Title- Auparavant: Discovery
Author- Noisseau--imhis1in5billion@hotmail.com
Rating- PG
Spoilers- Small one for The Red and the Black......can you find it?
Summary- "What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies."
--Aristotle--
Archive- Gossamer, Fanfiction.net, nowhere else without contacting me
Author's Note- This is part of a series of Pre-XF stories. I have always been fascinated with the idea of our favorite duo meeting before the X-Files, so I thought I'd try my hand at it. Oh, by the way, "auparavant" is French for "before" as in before the X-Files. Enjoy!
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Auparavant: Discovery
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Chilmark High School
Chilmark, MA
October 17, 1978
"Now class, I want you to do your best on this project. Hard work pays off!" exclaimed the grandmotherish English teacher--apparently appearances really could be deceiving. Dana tried not to role her eyes at the cliché, even though she knew it was true. "Children!" the teacher yelled above the class's chatter. "Be quiet," she commanded, even as the bell rang out.
"Finally!" Dana muttered as she began to gather her language textbooks. She bent down to pick up her bag once the room was deserted, but she then jumped as she felt someone dig their fingers into a certain spot in her side--right into her tickle spot! It should be noted that a total of six people in the world knew where Dana Katherine Scully was ticklish; five of them were members of her family, and the sixth....
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"Where are you ticklish, Dane?" Fox asked.
She squinted at him in surprise and was met with his completely innocent expression. Dana raised an eyebrow and said suspiciously, "Why do you want to know?"
"It's for your own protection," he said sagely. "What if you suddenly came down with a rare disease whose cure required the endorphins released by laughter? You could be in serious trouble if you didn't have an experienced person to tickle you!" he exclaimed, putting on a not-so-feigned expression of distress.
Dana suppressed a smile. "You're just gonna have to find out for yourself, aren't ya, Foxy," she purred, expecting him to back down. Unfortunately (or fortunately) for her, he was well aware of what she expected and was prepared to surprise her.
A knowing smile spread across his face as he rose and walked toward her. Dana's smirk abruptly faded, and her eyes grew wide as he took her hand and helped her up. Boldly, his hands shot to her sides and his fingers dug lightly into her ribs, right above her diagram. "Fox, stop it!" she ground out, trying not to laugh.
"Not until you say it," he cried mirthfully, tickling her with renewed vigor.
Unable to contain herself any longer, Dana burst out laughing and wriggled back on the couch trying to escape. "Fox!" she gasped out.
"Say it," he said, her full-bellied laughter bringing a smile to his face.
"Fox--you--are--SO--DEAD!" she roared, and launched herself at him. Knowing that his entire body was one gigantic tickle spot, Dana moved her fingers quickly from his armpits to his neck to his stomach and back again, making him writhe underneath her. "Girls rule, and boys drool!" she yelled.
Fox's laughter bubbled up to join hers, bringing tears to both their eyes and echoing through the house.
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"Fox!" Dana cried, whirling around to face the smirking junior. "What are you doing here? I thought you were getting your driver's license," she said, shouldering her bag. He grinned and produced an opaque piece of plastic from his pocket. "Wow!" she squealed, taking the license reverently. "It's even a good picture; you're smiling!"
"I talked to the principle and he said I could take you out to lunch, Dane!" Fox smiled at her reaction. //If she had a tail, she would be wagging it!// he thought.
"Let's go!" She grabbed his hand and dragged him happily out of the room. Dana stepped out into the hallway, but she failed to notice the hulking eighth grade boy who was barreling straight towards her.
Fox felt her hand ripped from his own as the boy slammed into her small body. Dana flew several feet before she landed on the floor, and everyone heard the sickening thump as her head smacked the linoleum. "DANA!" Fox yelled as the other boy stood dumbly by. Fox knelt beside his friend as her eyes rolled back in her head, and she lost consciousness. "Dana, wake up!" he whispered franticly, trying to control his panic.
"Someone get the nurse!" he yelled, his voice shaking, and ripped off his white, collared shirt to press it against the seemingly gaping wound at the back of her head. //Oh, God! Please, please let her be all right! I'll do anything if you'll please just keep her safe!// he vowed desperately as he cradled her bleeding head in his lap. //Oh, God, there's so much blood!//
Fox's vision blurred with tears as the school nurse gently pushed him away from Dana's prone form. He was vaguely aware of the scream of sirens in the distance and of medics strapping his Dana into a wheeled stretcher. Fox followed closely behind, wringing his hands, his mind racing. //What will I tell her mother? What if she has brain damage! I'm gonna make that kid pay.// he thought ominously as his musings becoming more and more irrational. //What if she dies!?!// He was sure his heart stopped then, and he watched helplessly as they loaded her up. Fox suddenly noticed that he was shivering, not only because of the bitterly cold temperature against his undershirt-clad arms, but because of his steadily mounting fear for his best friend, his Dana.
The EMTs lifted her into the ambulance. Fox felt a hand on his shoulder and looked down. "You and I will go with her, Fox," the school nurse said gently. He nodded gratefully and climbed into the back of the vehicle. The EMS unit pulled away and screeched out of the parking lot toward the island's little hospital.
The technicians worked efficiently to staunch the blood flowing from Dana's head and to stabilize her vital signs. They let Fox hold her hand until they came to a stop and wheeled her into the emergency room, leaving the boy standing helplessly in the hospital corridor.
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Martha's Vineyard Hospital
Oak Bluffs, MA
October 17, 1978
Margaret Scully ran through the double doors into the emergency waiting room. She looked around frantically until her eyes rested on the tossle-haired, bleary-eyed boy sitting hunched over in an uncomfortable chair, his head in his hands. "Fox!"
His head snapped up, and he met her gaze with anguished eyes. "Mrs. Scully. Dane's gonna be okay."
"Oh, thank God!" she cried hugging him tightly. He closed his eyes and sighed, patting her back comfortingly. Maggie pulled away and tousled his hair affectionately, wiping tears from her eyes. "Thank you for being with her, Fox. I'm glad she has you for a friend."
He looked down and mumbled, "I don't deserve her."
"Fox, I--" she began, but stopped when a doctor walked up to them.
"Mrs. Scully?" Maggie nodded. "I'm Doctor Wiley," she said and glanced suspiciously at Fox for a moment before continuing. "May I speak with you privately?" At Mrs. Scully's alarmed look, she was quick to reassure her. "Your daughter is going to be fine." She squinted at Fox again, and seeing him standing with his arm protectively around Maggie, the physician decided to allow him to hear her diagnosis. "Dana has a concussion. The damage is neither major nor permanent; however, I'd like to keep her here for a couple of days for observation--just to be safe."
"Can we see her?" Maggie asked, making a point to include Fox in her request.
Dr. Wiley caught her meaning and smiled at the teenage boy. "Of course. I'll allow it." With that, she showed them to room 381 and left to finish her rounds.
Are you sure you want me in there?" Fox asked tentatively. "I mean, I can wait out here if you'd like to be alone."
Maggie smiled and squeezed his shoulder reassuringly. "You're her best friend, Fox. You belong in there with us." His anguished expression lifted, and he sighed with relief, marveling at this family's acceptance of him.
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12:47 AM
"Dana," a voice cut through the dense fog of her consciousness. Light began to filter in, drawing her out of the warm, dark place and into wakefulness. Her eyes fluttered open, and she squinted in the bright light. A face appeared in front of her, and she tried to focus on it. "Mom?" Dana croaked. "What happened--ouch! My head hurts, Mommy!" she whimpered in a little girl's voice.
"I know, baby. You hit your head when someone pushed you at school."
