Chapter 3

Cordelia and Fred sat in the corner luncheonette waiting for their sandwiches to be ready. Fred turned to Cordy; "I am so glad that you came back. Finally we are getting' someplace. Poor little Connor, and poor Angel. Charles and I, and Lorne of course, have been at our wits end."

"Well, we should stop at my place and pick up Groo. I'm sure he will want to help, especially if we can open the portal."

Fred leaned in confidentially, "So how was your big romantic vacation, if you don't mind my askin'?"

"It was okay…uh, good. I really have to thank Angel for giving it to me. Us."

"Just okay? You can tell me, Cordy."

Cordy sighed. "Well, you know in a fairy tale when the handsome Prince rescues the Princess and they ride off into the sunset?"

Fred smiled and sighed, "Oh yes."

"Well, do you ever wonder what they talk about afterwards?"

"Oh. Well…no. The story usually ends with the happily ever after."

"Well, in real life the story kind of goes on and on and on." Cordelia looked uncomfortable, " First of all let me say, that Groo is really sweet, and he's got that whole muscle thing happening, and he is totally devoted to me, which is really great…"

"But?"

"Well, for one thing he only has three topics of conversation. Number one…Pylean politics."

Fred grimaced.

"Exactly. It's all Coups d'etat and Special Interest groups and Machiavelli, only not really Machiavelli but some Pylean guy who is just as boring."

Fred nodded sympathetically, "And what's topic number two?"

"His…warriorness, if there is such a word. If I have to hear one more story about his battle to the death with some yucky creature in a slime pit, I am going to scream."

"The pitfalls of dating a hero, I guess." ventured Fred.

"Well, Angel is a warrior. So is Gunn and even Wesley. They just don't talk about it all the time. Which brings us to topic number three. This is kind of embarrassing."

"What is it?"

"How wonderful I am."

Fred shook her head; "This is a problem?"

"Well, it was great for about a day or so. But, and I can't believe I'm saying this, constant adulation gets really old in an amazingly short time."

"Well, couldn't you introduce some new topics?"

"Like what? He's never seen a movie or television. And he's never heard music before. Imagine a guy who's never heard of the Beatles. Or Mickey Mouse. Or Beverly Hills 90210. He's never read any of our books, or any books period. He doesn't know the first thing about our world."

"My goodness, I know how hard it was to catch up after only five years in Pylea! But I don't know, it seems like it might be kinda fun. Teachin' him."

"Well, it was, kind of, at first. But he is so far behind …it just makes me tired. It's so much easier to just park him in front of the tube, you know? God only knows what he picked up. Sometimes innocence can be a real drag, if you get my drift."

"Innocence?"

Cordy leaned in closer, "He didn't even know how to comshuck!"

"What?"

"Well, he knew what to do in theory, but had never exactly put it into practice, if you know what I mean."

"You mean he was a…."

Cordy nodded emphatically, "Totally. Worse than Xander, even!"

"Xander?"

"High School. Don't ask. After Xander I vowed….no more guys of the nerd persuasion!"

"So, are you saying that Groo is a nerd?"

"A Warrior nerd? Yeah, I guess that about sums it up."

"So what are you gonna do?"

"I have no idea," said Cordelia with a sigh. "But how about you? I guess this whole thing with Wesley must have hit you pretty hard."

"Wesley? Well, like Charles I do believe that there is more to that story than meets the eye." She shook her head sadly, "Poor Wes. And on top of the news about Charles and me, too."

"What news about you and Charles?"

"You don't know? But you were the one who told me to go for it, before we went to the ballet, remember? Well, I took your advice, and I'm ever so grateful. I guess I never got to tell you about it before you went away."

Cordelia stared at Fred open mouthed. "You and Gunn? Oh My God…I thought you were interested in Wesley. And I gave him hope that you felt the same way. Oh dear. How did he take the news?"

Fred turned pale; "He never said anything! Just a bunch of warnin's about mixin' work and romance. Oh God, now I feel just terrible! He really hasn't been himself since the ballet, but I've been so caught up with my own happiness, I just never really gave it much thought!"

Cordelia stood up; "The guy behind the counter is waving at us. I guess our sandwiches are ready. Why don't you bring them back to the hotel, and I'll go get Groo and meet you there." She patted Fred's hand. "It's not your fault that it's Gunn you prefer. And it was my misunderstanding that made things worse."

Fred looked up determinedly, "We will clear Wesley's name. It's the very least we can do." Cordy nodded emphatically and left the restaurant.

"Twenty-nine bottles of beer on the wall," Angel warbled flatly as Lorne frowned in concentration. The song was certainly simple enough. Almost not humanly possible to screw up. But then again, no one had ever accused Angel of being human. "Twenty-nine bottles of beeeer…"

"Wait! I have it! Thank the Powers…you can stop!" Lorne wrote the words down quickly before he forgot them. "Whew, they were buried pretty deep, but we got them. Oh, and Angel, what you are contemplating doing to the Grooselug? I wouldn't recommend it. Cordy wouldn't be pleased, and we may need him with all his parts."

Angel sighed, "Hey…I can't help what is deep in my subconscious."

"It wasn't that deep. I got that at ninety-eight bottles. Your feelings for Cordelia were at ninety-nine."

"Oh yeah? What else was in there?"

"Angelcakes, all I can say is that you have one sad and sorry psyche. Why don't you tell her how you feel?"

"Right. After she's just had two weeks of what I can't ever give her?"

"Well, I didn't see our friend Grooselug attached to her hip when she came back. Maybe the man of her dreams isn't all that, after all."

"You really think so?" The gloom lifted slightly.

"I wouldn't be surprised."

During this exchange, Gunn had been busy taking down the many phone messages. But he jumped up when Fred came in with the large bag of sandwiches. "Here let me help you with those. " He offered, "Where'd Cordy go?"

"She'll be back in a minute. We've got roast beef heroes. Do we have to wait for her to eat?"

"How about you, Angel?" Lorne asked.

"It's okay Lorne. I think maybe I can eat. I'm feeling more hopeful about things somehow. No don't get up, I'll go help myself." Angel disappeared into the kitchen.

"Did you get anything?" asked Fred as she and Gunn spread out the sandwiches and sodas.

"I have the phrase that Sahjhan used to open the portal. We can give it a try as soon as the sun sets."

Angel came into the room with a mug of blood. He took a tentative sip. It tasted normal…regular old pig's blood. He realized that he was starving.

Just then Cordelia came in with the Grooselug. He had his arm around her, and he smiled and greeted everyone. Cordelia was also smiling as she gave him a sandwich. They sure looked joined at the hip. Angel put the mug of blood down, forgotten, and forced himself to go over and greet the happy couple.

TBC