hadn't kept pushing it and had just left well enough alone!!
McGonagall: Now, JK will not get her millions!! Daniel Radcliffe won't be a star!! Millions of children will miss out on the joys of Harry Potter. Christians will have to find some other books to burn!! And worst of all….Brandy and Melissa will never become friends!!! God, I hate you sorting hat!!
Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns most all these characters. I'm just borrowing them for a bit of fun. The story is rated NC-17 due to the use of the sensitive word: lice. If the word lice offends you please do not read any further. Cheerio!!
Scene…..The Sorting Ceremony in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone.
McGonagall: Draco Malfoy
Draco sits under the sorting hat and it lowers to his head.
Sorting Hat: Ahh Lice!!..I mean uh SLYTHERIN!!
McGonagall: Hermione Granger
Hermione sits under the sorting hat.
Sorting Hat: I think….yes…GRYFFINDOR!!
Hermione: But, I'm really smart. Don't you think I should be in RavenClaw?!?
Sorting Hat: Nah, you are smart but you need to be in Gryffindor so you can end up shagging Ron Weasley in book 6.
Hermione gets a disgusted look on her face and McGonagall snatches up the sorting hat and begins to scold it.
McGonagall: Just sort the damn students and stop giving away plots!! Harry Potter!!
Harry sits under the sorting hat and it sits atop his head.
Sorting Hat: Interesting..Where to put you??
Harry: Not Slytherin, not Slytherin!!
Sorting Hat: I really think you should be in Slytherin, it could help you be great!!
Harry: But, I really don't want to be in Slytherin.
Sorting Hat: Trust me, you need to be in Slytherin. Respect my damn authority and don't question the great Sorting Hat!!
Harry: Why do you want me in Slytherin so badly?? What is the deal??
Sorting Hat: You will find out soon enough!! Now shut up and go sit at the Slytherin table!!
Harry: No, I am not moving until you tell me why I should be in Slytherin!!
Sorting Hat (very pissed off): BECAUSE VOLDEMORT IS YOUR FATHER!!!
McGonagall runs up and snatches the hat off Harry's head and begins to yell at it.
McGonagall: Thanks a lot!! You ruined the whole damn book series!! No one was suppose to know that till book 7!!
Sorting Hat: Well, if he hadn't kept pushing it and had just left well enough alone!!
McGonagall: Now, JK will not get her millions!! Daniel Radcliffe won't be a star!! Millions of children will miss out on the joys of Harry Potter. Christians will have to find some other books to burn!! And worst of all….Brandy and Melissa will never become friends!!! God, I hate you sorting hat!!