Fuzzy images cascaded through her mind, but one face remained clear above all the rest. "Fox! Where is he?!" Dana exclaimed, her eyes darting around the small hospital room until she saw him. He was sprawled out in a chair, mouth hanging open, head thrown back, and snoring softly. At the sound of his name, he snuffled quietly and brought his hand up to rub his eyes. Dana smiled lovingly at her friend's lanky form and whispered, "Foxy."
He started and uncovered his eyes. "Dane!" he exclaimed happily, jumping up and rushing to her bedside. "How do you feel?" he asked, gently taking her hand.
"I'm fine," she intoned. He often had to read her eyes when she gave him that standard answer.
Gazing at her intently, he questioned, "Does it hurt much?"
Dana squeezed his hand. "It's like having a migraine. You know, a pounding-through-my-whole-head sort of thing," she said with a grimace.
Fox grinned at her. "Well, I guess your sense of humor isn't damaged."
There was a moment of comfortable silence, and then her hand tightened on his. "What's the prognosis, Mom?" she asked with a slight shudder.
Maggie smiled lovingly at her daughter. "You're going to be fine, sweetheart." She looked up at Fox, and he took his cue.
"You've got a concussion." Urged on by her raised eyebrow, he continued, "Nothing major, but they're gonna keep you here a few days, just to make sure your head won't fall off if you stand up," he joked.
She laughed softly, trying not to move her head. A frown creased her brow. "How long have I been out?" she asked worriedly.
Her mother answered, "For about twelve hours, honey. It's almost one in the morning now." A pained look flashed fleetingly across her face. "Billy and Missy were here earlier. The hospital wouldn't let Charlie in because he's too young." Maggie smiled. "Fox came with you in the ambulance--" Dana looked up at him gratefully. "--And the school called me. We've been here ever since."
Dana's eyes began to water. "Thank you both for staying with me, but you must be exhausted!"
Now that Dana was safe and sound, both Fox and Maggie felt a wave of fatigue wash over them. They both yawned at the same time, and then all three laughed tiredly. "I'll be all right, Mom. I'll see you tomorrow."
Maggie sighed and bent down to kiss her daughter. "All right, Dana." She brushed the hair out of her child's face, and turned to leave.
Fox also made a move to go, but Dana held fast to his hand. "Just a minute, Foxy boy." Maggie left them alone. He came back and sat down on her bedside where she patted it. She pulled his hand up to her stomach and grasped it with both of hers. She caressed his strong, able fingers as he waited for her to speak. Dana swallowed hard and looked up at his sleepy face. "Thank you--for everything. Not just for today, but for always being there for me."
Fox reached out and stroked her cheek, brushing away the single tear that ran down it. "I'm just really glad to be here talking to you," he said in a hoarse voice.
Then she whispered something so quietly, that he had to lean in to hear it. "I love you, Fox. Can I keep you?" As the words fell from her lips, they sounded childish to her own ears. Never the less, she leaned back, smiling, and waited for his reaction.
//Oh, God! Did she just say what I think she said?! She loves me!// His face broke out in a joyous grin and his eyes misted over. "I was yours the first time you held me," he whispered. "No one has held me in a long, long time." He looked down at the hands that held his and squeezed them. "I was alone, Dane. And you appeared out of nowhere and gave me the only thing I ever wanted. They say that big things come in small packages--in my case, the package has red hair." He chuckled softly.
Fox leaned down and kissed her gently on the lips. Just a light touch, a loving caress, but it felt like the most natural thing he'd ever done. The boy pulled back slowly and stopped a few inches from her face, searching her eyes for a reaction.
Dana stared up at him in shock. Again, the age difference between them burdened her mind, and she suddenly grew shy and looked down.
Fox took this to mean that his show of affection was not wanted. He bit his lower lip and hung his head to hide the tears in his eyes.
She saw his reaction and hurriedly grasped his face and brought his eyes up to meet hers. He blinked rapidly and tried to look away, but Dana held him fast, determined to prove that she loved him and welcomed his love for her.
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Fox waited tensely for her response to his kiss. When she looked away from him, he felt as if the remaining pieces of his scarred heart were being thrown back in his face. He felt the tears well up and looked away to hide them. //What did you expect, *Fox*?// he thought derisively. //No one's ever wanted you before, so why should this beautiful girl really want you now?//
To his utter amazement, he felt two small, soft hands clasp his face and turn him toward her. He desperately tried to pull away, to hide his tears, his disappointment, but she wouldn't let him go. He finally rested his eyes suspiciously on hers and gasped when he saw what he'd hopped to see earlier.
He continued to stare dumbly at her as she tugged his face back down to hers. Then, for the second time in as many minutes, their mouths touched. Except this time, it was she who caressed him, who wound her arms around his neck and held him to her. They closed their eyes, basking in their newfound closeness.
Fox buried his face in her neck, while being careful not to jostle her head, and inhaled her sweet scent. "I could stay here forever, Dane." His voice was muffled in her skin as he nuzzled the nape of her neck, leaving a trail of wetness from his tears.
She stroked his tousled head, trailing her fingers down his ear to play with the fine hairs behind it. "I'm comfortable," she murmured, an invitation.
Fox sighed, his breath warm against her skin. "You need your rest, Dane." She started to protest, but he silenced her by kissing her again. "Besides," he smiled. "The nurses would have a fit if I stayed." This drew a careful laugh from her; Dana's head throbbed if she moved it too much.
Giving her one last kiss, Fox rose and squeezed her hand. "I'll be by tomorrow after school. You want me to bring you anything?"
She thought for a moment. "Well. I'm going to be here for a bit, so you can get the George Orwell novel from my locker, and--" She paused, then smiled mischievously. "--The big picture in the back!"
He looked at her strangely but then acquiesced. "No problem, Dane," he said and turned and walked to the door. His hand was on the knob when he stopped and looked back at her. "It's not a nude picture of some movie star is it?!" he asked, feigning a look of trepidation.
Dana giggled and put her hand over her mouth. "It's even better!" she said, waggling her eyebrows.
Fox's shot up almost to his hairline. "This is appropriate for my innocent eyes to see, isn't it?"
"You'll just have to bring it and find out." She smirked knowingly.
"See ya later," Fox said and moved aside as Maggie leaned in.
"Bye, sweetie," she said quietly, blowing a kiss.
Once she was alone, Dana tried to concentrate on thinking about this new aspect of her relationship with Fox Mulder, but she soon dropped off into a pleasant dreamland.
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Chilmark High School
Chilmark, MA
October 18, 1978
The next day, Fox was overwhelmed with sympathy from more people than had talked to him in years. It seemed that every single person in the high school came up to him and asked how Dana was doing, if she had a concussion, and when she'd be coming back. Fox was tempted to get on the intercom and announce her condition just to get everyone off of his back.
He was thoroughly relieved when he was allowed to sign himself out at the beginning of his lunch period without plans to return until his last calculus class. Just as he was about to walk out the door, however, Fox remembered his promise to Dana, and instead made his way to the ninth grade lockers.
After their first run-in when they'd hit it off so well, Fox and Dana had exchanged locker combinations. It was somewhat symbolic of the intimate trust they shared with eachother and no one else. One would often leave class on the pretense of a bathroom break and instead sneak to the other's locker. Humorous notes brightened otherwise drudgerous days, and unexpected, thoughtful gifts always brought a smile.
Now, as he spun the dial on her locker door, Fox thought about the heartfelt confessions they'd made to each other less than twelve hours ago. The thought of Dana Scully actually loving him--of her own free will--made his heart swell and his throat tighten with joyful tears. It made him want to get up on a stage and sing and dance and make a fool of himself just so everyone would know how much he loved her. And for some reason, as his baffled classmates had noticed, he just couldn't seem to wipe the huge, satisfied grin from his face.
"Now what was it she wanted?" he mumbled to himself. Fox stood staring into her neat-as-a-pin locker for a moment before he spotted a hard cover book resting on the top shelf. He flipped thorough it absently, and then squatted down to peer at the back wall. Fox had to stifle what would have been a loud bark of laughter at the large photograph he saw pinned there.
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"Who's up for a game of chicken?" Billy exclaimed.
"Oh, I am! I'll be on your team," cried Charlie.
"Okay, little brother." Billy looked over at the grassy bank of the lake at his older sister lounging in her modest bikini. "Missy, you wanna play?" He almost regretted asking when she shot him a disdainful look and went back to sunbathing. "Well. I guess *mature* junior girls don't play childish games like this," he mumbled loud enough for the three others wading around him to hear.
Charlie snickered at his brother's comment, while Fox and Dana smirked at each other.
"Well I guess I'm stuck with you, Foxy boy," she said lightly as she swam around behind him.
His face fell into a pained mask as her words unintentionally caused his long-held insecurities welled up once again. But Dana didn't let him dwell in his guilt for long. As soon as she'd seen his shoulders slump, Dana had regretted her comment. He was always so quick to judge himself, and she wasn't about to let him jump into it again.
Fox started when he felt her small, wet hands come to rest on his bathing-suit-clad hips. He felt her fingers glide smoothly along his abdominal muscles until her arms were wrapped softly around his waist from behind. For the thousandth time, Fox wondered why she chose to touch him so freely. Whatever doubts may have remained were dispelled with she pressed her warm lips on the spot between he shoulder blades and hugged hem firmly to her.
Billy was too busy trying to balance Charlie on hie shoulders to notice his sister's arms clutching her friend.
Fox grasped her hand, lifted it gently to his face and tenderly kissed her palm to show is gratitude. He then sank down below the water line to allow Dana easier access to his shoulders. She jumped up with a little splash and situated herself on her perch, locking her legs under his arms.
Abruptly, she was thrust up into the air. Dana yelped and intertwined her fingers around her forehead, even though she knew that Fox would hold her legs securely to his chest and would never let her fall. They both laughed delightedly. At that moment, they heard a loud click coming from the shore, followed by a satisfied chuckle. Everyone looked up to see Maggie Scully just lowering her bulky Japanese-made camera. "I think I'll have that one enlarged and sent to your father," she smirked. They all smiled good naturedly, and then got down to the serious business of fighting chickens.
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And there it was, taped to the wall of her locker, that very same photo. //Must be a copy// he thought absently. They looked so silly with the water cascading around them, wide-mouthed with laughter, Dana holding on to him for dear life, and delighted looks in their eyes.
Fox stayed in his squatting position for a moment, lost in one of the happiest memories of his short life, when a thought suddenly struck him. //She asked for a picture of me to keep with the in the hospital! A picture of her and me! Not her parents or her family.... she asked for me!// he thought in awe. //How could she want me?// he wondered doubtfully. //Because she loves you, ya dufus! Remember?!// "Wow," he breathed quietly.
Fox's amazed train of thought was interrupted by a polite cough, which was obviously meant to get his attention. He looked up to see an eighth grader standing next to him, nervously avoiding his intense gaze. Fox rose slowly, taking the time to quickly scan his photographic memory for the boy's identity. Realization dawned on him; this was the overgrown adolescent who had run his Dana down the previous day. His brow furrowed into a scowl and his eyes darkened at the painfully recent memory.
His first impulse was to slam the much shorter guy against the lockers and proceed to give *him* a concussion, but his conscience (which just happened to have Dana Scully's voice) stopped him. Instead, Fox stood rigidly, waiting for the kid to continue.
"I-I," the boy sputtered. "I j-just wanted to say I'm r-really sorry for what I did yes-yesterday." He glanced up at Fox's stern face and continued in a rush, "I wasn't looking w-where I was going, and I know I shouldn't have been running anyway, and I'm so, so sorry!"
Fox stared at him for a moment, torn between beating him to a pulp and patting him comfortingly on the back. The boy was obviously in torment over what had happened and he looked so pathetically contrite, that the latter won out in the end. The boy looked up, obviously surprised at the gesture. Fox sighed, rubbed the bridge of his nose tiredly, and asked, "What's your name?"
The youth wrung his hands and said quietly, "Bobby Thornton." He looked imploringly at the tall junior. "Is Dana gonna be alright?"
"Yeah, Bobby, she's too stubborn not to be. The hospital says she's got a concussion, but should be back to school by next week." Fox was gratified to see the genuine relief on the younger boy's face.
Then Bobby brought something around from behind his back. "I don't know what hospital she's at, but I was wondering if you could give her these." (That didn't quite make sense since there was but one medical facility on the island, but it was obvious he was too shy to deliver them himself.) He held out a bundle of wild flowers, the kind that grew all over the island. "And please tell her how sorry I am," he almost whispered.
Fox took the flowers carefully. "Sure thing, kid. I know she'll like them a lot." He picked up the novel and the photograph and shut Dana's locker door. He was about to bid farewell when he again saw the boy's anguished expression. "Bobby," he said firmly, "it wasn't your fault. No one is really to blame for what happened, so you have no right to beat yourself up about it. Dana would tell you the same." The kid gave him small, grateful smile and them walked slowly back to his classroom.
Fox drove to the hospital as quickly as he possibly could without getting pulled over by Chilmark's one and only police car. He was anxious to see Dana's smiling face. He had waited all day to feel her clear blue eyes caressing him and her small, soft hand resting in his--where he was sure it belonged. The teenager received several skeptical looks as he walked down the corridors toward Dana's room, but no one actually detained hem.
Room 381 loomed in front of him, and Fox twisted the doorknob quietly, not bothering to knock. Dana was sound asleep, curled on her side in the fetal position, her eyes moving rapidly under closed lids. As he sat slowly down in the chair beside her bed, Dana began to moan softly and shift uneasily under the sheets. //She must be dreaming// he thought, and shifted up to sit next to her on the bed.
As soon as Fox laid his hand on her thrashing form, her whimpering quieted and she moved closer to his warmth. Dana wrapped her arms around his thigh and curled herself around his seated body. Fox chuckled softly and continued to run his fingers slowly through her firey hair. He figured the movement would wake her up eventually.
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Dana is fighting--fighting for her life, it seems. But she isn't sure. All that is clear is the demonic form moving menacingly toward her with a gun in its hand. She grabs at it, struggling to overpower the creature, when suddenly she feels like she is falling...no, she is rolling over and over down a flight of stairs, finally landing heavily at the bottom. Where is the gun? There it is...grab it! The thing is moving, crawling toward her, intent on the kill. The tries to fire at it, but the demon knocks the gun out of her bound hands, and pins her down, when...what! It's him! I knew he'd come for me! Mulder! (Mulder?) Oh well, it doesn't matter what I call him as long as her holds me and keeps that thing away. Why can't I go to him? He looks so worried, and I'm fighting him! Oh, those eyes...I'm helpless! Mulder (Mulder?) hold me; I was so afraid! Please don't let me go...I think I might sink down into the floor and disappear if you don't anchor me. I love you, Fox.
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"I love you, Fox," Dana mumbled against his jeans.
Fox was slightly startled at Dana's sleepy declaration. //Even in her sleep she loves me!// he thought incredulously. "I love you, too, sweetheart," he whispered as he leaned down to kiss her now-peaceful face. He sat that way for half an hour, continuing to run his had soothingly through her hair until his back began to cramp and he could no longer feel his leg through the numbness.
//Now how would I like to be woken up?// Fox thought for a moment, and then reached around behind her to slip his hand between the loosely tied folds of her hospital gown. The doctors had insisted that he wear one of the skimpy garments right after Samantha had been taken, and he remembered the embarrassing lack of clothing with loathing. Somehow, he was glad that Dana was still covered with the hospital blanket.
Fox pressed his large hand fully against her skin for a moment, looking for signs of waking. When she continued to snore softly, he ran his fingers lightly up and down her spine, softly kneading her muscles until he heard her sigh contentedly.
Dana tried to nuzzle closer into his leg; but then, realizing that her new pillow was a bit curious, she backed away slightly, and her eyes fluttered open. Fox smiled warmly at her. "Hey, you," he said softly, continuing to stroke her back under the fabric.
Dana's eyed him uncertainly for a moment. She couldn't remember being touched in such a familiar way by a boy before, but she did know that she trusted Fox; he would never take advantage of her. And besides, she liked being close to him. He made her feel safe and cared for. Dana dazzled him with a thousand-watt grin, and sighed again. "That feels nice, Foxy."
The boy also sighed with relief. "All part of the service, ma'am," he said with a smirk, and dug one finger into her ribs. Dana yelped and pulled the covers up over her head. "You can't hide from me, Dane. Come on out; I promise I'll be good," he said hopefully, peering under the blanket. "I don't want you to hurt your head again." His voice grew softer as an unwelcome lump formed in his throat.
Dana peeked over the edge of the blanket at him, saw him scrunch up his face against the tears, and grabbed his free hand. She pressed his palm against her cheek and kissed his thumb.
Fox smiled gratefully and wiped a stray tear from his face. "I met the eighth grader who ran you down yesterday. He came up to talk to me as I was about to come here," he said with a slight waver in his voice.
Dana felt his hand flex almost imperceptibly against her back. "It wasn't his fault, Fox," she murmured quietly.
"I know. I just...I guess I feel like I need someone to blame." He sighed, and leaned down to kiss her forehead softly. "His name is Bobby Thornton, and he was practically groveling at my feet he felt so guilty. The kid even got you some flowers." Fox reached over her to the bedside table, scooping up the small bouquet, and held it under her nose.
"Mmmmm, that's so sweet! Gosh, I hope that poor dear doesn't feel too guilty; I'm kind of enjoying all the attention," she smirked.
"Anything so we'll wait on you hand and foot, huh?"
"You've found me out, Foxy; I guess you just know me too well, and I don't think I'd have it any other way." Dana grabbed the front of his blue button-down shirt and tugged him toward her until their lips touched. "I love you," she whispered against his mouth.
Fox pulled back slightly so that he could search her eyes. "Why?" he asked simply.
Her brow furrowed. "Don't you believe I'd tell you the truth?"
The boy looked down at their joined hands and whispered, "More than I've ever wanted to believe anything."
She knew immediately what the problem was. Fox didn't doubt her word at all; on the contrary, he doubted his own worth to be loved. He'd been ignored and rejected by his parents and peers for so long that he had begun to believe he didn't deserve anyone's love and affection.
"Fox, my dad once told me that there are three kinds of love in this world. The first is when someone says 'I love you if....' That's like you love them if they give you all their money or have sex with you. But if they don't, then you won't love them anymore. Then there's 'I love you because....' That's when you say you'll love someone because they're pretty, or because they make you popular. But if they ever lose those qualities, then there's no reason left to love them. Now, those are both focused on the self--what that person can do for you--but this last one is my favorite: 'I love you, period.' That's how I love you." Dana gently grasped his face to look directly into his tear glazed eyes. "That love isn't based on whether you can or can't do something for me, or because of some part of you that might disappear. I fell in love with all of you, so why should I settle for just a little bit?"
As she talked a small smile had spread across Fox's face, steadily growing, until he wore a huge, ear-splitting that probably would have been painful were he not so happy. "Do you know how wonderful you are?" he said softly, stroking his thumb along her cheekbone.
"I'll be even better if you tell me you brought my book," she smirked. "You wouldn't believe how utterly boring it is just sitting here with nothing to do!"
"Believe me, I know." He hid his grimace by reaching over her again to retrieve the novel from the nightstand. Dana spied the large photograph that was slipped in between the pages and squealed, "You brought it! Don't you love that picture!? My mom says we look 'absolutely adorable'!"
He smiled. "Well, I suppose she would know. So what are you reading?"
Dana glanced at the title and replied, "George Orwell's '1984.' Hey, that's only 7 years away! Do ya think that all that stuff that happens in the book could happen now?"
Fox settled himself next to her against the headboard. "Well, I guess with socialism on the rise...."
They continued to talk for the next hour about the merits and shortcomings of Newspeak, and how '1984' compared to 'Brave New World' in intention and outcome. Just as Dana was starting to doze off with her head on Fox's chest, a middle-aged male nurse stepped into the room and glared reprovingly at the two teens. "Visiting hours ended fifteen minutes ago, sir. I'm afraid you'll have to leave," he growled, crossing his muscular arms threateningly over his barrel chest.
Fox slid off of the bed, laying Dana's head down gently on the pillow. "Guess I won't have to worry about you being protected," he whispered in her ear before kissing her lightly on the lips. "I've gotta go anyway--calculus, you know. Oh, your mom asked me to take you home from the hospital tomorrow morning. It's Saturday, so I'll be here bright and early!"
Dana's eyes widened a bit at his statement. Her parents were usually very selective about who they allowed her to ride with. But then she realized that Maggie was trying to give them some time alone. Even though Fox had just recently gotten his license, her mom knew that he would be as careful as possible with Dana in the car. She trusted him with her baby. "Sounds good, Foxy. I guess I'll sit here until then, pining after you," she said, trying to hold back a grin.
"Oooo, you know what I like, Dane," he said huskily, and hearing the big nurse's foot tapping impatiently, he walked to the door. Fox glanced back, and winked at her. "I love you," he said, mindful of missed opportunities.
Her dazzling smile warmed his heart almost as much as her next word: "Period," she completed, and settled back with her book. Fox gave the nurse a meaningful look, and was granted a small, wistful smile from the big man. With that, he turned on his heel and made his way down the quiet corridor.
As Fox approached his bright red Mustang, he suddenly remembered the desperate prayer he had made the day before for Dana's life. "Well, God," he said aloud, "I guess You came through this time." He sighed and opened the car door. "I know I promised never to speak to You again after Sam, but I didn't expect Dana. I still don't know why You let my sister be taken......but I guess I should thank You for keeping Dane safe." He cranked the engine with a roar. "She means everything to me now; so I want to thank You for giving me back something I thought I'd never have again. You're an all right guy," he uttered with a smile.
As Fox peeled out of the hospital parking lot with the wind whipping his hair, a sudden, inexplicable feeling of peace came over him, and he knew without a doubt that the Creator of the universe was smiling.
**********
"A friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."
--Walter Winchell--
"I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen, not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else."
--C. S. Lewis--"The Weight of Glory"--
"You are the call and I am the answer,
You are the wish, and I the fulfilment,
You are the night, and I the day.
What else - it is perfect enough.
It is perfectly complete,
You and I,
What more--?
Strange, how we suffer in spite of this."
--D. H. Lawrence--
Scully: "'Baby' me, and you'll be peeing through a catheter!"
Author- Noisseau--imhis1in5billion@hotmail.com
Rating- PG
Spoilers- Small one for The Red and the Black......can you find it?
Summary- "What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies."
--Aristotle--
Archive- Gossamer, Fanfiction.net, nowhere else without contacting me
Author's Note- This is part of a series of Pre-XF stories. I have always been fascinated with the idea of our favorite duo meeting before the X-Files, so I thought I'd try my hand at it. Oh, by the way, "auparavant" is French for "before" as in before the X-Files. Enjoy!
**********
Auparavant: Discovery
**********
Chilmark High School
Chilmark, MA
October 17, 1978
"Now class, I want you to do your best on this project. Hard work pays off!" exclaimed the grandmotherish English teacher--apparently appearances really could be deceiving. Dana tried not to role her eyes at the cliché, even though she knew it was true. "Children!" the teacher yelled above the class's chatter. "Be quiet," she commanded, even as the bell rang out.
"Finally!" Dana muttered as she began to gather her language textbooks. She bent down to pick up her bag once the room was deserted, but she then jumped as she felt someone dig their fingers into a certain spot in her side--right into her tickle spot! It should be noted that a total of six people in the world knew where Dana Katherine Scully was ticklish; five of them were members of her family, and the sixth....
**********
**********
"Where are you ticklish, Dane?" Fox asked.
She squinted at him in surprise and was met with his completely innocent expression. Dana raised an eyebrow and said suspiciously, "Why do you want to know?"
"It's for your own protection," he said sagely. "What if you suddenly came down with a rare disease whose cure required the endorphins released by laughter? You could be in serious trouble if you didn't have an experienced person to tickle you!" he exclaimed, putting on a not-so-feigned expression of distress.
Dana suppressed a smile. "You're just gonna have to find out for yourself, aren't ya, Foxy," she purred, expecting him to back down. Unfortunately (or fortunately) for her, he was well aware of what she expected and was prepared to surprise her.
A knowing smile spread across his face as he rose and walked toward her. Dana's smirk abruptly faded, and her eyes grew wide as he took her hand and helped her up. Boldly, his hands shot to her sides and his fingers dug lightly into her ribs, right above her diagram. "Fox, stop it!" she ground out, trying not to laugh.
"Not until you say it," he cried mirthfully, tickling her with renewed vigor.
Unable to contain herself any longer, Dana burst out laughing and wriggled back on the couch trying to escape. "Fox!" she gasped out.
"Say it," he said, her full-bellied laughter bringing a smile to his face.
"Fox--you--are--SO--DEAD!" she roared, and launched herself at him. Knowing that his entire body was one gigantic tickle spot, Dana moved her fingers quickly from his armpits to his neck to his stomach and back again, making him writhe underneath her. "Girls rule, and boys drool!" she yelled.
Fox's laughter bubbled up to join hers, bringing tears to both their eyes and echoing through the house.
**********
**********
"Fox!" Dana cried, whirling around to face the smirking junior. "What are you doing here? I thought you were getting your driver's license," she said, shouldering her bag. He grinned and produced an opaque piece of plastic from his pocket. "Wow!" she squealed, taking the license reverently. "It's even a good picture; you're smiling!"
"I talked to the principle and he said I could take you out to lunch, Dane!" Fox smiled at her reaction. //If she had a tail, she would be wagging it!// he thought.
"Let's go!" She grabbed his hand and dragged him happily out of the room. Dana stepped out into the hallway, but she failed to notice the hulking eighth grade boy who was barreling straight towards her.
Fox felt her hand ripped from his own as the boy slammed into her small body. Dana flew several feet before she landed on the floor, and everyone heard the sickening thump as her head smacked the linoleum. "DANA!" Fox yelled as the other boy stood dumbly by. Fox knelt beside his friend as her eyes rolled back in her head, and she lost consciousness. "Dana, wake up!" he whispered franticly, trying to control his panic.
"Someone get the nurse!" he yelled, his voice shaking, and ripped off his white, collared shirt to press it against the seemingly gaping wound at the back of her head. //Oh, God! Please, please let her be all right! I'll do anything if you'll please just keep her safe!// he vowed desperately as he cradled her bleeding head in his lap. //Oh, God, there's so much blood!//
Fox's vision blurred with tears as the school nurse gently pushed him away from Dana's prone form. He was vaguely aware of the scream of sirens in the distance and of medics strapping his Dana into a wheeled stretcher. Fox followed closely behind, wringing his hands, his mind racing. //What will I tell her mother? What if she has brain damage! I'm gonna make that kid pay.// he thought ominously as his musings becoming more and more irrational. //What if she dies!?!// He was sure his heart stopped then, and he watched helplessly as they loaded her up. Fox suddenly noticed that he was shivering, not only because of the bitterly cold temperature against his undershirt-clad arms, but because of his steadily mounting fear for his best friend, his Dana.
The EMTs lifted her into the ambulance. Fox felt a hand on his shoulder and looked down. "You and I will go with her, Fox," the school nurse said gently. He nodded gratefully and climbed into the back of the vehicle. The EMS unit pulled away and screeched out of the parking lot toward the island's little hospital.
The technicians worked efficiently to staunch the blood flowing from Dana's head and to stabilize her vital signs. They let Fox hold her hand until they came to a stop and wheeled her into the emergency room, leaving the boy standing helplessly in the hospital corridor.
**********
Martha's Vineyard Hospital
Oak Bluffs, MA
October 17, 1978
Margaret Scully ran through the double doors into the emergency waiting room. She looked around frantically until her eyes rested on the tossle-haired, bleary-eyed boy sitting hunched over in an uncomfortable chair, his head in his hands. "Fox!"
His head snapped up, and he met her gaze with anguished eyes. "Mrs. Scully. Dane's gonna be okay."
"Oh, thank God!" she cried hugging him tightly. He closed his eyes and sighed, patting her back comfortingly. Maggie pulled away and tousled his hair affectionately, wiping tears from her eyes. "Thank you for being with her, Fox. I'm glad she has you for a friend."
He looked down and mumbled, "I don't deserve her."
"Fox, I--" she began, but stopped when a doctor walked up to them.
"Mrs. Scully?" Maggie nodded. "I'm Doctor Wiley," she said and glanced suspiciously at Fox for a moment before continuing. "May I speak with you privately?" At Mrs. Scully's alarmed look, she was quick to reassure her. "Your daughter is going to be fine." She squinted at Fox again, and seeing him standing with his arm protectively around Maggie, the physician decided to allow him to hear her diagnosis. "Dana has a concussion. The damage is neither major nor permanent; however, I'd like to keep her here for a couple of days for observation--just to be safe."
"Can we see her?" Maggie asked, making a point to include Fox in her request.
Dr. Wiley caught her meaning and smiled at the teenage boy. "Of course. I'll allow it." With that, she showed them to room 381 and left to finish her rounds.
Are you sure you want me in there?" Fox asked tentatively. "I mean, I can wait out here if you'd like to be alone."
Maggie smiled and squeezed his shoulder reassuringly. "You're her best friend, Fox. You belong in there with us." His anguished expression lifted, and he sighed with relief, marveling at this family's acceptance of him.
**********
12:47 AM
"Dana," a voice cut through the dense fog of her consciousness. Light began to filter in, drawing her out of the warm, dark place and into wakefulness. Her eyes fluttered open, and she squinted in the bright light. A face appeared in front of her, and she tried to focus on it. "Mom?" Dana croaked. "What happened--ouch! My head hurts, Mommy!" she whimpered in a little girl's voice.
"I know, baby. You hit your head when someone pushed you at school."
Fuzzy images cascaded through her mind, but one face remained clear above all the rest. "Fox! Where is he?!" Dana exclaimed, her eyes darting around the small hospital room until she saw him. He was sprawled out in a chair, mouth hanging open, head thrown back, and snoring softly. At the sound of his name, he snuffled quietly and brought his hand up to rub his eyes. Dana smiled lovingly at her friend's lanky form and whispered, "Foxy."
He started and uncovered his eyes. "Dane!" he exclaimed happily, jumping up and rushing to her bedside. "How do you feel?" he asked, gently taking her hand.
"I'm fine," she intoned. He often had to read her eyes when she gave him that standard answer.
Gazing at her intently, he questioned, "Does it hurt much?"
Dana squeezed his hand. "It's like having a migraine. You know, a pounding-through-my-whole-head sort of thing," she said with a grimace.
Fox grinned at her. "Well, I guess your sense of humor isn't damaged."
There was a moment of comfortable silence, and then her hand tightened on his. "What's the prognosis, Mom?" she asked with a slight shudder.
Maggie smiled lovingly at her daughter. "You're going to be fine, sweetheart." She looked up at Fox, and he took his cue.
"You've got a concussion." Urged on by her raised eyebrow, he continued, "Nothing major, but they're gonna keep you here a few days, just to make sure your head won't fall off if you stand up," he joked.
She laughed softly, trying not to move her head. A frown creased her brow. "How long have I been out?" she asked worriedly.
Her mother answered, "For about twelve hours, honey. It's almost one in the morning now." A pained look flashed fleetingly across her face. "Billy and Missy were here earlier. The hospital wouldn't let Charlie in because he's too young." Maggie smiled. "Fox came with you in the ambulance--" Dana looked up at him gratefully. "--And the school called me. We've been here ever since."
Dana's eyes began to water. "Thank you both for staying with me, but you must be exhausted!"
Now that Dana was safe and sound, both Fox and Maggie felt a wave of fatigue wash over them. They both yawned at the same time, and then all three laughed tiredly. "I'll be all right, Mom. I'll see you tomorrow."
Maggie sighed and bent down to kiss her daughter. "All right, Dana." She brushed the hair out of her child's face, and turned to leave.
Fox also made a move to go, but Dana held fast to his hand. "Just a minute, Foxy boy." Maggie left them alone. He came back and sat down on her bedside where she patted it. She pulled his hand up to her stomach and grasped it with both of hers. She caressed his strong, able fingers as he waited for her to speak. Dana swallowed hard and looked up at his sleepy face. "Thank you--for everything. Not just for today, but for always being there for me."
Fox reached out and stroked her cheek, brushing away the single tear that ran down it. "I'm just really glad to be here talking to you," he said in a hoarse voice.
Then she whispered something so quietly, that he had to lean in to hear it. "I love you, Fox. Can I keep you?" As the words fell from her lips, they sounded childish to her own ears. Never the less, she leaned back, smiling, and waited for his reaction.
//Oh, God! Did she just say what I think she said?! She loves me!// His face broke out in a joyous grin and his eyes misted over. "I was yours the first time you held me," he whispered. "No one has held me in a long, long time." He looked down at the hands that held his and squeezed them. "I was alone, Dane. And you appeared out of nowhere and gave me the only thing I ever wanted. They say that big things come in small packages--in my case, the package has red hair." He chuckled softly.
Fox leaned down and kissed her gently on the lips. Just a light touch, a loving caress, but it felt like the most natural thing he'd ever done. The boy pulled back slowly and stopped a few inches from her face, searching her eyes for a reaction.
Dana stared up at him in shock. Again, the age difference between them burdened her mind, and she suddenly grew shy and looked down.
Fox took this to mean that his show of affection was not wanted. He bit his lower lip and hung his head to hide the tears in his eyes.
She saw his reaction and hurriedly grasped his face and brought his eyes up to meet hers. He blinked rapidly and tried to look away, but Dana held him fast, determined to prove that she loved him and welcomed his love for her.
**********
Fox waited tensely for her response to his kiss. When she looked away from him, he felt as if the remaining pieces of his scarred heart were being thrown back in his face. He felt the tears well up and looked away to hide them. //What did you expect, *Fox*?// he thought derisively. //No one's ever wanted you before, so why should this beautiful girl really want you now?//
To his utter amazement, he felt two small, soft hands clasp his face and turn him toward her. He desperately tried to pull away, to hide his tears, his disappointment, but she wouldn't let him go. He finally rested his eyes suspiciously on hers and gasped when he saw what he'd hopped to see earlier.
He continued to stare dumbly at her as she tugged his face back down to hers. Then, for the second time in as many minutes, their mouths touched. Except this time, it was she who caressed him, who wound her arms around his neck and held him to her. They closed their eyes, basking in their newfound closeness.
Fox buried his face in her neck, while being careful not to jostle her head, and inhaled her sweet scent. "I could stay here forever, Dane." His voice was muffled in her skin as he nuzzled the nape of her neck, leaving a trail of wetness from his tears.
She stroked his tousled head, trailing her fingers down his ear to play with the fine hairs behind it. "I'm comfortable," she murmured, an invitation.
Fox sighed, his breath warm against her skin. "You need your rest, Dane." She started to protest, but he silenced her by kissing her again. "Besides," he smiled. "The nurses would have a fit if I stayed." This drew a careful laugh from her; Dana's head throbbed if she moved it too much.
Giving her one last kiss, Fox rose and squeezed her hand. "I'll be by tomorrow after school. You want me to bring you anything?"
She thought for a moment. "Well. I'm going to be here for a bit, so you can get the George Orwell novel from my locker, and--" She paused, then smiled mischievously. "--The big picture in the back!"
He looked at her strangely but then acquiesced. "No problem, Dane," he said and turned and walked to the door. His hand was on the knob when he stopped and looked back at her. "It's not a nude picture of some movie star is it?!" he asked, feigning a look of trepidation.
Dana giggled and put her hand over her mouth. "It's even better!" she said, waggling her eyebrows.
Fox's shot up almost to his hairline. "This is appropriate for my innocent eyes to see, isn't it?"
"You'll just have to bring it and find out." She smirked knowingly.
"See ya later," Fox said and moved aside as Maggie leaned in.
"Bye, sweetie," she said quietly, blowing a kiss.
Once she was alone, Dana tried to concentrate on thinking about this new aspect of her relationship with Fox Mulder, but she soon dropped off into a pleasant dreamland.
**********
Chilmark High School
Chilmark, MA
October 18, 1978
The next day, Fox was overwhelmed with sympathy from more people than had talked to him in years. It seemed that every single person in the high school came up to him and asked how Dana was doing, if she had a concussion, and when she'd be coming back. Fox was tempted to get on the intercom and announce her condition just to get everyone off of his back.
He was thoroughly relieved when he was allowed to sign himself out at the beginning of his lunch period without plans to return until his last calculus class. Just as he was about to walk out the door, however, Fox remembered his promise to Dana, and instead made his way to the ninth grade lockers.
After their first run-in when they'd hit it off so well, Fox and Dana had exchanged locker combinations. It was somewhat symbolic of the intimate trust they shared with eachother and no one else. One would often leave class on the pretense of a bathroom break and instead sneak to the other's locker. Humorous notes brightened otherwise drudgerous days, and unexpected, thoughtful gifts always brought a smile.
Now, as he spun the dial on her locker door, Fox thought about the heartfelt confessions they'd made to each other less than twelve hours ago. The thought of Dana Scully actually loving him--of her own free will--made his heart swell and his throat tighten with joyful tears. It made him want to get up on a stage and sing and dance and make a fool of himself just so everyone would know how much he loved her. And for some reason, as his baffled classmates had noticed, he just couldn't seem to wipe the huge, satisfied grin from his face.
"Now what was it she wanted?" he mumbled to himself. Fox stood staring into her neat-as-a-pin locker for a moment before he spotted a hard cover book resting on the top shelf. He flipped thorough it absently, and then squatted down to peer at the back wall. Fox had to stifle what would have been a loud bark of laughter at the large photograph he saw pinned there.
**********
**********
"Who's up for a game of chicken?" Billy exclaimed.
"Oh, I am! I'll be on your team," cried Charlie.
"Okay, little brother." Billy looked over at the grassy bank of the lake at his older sister lounging in her modest bikini. "Missy, you wanna play?" He almost regretted asking when she shot him a disdainful look and went back to sunbathing. "Well. I guess *mature* junior girls don't play childish games like this," he mumbled loud enough for the three others wading around him to hear.
Charlie snickered at his brother's comment, while Fox and Dana smirked at each other.
"Well I guess I'm stuck with you, Foxy boy," she said lightly as she swam around behind him.
His face fell into a pained mask as her words unintentionally caused his long-held insecurities welled up once again. But Dana didn't let him dwell in his guilt for long. As soon as she'd seen his shoulders slump, Dana had regretted her comment. He was always so quick to judge himself, and she wasn't about to let him jump into it again.
Fox started when he felt her small, wet hands come to rest on his bathing-suit-clad hips. He felt her fingers glide smoothly along his abdominal muscles until her arms were wrapped softly around his waist from behind. For the thousandth time, Fox wondered why she chose to touch him so freely. Whatever doubts may have remained were dispelled with she pressed her warm lips on the spot between he shoulder blades and hugged hem firmly to her.
Billy was too busy trying to balance Charlie on hie shoulders to notice his sister's arms clutching her friend.
Fox grasped her hand, lifted it gently to his face and tenderly kissed her palm to show is gratitude. He then sank down below the water line to allow Dana easier access to his shoulders. She jumped up with a little splash and situated herself on her perch, locking her legs under his arms.
Abruptly, she was thrust up into the air. Dana yelped and intertwined her fingers around her forehead, even though she knew that Fox would hold her legs securely to his chest and would never let her fall. They both laughed delightedly. At that moment, they heard a loud click coming from the shore, followed by a satisfied chuckle. Everyone looked up to see Maggie Scully just lowering her bulky Japanese-made camera. "I think I'll have that one enlarged and sent to your father," she smirked. They all smiled good naturedly, and then got down to the serious business of fighting chickens.
**********
**********
And there it was, taped to the wall of her locker, that very same photo. //Must be a copy// he thought absently. They looked so silly with the water cascading around them, wide-mouthed with laughter, Dana holding on to him for dear life, and delighted looks in their eyes.
Fox stayed in his squatting position for a moment, lost in one of the happiest memories of his short life, when a thought suddenly struck him. //She asked for a picture of me to keep with the in the hospital! A picture of her and me! Not her parents or her family.... she asked for me!// he thought in awe. //How could she want me?// he wondered doubtfully. //Because she loves you, ya dufus! Remember?!// "Wow," he breathed quietly.
Fox's amazed train of thought was interrupted by a polite cough, which was obviously meant to get his attention. He looked up to see an eighth grader standing next to him, nervously avoiding his intense gaze. Fox rose slowly, taking the time to quickly scan his photographic memory for the boy's identity. Realization dawned on him; this was the overgrown adolescent who had run his Dana down the previous day. His brow furrowed into a scowl and his eyes darkened at the painfully recent memory.
His first impulse was to slam the much shorter guy against the lockers and proceed to give *him* a concussion, but his conscience (which just happened to have Dana Scully's voice) stopped him. Instead, Fox stood rigidly, waiting for the kid to continue.
"I-I," the boy sputtered. "I j-just wanted to say I'm r-really sorry for what I did yes-yesterday." He glanced up at Fox's stern face and continued in a rush, "I wasn't looking w-where I was going, and I know I shouldn't have been running anyway, and I'm so, so sorry!"
Fox stared at him for a moment, torn between beating him to a pulp and patting him comfortingly on the back. The boy was obviously in torment over what had happened and he looked so pathetically contrite, that the latter won out in the end. The boy looked up, obviously surprised at the gesture. Fox sighed, rubbed the bridge of his nose tiredly, and asked, "What's your name?"
The youth wrung his hands and said quietly, "Bobby Thornton." He looked imploringly at the tall junior. "Is Dana gonna be alright?"
"Yeah, Bobby, she's too stubborn not to be. The hospital says she's got a concussion, but should be back to school by next week." Fox was gratified to see the genuine relief on the younger boy's face.
Then Bobby brought something around from behind his back. "I don't know what hospital she's at, but I was wondering if you could give her these." (That didn't quite make sense since there was but one medical facility on the island, but it was obvious he was too shy to deliver them himself.) He held out a bundle of wild flowers, the kind that grew all over the island. "And please tell her how sorry I am," he almost whispered.
Fox took the flowers carefully. "Sure thing, kid. I know she'll like them a lot." He picked up the novel and the photograph and shut Dana's locker door. He was about to bid farewell when he again saw the boy's anguished expression. "Bobby," he said firmly, "it wasn't your fault. No one is really to blame for what happened, so you have no right to beat yourself up about it. Dana would tell you the same." The kid gave him small, grateful smile and them walked slowly back to his classroom.
Fox drove to the hospital as quickly as he possibly could without getting pulled over by Chilmark's one and only police car. He was anxious to see Dana's smiling face. He had waited all day to feel her clear blue eyes caressing him and her small, soft hand resting in his--where he was sure it belonged. The teenager received several skeptical looks as he walked down the corridors toward Dana's room, but no one actually detained hem.
Room 381 loomed in front of him, and Fox twisted the doorknob quietly, not bothering to knock. Dana was sound asleep, curled on her side in the fetal position, her eyes moving rapidly under closed lids. As he sat slowly down in the chair beside her bed, Dana began to moan softly and shift uneasily under the sheets. //She must be dreaming// he thought, and shifted up to sit next to her on the bed.
As soon as Fox laid his hand on her thrashing form, her whimpering quieted and she moved closer to his warmth. Dana wrapped her arms around his thigh and curled herself around his seated body. Fox chuckled softly and continued to run his fingers slowly through her firey hair. He figured the movement would wake her up eventually.
**********
**********
Dana is fighting--fighting for her life, it seems. But she isn't sure. All that is clear is the demonic form moving menacingly toward her with a gun in its hand. She grabs at it, struggling to overpower the creature, when suddenly she feels like she is falling...no, she is rolling over and over down a flight of stairs, finally landing heavily at the bottom. Where is the gun? There it is...grab it! The thing is moving, crawling toward her, intent on the kill. The tries to fire at it, but the demon knocks the gun out of her bound hands, and pins her down, when...what! It's him! I knew he'd come for me! Mulder! (Mulder?) Oh well, it doesn't matter what I call him as long as her holds me and keeps that thing away. Why can't I go to him? He looks so worried, and I'm fighting him! Oh, those eyes...I'm helpless! Mulder (Mulder?) hold me; I was so afraid! Please don't let me go...I think I might sink down into the floor and disappear if you don't anchor me. I love you, Fox.
**********
**********
"I love you, Fox," Dana mumbled against his jeans.
Fox was slightly startled at Dana's sleepy declaration. //Even in her sleep she loves me!// he thought incredulously. "I love you, too, sweetheart," he whispered as he leaned down to kiss her now-peaceful face. He sat that way for half an hour, continuing to run his had soothingly through her hair until his back began to cramp and he could no longer feel his leg through the numbness.
//Now how would I like to be woken up?// Fox thought for a moment, and then reached around behind her to slip his hand between the loosely tied folds of her hospital gown. The doctors had insisted that he wear one of the skimpy garments right after Samantha had been taken, and he remembered the embarrassing lack of clothing with loathing. Somehow, he was glad that Dana was still covered with the hospital blanket.
Fox pressed his large hand fully against her skin for a moment, looking for signs of waking. When she continued to snore softly, he ran his fingers lightly up and down her spine, softly kneading her muscles until he heard her sigh contentedly.
Dana tried to nuzzle closer into his leg; but then, realizing that her new pillow was a bit curious, she backed away slightly, and her eyes fluttered open. Fox smiled warmly at her. "Hey, you," he said softly, continuing to stroke her back under the fabric.
Dana's eyed him uncertainly for a moment. She couldn't remember being touched in such a familiar way by a boy before, but she did know that she trusted Fox; he would never take advantage of her. And besides, she liked being close to him. He made her feel safe and cared for. Dana dazzled him with a thousand-watt grin, and sighed again. "That feels nice, Foxy."
The boy also sighed with relief. "All part of the service, ma'am," he said with a smirk, and dug one finger into her ribs. Dana yelped and pulled the covers up over her head. "You can't hide from me, Dane. Come on out; I promise I'll be good," he said hopefully, peering under the blanket. "I don't want you to hurt your head again." His voice grew softer as an unwelcome lump formed in his throat.
Dana peeked over the edge of the blanket at him, saw him scrunch up his face against the tears, and grabbed his free hand. She pressed his palm against her cheek and kissed his thumb.
Fox smiled gratefully and wiped a stray tear from his face. "I met the eighth grader who ran you down yesterday. He came up to talk to me as I was about to come here," he said with a slight waver in his voice.
Dana felt his hand flex almost imperceptibly against her back. "It wasn't his fault, Fox," she murmured quietly.
"I know. I just...I guess I feel like I need someone to blame." He sighed, and leaned down to kiss her forehead softly. "His name is Bobby Thornton, and he was practically groveling at my feet he felt so guilty. The kid even got you some flowers." Fox reached over her to the bedside table, scooping up the small bouquet, and held it under her nose.
"Mmmmm, that's so sweet! Gosh, I hope that poor dear doesn't feel too guilty; I'm kind of enjoying all the attention," she smirked.
"Anything so we'll wait on you hand and foot, huh?"
"You've found me out, Foxy; I guess you just know me too well, and I don't think I'd have it any other way." Dana grabbed the front of his blue button-down shirt and tugged him toward her until their lips touched. "I love you," she whispered against his mouth.
Fox pulled back slightly so that he could search her eyes. "Why?" he asked simply.
Her brow furrowed. "Don't you believe I'd tell you the truth?"
The boy looked down at their joined hands and whispered, "More than I've ever wanted to believe anything."
She knew immediately what the problem was. Fox didn't doubt her word at all; on the contrary, he doubted his own worth to be loved. He'd been ignored and rejected by his parents and peers for so long that he had begun to believe he didn't deserve anyone's love and affection.
"Fox, my dad once told me that there are three kinds of love in this world. The first is when someone says 'I love you if....' That's like you love them if they give you all their money or have sex with you. But if they don't, then you won't love them anymore. Then there's 'I love you because....' That's when you say you'll love someone because they're pretty, or because they make you popular. But if they ever lose those qualities, then there's no reason left to love them. Now, those are both focused on the self--what that person can do for you--but this last one is my favorite: 'I love you, period.' That's how I love you." Dana gently grasped his face to look directly into his tear glazed eyes. "That love isn't based on whether you can or can't do something for me, or because of some part of you that might disappear. I fell in love with all of you, so why should I settle for just a little bit?"
As she talked a small smile had spread across Fox's face, steadily growing, until he wore a huge, ear-splitting that probably would have been painful were he not so happy. "Do you know how wonderful you are?" he said softly, stroking his thumb along her cheekbone.
"I'll be even better if you tell me you brought my book," she smirked. "You wouldn't believe how utterly boring it is just sitting here with nothing to do!"
"Believe me, I know." He hid his grimace by reaching over her again to retrieve the novel from the nightstand. Dana spied the large photograph that was slipped in between the pages and squealed, "You brought it! Don't you love that picture!? My mom says we look 'absolutely adorable'!"
He smiled. "Well, I suppose she would know. So what are you reading?"
Dana glanced at the title and replied, "George Orwell's '1984.' Hey, that's only 7 years away! Do ya think that all that stuff that happens in the book could happen now?"
Fox settled himself next to her against the headboard. "Well, I guess with socialism on the rise...."
They continued to talk for the next hour about the merits and shortcomings of Newspeak, and how '1984' compared to 'Brave New World' in intention and outcome. Just as Dana was starting to doze off with her head on Fox's chest, a middle-aged male nurse stepped into the room and glared reprovingly at the two teens. "Visiting hours ended fifteen minutes ago, sir. I'm afraid you'll have to leave," he growled, crossing his muscular arms threateningly over his barrel chest.
Fox slid off of the bed, laying Dana's head down gently on the pillow. "Guess I won't have to worry about you being protected," he whispered in her ear before kissing her lightly on the lips. "I've gotta go anyway--calculus, you know. Oh, your mom asked me to take you home from the hospital tomorrow morning. It's Saturday, so I'll be here bright and early!"
Dana's eyes widened a bit at his statement. Her parents were usually very selective about who they allowed her to ride with. But then she realized that Maggie was trying to give them some time alone. Even though Fox had just recently gotten his license, her mom knew that he would be as careful as possible with Dana in the car. She trusted him with her baby. "Sounds good, Foxy. I guess I'll sit here until then, pining after you," she said, trying to hold back a grin.
"Oooo, you know what I like, Dane," he said huskily, and hearing the big nurse's foot tapping impatiently, he walked to the door. Fox glanced back, and winked at her. "I love you," he said, mindful of missed opportunities.
Her dazzling smile warmed his heart almost as much as her next word: "Period," she completed, and settled back with her book. Fox gave the nurse a meaningful look, and was granted a small, wistful smile from the big man. With that, he turned on his heel and made his way down the quiet corridor.
As Fox approached his bright red Mustang, he suddenly remembered the desperate prayer he had made the day before for Dana's life. "Well, God," he said aloud, "I guess You came through this time." He sighed and opened the car door. "I know I promised never to speak to You again after Sam, but I didn't expect Dana. I still don't know why You let my sister be taken......but I guess I should thank You for keeping Dane safe." He cranked the engine with a roar. "She means everything to me now; so I want to thank You for giving me back something I thought I'd never have again. You're an all right guy," he uttered with a smile.
As Fox peeled out of the hospital parking lot with the wind whipping his hair, a sudden, inexplicable feeling of peace came over him, and he knew without a doubt that the Creator of the universe was smiling.
**********
"A friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."
--Walter Winchell--
"I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen, not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else."
--C. S. Lewis--"The Weight of Glory"--
"You are the call and I am the answer,
You are the wish, and I the fulfilment,
You are the night, and I the day.
What else - it is perfect enough.
It is perfectly complete,
You and I,
What more--?
Strange, how we suffer in spite of this."
--D. H. Lawrence--
Scully: "'Baby' me, and you'll be peeing through a catheter!"